Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I love them:) Here's a deep heart to heart between my favorite men.
Also, thank you to the reviewer that gave me this idea:) I hope you enjoy this!
Gwaine huffed. He was tired. All the training, the patrol and walking all around Camelot in search of a particular manservant took a lot more out of him than he had expected.
Something had been off with him today. He was determined to figure out what that was. It was probably a magic thing. Gwaine had learned from a long, tense conversation with Gaius that Merlin knows how to not be found. As he's not used to sharing everything he just tends to go out. Coming back in the morning or sometime in the middle of the night once he has it sorted out.
That made Gwaine more determined than ever to find the fool. The brilliantly-silly warlock. Keep everything up inside would eventually tear him apart inside. The last week Lancelot had been out with Eylan and some others taking care of a problem not too far off. It was left to him to get to the bottom of Merlin's odd behavior.
Gwaine stopped and looked around. If I was a warlock and did not want to be found, where would I go? How can one truly be alone in Camelot? That seemed extremely difficult.
The knight sighed completely stuck in his musings and ran head-on into Percival.
"Sorry there Perce! Didn't see ya!" Gwaine patted him on the shoulder and continued on his way.
The larger knight looked perplexedly after the serious knight. Something's wrong. Forgetting what he was doing he followed Gwaine.
Reaching the end of hall, he took the stairs to the overlook. It was a place that gave persons of the household some air and a magnificent view of the town. A place out of the way. The perfect place for Merlin. The knight slowly opened the door, letting his eyes adjust to the lack of light.
Expecting the door to close behind him Gwaine turned around confused at Percival's presence. A rustle by the edge of the overlook, caught his attention. "Merlin?"
There was some indiscernible noise and a hoarse, "Gwaine?"
"Merlin! Man! I've been looking all over the place for you!" The knight approached the other man by the edge. The man in question didn't move. He remained facing out over the town, refusing to acknowledge his new companion.
"Merlin? What's wrong?" Gwaine held his hand up behind him that froze Percival in his tracks. The burly knight backed away and leaned into the shadows.
"Merlin."
The manservant faced his friend. Gwaine had not expected to see such a broken side of the brave man. Eyes red. Tear paths noticeable in the moonlight. What happened?
Comforting was not his strong suit. So he started off trying to bring a semblance of normalcy to the situation.
"It was brilliant today. Princess was of course going on and on about procedures. Again. You know how he does. The whole questioning thing." Gwaine told his friend with animated hand motions.
"Well the idiot or what' s the term you use?" He got no response. "Well, anyways he asked this new fella. The smart kid decided to say all of it- reproduces every last line word for word! I'm like holy ghosts and tree tops on fire who is this!"
"It seems that the knight was reading the lips off the man behind Arthur. He fumbled a few times. The next question Arthur directed at him he did the same thing. But boy didn't realize what he was saying! Arthur had asked him about something (I wasn't really listening for content). His reply was "I believe that if you rub it all over it will most y clean the rashes from your bum, it worked on mine!"
"All of us were dying! Arthur almost throttled both of the knights. I think they are going to be our dummies tomorrow, so you don't have to fret about that!"
Merlin had let out a laugh. A hallowed, fake laugh. Gwaine smiled back. Maybe this would open the man up!
"Merlin, can you believe those idiots tried to pull one over on Arthur? I can't!"
There was no response or further acknowledgement. Merlin turned again to face the night.
"What a day!" he continued, though his friend was obviously thinking about something else. Gwaine tried to rack his brain for another approach. Then he noticed his friend's mouth was moving and leaned closer to hear.
A soft whisper morphed into a distraught yell, "It's been a year! (Gwaine jumped back on surprise)I almost forgot. I can't believe I almost forgot!" A punch into the wall. "How could I forget about someone I loved?" Tears rushed out.
The knight was at a loss. He could handle angry and drunk men. Crying and upset people in general he tended to avoid at all cost. But this was Merlin his best friend. He had to grow a pair and put his discomfort to the side. Merlin needed him. He wasn't going to let him down.
"Merlin. It's a sign you're moving on. You need to move forward you can't dwell about a girl. It can ruin you. I know." Gwaine paused. He faced the town but his mind was somewhere else.
