Chapter 18

(Read and Review please. I don't own any Twilight characters.)

Hmmm… He chuckles a bit shaking his head. Edward puts out his cigarette and leans back in his chair. He crosses his arms behind his head. What does one say to that? How does one even act? I was always the one in the shadows… I was by far a leader. Jasper has more skills when it comes to something like that. So were my decisions? What choices will I make?

"Come the fuck on…" I half growl and rise pulling Bella into my chest.

I roll my eyes at this. I take notice the three of them following behind me as I carry her.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" I snap looking back to them.

They all look to one another confused.

"What exactly is it you wish of us Master?"

"Jesus Christ don't call me that! I'm not your god damn Master!"

They were pissing me the fuck off. I wanted to focus on Bella. Yet here they were following me like stray dogs being fed for the first time.

"Edward… you became our Master the day you put Carlisle in his place. We've been without a master since. We follow you now." Emmett says.

I laugh.

"That's impossible."

"We felt it the moment you left. It wasn't just your bond that was broken. Ours was as well."

"None of this makes sense!"

Jasper smiles.

"Well I for one would much rather serve you."

"Why must you serve anyone? Why must I?"
They look to me confused.

"You want to know what it is I wish? What your direct orders are from me?"

Jasper nods.

"Be free. Go where you want. Live how you want."

He smiles and crosses his arms about his chest.

"I am where I want to be."

"Same here." Alice says with a smile.

"Ditto." Emmett adds with a shrug.

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I don't have time for this."

I ignore them as they continue to follow me. I push out their thoughts. Bella groans out in my arms. She'd lost weight, her lips were severely chapped, and she was even paler than usual.

"Jesus, how long as she been like this?" I question as I lay her down in the grass looking her over.

I wince as I target their minds. It wasn't long after I'd left. She spent about a week being pissed even avoiding the coven. But the coven pushed their way back into her life. Honestly, I was taken back. Each one honestly gave a damn about Bella Swan. Each one had grown attached to her. Alice was the most broken about all this. It was Emmett that had told Bella the truth. He'd told her about what I'd done. About how I killed Tanya and left directly after. He literally had to hold her down as she had a full on panic attack. I'd spent all this time fighting Alice's ability so they couldn't find me. I'd purposely hopped the globe not staying in any one place for too long. If I'd any clue… Now here she lies in my arms. Slowly destructing and all because of me...

Now a different kind of anger resided within me. It was all directed at myself. How could I let all this happen? How could I let her get this fucking bad! Since when does Edward Cullen just GIVE THE FUCK UP?! I didn't even fight this. I just took her word for truth on how she felt. I saw no reason for her NOT to hate me now. She should! She should despise our very existence. Why would I want to stay and live each day in that pathetic town to have it shoved in my damn face? To have her sit beside me each day in lab, only to be reminded I can no longer have her! To have her body and scent play a cruel game with my emotions. I'd be forever tempted to compel her back into that bathroom as such the first time we met. Only this time I'd want much, much more. I'd have ended up being Jasper. I'd want to fuck and feed from her each god damn day. Dark? Yes. Fucked up? Yes! Honest? Yes! She's a drug I can't possibly quit she pacifies my every need. So what the hell was my problem? Why did I just up and leave?

I half laugh in spite myself and roughly run my fingers through my hair as I crouch over her.

"Leave us." I demand and they nod without argument.

I narrow my eyes at this realizing I felt the power behind this. The moment I barked out the order I felt the surge flow through my being. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. The three of them walk away. Bella's body shoots up not long after. I find myself sighing in relief.

"Edward?"

I nod but continue to watch her every move. I listen to every sound her body makes. I picked up her erratic heart pattern, how she was swallowing back, and the sound of her blood pumping through her veins. She narrows her eyes as if in disbelief I was even really there. She reaches out a couple of fingers and runs them along my cheek. Bella let's out a soft gasp as she pulls back. But then something happens I didn't truly expect. She shoots to her feet. Her face becomes red with fury. Her fists ball up.

She grits her teeth and I'm confused as hell as I come to my feet. I do my best to read her as she starts pacing the ground. This right here was one of our biggest fights ever…

"YOU! You just left! You just gave up just like that! Just disappeared!"

I cock a brow at this and cross my arms. She does that nervous laugh thing she does and cuts me a look of complete HELL.

