That Weird Dream

A/N: Howdy, guys. I haven't been active in quite a while. I hope you're patient with me because it's a *really* long time. No offense to you otakus and anime fans out there although I did something to a certain character.

Kagura would have had blissful sleep if it wasn't for Kimura and his costume. It begin as some as her brain clicked off to sleep mode.

She woke up and yawned only to see Gendo at the foot of her bed. Too drowsy to give a proper response, she said groggily, "Aren't suppose to you to do your trademark pose and plan for the end of the world?"

He replied, in a very familiar voice, "Morning, Kagura, what a lovely day we're having."

She sat up in shock. "What!? Kimura!"

Kimura let out a smile so broad that certainly didn't fit his Gendo costume. "That's right, baby!" His fake Lincoln beard promptly dropped off his face.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!?" the tomboy screamed at him, holding the covers and backing away like a frightened cat.

"Oh, nothing~," he said coyly with that horrid smile. "I just thought of dropping by to see your transformation."

"What transformation?" she demanded angrily.

"See for yourself." He handed her a hand mirror.

Kagura quickly snatched the mirror from his hands and looked at her reflection. What she saw shocked her.

The face was pale, it had red eyes and sky-blue hair. She touched her face with a pale hand. She could not believe that the face she's looking at is her's.

"This can't be happening..." Trembling, she reluctantly got out of bed and found herself standing in front of a full body mirror. To her horror she saw her whole body from head to foot having a milky white look; her new eyes and hair were not helping either. The only thing that's vaguely recognizable of herself pre-transformation were her boobs and athletic figure.

But for all intents and purposes she's now Rei Ayanami.

"How did this happen...?" she whelped as she touched her face in disbelief.

"That's not important, Rei," Kimura said from behind, about to wrap his arms around her waist. "What's important is that-"

"Screw you!" She jumped out his arms just in time. "Don't you have a wife and kid?!"

"Yes, I do," he said sheepishly. "But they're spending the weekend with her parents while I'm stuck at home grading homework."

Kagura stopped being terrified and looked at him in befuddlement. "What? Really?"

"Yes," he went on sadly. "And now I'm at home all by myself~," singing the last three words.

"Man, sucks to be you," Kagura cheered. "I think I'll be on my way to-"

Kimura said rapidly in a cheery voice, "Would you like to stay at my house and help me with grading work in the weekend?"

"Hell no!" she spat back. "And stop using my first name."

"But please~, Kagura. I'm all alone at home."Help me grade some school work and I'll grade you too."

Kagura almost vomited at the thought of Kimura "grading" her. She quickly ran out of her room and down the stairs.

The creepy teacher-in-Gendo-costume jumped up in hot pursuit. "Wait, come back!" he begged. "You haven't put on your plugsuit."

"You WEAR it, creep!" she shouted back as she leaped out the door and out on the street.

Kimura, a teacher in his forties and not in top shape, panted and knelt on the ground to catch his breath after just a few dozen meters down the street, where Kagura was now outdistancing him further down. "Wait..." he begged sadly with an outstretched arm, puffing shallow breaths. "Kagura..."

The tomboy was now quite far as his pleas echoed behind her. "If you don't like... you can wear the Shimei Ryomou maid outfit... or the Eva school uniform..." But Kagura could hear no more as she made the perverted teacher/cosplayer bite the dust.

She finally stopped to catch her breath, tired from all that running. "Phew..." she sighed in relief. "Now that Kimura's out of my tail I can finally try to enjoy this day with my friends. I hope Sakaki's out today. I'll ask her if she can bike race with me."

She was then stopped by a bunch of guys who look like they saw a cat being roadkilled.

"Oh, hi there," she greeted. She noticed the looks she's getting from them. And then there was their general appearance, which instantly blinked a warning light in her mind.

"Otakus..." she whispered, shuddering with dread.

They all squealed like girls at a boy band concert, which is probably the typical otaku reaction to anything related to their favorite fetish.

"Oh my god," one of them said, "it's Rei Ayanami."

"How could you be sure?" another asked.

"Just look at her!" He excitedly gestured with both hands. "She can't be a cosplayer. She's got her skin, her eyes and her hair."

Kagura realized that she hadn't change into proper casual cloths during her flight from Kimura and was just in her shorts and t-shirt, which suddenly embarrassed her.

