Authors Note- Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it. I hope all of you are having an absolutely wonderful holiday.

Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all thing Twilight.

BPOV

I was nervous.

Any normal person, in my opinion, would be nervous. This wasn't something I wanted to face, but I had to. I did want answers, I honestly did, but at the same time I was dreading the oncoming conversation.

I was sitting at the end of the bed, and she was looking at me, taking deep breaths but not looking all too angry. I was surprised that she was shockingly calm about this right now, especially after my outburst downstairs, that lead me to have to be physically removed from the situation. I was surprised that I let myself get so out of control, usually I always have my emotions balanced out, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt awful for just blaming everything on her, but it was still wrong to do that. I knew it.

I wished that Edward was here, but I knew that talking one on one with my mother would probably be best when addressing the situation first hand. I wasn't the only one affected by the situation, this hurt Edward, too. When he wanted to speak his peace about what happened, that would be on his time, and when he felt he needed to have it said, but for right now it just needed to be my mother and I. Both of us getting out what we'd kept in this entire span of not talking.

There was things that she probably had to say, and I had a lot to say too. There are things that I wanted to get out of my system, things that she needed to know that she maybe even wasn't aware of, but I wasn't going to bury things down anymore.

I'd had enough of that, and if we were going to talk I was going to get it out right now so it wouldn't have to be hashed out again some other time.

For a long moment she was quiet, but soon she sat down in a chair near the dresser and started out.

" First off, Isabella. You don't know how much I regret leaving you at the hospital. At the time, I hadn't realized how harsh I was being towards you, and I never took in consideration how you could have been feeling about it."

" You're my mother, how could I not care about what you say?"

" I never wanted you and Edward to go through what you did. I actually never wanted you both to engage in the act that would cause you to be in that kind of situation. I know that you both have your own opinions, I won't get into that right now, it's your choice. And after the first time, I really had no control afterwards. You both went off to New York, there wasn't much to do after that."

" But, Isabella. We trusted you to be careful, trusted that you both would be fine away from home, and you would be responsible. Your father and I wanted you both to stay in Chicago, or at least one of you. We couldn't have kept an eye on you there, and which is the reason why I asked you where you were at night. You are still my daughter, Isabella. I raised you. Don't think that just because you put a roof over your head, that doesn't mean you aren't our little girl anymore. It's ever since you graduated you don't need us anymore. When you call, it's like you dont really want to talk, or your annoyed with us."

I realized at that moment that I'd been wrong to do that also.

I did get annoyed when my mom called, asking me questions.

She wasn't an awful mother.

" Isabella, I was upset that you were pregnant because I tried my hardest to make sure you were being careful. I asked you questions to try and make you realize that you do have to be extra careful, and when I found out, I was angry. I was angry because even though I told you time and time again, it still happened. It made me feel like you ignored me because I was just an object far away. Sweetheart, I know you love your father and I, but we...I wasn't the only one who went wrong."

I covered my face with my hands and let out all the tears that wanted to spill over.

" I am not trying to make you cry, I don't want you upset."

" Yo-You're ri-right. I sh-should have car-cared m-more."

" Look at me, sweetheart."

I looked up at her, wiping my tears.

" I love you, you're my daughter and I always will love you. I never wanted you to lose your baby, never would I wish that upon you. Now, I am not turning this on you, but when I try to talk to you about something important; I need you to listen. I only want what is best for you, that's all."

Before saying anything else I stood up and met my mom in a hug, holding tightly onto her and squeezing her tight.

" I really needed you."

" I know, and I'm so sorry." she whispered, smoothing my hair back.

When she released me, I sat back down ont the bed and she was next to me.

" When I got back to Chicago after I left that summer, I didn't expect for Edward and I to do anything. He hadn't made a decision; he made it when I got there. We...It was just like months of not seeing each other and mixed with the sudden want. Mom, we hadn't done anything for months afterwards. We both knew that it was a step too far and we wanted to take it back to just explore a relationship. I was okay with that."

