Authors Notes: The 4th Chapter is here!
I know it's been asked of "Where is the angst?" and I count angst in stories as the following – 1) character 1 really can't have character 2 thus the "abuse" begins and 2) so much self doubt, so much fear that it consumes the characters. When I have angst in my stories it comes in one/both forms. I'll just leave how and where to you. I don't plan for this story to be deep angst but who knows, it could change because this story is just having a life of its own. When I label a story to have angst it means there will at least be a little but speaking of angst... *points to the story below*
I am about halfway through writing the first part of this chapter and I actually find it very difficult because of how these characters are. It could very easily take a turn for the very worse or it could play out so wonderfully. I don't want those extremes. I am trying for something in between…so forgive me if I don't get it just right. I can already tell there will be lots of editing in this chapter hehe.
It made me so happy to read that everyone LIKED the idea of Yumi having a very refined "Sports Physique"! Dear readers you have given me faith and I am very happy it was so well received. I hope the other parts of their Universe I plan on bending will also be good Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement and well wishes! It makes me WANT to write and write our favorite pair WELL. *bows formally with a smile* Thanks all of you!
Oh and a lot of comments about Yuki, let me explain. I adore Yuki and in different seasons he has shown his care and devotion to his sister. I wanted that in this story because he is a very sweet character. So expect to see him probably a bit more
Thoughts by the characters are italicized and between two of these * little guys.
0o0o0
I don't own any of the characters, I wish I did because they are amazing, but a girl can dream XD
Yumi closed her eyes for the millionth time trying to fall asleep. It had been like this most nights over the last year but tonight she couldn't sleep for a different reason. With a resigned sigh she sat up in her brothers bed and hugged her extra pillow, moving the curtains a bit to let the moonlight in. She wasn't afraid of the dark but the moonlight and stars were a form of comfort when her mind was troubled.
*Onee-sama didn't say a word.*
Sachiko had seen Yumi in a way that she hadn't been ready for, had seen her in a way that she REALLY wasn't ready for. Yumi wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing for the topic never being talked about while they ate dinner after Yumi had showered and changed.
"Yumi, when you are ready I will listen, I will always listen."
She clutched her extra pillow tighter while her eyes moved to the closed door that separated her from her Onee-sama.
*How can I tell her why I started working out?
How can I tell her why I keep working out?*
Just through that door was something so wonderful to her, something that had consumed her so entirely, that she spent most of her waking time telling herself to forget and her sleeping time giving in to her heart. Pain coursed itself through her chest as she grabbed at herself with both hands to try to ease her torn heart.
*Why?
Why does it have to hurt so much?*
Tears came to her eyes at her thoughts. Yes. Yes she loved her Onee-sama in ways that she shouldn't, she needed her in ways that she shouldn't, and if she ever let that slip…
A shudder went through her body at the thought of the sleeping woman in the next room not being in her life at all. The idea of it hurt and frightened the younger girl; it made her already painful chest feel like it was going to cave in on itself. A whimper came from her lips as tears began to flow freely.
"Onee-sama…" she chokingly whispered.
...
Sachiko was awake, then again she was always awake at this time of night, either reading to fall asleep or because she was thinking about Yumi. Tonight she was awake because she worried about her petite soeur. Dinner had been met with silence about what Sachiko had said she would listen to. She wanted to comfort Yumi, she wanted to tell her that the way she looked didn't change her thoughts of the girl, she wanted…
A sigh escaped Sachiko and she winced as that ever present tightness in her heart returned. She had silently promised Yumi that she would wait for the smaller girl to talk to her when she was ready, even though she knew that the lack of deeper communication between them had been a source of such immense pain in the past. Her memories drifted to the past as she remembered the weeks leading up to her grandmothers' death but she shook her head sharply to make those thoughts go away.
She rolled over onto her side as her eyes caught the door on the other side of the wall. Through that door was Yumi…
"Onee-sama…"
It was barely a whisper but Sachiko heard it as if it had been a scream. She didn't think as her eyes widened with fear - she just reacted.
…
Before she could finish her shuddering breath from what she thought was a whisper the door opened and Sachiko burst through very unlady like.
