Authors Note- Here is the next installment, hope you enjoy it and leave me your thoughts.
Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.
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EPOV
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I grabbed onto Bella's hands, trying to stop her shaking as we walked through the terminal. I knew she was nervous, and I wanted her to calm down. Especially being on a plane adding to it. She said earlier that she felt nauseous, and I didn't want anything to happen on a seven hour flight.
Thanksgiving has flown past us in a flurry of sweet potatoes, and a small ten pound turkey that I ruined in the oven. It was a very fun day to say in the least, eating burnt bird was funny despite what one may think. It was what was ruined that made it funny; we were less than perfect, proud to be it.
Now we had ten days off work, and in those days we were going to be spending Christmas with our grandparents in London, then flying to Chicago for help with the wedding a little bit before returning to New York.
We were spending a total of ten days away from New York. Today is the twenty third, and until the twenty seventh we are staying here, and then we have a flight that day at twelve forty to Chicago, spending the rest of our time there and flying out early morning on the third so we will be back at work on the fourth.
I hoped the plans would work out alright and go off without a hitch. When we were seated in the two first class seats, which my parents insisted they pay for despite my wishes
Our flight is nine on the dot, and we would arrive at the airport in London at 10:30 approximately, at their time, being six hours ahead of us. Bella was all jittery and grabbed her hand, leaning towards her.
" Everything is going to be perfect, I don't want you to worry. I will be by your side when we talk to your mother. Plus, they won't be here until tomorrow afternoon, okay?"
She nodded, " Okay, I love you. Thank you."
I pushed up the arm rest and took her in my arms, reclining my seat back so she could lie down on my chest. She sighed and closed her eyes. Bella had slept about five hours of the trip, eventually she curled into her own reclined seat, with a pillow from the flight attendant and a blanket that was folded in the suitcase that was in the storage above.
We spent a lot of time talking until the plane was going to land, I enjoyed her conversation, but I really wanted to keep her occupied to make all of those nerves she was dealing with calm down a bit. Grandpa Allen was picking us up as usual, he was always the one to come and get us. When the plane landed at ten thirty four, we grabbed our carry on suitcase, Bella got her purse and we headed into the airport. We had to go through security again, and then go to baggage claim and then we headed outside.
When I saw my grandfather, or technically Bella's, I smiled, and Bella did also, basically running towards him, he whispered something in her ear and she smiled sadly and nodded. All of our grandparents were amazing friends, and it was like Bella and I had six grandparents, we loved them with all of our hearts. He embraced us both, greeting us happily.
We loaded up the car and headed over to their house. He let us into the house, being extra quiet because Grandma Claire was sleeping, and it was pretty late so we didn't want to disturb her.
" Do you guys want tea or anything?"
It actually sounded nice, but I insisted he go upstairs to get some sleep. It was late and he had to get up early to pick up our parents from the airport. Bella and I put our things upstairs in our usual shared bedroom and we warmed up some tea in the kitchen.
" This time is so much different from last." she whispered.
" Yours or mine?"
" Both. Mine was...awful. And the one before that we were just all over the place."
" That kiss was amazing." I told her, leaning over to kiss her.
She smiled against my lips and pulled away.
Once we finished our tea we quiet went upstairs. Bella shut the door behind her softly, locking it with a flick of the wrist. She took her pants off and tossed them at my staring face. I caught the jeans before they hit me and she opened her back, putting on a pair of fleece pants, which were Christmas themed with snowmen on them and snowflakes. She tossed her shirt off and put on a fitted v-neck royal blue shirt. It was kind of tight, which is what I liked.
I pulled my shirt off, along with my pants and as I did. I could see Bella with her back to me, taking her bra off under the shirt. I never got how they did that, must be a women secret or something.
Fucking. Leopard.
I grabbed onto her and she squealed.
" You're one evil little monster."
She laughed and I wrestled her to the bed. It squeaked with our weight.
" I have to brush my teeth." she whined, stopping her struggle.
I got off of her and ran to the bathroom. Bella shoved at me and we finally settled in the bathroom after getting our toothbrushes out of our bag. Once we brushed Bella and I put our things away so we wouldn't have to do it in the morning.
Despite not being up for long, technically going to bed early for us, we settled well into the time change. Once we were done, Bella and I got into the bed, curling up together. She wrapped her arms around my waist, leaning her head against my neck, her lips gently pressing against my jugular vein.
" I love you." she whispered.
