Be eternally grateful, like me, to lambert-yuki-loverer because she nagged me into an update. Making me turn myself upside down and basically trying to bend time in order to write.
But I did it. Even though it's short and it's weird.
It's something, so that counts? Also thanks to Kradamkrazy just for being cute (and the crazy, moral, twin support she's giving me!)

Disclaimer: *points to boys… then to self… shakes head*

It was funny how Adam seemed to fit within his surroundings –though it was his apartment— and at the same time seemed to be such a contrast to basically everything.
His hair was the exact raven opposite to the white sheets that surrounded us. I couldn't see much of his face, seeing the position we were in.
But I had already memorized every freckle and line of his face and I knew how the sharp edges stood out to the ever present soft light in this room, while at the same time his softer features, like that one honest smile I'd gotten out of him, made everything seem sharp and ugly.

Not that I was paying much attention to our surroundings. Not that I cared much about the colour of the hair my hand was tangled in. Not that I cared how sharp or soft the skin I stroked was. I didn't really give a damn. I only cared about the fact that the handsome face was buried somewhere between my shoulder and my neck, that the hands with freckles were around my torso and that we were just holding each other after I had pulled Adam down with me into his gigantic, endless bed.

It was a lot alike to our position last night, or what I remembered that position to be. Curled around each other on the floor, when that strange rush of emotions had flooded in, up and around my very fucking soul. Blocking all my senses and replacing them with a foreign pain; a loneliness I had never, ever, experienced before.
I knew aspects of the extreme pain I felt. I had been let down; I had been hurt in the past. People had hurt me. But never quite like this.
I recognised the hurt, the pain I couldn't place, but it was so intense it almost crushed me. I had to fight to regain some of my humanity. I had to fight the pain within me, feeling it drown my energy. It felt like I had to fight insanity.

Our position right now was so alike to that, only this time I wasn't crushed under the emotions I had soon figured out to be Adam's. I don't know how, or if it was something my very long sleep helped me figure out. I just knew. I knew something, or rather someone, had hurt Adam beyond anything I had ever seen. Or felt for that matter.

When I saw him this morning, I had done the only thing that seemed logical in my mind; I had crawled to him, cupped his face and straight-forward asked him what had hurt him so badly. Not understanding why someone would hurt another human being like that. Why someone would hurt Adam like that –since he didn't exactly classify as 'just another fucking human' in my hazed mind—

The shock in his eyes was so bright I could feel him again. I hadn't expected it, nor had I expected the complete panic, but I felt that he panicked over the fact that I knew. That I had figured out it were his emotions and that he was hurt.

So once again trusting my instincts, I had pulled him back onto the bed with me, wrapping my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest and trying to touch every part of his body I could reach. Though there was just too much of him for me to comfort. Just like there seemed to be too much pain for me to heal.

Could I heal it? Did I want to heal it?

He had, after all, intended to fuck me and then disregard of me. He didn't feel anything. Lisa had been clear enough. He did not want to feel.

But as I felt his nose skim my jaw, almost; almost, lovingly, I couldn't keep my heart from jumping a little.
I shouldn't hope for anything, I shouldn't…
But I wanted to. I wanted to help him. I wanted to break through that wall he build that kept me from the real Adam. The one with the loving smile, the one that had once kissed me lazily last night, the one that came up with the little nickname.

I could clearly keep the two Adam's apart and right now; I was holding the hidden one. I knew that that on it's was really damned something, if even his friends couldn't break through that carefully build wall.
Next question; could I?

I had broken through the wall, for now, but he would pull it up again eventually. It was what I would've done if I was the one baring all that hurt.

Instinctively I pressed even closer to him, wrapping my feet around his legs. My arms tighter around his body, my cheek now resting against his.

If this were a different person I was… well, cuddling with... If it hadn't been Adam, if I hadn't been here and if I hadn't felt what I'd felt last night, this position would've been fucking embarrassing and quite uncomfortable.
It wasn't and it was goddamned strange and amazing at the same time. How was that even possible?
Note to self: Stop thinking about things you can't figure out either way. It'll make your head hurt. We don't want that.

His head rose from my skin and then the electric blue eyes looked into mine.
"Who are you?" He questioned. Rhetorical question much?

"I'm Tommy." I answered, a little confused as he stroked my cheek. Confusion, though about something else, equally present on his face.

"Where did you come from?" Came the next question, softer now. Still the same amount of confusion

"Uh…" I stuttered a little, the tips of his fingers lingering over my face and lower.

"Why'd you come?" third question, vague and even more without any possible answer then the two before it. "You shouldn't."

He pushed himself up so I was forced to let go of him, falling back into the pillows and a protesting whine left my throat, making him smirk.
I was really starting to get annoyed by that fucking smirk.

His back was now towards me and I heard him sigh, rubbing his hands over his face. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the black eye-liner smudges on his hands.

Once again, and quite unwillingly, I crawled from underneath the soft white sheets and towards him, grabbing one of his hands and rubbing the smudge off.
He eyes me with wonder and caution, before he pulled his hand back.

