this chapter contains one half of the vision that inspired the wole big ordeal. Yeah and if you don't know what song I used... yeah, then you would be just plain stupid. No offence, but seriously, creep away from the rock...
Those who DO get it...
I love you. like, in general.
Enjoy,

Adam PoV

What the fuck! What the hell? What the fucking hell?

I let my head fall into my hands. Rubbing my fingertips over the make-up stained skin. My brow creased in stress. What the hell had I just done? Why did it hurt me so? I had done it before, hadn't I? Why was this different? Why in the name of all that was holy was he so different?
Just slow down, Lambert.
I was one again sitting in my bed, the sheets pulled over my knees, partially curled up where I still felt the ghosts of the two entangled bodies that had been lying here just half an hour previous. Trying to review what'd just happened. Or at least; trying to.

My head felt like hundreds of voices were arguing in side, or like it was going to explode at the least. I couldn't make sense of the voices and I didn't want to.
I was too focussed on suppressing the pain that had welled up in the heart-area. It felt two times worse then ever. Maybe because the hurt on Tommy's face was added to it now.
I didn't know why I'd overreacted, why I'd lost control like that; I never lost control.

I sighed in my hands, still massaging my own skin with my fingers, not caring my rings scratched painfully into it.
God damn it! Why did this boy get to me like this? Was it some cruel joke, to get me out of my perfect shell and then see how much I could take?
Hey, let's see if we can find a way to hurt Adam even more, that should be fun!

Yeah, like Drake –wince- hadn't already done enough. Like my flaws hadn't already been pointed out enough, like my mind wasn't already tormented enough, like…

Wow… Stop. Rewind.

My head snapped up, my eyes staring at the opposite wall, rather then the palms of my hands, now.
Normally, just the mention of Drake's name would drive me over the edge. Right? Didn't normally, just the thought of him make me want to throw things at innocent bystanders?

Now, I winced? Just a fucking wince?

Well, something was definitely wrong here.
Or something is definitely good…

Great, another voice added to the screams inside my head. I was positive I was going crazy.
I sighed, exhausted and rested my arms on top of my knees.

Truth to be told; I did know why I'd lost control on Tommy. Because for one; what he said. His promise that he wouldn't hurt me. It had triggered the pain inside of me.
Secondly, I was afraid.
Yeah, me, Adam Lambert, King of the fast-paced Hollywood nightlife, was afraid.
So goddamned scared, because I hadn't felt like this since…
Well, since I'd first met Drake.

-Wince-

Something in me wanted Tommy. The blonde midget with the big brown eyes and surprisingly not just for his elf body. No. Something just wanted to carefully expose all those layers of his personality and love them. Love him.

Why him? Why me? Why now?

I kept staring at the wall in front of me. Thinking was the priority now. I needed to figure out what to do. How to once again bury the man I'd been before deeply within my own being.

But do you want that?

Shut. Up. Just shut up.

My hands reached for my head again. Trying to get the screaming to stop.
And it did.
But the silence was even worse.

Because the only thing that was now screaming at me (ear-shattering, top of the lungs— opera-singer, 1000 megahertz loud) was the fact that I cared.

There had been a time that I didn't give a damn. That I just gave myself away to anyone who asked for it. Or remotely looked interested. Heck, even the ones that hadn't been interested (their opinion had always changed within minutes)
But now. Here I was. Hopelessly caring about a dude with weird hair that I'd only known for 2 freaking days.

Here we are. What now?

Sure, if I believed in fate, like I'd done before the whole Drake-thing… -wince- and back then I would've been completely convinced that Tommy was, in fact, something thrown at me by fate.
But I didn't believe that anymore. The concept fate had been destroyed for me a long time ago.
There was no such thing as fate. Only the cold, hard world and its expectations towards me.
The world that had created the person everyone thought to be Adam Lambert, the hard world that had created this version of me. That had created a perfect mask.

So surely, Tommy was nothing more then another someone I needed to forget, because we could never work.
That wasn't his fault. There was nothing wrong with him. It, of course, was me. Like those things were always my fault. The first failure of our nightclub had been my fault, the audition for American Idol gone wrong had been my fault, and Drake hurting me had been my fault.
That was just plain to see.

I was a freak. Drake –wince— had made that one clear enough. This new failure just made it clearer.
What did Tommy even want from someone like me? What did he see? Naturally I couldn't be appealing for that kind of love… What did he want from me?
Did he, might he? Could he maybe, honestly care?

