"You have to push your heels down more into the stirrups." Emma startled at the sudden sound behind her and automatically drew in the reins slightly, slowing her horse down from a gentle trot to a placid walk. The white steed Samson threw up his head in annoyance once, but further obeyed it's rider without question.
"That way when he bolts, you won't fall off as easily." Regina explained with a small smile, looking at the horse with a fondness that she didn't express about most people. Emma easily maneuvered the horse towards her and halted him, but as she reached the goddess, Regina backed away slightly.
"Wouldn't want to spook him. He can't see me, but I'm pretty sure he can sense me." Regina explained with a sad smile as she watched the horse's ears twitch nervously in her presence. She wanted to pet the animal in some kind of remnant of an ancient urge but suppressed it. She always had the be weary, she had learned that lesson the hard way and there was no way she would ever forget it.
"Oh well uhm, thank you." Emma smiled awkwardly at her and found herself giggling inwardly at her own reply. Samson tensed and started turning nervously. He was a good, loyal horse, but was also quite a nervous and sensitive animal. Emma let go of the reins slightly and allowed him to walk off slowly.
"Sorry he gets nervous." She said sheepishly while giving a pat on the horse's neck. The animal visibly relaxed the further away they got from the goddess, but Emma was determined not to get to fat away from the woman and halted him in the middle of the paddock, preparing to lift herself from the saddle.
"Oh no please don't, I like to see you ride." Regina smiled and Emma couldn't help but blush. It was hardly a compliment, but it still filled her with a sense of pride. It was something about the goddess that made Emma want to impress her. Maybe it was because she was so absolutely out of reach, maybe it was because she was one of the few people that didn't revere her by definition already because she was 'the princess'. This woman was a Queen.
"You like horses?" Emma asked, prompting the horse to trot at a gentle pace. The horse moved with ease and listened to Emma's every command, always listening and working hard for his master. Regina watched it with fondness, missing the feeling of the animal underneath her, missing the warmth and companionship that she had once found there.
"Yes I quite do. I used to ride a lot back in the days." She usually avoided mentioning the times of her humanity, not only because she didn't remember much of them, but also because what she remembered hurt too much to go through again. "I had a beautiful brown mare named Rocinante, I used to sneak off and ride with her as far as I could when I was young." She smiled fondly at the memory. She had forgotten her own name, but she remembered her horse's, always valuing it more than her own. "I considered her my best friend." She smiled and stared absent mindedly at the horse's hooves that pounded upon the soil.
"I have always found that animals are easier to talk to than humans, or gods for that matter. They…"
"They don't judge." Emma finished, halting her horse again so she could meet Regina's eyes.
"I know what you mean. I am a princess, everything I say is judged by half the country and could bankrupt my kingdom." She rolled her eyes and Regina chuckled, more at ease in the company of the girl than with anyone else.
"Makes you wary in trusting anyone anymore." Regina said gloomily, absent mindedly twisting the silver ring around her finger.
"I trust you." Emma said with a shrug, shyly meeting Regina's eyes from under blonde locks. She nervously grasped the reins and Samson snorted in annoyance, pulling the reins back from her hands slightly. Regina gasped at her admission, trying to understand the foreign feeling that filled her blackened heart the words. She couldn't form a reply, so she settled for the only thing that she knew.
"I don't count." The goddess said flatly, avoiding the princesses face. "I can't talk to anyone but you, so I don't count." She closed her eyes and balled her fists, allowing herself to let go for a second, allowing herself to be submerged into the murky abyss of what was left of her memories: her mother never valuing her, her father not daring to stand up to her mother, her teachers complaining she wasn't devoted enough and finally her husband; loving a dead woman more than he loved her.
She felt the presence of the princess near her. Felt the warmth of her breath on her cold skin, felt she warmth radiating from her hands as they reached to her own.
"You do count." Emma whispered with more devotion she had never heard anyone speak to her. She slowly opened her eyes and felt tears brimming in her eyes. Emma's breath on her was the first warmth she had felt in centuries, the closest thing to a touch she had felt in an eternity. She wanted more, suddenly feeling the chill in her entire being, she wanted to touch Emma. The princess reached out to her, nearly grasping her hands. Regina wanted to hold them, but she couldn't. Just in time she stepped away from the warmth, from the touch, from Emma.
"Thank you." She murmured, the overwhelming urge to feel warmth, to feel loved, to feel anything overwhelming her entire being. Her heart longed to beat again, to be filled with something that had been ripped away from her years ago.
"I trust you too." She finally admitted, lifting her head up to look into the princesses eyes. Emma stepped towards her again, reaching out to touch her again. Regina stepped away from her again and watched confusion and hurt fill the girl's eyes. "But you shouldn't trust me, Emma. I'm dangerous." She swallowed thickly, stepping further away from the girl, afraid she would break this spell between them and touch her. "I'm the goddess of death, Emma. I will kill you."
"I already said I don't believe that." Emma murmured, searching Regina's eyes for understanding, for permission. She found neither. She longed to stretch out her hands and touch the woman, just to hold her and take away the cold that radiated from the woman, but Regina had already made clear that she wasn't allowed to do that. She wasn't allowed to touch her.
"Emma, you don't understand." Regina's voice broke, her words coming out in something between a whisper and a scream. She balled her fists, backing away further from the princess with every second. "I will not be responsible for your death." She told her on a shaky voice, firmly shaking her head as if to shake off the urge to touch the princess.
"Why would you be responsible for my dea-"
"Because your mother is right! Everything I touch dies!" Regina finally screamed at her, startling Emma's horse, causing it to rear and neigh in panic. The wind between them falls still and turns chilly at the same time at Regina's admission. "I have had to live through that once already, and I won't do that to myself again." Tears were as present in her eyes as they were in her voice, breaking it down until it was barely a shaky whisper. "I won't do that to you."
"Regina, what happened?" Emma asked, stepping towards the woman again at a fast pace, quickly nearing the woman. Regina flinched at the princess stalking towards her and suddenly Emma was thrown back upon the ground with enormous force.
"It doesn't matter." Regina said, her voice still sounding shaky behind her firm tone. Emma scrambled to get up, but before she could a dark smoke appeared at Regina's feet, slowly enveloping her.
"Regina!" Emma screamed, not willing to let to woman go yet.
"I'm not Regina." The goddess told her on a firm voice, tears still brimming in her eyes.
"I am the Goddess of Death; the Evil Queen. Perhaps you should remember that once in a while."
A chapter focussed on Regina & Emma interaction, with a sad ending (sorry!). I am quite happy with this one, so please review?