" You, too, beloved."
She trailed her kisses up my neck until reaching my lips. Bella kissed me firmly, and I pressed mine equally as firm to hers. I ran my hand up her back and sighed, pulling away and resting my forehead against hers.
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BPOV
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When I awoke the next morning I put on a sweatshirt, some clean socks, and headed downstairs for something to drink and eat. My stomach had been insistently growing and I didn't want to wake him from his sleep. Grandma Claire was sitting at the table when I got downstairs, and she smiled when she saw me. I got a cup of coffee for myself and sat down by her.
" How are you, sweetheart?"
" Good. How about you, I've missed you." I said, leaning over to hug her.
She sighed, " I've been worried about you, darling,"
Even though I don't talk to them too often, they did know about the pregnancy and the miscarriage. They had been informed from my father about the miscarriage, and I knew that he also talked to them during the pregnancy along with Carlisle and Esme.
They weren't pleased, I don't think anybody was, but they felt awful when I miscarried. Our whole family was all no sex before marriage, which was something they honestly believed in. But they knew that Edward and I were different, obviously.
" I'm okay. I mean...It was really hard in the beginning but Edward has...He's been absolutely wonderful, being here every step of the way, even if I lashed out." I said.
She rubbed my knee. " I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and, Edward. Both of you have gone through so much in your short lives."
" Tell me about it." I mumbled just as Grandpa Allen walked in, fully dressed in his day clothes and freshly showered. He'd probably been up for awhile; he was always the early riser.
" Sleep well?" he asked, rubbing my shoulder gently.
" I did, thank you."
" I could hear that boy talking in his sleep down the hall last night, that an often occurrence?"
" Usually he doesn't, maybe he had some weird dream or something." I said, wondering why he would have been talking.
He raised a bushy grey-ish brown eyebrow. " He seemed to be saying 'Bella', kind of loudly."
Grandma Claire gasped and looked at me, her brown eyes wide.
" What?" I exclaimed, entirely confused.
Then I thought about it. Them, hearing Edward saying my name loudly in the middle of the night. Why would they presume that I would do that, here of all places? I glared at both of them.
" Both of you are utterly cr-"
" Good morning, everyone. Sleep well?" Edward interrupted
They quieted and he cleared his throat, " Alright then."
He sat next to me and quickly kissed me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and he reached over and took a drink of my coffee.
" What did you dream about last night?" I asked him.
He paused, " Um, nothing...Why?"
" You apparently said my name frequently in your sleep."
Edward sighed, " Well, I apologize."
" I didn't hear it." I laughed.
His cheeks tinted pink just the slightest, and I let out a small laugh. Grandma Claire made us bacon and hash browns for breakfast, and then we headed upstairs to shower. Grandpa Allen headed to the airport to get our parents, and I was getting more nervous as moments passed.
Since Grandma Claire went to the grocery store to grab a few last minute things for tonight and tomorrow's meal, Edward and I just hopped in the shower together. We washed up and Edward got out first and I shaved my legs nice and smooth. Once I finished I wrapped a towel around me and Edward was shaving his face of all the stubble that had appeared over the past few days.
I put on a pair of black fitted skinny jeans and a deep purple v-neck sweater, with a grey tank top underneath. I put on my lacey pumps that Edward loved so much. He finished dressing in the bedroom and I fixed up my hair, blow drying it and then curling it in big thick curls.
After a little bit of eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and a little bit of powder, I spritzed on a bit of perfume and stepped out of the bathroom. Edward was lacing his shoes up and when he looked at me, he groaned.
" Hello, beautiful."
I walked over to him and he sat me in his lap, kissing my lips softly. I leaned against his chest and he braided our fingers together, resting them on my stomach. We sat for awhile until we headed back downstairs and went into the living room, putting on some Doctor Who to entertain us.
" So, what did I tell you. You found many places to wear those shoes."
I smiled, " Okay, this time you win."
" What's my prize?"
" Me."
He laughed, " Sounds good."
When I heard the front door open, my heart started to race. I heard Esme's loud excited voice, and my father talking with my grandfather, and then my grandma Claire basically showering Carlisle with kisses. She adored Carlisle almost as much as her own son.
I could hear all the other grandparents here as well.
Edward kept me in his lap and I heard people shuffle upstairs, besides Esme who came directly to us to give out hugs.
" Oh, my darlings. How are you, my baby? How about you, Bella?" she asked, kissing Edward's forehead and mine.