"Now tell me again who dumped who?!"

"OH come on Edward! She was screwing my father! Of course I was emotionally screwed up! How was I supposed to feel about that?! That and it wasn't exactly like that!"

"I Know I should have prevented such a thing! I was meant to protect not only you but Charlie!"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"No it's what I'm saying!"

"Why did you give up Edward?!"

"Why did YOU!" I fire back.

She rears back on this.

"I'm not the one that left."

"No you're just the one that said it was over! You're so fucking innocent let me tell you…"

"FUCK YOU!"

"NAH, YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU BELLA SWAN! YOU TOOK MY GOD DAMN HEART AND RIPPED IT OUT OF MY CHEST! YOU TOOK MY HEART AND SOUL LOCKED IT AWAY AND I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK!"

"YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT!"

"AM I? TELL ME HOW IT REALLY IS BELLA? I SWEAR TO GOD YOU FUCKING PISS ME OFF MORE THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HATE YOUR GOD DAMN GUTS OR FUCK THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU!"

"WOULDN'T HATING ME BE EASIER? THERE'S NO MORE NEED TO FEEL YOU HAVE TO PROTECT MY SORRY ASS! YOU COULD BE FREE TO DO WHATEVER THE LIVING HELL YOU WANTED!"

"YOU'RE IMPOSSIPLE!"

"YOU'RE A HOT HEADED PAIN IN THE ASS!"

"WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? HUH! YOU PASS THE FUCK OUT THE MOMENT YOU SEE ME! NOW YOU ACT AS IF YOU WISH YOU NEVER SAW ME! Hell you're acting as if you truly hate me!"

"I WANT TO."
I have a good laugh at this.

"I could compel it if you so wish. Make you forget my very existence or make you flat out HATE ME!"

"You would love that wouldn't you!"

"JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL BELLA!"

She screams out and punches at a tree. I grab her and pen her against the tree.

"If that's what you wish then I'll make you forget!"

She punches me in the face and shoves me back.

"Don't you fucking dare! Don't you dare make me forget EDWARD CULLEN!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS! Why DAMN it!" I pace the area.

She grabs at her gut.

"Because I'm wildly in love with you, I can't breathe without you! I can't think! I can't live! I'm nothing without you!"

"Then why the hell Bella! Why did you dump me?! And why are you acting this way if that's true!"

"Because I love my father too! My head was clouded I couldn't think! I did the first thing that came to mind! You don't get it Edward. You're not seeing the real picture! I was just so mad at that BITCH! And you weren't exactly paying attention!" What the hell does that mean?

She leans against the tree looking to the ground.

"I've also realized something else."
"What?" I half hiss afraid to know.

"I want to be with you. Only… as more… I wish to wait though until…"
"Um no…"

She looks to me and rears back. I roll my eyes and laugh at this.

"You're not doing that!"

"What?"

"Don't you dare say what I think you're about to! Not after all this! "

"So you don't want me now?"

"The fuck I don't! But I can't have this game with you! Either you want to be with me or you don't. I can't have you pulling this! If you want to be with me then there's no going back. You don't come back to me unless you mean it. You fucking killed me BELLA!"

"And what do you think you did to me by giving up so easily! YOU JUST GAVE UP AND TURNED YOUR BACK TO ME EDWARD!"

"YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T WANT ME ANYMORE!"

"AND YOU WERE SO QUICK TO BELIEVE ME!"

I stumble back on this for once my jaw COMPLETELY DROPS.

"I SAID THAT BECAUSE OF TANYA! All of it was lies! LIES EDWARD!"
I continue to stumble back. I felt sick as the realization plays out. What she says next…

"I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU EVEN THEN THE WORDS KILLED ME WHEN I SAID IT! I SAID IT SO SHE'D LEAVE MY DAD ALONE! IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HIM EDWARD IT WOULD KILL ME! BESIDES YOU HE'S ALL I HAVE! I WILL ALWAYS PROTECT MY FATHER. I SAID THOSE THINGS TO MANIPULATE HER! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M SO PISSED! THE TRICK WAS ON HER AND YET YOU BOLTED WITHOUT FURTHER QUESTIONING IT."

"You had a fucking gun Bella aimed right for us!"

"Who did I shoot Edward?"

I half growl as it all replays.

"I'm not that good of an actress!"

"I don't play these games!"