She nodded, squeezing my hand.

" And then in February, we kind of just started up again. We were careful as we could be, thinking that the birth control would be okay for most of the time. When I was pregnant...I swear it was...I didn't want a baby. I had this plan all mapped out in my head and it was just ruined and I didn't know what to do. And when you were so angry at me I just...I couldn't handle it anymore. From the move into the apartment, and Edward working a lot, and me working less. I felt alone. He was great though, Edward did everything he could, trying to keep me in high spirits."

"I felt so empty when I woke up after that surgery. I felt like something had been taken out of my body, like someone ripped out a limb and just let the space empty. Edward put me back together, he did everything for me. He's always been that best friend, no matter what. We didn't blur the lines together, he's still the same person, but he loves me."

" I know that he's always loved you in some way. No matter what girl was on his arm, you were the one that kept him as he was, grounded him. You kept him in line."

I nodded and wiped my tears. " I wasn't ready for a baby, but I would have loved him so much. Edward...I just can't get over the look of devastation when he told me that we lost him." I gasped out, wiping my tears and trying to calm myself. " I felt like we didn't even get a chance to try, but at the same time that it was a sign it wasn't meant to be."

She grabbed a tissue from the box on the end table and gave it to me, letting me wipe my tears.

" I know I can't make up for lost time, but I want you to know how sorry I am, sweetheart. When my anger got the best of me I lashed out at you, and it never helped the already hard situation, and I never meant to put all of that stress on you. I know I was wrong for it, and my mistakes made you pay in the end, and Edward also."

She'd always been my mother, and tried to be there for me the best she could without completely hovering over me, and I appreciated that. When I was getting older, she let me be a teenager and have my own space, she was patient with me when I argued, even when I knew she wanted to just burst out screaming at me.

I'd always been a good kid, but even good kids can do wrong, and my mother was a damn good one. It didn't matter what happened in the past, nothing could be done to change it. Crying and lashing out wouldn't make our son come back.

" I don't want us to not talk, mom."

" I don't either."

" I just...Can we just put this behind us. I don't want to be dwelling on this, or having to deal with this the entire holiday. I want us to be a family, like we always have been."

We embraced one last hug before wiping our tears and walking downstairs together.

Edward was all antsy sitting on the couch, and when he saw me he immediately sprung up and came to me. My mom turned to him.

" Edward, I apologize for how I've acted towards you, and what my actions have caused here."

" I forgive you. I'd just like to move on from this fiasco." Edward stated, giving her a quick hug before wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into his lean form, kissing his chest over his shirt.

" I love you." he murmured.

" You, too. So much."

My mother passed us a smile before heading off into the living room. Edward led me towards the piano room, and once we reached it he sat down in the small lounger by the piano. I sat down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

" You alright?"

" Yeah, just...Trying to process everything. It's been so hard these past few months, and getting it all out was just...a breath of fresh air. I'm tired of keeping everything in, especially those strong emotions."

Edward nodded in understanding.

" She's my mother, of course I forgive her. But she made me understand her reactions more. I was wrong for acting the way I did on the phone with her, she was only trying to make sure we were being safe, and not getting into any uncomfortable positions, and she said that when she found out I was pregnant she snapped. It was because she tried so hard to help me prevent it, but I never gave her the time of day. She really put it into perspective, I never realized that I did that to her. I was oblivious."

" I don't want to dwell on this. I want to be with my family, and be okay. When we get married, and actually try for kids, I don't want to worry that this will happen again. What I want is for everything to be normal again. I won't forget our son, or anything that happened, but I want to move on. I want us to be happy, be young and not try and act so much like adults. I want us to to be how we used to, just having fun and enjoying life as it is. Before things got complicated and everything."

Edward nodded, " I want that, too, my love."