" We're doing alright, mom." Edward answered for us.
She looked at me and I nodded, giving her a small smile. Esme plopped right on the other side of Edward, wrapping her arms around her son and holding him to her. He rolled his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder.
" Mom..."
" Shush, I miss you. You're my only baby."
" I know..."
" Bells?" I heard my dad say.
I looked up quickly and saw my dad. I hadn't actually seen him since the miscarriage and the hospital. I had been in a lot of pain then, and I mostly was cuddled up by Edward not wanting to let him go. Quickly I stood and wrapped my arms around him; he ran his hands over my back, gently rubbing in circles.
" How are you doing, kid?"
" I'm doing okay. How are you?" I mumbled against his arm.
" Fine, fine. How's school."
" Alright, I really missed you, dad."
" Missed you, too, Bells."
He pulled away and shook Edward's hand, nodding at him. I sat back down on the couch, curling into Edward's warm embrace, feeling Esme next to him, cuddling in. Edward kissed my temple, and Esme patted his shoulder, standing.
" Where's...Mom?" I asked slowly.
" Right here." I heard her say herself.
She came into the room, looking very hesitant, almost scared."
" Hello, Isabella."
I sighed. " Hi."
I didn't know what to think. I don't know if I should be mad by the fact that she put me under stress. That she just left while I was in the hospital, never calling or trying to talk to me, just ignoring me as if I'd never existed.
" All you have to say?"
" Is that all YOU have to say."
I felt Edward grip my hand.
" Like?"
" Like why you left me while I was in the hospital after having surgery to deliver my dead son." I said, my voice breaking at the end.
Everyone was quiet for a long moment.
" Renee Elizabeth Swan, how could you do that to your daughter!" Granny Liz outraged.
" How about we head upstairs and settle in and let them talk."
All of our grandparents headed upstairs and Carlisle sat next to me, taking my hand to try and comfort me. My father sat next to my mother on the opposite couch that was on the other side of the coffee table.
" I don't know what to say." she mother uttered.
" Do you know how it was those weeks after losing our baby? Do you have any idea what it felt like to have to put pieces of our life back together." Edward seethed.
" Dad...He called me every single day to talk to me, even if I didn't even barely talk. He still called."
" I didn't know what to say!"
" Do you not know what to say? Or is it that you are so embarrassed and ashamed to have put so much pressure on your daughter, that you feel guilty that all of the stress made her miscarry? I don't think for a minute you wanted her to lose the baby, but you knew what you were doing to her."
" You're both so young. Losing that baby couldn't have been awfully too hard."
My breathing hitched. " NOT AWFULLY TOO HARD." I screamed, feeling my anger welling over.
As I went to stand up both Carlisle and Edward held me back down on the couch.
" I spent weeks thinking that it was my fucking fault! That I killed him because I wasn't strong enough to handle all of your bullshit! And it was YOU. YOU pushed me over the edge and made it happen! YOU KILLED HIM; YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME!"
Suddenly Edward grabbed onto me, quickly ushering me out of the room. He sat me in one of the dining room chairs and I cried into my hands, feeling my heart breaking into pieces again. Edward wretched my hands away from my face and kneeled in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly and holding me close to him
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EPOV
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I was torn between ripping Renee's head off, and leaving with Bella.
Her heart-wrenching sobs were tearing me inside out. I gripped her tightly. I saw Esme come into the room, walking over to us and resting her hands on Bella's back, trying to soothe her and help me out.
" Bella, Bella, shhh. It's okay, come on, take a deep breath, calm down." I whispered repeatedly in her ear.
Slowly her sobs turned into just crying, and into sniffling, that then in turn was just quietness. Esme grabbed a hair tie that was on Bella's wrist and pulled her hair out of her face. Bella clung tighter to me, shaking slightly in my arms.
I leaned back with her in my arms, leaning against the wall and keeping her in my arms. I didn't know what to do now, try to rectify this awful mess, have them both sit down and calmly talk about it. I wonder how Renee felt hearing Bella say all of that, if anything registered in her head.
" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for screaming." Bella whimpered.
" Don't apologize, you needed to get it out." I responded, rubbing her back and kissing her temple.
" Edward, I don't...Can I just go upstairs. I can't look at her again right now. I don't want to talk to her." Bella said.
" Yes, of course, my love. How about you go upstairs, I'll be right there."