"But look at her," a third said. "Rei doesn't have an athletic figure. Or boobs."

Now these freaks are talking about her body.

"But she look's sexier that way," the first one said.

"What!?" she snapped, outraged. "Excuse me, but I'm not your bloody waifu, Rei. I'm Kagura. I'm from the swim team of my school and I'm not a freakin' cosplayer. Go beat off on a stray cat, you sickos."

The otakus suddenly fell on their knees, their heads touching the concrete. "Rei spoke!" the first one shouted. "She spoke!"

"WE'RE NOT WORTHY!" they all shouted together.

Kagura went crazy on them. She picked up the nearest one off his feet and bodyslammed him hard into his two still-bowing comrades, sending them tumbling into a lingerie store.

"Oh yeah!" She pumped her fist in triumph. "Kagura, three. Otakus, ZERO!"

But her triumph quickly faded away when a large crowd of otakus, both male and female, both in regular clothes and colorful costumes assembled in front of her.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds.

"AHHHH!" they screamed madly, jumping up and down in joy like, again, little girls in a boy band concert.

"Oh crap!" she exclaimed as she ran off from the screaming anime fans, all wanting to meet the famous anime character in the flesh.

"Oh my God she's real!" a girl fan cried.

"Please sign my autograph!" a boy cried.

"Rei! Please say 'Shinji-kun'!" shrilled Konata Izumi, seeing a fantasy come true.

"SCREW YOU!" she shouted back as she ran for her dear life lest she be suffocated by the misplaced adoration by the wild fans, speeding up.

She arrived at the park at the worst possible location. She was stopped by the wall and the entrance gate was too far off. Looking back she saw the otaku crowd, thundering and kicking up clouds of dust.

"Oh shit!" She scampered up the wall in fear and dropped down on the other side. She ran off just in time as the crowd exploded through the wall. Passing through the woods she ran into an open area...

Right into a WW2 Eastern Front reenactment event.

Kagura found herself in the middle of a Call of Duty-style battlefield, with Red Army and Wehrmacht trading fire across the field. The sounds of gunfire nearly made her run around in circles in confusion.

"Hey, what gives?" complained a Red conscript in a surfer-dude voice.

"What the devil?" muttered a commissar with an English accent, scratching his head.

"Damn, it's those pesky cosplayers," complained a Wehrmacht sergeant in a husky Texan accent.

Seeing the WTF looks in everyone's faces, the Texan Wehrmacht shouted an order. "CEASEFIRE!"

Everyone promptly stopped firing and Kagura immediately stopped running around and fell on her face in the ground.

The Texan marched towards with an appropriate Texan Ranger expression.

Kagura looked up to see a pair of booted feet right in front of her. She saw a German officer like in those war movies she watched standing menacingly right in her face. Suddenly, she was paralyzed with fear and confusion as she couldn't think her day could get any worse.

"What in tarnation are you doing here, young lady?" the officer demanded in a Texan accent. Kagura blinked her eyes in confusion. The officer guy sounded like some cowboy from America.

"You just landed in the middle of a reenactment event," he added for her benefit. She looked around as everyone in both in uniform and not all looked at her.

She stood up, scratching her head in embarrassment. "Oh yeah," she chuckled nervously. "Excuse me, I'm in a little bit of a problem..." She stopped mid-speech.

She just spoke in English quite fluently, much to her silent shock.

The Texan quickly apologized. "What seems to be the trouble then, miss?"

There was large rumbling noise coming from the woods which Kagura jumped out off. Everyone turned eyes on it and...

BOOM!

The otaku crowd cleared through the cloud of smoke and tree stumps and found Kagura.

"There she is!" a girl shouted and they all screamed.

"RETURN FIRE!" the Texan screamed and all the reenactors in the field turned their guns and fired at the wild otaku crowd.

Unfortunately, it was just all blanks. Kagura scampered off as the crowd managed to get over their confusion and plow through the reenactors.

She managed to get through the marksmanship section of the event, where people fire live ammo. Unfortunately for her, nobody's firing live ammo at the otakus. She did manage to snag a loaded PPSh-41 though and skipped the park to enter a street lined with convenience stores.

She entered one of them and sighed with relief. "Now I can just sit tight and wait for this to all blow over..."

Fap fap fap...