Yes.

I almost smiled. Almost.
A beautiful boy, trying to care for me and of course, I shoved him right out. I just let him step away.

He could save you.

But I wouldn't let him. I wasn't going to pull him into the black hole that was me. My only purpose now was the entertainment of the crowd. That and that alone should be my priority.

But I wanted it. I wanted it so badly. Because I was the greedy bastard I was, behind that perfect mask.
I wanted his body, his mind, his soul. Everything.

I had been close to having it all. He had been so close to loving me and oh, had he done it perfectly...

But I couldn't, I mustn't.

You should.

No. I didn't deserve that. It would come back to harshly bite me in the arse anyway.

I felt something cold and wet roll down my face, softly burning away the mask and making my face scrunch up in ugly hurt.
I wanted it, I wanted it so badly.

–wince—

Tommy PoV

So, turns out, club Glam was even bigger then I'd thought. And I was under the impression that it was pretty damn huge.
Still, Cassidy dragged me through the club, greeted the DJ and then guided me through several doors and hallways until we reached what I believed to be the basement.

Or at least, what had possibly once had been a basement.

I wondered what Adam called this one. The minus-one floor?

The place was large for a basement, with high ceilings and it was probably as big as the second floor, thus half as big as the main floor. Which was pretty nicely large.

At first glance, one wouldn't necessarily say so, because of the dark, almost gothic (yet fashionable... why did I know that?) colours.
Also, like the second floor, there were multiple places to just sit around and hang, with soft looking couches, love-seats and the occasional humongous pillow.
There was a fairly large open space, which, to my horror, had a stripper-pole, and a few wooden bars, like in a ballet studio.

Luckily for me, the place was a lot less crowded then the second floor had been yesterday. Only a dozen people or so were whether lounging in the area nest to the stairs. (The stairs located in the far right corner of the room) and a few others, that I recognised to be dancers or so, were cooling down (or warming up... I didn't really know the difference) and probably stretching the soreness of last night out of their systems.
The few people that were here, though, were plenty enough to look at, since basically all of them wore strange, pretty, exposing and daring clothes. Most of them with feathers and lots and lots of leather. Extravagant make-up too, of course, I should be used to it by now. Though I still thought eye-liner was pretty extravagant too, for a guy like me anyway.

The scenery they were seated in was very soothing for my eyes, which was probably intended. The lights were a bit dimmed, but not for a sensual effect, it felt more welcoming and nice. A bit like the feeling I'd had when I woke up this morning.
I couldn't help but let those feelings flow back into my system for a second. A pang of hurt quickly killed the feeling though.
Ugh, stupid Adam. Lovely Adam…

Cassidy (whoop-tee we were already on first-name basis, since he acted like he'd known me for several years, rather then a few minutes) led me straight to the lounging area where I noticed a big-ass TV set on a random music-channel.
His hand was still firmly wrapped around my wrist, as if to say. 'I'm going to help you, but in the meantime, you're not going anywhere…'.

"Hey everyone! Look who I found all alone on the streets!" Jeez, thanks….

4 heads seated in a circle of furniture turned in our direction when they heard Cassidy's voice. As well as a few others, but these were clearly the ones Cassidy had directed his words to. 2 men, 2 women.

A chorus of "Hey, Cass!"'s and "Is that…?"'s greeted us and Cassidy nodded proudly as he practically dumped me on the only couch, while he took a seat on one of the love seats. Something that seemed so natural for him that I assumed it was his regular spot.
Everyone looked at me and since I wasn't exactly the shyest person on the planet, I stared right back.

On the love seat next to Cassidy was a fairly young man with a very… expressive face, who was staring at me with his head slightly cocked and a cheeky smile on his face. His outfit was almost as strange as Cassidy's leather pants and feathery accessories. He was supporting ripped skinny jeans and a flashy T-shirt. All sorts of tight bracelets wrapped around his wrists and a weird hat on his head. It suited him, like the naked-skin exposition suited Cassidy.
In the other love seat sat what I presumed to be a couple. A southern looking man with (again) brown eyes and short brown hair was smirking at me. He had his arm wrapped around a pretty, young, blonde woman who looked more curious then anything. Both of them were dressed fairly normal, her in a dress, him in bleached jeans and a button up. They didn't seem older then 24, tops.
The youngest member of the group, I think, was sitting next to me. The fierce looking girl with flaming red hair wasn't smiling, yet, but she was basically shaking a little with obvious excitement.
Her choice of clothing was equally daring and colourful, her pants covered in all sorts of paint-stains, coloured safety-pins and other junk and her shirt was a vivid purple, with a lot of necklaces that ringed whenever she moved, which was quite a lot.
So I said something to her first, it seemed rude not to.