He turned his head to face me, kissing me softly once on the lips before firmly pressing them to mine, kissing me deeply. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. He licked my bottom lip, slithering his tongue into my mouth and slanting his mouth over mine. I sat up and moved over him, wrapping my body around him tightly and holding him close.

" We're making out in my grandparents house." I moaned.

" I could take you upstairs and do worse."

" Tempting." I purred

Edward pinched my side and I squealed, shoving his shoulder and moving over to the piano.

When the piano from my Birthday arrived, I'd taken to playing it a lot over the past few weeks. Edward heard alot of different material ringing out around the house, but he never complained about it. In fact, he encouraged me to play all the time.

I sat down on the bench, and Edward walked towards me.

" You know, I might have a piano fantasy."

I gave him a skeptical look.

" Oh, yeah?"

" Mhm. It involves you, my beautiful girl, and that piano back in our apartment."

" Never. I will not defile my piano, or any other one for that matter. Save it for another girl."

He chuckled and grabbed my hands, lifting me up off the bench. I wrapped my arms around his neck, chastely kissing his lips before pulling away. He set me down on the floor and opened up the door, letting us out of the room.

When we got to the kitchen the grandmothers, Esme and Renee were in the kitchen. I attempted to jump in, but they said to go away and have fun with the boys. Edward whisked me through the doorway towards the living room, and suddenly we were yelled at to stop.

Both of us stood in the doorway, looking towards them with confused expressions.

" Look up." Esme stated, continuing her chopping of the potatoes.

Edward and I looked up and saw the little hanging mistletoe. He suddenly picked me up in his arms and planted a huge kiss on my lips, making a show of it and moaning. Once he set me down I was dizzy and stumbled into the door frame.

They all laughed at me and Edward led me to the living room, sitting down on the big plush armchair, with me sitting in his lap. I sat sideways in his lap, my legs hanging over the arm chair and my side against Edward's chest. His arms loosely wrapped around me, and I had my head on his shoulder.

" This is definitely a different view." Grandpa Edward stated.

" Agreed, look at 'em. Those nutters are all wrapped around each other like a pretzel." Grandpa Allen agreed.

I rolled my eyes at them, snuggling right into Edward as he held me close.

At some point I was sure that I dozed off because I felt Edward moving me around to lay on the couch a little while after. I hadn't been completely asleep, but I'd been really close and the feeling of warmth being gone surprised me. When he laid me down, I opened my eyes.

" Where are you going?"

" The washroom. I'll be right back."

After he came back, we laid some more on the couch until we were called to help finish up dinner and set up the table. After the plates and silver wear were set down, I started putting forks, spoons or whatever needed utensil in the food to help serve, and put it on the table. My father carved the small turkey we had, and Grandma Giada took her homemade lasagna out of the oven.

When everything was finished, the table was filled with food and we all sat down. Granny Liz and Grandpa Carlisle said grace together, basically having the words rehearsed out together in unison. Grandma Claire had a two steak and kidney pies, and I jumped right at a piece to eat, piling my plate on with food. Turkey, lasagna, steak and kidney pie, green beans, asparagus, mashed potatoes and cranberries were piled onto my plate. Edward's was even more full if that was possible, but he somehow had everything not touching each other.

Yes, he was one of those people that couldn't stand his food touching mostly depending on meal. If it was a sirloin tip roast, and it touched his mashed potatoes, he didn't care, but if any of the gravy got on it, it was ruined

" Mmmm." Edward moaned into his fork that was full of lasagna.

" Esme, how did you ever afford to feed that boy?"

" I honestly do not know."

I rubbed Edward's knee and dug into the turkey first, then the mashed potatoes. Everything was delicious, as it always was. I knew how to cook, and Edward was alright at it, but nothing could compare to the actual meal that our grandparents and parents made.

Sitting around the table, being home, it felt nice. I felt like something was actually right this year.

There was no secret loves, heartbreak or anything hidden. We were just us; family. And nothing could be ruined.