"Yumi!" Sachiko responded to her petite soeurs cry, instantly on the bed in front of Yumi to pull her into her arms.
"O..Onee-sama…?" Yumi froze as she found her face against the older girls' chest.
"I heard you Yumi, I heard you call to me." She seemed to whisper as her heart violently pounded in her chest.
*Did I? Now I'm not so sure.
What could be causing Yumi to say my name like that?
She feels so good…*
"Onee-sama…I…" Yumi said as she moved her head back to look at the woman in front of her.
*What do I say?*
Worried blue eyes met sad brown ones, such pain in them that caused the tightness in Sachikos' heart to double. She felt a lump in her throat at seeing the emotions on the smaller girls face and in those endless orbs that she opened her mouth to speak before she truly thought.
"What is it, my Little One?"
Both sets of eyes went wide as they continued to look at one another, Yumi stunned silent, but it was Sachiko that moved first, her hand coming up to hold and caress Yumis' cheek with her long slender fingers. A blush coloring her cheeks in the moonlight.
"Talk to me, Yumi, tell me what is hurting you so much." Her voice was soft; her thumb catching a few tears still coming from Yumis' eyes.
It was too much for Yumi, everything was just too much - from the name her Onee-sama called her to the storm inside of her heart. A painful sob ripped from her as she lunged herself into Sachikos' arms.
"Yu…?" Sachiko began to say but caught the younger girl tightly in her arms, the force knocking her onto her back in the bed.
She felt the sobs come from Yumi in waves for the longest time. Tears covered her neck and chest but it didn't matter, she wrapped one of her arms around Yumis' waist tighter while her other hand gently stroked her hair.
"It's alright, my Little One, just let it out. Please let me carry whatever burdens you, let me help you." She whispered the words softly, encouragingly.
Yumi had her arms around Sachikos' neck holding on tightly as she let out all of her pain and fears since dinner, shaking as she couldn't control it any longer.
"I must look so ugly to you; it's all I could think about while we ate…" Yumi said between sobs, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as her chest tightened.
"I work out," her thoughts just spilling uncontrollably out of her, "because before your grandmother passed away it was the only thing I could do to keep myself focused when I thought I was losing you. Yuki taught me…and I liked it. I liked how it made me feel so I keep doing it and it's changing my body. It's why I never wear anything that shows too much of me, I didn't want people asking or making fun of me…but I was afraid, most of all, if you saw."
Yumi heard her Onee-sama's unspoken question as the hand on her head stopped moving for a moment before resuming.
"I thought…I thought that if you saw me…then you wouldn't be my Onee-sama anymore. I am starting to not look like a proper lady…" she continued to sob, her heart hurting so much at the thoughts of Sachiko not being her Onee-sama.
"Are you disgusted at how your petite soeur looks now?" Tears fell from her eyes once more terrified to what Sachiko would tell her.
*What have I done?
I shouldn't have said all of those things, what if she asks for her Rosary back?
Kami-sama no…*
She grasped at Sachiko tighter.
*Please, please don't ask me for that back – I can't give it to you.*
Sachiko was shocked at all of what Yumi had said but she knew she could process that information later. Right now the most important person in her life was torn with grief and fear – because of her. Such a thought brought tears to Sachikos' eyes but she pulled Yumi so tightly against her, holding her as close to her body as she could. There was so much pain in her own heart at hearing Yumis' words at how she could think less of her, how she could be disgusted with her, or how something that brought Yumi pleasure could lessen her opinion of her.
"I could never be disgusted with you, Yumi, and I could never break my bond as soeurs with you either. You are the most important person in my life and I…l..l..love everything about you." Sachiko said with a shaking voice when it came to her last sentence, hoping that Yumi would not catch the stutter.
There was another silence between the two girls as Yumi began to calm down, still pressed to Sachiko, and Sachiko trying to calm the beating of her heart.
"You are the most important person in my life."