"Hi." Such a brilliant greeting.

"Hi!" The red-head replied. She had a bit of a rough voice and her cheeks rounded with her smile. "How are you? Bet it was raving cold out there!"

I decided I liked her.

"Well…" I wanted to say I was fine, but lying seemed equally rude. Though telling the complete strangers that I felt pretty rotten wasn't exactly high on my to-do list either.

"He just got kicked out and I found him half naked and crying on the streets, how do you think he feels, Addison?" Cassidy remarked, though with a smile.
Yeah, great fun, I felt my cheeks redden in humour. Oh wait, yeah, that was embarrassment…

The man next to Cassidy giggled and the southern-dude basically hollowed in laughter. (Though I suspected it to be at the sarcasm, rather then me, he didn't seem like the person to… but hey, what did I know?) While his girlfriend/wife/partner send me an apologetic and strangely caring look.

"Don't mind them." She said. "Shameless bastards." She nudged her partner in the ribs, effectively shutting him up, only to leave him with a sheepish grin. "Do you want a blanket or something?"

I politely refused and Cassidy, who suddenly remembered the rules of hospitality, started introducing everyone.

"Okay so, Tommy. The maternal woman that likes to nurse people is Katy." He send her a smile. "And the dude next to her is her husband Kris."

"Hey there. Glad you're okay." Kris said, looming over his wife to look at me.

"The hyperactive chick, –"hey!"— is called Addison." Cassidy went on, before he waved to the man next to him. "And this is Brad."

"But everybody basically calls me Cheeks." Brad said in a strange male-soprano. "You can to, I like you." His smile was addicting and I couldn't help but grin back, now sitting back against the cushions of the couch, a little more relaxed in this welcoming group.

"And everyone… Well I think you all already know Tommy." Cassidy finished.

Brad— Cheeks giggled again. "You're actually kind of a legend right now, sweet-faced."
I looked at him in surprise. Why the hell would anybody find me a legend? I didn't grasp the whole concept of everybody (including Adam) suddenly making such a fuss about me.
"I'm not that pretty…" I thought out loud, making everybody double over in laughter at my honestly confused statement.

"Dude, you do not have a good view of yourself." Addison hiccupped.

"You are quite the looker." Katy agreed.

"And we're going to use that to our advantage, right Cass?" Brad observed, turning to look up at the man next to him.

"We'll get you in and you'll get to work your magic on Adam, just like the past nights, cuz when I'm done with you, he won't be able to resist." Cassidy said, casually swinging his arm over Cheeks' shoulders and smiling dangerously.

I shuddered when Kris muttered; "and he's not kidding."

As I expected, his wife was the one that actually cared, whispering for them to be careful with me.

I was starting to wonder what the hell I'd gotten myself into.

I took a deep breath, As long as it gets me to Adam, and replied: "bring it on!"

Addison pumped the air, while Cheeks reacted with an excited "Yeah!". Kris chuckled, secretively giving me the thumbs up, while Katy sighed in defeat, but smiled encouragingly at the same time.
Cassidy just kept smiling, as if he didn't expect anything else.

Yeah, I liked them. But then again, I always made the wrong friends. Look at Lisa, Monte and Longineu! Yeah, you get the idea.

"But first." Cassidy said. "We have to tell you what you're trying to save here."

So they grasped that part of what I wanted and even though I didn't understand why they helped me in the first place, I was sure glad they, at least, were so convinced I had magical powers or something.
And I was willing to do whatever they wanted me to do, which was equally surprising.
This promise of information, however, made me gulp. From the flood of emotions I'd gotten from Adam, I knew that this story wasn't going to be pretty.

sorry for the late update, lovelies. But school was being its inconvenient self. Pff... Some people just don't get the fact that writing is so much more important then formulas, languages (ancient or foreign) and my whole general education.
I worry about human kind. -nodds wisely-