December 29

Christmas seemed to have come and gone very quickly, and I almost felt like we barely had any time in London. Edward and I said that we would find a way to visit in the summer, and stay with them for two weeks.

When we got back home to Chicago, we had settled in at home.

Although, that had been different for me. Apparently, my room was not...as is. My mother had been using it for work and my bed had been stored somewhere else. My parents felt awful, they honestly did. They forgot about holidays, and therefore, I was now staying in Edward's room, not wanting to sleep on the lumpy couch in the family room.

So basically, it was like we were back in the apartment, but with parents around.

I'll be the first one to admit it, it was kind of annoying having them check on us at night. Edward and I weren't going to have sex with his parents around the house, but a lot of the time getting back we weren't alone.

We spent a lot of time with the group, going out to lunch, the mall and generally just spending some good time with each other. I really missed all of them. Alice and her hyper-ness, Jasper's calm aura. Emmett and his booming laughter, and even Rosalie. Although I could admit that our relationship probably wouldn't ever be the same after all that has happened.

Alice, Rosalie and I spent most of the time with each other, talking about the wedding, discussing flowers, food and other wedding randomness. They were being married on July 11th.

Their wedding colors were white, and a light blue, with gold accents. They really worked together really well with the tables clothes, napkins and chair covers. It really was going to be a nice, elegant, outdoor wedding that was being held in Jasper's backyard. It was nice and spacey, and his parents were ecstatic to have it there.

Only today had we spent the entire day in the store, Alice trying on wedding dress after wedding dress until she completely fell head over heels with an Alvina Valenta dress. It's a mermaid style dress, with so much fine detail in it I couldn't believe it was possible. The dress is satin, and a very pristine, clean white. It had a slight v-neck, with thin spaghetti straps and a small sash across the waist with a flower.

It was very Alice, and the moment I saw her face light up, I think we all knew that it was it for her.

After having her measured out, and paying for the dress, Rosalie, Alice, Alice's mother Karen and I walked out of the store and headed out for lunch at Panera, and then I was dragged into going shopping at the mall with them. I honestly went to appease Alice, she was having a great day, I didn't want to ruin that for her.

Edward texted me repeatedly, telling me the tortures of getting fitted for a suit. Apparently the seamstress grazed his area, and he was not pleased with that at all, to the point of jerking away and getting poked a pin in his thigh. He bled, to which Emmett, Jasper and Jaspers dad, Victor all laughed at him for. He didn't like being groped apparently.

When we were finally done with the shopping, I headed home, telling Alice I would see her tomorrow at the party she was throwing for New Years, and leaving. I picked up a coffee and headed to the Cullen's. I dropped by my house for a few minutes to drink my coffee and talk with my parents before going to the Cullen's to get some sleep.

Upon getting to Edward's room, I opened the door and was almost laughing at the sight in front of me.

Edward was sprawled spread eagle on the bed, laying on his stomach with his face turned to the side, the sound of his snoring filling the air. He only snored when he had a long day and was exhausted.

His black t-shirt went up mid-back and was all weird and sideways. It looked like he somewhat got his pants off, but they were just below his ass, and his boxers were very visible. At least he wasn't one of those guys with the superman boxers, or something weird. They were his silk/satin black boxers. His one shoe was off, and the other was just hanging off his foot. I noticed his jacket also hanging off one arm.

I put my bag down, taking off my jacket and putting my things away. Once I had my coat hung, shoes put away, and I'd brushed my teeth and used the washroom, I went to the bed, still in my clothes.

" Edward, come on, love." I whispered, kissing his temple.

He let out a quiet groan, the snoring coming to a complete stop. I grabbed his shoes and put them away. Next I got his jacket off and then he turned over, letting me take off his pants. He sat up to take his shirt off, and I will admit I ogled him a bit, but I quickly got off the bed and changed my clothes, putting on a pair of fleece pants and a t-shirt.