Yumis' heart began to beat faster as she replayed Sachikos' words over and over in her head. Happiness began to surge through her, nearly making her dizzy, at the sudden change of emotions. Her Onee-sama still wanted to be soeurs, she still held a place in her Onee-samas' life, and…
*Oh no…!*
Yumi tightened all of her muscles in her stomach instantly to try and stop what was coming, something she new that always came after she cried for to long…
"Hiccup!"
Sachikos' body went rigid as the force of Yumi's hiccup caused her body to move against her own. The hiccups kept coming and it was all Sachiko could do to bite her lip to keep her breath even and the moan she unexpectedly wanted to utter from escaping her lips at the feeling of Yumi moving on top of her, such a reaction nearly frightening her with its intensity.
*She feels so good in my arms, her warmth against me…
I shouldn't be thinking about this right now…
Control yourself!*
Yumi could feel what her hiccups were causing deep inside of herself. She could feel her body against Sachikos and the tank tops they had both put on to sleep in was doing a poor job of keeping her cool. Her whole body felt like it was on fire!
*I want to hold you longer Onee-sama.
I want to feel your skin against mine, I don't want to move but I know I should.
This isn't right, is it?*
Sachiko felt Yumi move and she released her hold instantly from her petite soeur, sitting up as Yumi moved back to her original position of sitting up in bed, sniffling and hiccupping still. Reaching into the pocket of her pajama pants the older girl pulled out her handkerchief and tenderly wiped away Yumis' tears from her cheeks and eyes. When she was finished she laid it on Yumis' pillow, in case she needed it later, and gently moved the hair out of Yumis' face.
"Are you feeling better?" Sachiko asked tenderly as her fingers moved down Yumis' face to caress her cheek once more.
*No…
Your touch….
All I want to do…*
"Hai, Onee-sama, .thank you." Yumi stuttered, embarrassed by her thoughts but so glad to know how the older girl felt about what she looked like now.
With a smile on her face Sachiko stood up and tucked Yumi into bed pulling only the sheets up to her chest in case she was hot.
"If you need anything…"
"Hai, Onee-sama, I know that you are…"
Yumi never finished her sentence as she felt Sachiko move her bangs slightly and …
*She…
Did she…?*
"Have a good night, Yumi." Sachiko said as she closed the door that joined their rooms.
0o0o0
*She just wanted me to feel better.
She didn't mean THAT by it.
She just wanted me to feel better.*
It was hours after Sachiko left the room she was sleeping in but Yumi was far from sleeping, even though she was exhausted after the emotional moment between Sachiko and herself. Her forehead seemed to burn where those soft warm lips had been…
A shudder went through her body as she grasped her extra pillow tighter to her body. She had had dreams, so many dreams, of what a kiss from Sachiko would feel like. In her dreams Sachiko had kissed her in a variety of ways, in a variety of places, but even just they very light and quick kiss she received on her forehead gave her a more intense reaction than any of her dreams.
*Tomorrow is a work out day so I can work these feelings off.*
Yumi rolled over onto her back and her eyes immediately shifted to the door where she knew Sachiko was sleeping.
*She just wanted me to feel better.
Right?*
…
Sachiko lay in bed looking at the ceiling as her whole body shook beyond her control hours later after returning to her room from being at Yumis' side. What was going on with her? Something inside of her began to change when she saw Yumi in the yard working, something she had kept locked away, something now she had a hard time keeping in check.
*What have I done?
Yumi cries in my arms and I…*
She couldn't even complete the thought without her body beginning to react to it. Her fingers moved to her lips still feeling Yumis' warm skin against them.
*Sachiko, you stupid girl, what have you done?*
Authors Notes: Okay...that was a very painful chapter to write. Painful as in difficult. As I stated I didn't want to write it so that something terrible happened between them so most of their vacation was uncomfortable but I didn't want a confession of love just yet either. I want them to learn about each other a bit more, at least, that is what I plan on - doesn't mean it will happen. So yes, difficult chapter to write and I didn't spend much time actually writing but more along the lines of editing and rewriting *sighs* I'm not 100% sure the chapter turned out as I wanted or hoped so please forgive me. *bows* Next chapter I hope for a bit more fun :)
Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and for staying with me this long!
Chapter 5 to follow in the days/weeks.