"NEITHER DO I! And I never blamed you for what that BITCH did! NOT ONCE! Damn it Edward!"

We both lock eyes staring each other down like a couple vultures. We even walked along in a circle, both our hands in fists. I zip over and grab her. I come to the ground bracing her with one arm catching our fall with the other. I eagerly kiss her lips and start literally shredding her clothes off. I'm humping her like an animal. Before I can clearly think I'm fucking her like one too. My nails dig into the earth beneath us as I'm driving myself into her. Bella rips my shirt open. I growl out and toss it the rest of the way off me. Her nails claw at my back and is actually biting at my neck. Keeping in mind she was still human was hard as hell now. I grit my teeth as she continues to bite along my neck every once in a while licking the area she was biting down on. I'm stroking myself in and out of her she was nice, tight and sopping wet. I run my tongue along her's loving the feeling of her hot breath inside my mouth, even more when she moaned against my tongue. I pull back in the heat of the passion I look her in the eyes.

"When do you wish to join my side?" I say demandingly but with the heat of the moment fluidly flowing through my words.

"After graduation… During the summer."

I nod at this. Half disappointed in the wait. But it wouldn't be long now. I come to a selfish grin though and whisper.

"Then you had better not bite down too hard my dear. We don't want any accidents."

She bites her lower lip but smiles. The little minx however nuzzles against my neck. My eyes widen and I lose my load completely as her teeth bite down even harder. My nails dig even dipper into the ground. That animalistic growl escapes my mouth. If this is how our sex life is now… Damn… I can't wait for a vampiric Bella!

I pull her into my chest afterword, both of us completely nude just lying in the middle of the woods somewhere in Canada. At least I think we're in Canada somewhere. I hadn't paid much attention in my travels. So three more months… I think to myself. I'll finally have my bride. But now I'd another decision to think about. But I look to Bella in thought. This was something I felt we needed to discuss together. She was to be my bride. I felt she had just as much decision in this as I had. Yes as my bride she's to follow whatever my wishes are, however that in mind. I still wanted to abide by her wishes as well.

Bella starts to giggle against me. I cock a brow curiously and kiss the top of her head.

"What are you laughing about sweetheart?"

"How crazy we are? Come on Edward we go from practically ripping each other apart to having hot sex."

"Hmmm… soul mates Bella… we're more alike than you think. We fight the way we do because of our passion and love for one another. Think about it… We both completely shut down without the other. We both can be irrational and…"
"Ugh.."

"What?"

"I'm gonna be a bitchy vampire!"

I have a good laugh at this.

"No comment."

She hits me in the arm.

"Ah, Isabella…" I shake my head but can't stop grinning.

"I suppose we had better head back to Washington." But I narrow my eyes in thought.

I wasn't sure where to go. I mean me personally… Guess I'll figure that out when I get there. For now Bella needed to get home. I was sure Charlie was beginning to concern himself of her whereabouts. I was also about to do something else against her wishes. But she's to be my bride she's already agreed to this. As we both come to our feet. I cup her chin and look her in the eyes.

"Bella, you will no longer cause harm to yourself, you're to take better care of yourself, and you will start eating three meals a day. You will stay properly hydrated and you will no longer consume alcohol to the point of self-destruction. After I get you home you're to shower, dress, eat a good meal and get straight to bed where you will rest and let your body recoup. Do you understand? I won't have this anymore."

She nods and blinks a few times. I say nothing else on this and kiss her forehead. I then pick her up.

"Close your eyes and hold on we got a little ways to go."

And yes we were still very much in the buff, making this all the more reason to hurry. After too much longer I appear at her window. Quietly I lift in seeing as how Charlie was home.

"I'll be back I promise."

This poor girl gives me a sheer look of panic and clings to my arm.

"Bella sweetheart I need you to trust me. Now go do what you were told." Her eyes blink again proving the compulsion was still there.

She swallows back and nods.

"Good girl. I'll be back." I kiss her lips and leap back down.

Now I'd the coven and Carlisle to face… I grimace in thought as I light a cigarette. All I knew was I wasn't about to make a decision just yet. I'd hear them out for now. I'd gather every bit of information needed and from all sides. I even prepared for a few fights to break out. I take a long drag off my cigarette and look back towards Bella's bedroom once more. I give it a simple nod and head to the coven house. I just wasn't sure what all to expect.