Once I was finished I got into bed, curling into Edward's side. The feeling of his bare skin under my hands felt amazing. I wrapped my arms around him, and he shifted around until he was curled all around me.

" You didn't get me a fresh shirt."

" Why do you need one?"

" Winter. Cold."

" You have me. Your own personal space heater."

He chuckled quietly before pealing himself away from me. I heard the open and closing of drawers and shuffling around before Edward was back in bed, filling the space. I noticed he'd not only put on a white t-shirt, but a pair of flannel pants, too. He laid on his back and pulled me ontop of him, letting me lay my arms close to his neck, almost bent around the sides of his neck. He grabbed onto my waist, sighing against the top of my head.

" Love you, night."

" You, too."

The feeling of Edward's warm body on mine made me want to lay in bed forever. I loved the feeling of being completely tangled around him. He was always so comfortable to lay with.

As I took a deep breath, I suddenly got a huge whiff of coffee. I pressed myself closer to Edward, but the smell was just wafting all around me, taunting me. It was something caramel, and it smelled absolutely delectable. I felt Edward move over me, wrapping his body around mine.

" I know one of you smells the coffee!"

Alice.

" Esme has breakfast downstairs, she invited all of us over this morning!"

" Remind me to talk to my mother about that."

She laughed loudly and I sat up, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Edward sat up also, leaning against me with his chin on my shoulder. He blinked tiredly, yawning and ruffling his hair.

Once we were pried out of bed by Alice, we went downstairs and got some coffee, sitting at the table half dead. Edward perked up real quick when a plate of food was set in front of him. I rolled my eyes at him and thanked Esme when she had a plate ready for me.

There was cinnamon rice, scrambled eggs, toast and bacon piled onto the plate very generously. Alice was chattering on and on about the wedding, and Jasper was also. I've never seen them so happy before. I was happy that they were getting their happily ever after. Both of them deserved it.

Rosalie and Emmett hadn't really even mentioned a word of getting married. Which was surprising. Out of all of us, I would have thought they would be first. It was just something I always thought would be.

" So, what about you two?" Alice said, winking at me.

" What do you mean?" Edward asked

" Tying the knot? I mean, come on. If anything I thought when you first got together you were going to run off to Vegas and have a drive through wedding wearing t-shirts and jeans."

" Oh, yeah?"

" Definitely. Bella over here was already head over heels in love when you both got together."

" We'll get married when we feel it's right. Right now I mean...I know that I want to accomplish a bit more before getting married and settling down with kids."

" So you both are like, completely just it for each other?" Rosalie asked bluntly.

Edward laughed, " Of course she is. I couldn't imagine anybody else taking the place of Bella."

He looked at me and I smiled, " Yeah, he was it for me when I was like sixteen. I hoped eventually he'd be mine." I said, watching as he leaned forward to kiss the corner of my mouth.

" What does that mean?" Rosalie asked.

Here we go.

" What does what mean?"

" That you were hoping eventually he'd be yours."

" Well, I did."

" Tanya breakup something planned?"

" Rosalie. Don't bring that up." Jasper stated.

" I had nothing to do with that. I was never in the way, if anything I was pushed aside."

Edward kissed my free hand, holding it against his face.

" I'd beg to differ after what you just said."

" Look, if Tanya made him happy, I would be happy for him. I'd appreciate if you would just drop it. You're looking for a fight, and I am not going to give one to you."

" If you planning on ruining the morning, it's working. So cut it the fuck out." Edward stated.

She said nothing and the table was suddenly quiet. Leave it to Rosalie to make all of this weird and awkward.

" So, Edward, Bella. We have to color coordinate Bella's dress with Edward's tie. That cool for you guys?"

I smiled and shook my head at Alice.

Leave it to her to break the awkwardness.

Authors Note- Things are going to progress from here. We have the wedding, and some other things coming up.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, or are still having one. I love you all for being so patient with me, so thanks so much for that!

Review!