"Don't do this, Tommy. You were right, you can't do this." He said, distancing himself again. It hurt, somewhere within.

"Can't do what, Adam? What can't I do?" I asked, immediately growing a little angry at his words. I was under the impression he didn't wanted to hurt me? That he didn't want to get rid of me.
Fucking words, I hated them already.

"You can't…" He couldn't finish his sentence. "You shouldn't by trying to help me. You should get out and far away from me. For your own good."

His voice was demanding, like he was sending me away. And he accused me of having mood-swings!

"Adam." I moved closer to him, putting my hands on his shoulders and they tensed under my touch. "I won't hurt you; I promise."

Then he snapped.

He turned around, a wild kind of rage on his face as he almost jumped of the bed. "Get out!" he yelled. "Get your scrawny ass out of my apartment and out of my life! Right. This. Instant!"

I gaped at him, my mouth wide open.

"What?"

"You heard me. Get. Out." He said again, his teeth clamped together as he threw my clothes from last night in my face and pointed at the door.

Once again a wave of pain found its way through my veins, but this time it was all mine. My vision blurred, with rage or tears, I wasn't sure. I only knew I stormed past him, towards the door, a different door then the one we had stumbled through last night, but what did it matter?

I didn't care I was bare-chested and on bare feet. I only cared for the rage on Adam's face and the fucking idiocy of this man in front of me. I couldn't believe he was doing this. He said he wouldn't!
Then again, this was Adam shitload of trouble Lambert we were talking about. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him.

I turned around once, standing in his doorframe and send him a last look. There was more then the rage on his face now and I saw his fingers twitch towards me.
"I thought you promised?" I questioned, feeling much alike to a small child not getting his candy. Only worse.
My blurry sight was now definitely coming from tears. I couldn't believe how attached I had grown to this man in the last two nights. It was irrational, stupid and so, so good! And yet so, so wrong!

Then I slammed the door behind me, not feeling the harsh steel beneath my feet as I stormed down what was probably the fire-escape. I ran as far and as fast as I could, which in reality wasn't further then the pavement in front of club Glam and then collapsed on the side-way. I ran my hand over my face, similar to the way Adam had done just minutes ago. Knowing I looked a mess and for the millionth time today, and I had only been up for barely half an hour! not caring either way.

God-fucking dammed... Aaagh.

Those were basically the four words that kept repeating itself in my head. Along with his name. Adam, Adam, Adam.

I slumped down, most likely looking like a homeless person or something, without a shirt, without shoes and it only added that it was fucking cold out in the open, even in LA. Especially in the morning.
I was outside, unloved, just-dumped and cold.
Fantastic.

"Well this is just bloody fantastic." A light voice behind me agreed. Sighing all the way.

I turned around, the look on my face probably beyond surprised, finding myself looking straight into an angular face of an equally shirtless male. He was standing a few feet behind me, chewing on the insides of his cheeks and tapping his foot. I didn't fail to notice that he was way, way better looking then I was right now.

"What's so bloody fantastic?" I asked, flicking my hair out of my face, staring up at the toned man.
He was muscled too, another thing to make this day even better.

"He kicked you out, didn't he? Oh, this is so not like I hoped this would go. You actually seem so promising!"

I didn't understand a thing this man was saying. But I was beyond freaking grateful when he extended a hand and said a few friendly words in a slight accent; "C'mere, get up. It's not that bad, you did better then anybody ever did. I'm Cassidy."

I accepted his hand and let him pull me up, finding out we were roughly the same height and both with brown-eyes. Only his hair was brown too and he was more Hispanic looking then I was.

"Listen. I don't know what happened between you and Adam, …?" Hispanic Cassidy told me. Straightening the necklaces around his neck.

"Tommy." I filled in quickly.

"Tommy. I don't have a clue. But something happened and that's a first in a very long period of time." Cassidy said and he grabbed by wrist in a reassuring manner. "Adam's not an easy person. He's hurt, but I figure you already knew that." He brushed his hand over my cheek for a second and I saw his fingers were now moist with the remaining tears.

I quickly brushed the rest of them off my cheeks and nodded. "Yeah, you could say that again."

"I can help you." Cassidy said. Looking at me with a strange, but hopeful look. "We all could."

I watched him cautiously. I didn't even have a clue who this Cassidy person was. Couldn't I just go home, talk to Lisa, get drunk with Longineu and forget this whole mess?
By the look on his face; apparently not.

"You all being?"

"Adam's friends, of course."

Damned facial expressions.
For the second time that day I openly and without shame gaped at someone. This time, however, with a little more hope then before.

I had made my decision, though it was barely fifteen minutes old; I wanted to help Adam. I just didn't know how.
Then, this man shows up and offers his help and that of Adam's friends.

My decision was made, could I come true to it? Could I help Adam? I damn well hoped I could and I damn well hoped his friends knew how.

"C'mon. I'll introduce you!" Cassidy smiled and this time, I answered his smile with one of my own as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards the club.

Club Glam; did everything just revolve around that place?