She heard some unusual rustling sounds from the frozen foods section in the oddly-deserted store. Holding up her stolen SMG, she quickly sneaked up at that section and found...

Shinji Ikari lying down on the frozen foods, pants gone and pleasuring himself with a stick of jerky while sobbing.

"I want to run away, I want to runaway, I want to runaway..." he chanted pitifully like the whiny little bitch ass he is while doing his thing with the jerky, all in front of Kagura; her face frozen in eye-bulging shock.

Shinji slowly turned his face in mixture of mirth and dejection to see Kagura, as Rei Ayanami.

"REI!" he squealed in horror, dropping the jerky. "A-ah, i-it's not what it looks like!" he begged. "I SWEAR!"

"DEAR GOD!" she exclaimed.

"It's only ranch dressing," he explained... poorly.

Kagura, for the sake of her sanity, pointed the PPSh at him and quickly unleashed a rain of lead on the sorry little Third Child. Blood sprayed everywhere including the ice cream. Death wasn't so sweet to him after all.

Disgusted by what Shinji did, she dashed to the nearest bathroom and barfed for fifteen minutes straight. "Ah, that was nasty..." she exclaimed, still carrying that horrible image as she walked out the bathroom.

"Hiya, Kagura!" Tomo called out as she happily walked into the store.

"What now, Tomo?" she asked grumpily, still feeling raw about Tomo's blackmail yesterday.

"My, my, you changed," the wildcat noted slyly

"Yeah, yeah. Your fantasy about me came true. What's your point?"

Tomo paused for a while, trying to think why came to the store.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I heard that you didn't change when you went out today so I brought you a nice change of clothes."

"Really!?" She instantly forgot Tomo's annoying blackmail threat, seeing how she can finally wear some decent clothes after running around all morning from otakus.

"Here." The wildcat tossed her a paper bag.

"Oh boy," she said excitedly. She ripped it apart hastily and...

Held a white plugsuit in her hands.

Furious, she cried angrily into the air. "What the hell is this!?" she demanded.

"Your casual wear," Tomo mewed.

"This!?" She held out the suit. "Is this a joke, Tomo?" But Tomo disappeared behind a cash counter and turned on the PA system.

"Attention, everyone," she announced. "Today's special guest is Rei Ayanami. She's her to put on her plugsuit and be totally helpless~."

Just then, the fan crowd that chased earlier suddenly appeared in front of the store. They screamed excitedly when they saw their idol inside. And they broke through the glass.

"Aw, crap," she exclaimed as she pointed her PPSh at them and...

CLICK!

To her horror, the gun was empty, courtesy of having fired all her ammo at the late Shinji Ikari. She screamed to the top of her lungs as she ran to the store's, well, storage room.

She jumped and locked the door, just in time for them to slam against it. It almost threw off balance and she hurriedly barricaded the door with shelves full of goods. That only delayed them.

They finally crashed through the walls, all of them giddily excited to find their favorite anime character.

Only to be disappointed. Rei Kagura/Ayanami was nowhere to be found. Alarmed, they looked around worriedly for their idol. They promptly spread out and left.

And they forgot to turn over the cardboard boxes scattered around.

Inside, Kagura smirked with satisfaction hiding in one of them. "Ha!" she said. "Did those guys ever thought about checking the cardboard boxes? It's the oldest trick of the book and they fell for it."

A flashlight suddenly lit behind her. "Oh yeah, baby~. It's you and me against the world," Kimura whispered in creepily.

Kagura screamed loudly in terror as Kimura guffawed loudly from her back.

"Ahhh! This can't be!"

"Oh! Sure it is! Ging gonag gang gong king kong king kong ka!"

Her alarm clock blared loudly, prompting to her wake up in a jolt. Looking around nervously, she found out that she's still in her room. She sighed with relief. "Ho boy... It's just a dream, Kagura. Just a dream."

Her cellphone rang, chiming Poi Poi Peace. She picked it and received the call. "Hello?"

"Hiya, Kagura," Tomo greeted. "Today's the big day."

And Kagura turned pale in horror.

A/N: Supposedly it's one chapter but the ending will be in the next chapter due to time constraints. Hope your excited for Kagura in a plugsuit for the culture fest, guys. Until then, see ya! By the way, Poi Poi Peace is one of Tomo's character songs while Shimei Ryomou is a character from an ecchi anime called Ikkitousen.