Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

Thank you everyone for your nice reviews; and most importantly, VOTES. I am sensing some serious Umbridge hating here… Well, this time, please vote for who you want out of the competition next chapter, as well as two celebrities, one boy, one girl, to perform in the next trial.

Here's a reminder of all the celebrities:

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Luna Lovegood

Dolores Umbridge

Lavender Brown

Nymphadora Tonks

Seamus Finnigan

Neville Longbottom

Petunia Dursley

Sybill Trelawney

Victor Krum

Vernon Dursley

Chapter 3

"Hello girls," said one George Weasley, looking at camp Hermy. The girls had been in the camp for two hours now, and as they only had one waterfa-, erm, shower, between them, there were still some of them walking around in bikinis waiting for their turn after the first trial.

Lavender shrieked, and threw a shoe at him, which he neatly dodged.

"Ah, ah, ah! That isn't any way to treat someone who's bringing you news." He admonished playfully, wagging one finger at her.

Then the tables turned as all the other women came around him to listen, including one Dolores Umbridge who had just finished showering, and was wearing a pink bikini with cats one it.

George doubled over in pain.

"My eyes," he howled, "my poor eyes!"

"Grow up," said Tonks besides him, "Stop fooling around, and tell us the news."

"Fine," he finally grumbled, "Take all the fun out of it."

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him. George ignored it and continued.

"In fifteen minutes, the first live trial will begin, and the wizarding public has voted. That means that the cameras are rolling live right now, to watch all of your reactions to the news. I can tell you which one of you has been selected for the challenge."

" Lavender… it's not you.

Sybill…it's not you.

Luna…it might be you.

Petunia…it's not you.

Tonks…it's not you.

Dolores…it's not you."

"Really boy," said Umbridge, "you do not have my permission to call me by my Christian name. You may call me ma'am or Madame Umbridge."

"I'm so sorry, Ma'am." Said George sweetly, batting his eyelids. "I was about to up the suspense, but now I'll just tell you that the public have voted for you, ma'am. Please hand me your wand, and I'll lead you to it."

"My wand? What do you mean my wand, you insolent brat?"

"Didn't you read the contract before you signed it? Tsk, tsk, Madame Umbridge. All contestants are required to give up their wands for the trials. Such a pity that you didn't read the magical binding contract before you signed it." Said George, in a voice that clearly indicated that it wasn't, and in fact that he was utterly enjoying this.

You could hear Umbridge's screams from the other side of the jungle.

Victor Krum wasn't quite sure why he was here, in Australia; on a game show that he frankly didn't have any idea what it was about.

A tiny voice in his subconscious whispered about brown hair, and a beautiful smile, and a wonderful intellect… But, as ever, Victor ignored it. She, who he wasn't thinking about, thank you very much, was married, and if the fact that she would be working on the set this year on the show tipped his decision to join, well, it was just to see an old friend.

Luckily for him, and his denial, Fred chose that moment to appear and declare that he had an announcement.

"And so, the contestant to take part in the first live trial, is," said Fred, and then paused, long enough for millions of hooked viewers around Britain to shake their wands at him, and yell at him to get in with it.

"Draco!"

What!

"There has to be some mistake Weasley!" he practically screamed.

"Sorry Draco," he smirked, "now if you could hand me your wand?"

Ten minutes later, two sullen, wandless people and two very cheerful presenters made their way to the clearing where the first trial would begin.

"Good afternoon ladies, gentlemen and Fudge. Today, the celebrities that you have chosen via owl are now going to compete in the first Bushtucker trial of this series! They will compete against each other to win stars that represent meals for either camp Hermy or Sevvy."

Fred stopped there, and George continued.

"The two of you will be competing in the Quaffle Trial. In these two barrels-" He gestured to two large, innocent looking barrels besides him, "there are six hidden barrels for camp Hermy, and seven for camp Sevvy. You have two minutes to find them all by digging through the barrels."

Fred took up the speech again.

"You can stop anytime you want by saying, 'I'm a slimy git…get me out of here!', but them you're camp won't have anything to eat apart from rice and beans, and you'll probably get lynched. Do you two accept? "

Draco gave a short nod, and Umbridge merely hmph-ed. Fred and George took this as a consent, and they stepped back.

Severus and Hermione stepped on.

"Now them Draco," Severus drawled, "You will take these goggles, and you will put them on to protect your eyes from the insects."

"Insects?" Draco squeaked.

Next to Umbridge, Hermione shoved the goggles at Umbridge without talking, and then stalked off. After another second of reassuring Draco, Severus followed her.

"Wasn't that a little cruel?" he murmured to her softly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Replied Hermione primly. Severus just shrugged, and went back to watching the show. This was going to be good.

"Ready? Go!"

With those words, Draco started to shovel through the spiders and and fire ants that filled the barrel, ignoring them biting him as he tried to find the quaffles. He was a Slytherin. He was going get all the stars, and show Potter who was the boss. It was goo that Severus had put things in perspective for him.

Umbrige was having the worst time of her life. As soon as she had looked in the barrel, she had known that she didn't want to do this. Worst of all, the smug brats behind her were giggling and whispering jokes to one another.

She poked one finger into the barrel, and leaned over it, only to draw back on horror as her goggles fell off into the barrel, and the fire ants immediately made for her face.

"It's very surprising that you didn't make it into Slytherin, Miss Granger." Said Severus, watching in glee as Umbridge shrieked and tried to bat the ants off her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," replied Hermione primly.

"And, time is up!"

Fred regretfully sent a spell towards the ants that forced them to return to the barrel. He didn't want Umbridge to kill them all, after all.

Draco stood by his barrel, absolutely filthy with squashed ants and spiders, and holding 5 quaffles in his hands. All Umbridge had was a puffy face, where the fire ants had bitten her.

Severus Snape came over, and waved his wand over her face.

"Oh dear Madame." He said silkily, "I'm afraid that the ant venom is going to be highly painful exiting you wounds."

Hermione stayed and looked at Umbridge as she walked away. Maybe dosing her goggles with a potion to attract bugs had been a little mean? Nah.

"Thank you very much for watching! Please send in your votes for who you want to leave the jungle for good, as well as the names of the two celebrities that you want to torture tomorrow." Said George.

"You should be able to find the owls at post offices near you, and votes only cost one sickle, so vote!" finished Fred.

"Goodbye, and see you next time!"

"We don't have any food tonight." Umbridge announced with difficulty, the venom in her face already beginning to seep out thanks to Severus' spell.

Tonks leaned over to Luna and said:

"You know? I don't care. I hope that Umbridge gets the next trial. I could get used to this."

Luna smiled back at her.

"Don't worry," she said in her dreamy voice, "the nargles won't leave her alone now they have her scent."