"While out and about I came across this wonderful young maiden. I shared everything with her. At home, in my family's kingdom, I didn't have many people that I could talk to in that manner. My father was a very secretive and separate person. He believed that only his family should know and discuss what went on in his family. A life of solitude. A life I resented. A life I left.
"Anyways, it was amazing to find a person to confide in. She was wonderful. She had this one piece of hair that would always fall in her face; I laughed at how frustrated she got about her hair and her dress. I met her…
Gwaine was lost in memories (eyes swelling up).
Merlin prompted, "What happened?"
All the wistfulness left his face. "We were traveling back to my home. She had convinced me that I needed to talk to my family, reach out. We had stopped in a village along the way. I lent a helping hand and got us some respectable shelter. We were attacked. She could defend herself well, as could I. There was a man unaccounted for. He snuck up behind me with his sword prepared to skewer.
With a moment to compose himself he continued. "She pulled me back and down on the ground… to safety. The man didn't stop. His forward motion continued. I froze Merlin. I froze as the love of my life was killed. After that I barely recall what happened. I saw red. The color was ruining her favorite gown. I pummeled the man in an instant and tried my best to comfort her in her last moments. She was so brave.
"That's when I became friendly with the tavern. I couldn't deal with life without her. I felt like I had nothing left for me in life. The more I thought about her the more it hurt. The more it slowly dragged my life away. It took some time. Eventually I realized that I couldn't go on like that.
"I haven't dwelled on her since I found you, or I guess you and Arthur found me. I made my life worthwhile. You can't blame yourself. Whatever happened, it has come to pass and you can't change it. You can change your future and whether you'll let this heavily affect everything in your life.
"You know you can share with me. It doesn't help to keep it all in. It destroys you from the inside out," Gwaine couldn't tell if Merlin was listening. He frankly didn't care. He spilled his story and elicited no response. Not. One. Word. That hurt. So he stood up and started to head back to the castle.
"I know I can share with you. You, Lance, and Gaius have told me many times." Gwaine turned to the man fiddling with his shirt. "I don't know where to begin."
"Well start out with something simple," the caring knight returned to the spot. "What was her name?"
"Fmmhha" was what he heard. "Come again?"
"Freya. Her name was Freya. She was beautiful."
"How did you meet?"
"I walked past her in Camelot." Merlin squirmed uncomfortably.
"Mmmhmm. Who were you with?"
Merlin looked up confused.
"What?! I just want to picture the scene."
There was a slight upward tug at the edges of the manservant's lips before he continued, "I was with Gaius walking about the town. And I …I saw her. I was horrified. All I wanted to do was help her. I was still naïve and extremely upset with repression of magic and complete disregard for reason."
"Where was she?"
"Locked in a cage, being treated like a dog a grimy old man," Gwaine waited as his friend paused to gather himself. "So I snuck out and hid her below the kingdom. I gave her food and showed her my special talents. She didn't care. I found out about her amazing home-a beautiful lake and wonderful fields. I planned on running away with her. I managed all my duties and helped her stay safe.
"But then there was a creature attacking the town. I went to check on her, but found her gone. Gwaine it was her. Freya was cursed to turn into this terrible creature at night. And Arthur killed her. Now I don't blame him. He had no clue. He was protecting his people." He looked away, wiping his eyes.
"Merlin. At least you gave her a chance. You gave her the opportunity to sleep safely. By making this connection with her you improved her life. From the sound of it she would not have lasted much longer. You gave her something good to be thankful for."
"Thanks Gwaine," Merlin gave him a well-received hug. "You almost sounded wise."
"Shhh, keep it to yourself. I have a reputation to uphold," Merlin broke out into a grin.
"Now let's get back inside. It's not particularly warm and one of those daft, dumb guards may find us."
"Doubt it."
"You ever going to tell Arthur about his terrible security?"
"Nope. You?"
"Never mate. Where's the fun in that?"
Gwaine grinned. He was going to figure Merlin out. The burden needed to be shared-one way or another.
A/N: Please review! Sorry it took soo long! With school restarting, I kinda put writing on the back burner & didn't want to publish the chapter till it was perfect.