She nodded and we stood, while she headed upstairs, I went into the living room. Everyone was really frozen, just not knowing what to say. I looked at Renee.
" Bella has been holding in all she has wanted to say. You apparently don't know what to say, not even an apology about how much stress you put her under? Well, unless you have something plausible to say just...let it be." I said, turning on my heal to head back upstairs.
When I got upstairs, Bella was sitting at the end of the bed, her eyes red rimmed and bloodshot.
" I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of feeling this way. That everything is just not enough for her as I get older. I mean, no parent wants their child to be a young mother, but I never meant for it to happen. And I never wanted the outcome, I didn't want THIS." she paused for a moment, continuing, " All I've ever wanted was to make my parents proud, and I wanted to go to New York to show them I could stand on my own feet, that they could trust me to be in a different state with my boyfriend and know everything was going as planned."
" Fuck planning, Bella!" I basically yelled, " I don't care how they want it. It doesn't matter to me, what a matter to me is that your mother's actions are hurting you. I don't care that they don't like what happened, because...Sex before marriage is their thing, not ours. I wouldn't give up that part of our relationship for the world because I want to show you how much I love you, and want you. And I don't regret you getting pregnant; I regret that we weren't able to stop the outcome."
She sat on the bed, watching me carefully as if I were a ticking bomb.
" I know..." she whispered.
" And you all can stop hiding behind that damn door and listening in." I added, knowing they were there.
The bedroom door opened and they kind of just stood there, looking at us in surprise. Bella stood up, sighing and looking at the people listening in. Everyone, including Renee, was standing there.
" So you hear that? We started to have fucking sex, and it ended with this, and you know what? I am not ashamed to say that we are together like that. So...whatever."
" Edward!"
" What? Oh my god, you already know what it takes to create a baby, and obviously we did the deed to make it happen. I'm honestly not ashamed. And I don't expect any of you to accept it, but we live in the twenty first century."
" It doesn't matter what era it is, you nutter! Before marriage, neither of you should do anything further then a snog, anything more shouldn't be condoned."
" Mom, they love each other. It's not awful." Esme gently told her mother.
" You're their parents, you should have been watching them closely."
" Yes, mom, very easy with them in different states and hundreds of miles away." she retorted.
" You know what, it doesn't make a difference anymore." Bella stated. " What has already happened has happened. We can't reverse it, and that's the end of it. We aren't proud of what occurred, but that doesn't mean we regret it. Edward is right. We are adults; we can make our own decisions now. We live away from home, we pay our own bills and we support each other. We take care of each other and it's not going to change. All of you made a choice when you were our age, maybe younger. And that was your choice to wait, and it was a choice that all of you here have made. We are our own people, and we make our own choices, and we made an adult choice to do what we have done. We don't want to hurt anybody by it, but its how it is, and we won't apologize. We love each other."
I sat next to Bella and wrapped my arm around her waist, she leaned into me and I saw Renee step into the room.
" I think I need to have a talk with my daughter." Renee said, looking at me, " Alone."
Bella looked over at me, and I gripped her waist tighter.
" Alright. How about you guys go downstairs?"
" Bella, alone."
" Mom, I think us three need to talk about this. It wasn't just me going through all of this."
Everyone else left, shutting the door behind them. I looked over at Bella, kissing her forehead softly and letting her go. She stared up at me, confused.
" Talk to your mother. I'll be downstairs."
" But, Ed-"
" It's fine." I said quietly, kissing her forehead once again, letting it linger on her skin.
She nodded and took a deep breath, I walked away from her and opened the door, closing it behind me and heading downstairs, waiting for the conversation to be over so that I could talk to Bella about what Renee had said about everything.
'Sorry' wasn't going to cut it, and I trusted in Bella to get real answers out of everything. She's always been a smart girl. I went into the living room, where I'd been moments ago, and sat on the couch, leaning back and letting out a deep breath.
" It'll be okay, sweetheart." Mom said, wrapping her arm around me.
" Yeah, I hope so."
Authors Note- Alright, next chapter we are getting down to the nitty and gritty.
The story is coming to a close soon, as much as I can't stand having to do that. The story means so much to me, but eventually they have to come to an end.
For people who know me, I do not end it on a weird number. So it's probably going to end at 60 if I can drag it out, either that or I will wrap it up around chapter 55, which is probably more plausible. The chapters will probably become more...hearty? Yeah, hearty, that works.
Anyways, I am so thankful for all of your reviews, I appreciate every single one of them.
Review!