coarse language warning; this chapter has Mundungus Fletcher in it.

Chapter 19: a load of Dung

It was three days before Kreacher turned up and bowed sketchily to Sirius. "Fletcher knows how to avoid capture, has many hidey-holes and accomplices. But Kreacher has him cornered; the thief will be in the dungeon immediately."

"Excellent, well done!" said Sirius, and hurried to the dungeon, calling on the close Blooded.

-/-

The tangled mass of limbs that was Mundungus Fletcher in the tight grip of the elderly house elf arrived swearing out of thin air; and went for his wand the moment Kreacher disentangled himself to bow to Sirius. It was Hermione who cast Expelliarmus and caught the thief's wand as it flew up into the air. Mundungus, wild-eyed, tried to break and run; but the solid bulks of Ron, Neville, Draco and Harry moved faster.

"What?" he cried "What have I done?" writhing as Severus took a firm hold of him. "Settin' a bleedin' house elf on me, wha've I done, lemme go, lemme go, or…"

"Or what, I hand you over to the aurors with a formal charge of theft from my house?" said Sirius furiously "I trusted you in Grimmauld Place, the whole Order trusted you, and now I learn you were stealing from me."

"Well you never cared about that junk, did yer?" said Fletcher sulkily, then howled as Kreacher picked up one of the shackles that lay about the floors and hit him with it. "Keep 'im orf me! Call 'im orf, 'e should be locked up! Bleedin' nutter of a house elf!"

"One more for luck, Master?" said Kreacher hopefully.

Sirius grinned.

"Why not?" he said.

Fletcher cringed and the elf hefted the heavy manacle again and struck as high as he could reach. As this was a rather tender place, Fletcher doubled up, retching.

All the males present winced; and Hermione, Krait and Bil grinned openly.

"That's enough, Kreacher, we need him conscious and able to answer questions" said Sirius. "Now, when you stripped my house, what did you do with a locket with a stylised 'S' on the front?"

"Why?" asked Mundungus "Is it valuable?"

"He's still got it!" said Hermione.

"Nah" said Ron shrewdly "He's wondering whether he should have asked more for it."

"More?" said Mundungus "That would've been effing difficult…. I 'and ter give it away. No choice!"

"What do you mean?" several people asked sharply.

"It were in Diagon Alley; this snoopin' witch asks me if I got a licence for trading in magical artifacts….bleedin' hag-spawn. She was gonna fine me, but she took a fancy to the locket an' told me she'd take that and let me orf that time an' I should fink meself lucky."

"And who was this witch?" asked Harry, with a sudden bad feeling.

"I dunno, some Ministy bitch." He thought, wrinkling his brow. "Little woman; stupid bow on top of her head. Looked like a toad in a pink cardi."

There was a collective gasp.

"Umbridge!" said Harry.

"So" said Krait, coldly "We know she's out of commission; and no personal effects allowed in Azhkaban. "Right, Dung, Sirius will not pursue this matter – or any other minor unconsidered trifles you've nicked from him – IF you atone for this theft by re-stealing it from the witch's house. We can tell you where she lived; it should be easy enough."

"And I get to keep the goblets and the other rub – er, stuff?" asked Mundungus Fletcher eagerly.

Sirius sighed.

"I want to see the goblets in question; if none have any sentimental value to me and IF you manage to retrieve the locket, you may keep what you stole. Don't EVER steal from me again; or I'll order Kreacher to do whatever he likes to you."

Mundungus whinnied in terror.

"Awright….gimme the address, and I'll be back in two shakes!"

-/-

Another two days passed after Mundungus Fletcher was allowed to leave and Sirius was getting irritable.

"By Merlin, if he's decided to do a runner, he'll feel my wrath – or rather, he'll feel Kreacher's!" he growled.

"Kreacher will punish the thief!" squawked Kreacher, proud as punch to be able to work on Regulus' last orders; and to be given, on Krait's advice, the Black locket that Regulus had died to switch for the Horcrux. He wore it constantly.

"Doesn't it constitute clothes and make him free?" wondered Hermione.

"It's strictly speaking an accessory, not clothing" said Krait "But maybe, if he's allowed to continue to work for the Black family, Sirius will be able to reward him by giving him Regulus' old Slytherin scarf or something. Don't rush it."

"Kreacher doesn't want to be free, Miss Muggle-born" admonished the house elf. "But Kreacher DOES want to hurt the thief Fletcher."

"Another day" said Sirius "Maybe he ran into trouble."

Next day, an owl arrived for Sirius; a rather mangy looking bird. It brought a note from Mundungus.

"Searched her house from top to bottom. No sign of the bleeding locket. What now?"

Sirius cursed.

"Was she in possession of it when she was arrested?" asked Severus. "It might have been taken from her, and boxed up with her personal possessions pending her release from Azhkaban."

"I'd have seen it if she was wearing it in the class when I faked the Dark Mark on her" said Krait "And I reckon I'd have recognised it from Grimmauld Place, even though I didn't know it was my Grandmamma's. If she owned it then she wasn't wearing it."

Hermione was staring at her.

"Wait a minute – all her other clothes and things were left here when they took her away! Boxed up and put in the attics….do you mean to say it's possible it has been HERE all the time?"

Krait's mouth dropped open.

"Hermione! I believe you may be right! Well THAT's easy to find out…it's MY locket, it ought to respond to me….accio locket!"

"Which is all very well if it's not in a locked box" said Ron "Otherwise don't you think that my brothers would all have as easily retrieved their confiscated stuff and lost property from Argus Filch long since?"

"That's a point" said Krait. "Well, let's do it the muggle way by traipsing our poor little legs up to the attics and picking a few locks."

"Alohamora ought to work" said Hermione seriously.

"Though not as much fun…" Krait murmured.

"What shall I write to Dung?" said Sirius.

"Tell him to hold himself in waiting on our need for his skills; but that since he has failed we plan to try other means" said Krait. "Keep him on tenterhooks over whether you plan to let Kreacher loose on him. It might not be there; and then we can threaten to make him burgle the ministry."

Sirius chuckled nastily.

"That'd make him sweat!" he said cheerfully. "I'll hint at that in the letter. He'll be glad to be let off with returning my goblets with Kreacher to help him find them!"

-/-

It took several sweaty, cobwebby hours to find the box with Dolores Umbridge's possessions in it; and longer, in unpacking it, to let the boys get over their hilarity over her very frilly underwear.

Draco could not resist pulling on a pair of her knickers and one of her fluffiest cardigans and declaiming in his usual excellent mimicry of her high pitched voice

"Progress for progress sake must be discouraged! It is only proper that stupidity must be the rule of the day and that wizarding families must be allowed to go mad and die out from inbreeding rather than take on muggle blood!"

Harry shuddered.

"Too lifelike, Draco!" he said "Take them off; you don't look enough like a frog, and no Weasley moments to provide you with a model."

"Oy!" said Ron "Casting that up at me!"

"It was a damn good Weasley moment and gave us the Loo network" said Krait, hastily "Take them off, Draco, you might catch silly old bat-ness. I have the locket; it was in her jewel box."

Draco grinned cheerfully and complied.

"WELL!" said Hermione "So it WAS here all the time!"

"And a sight better than having to infiltrate the Ministry to get the stored effects of prisoners" said Harry in heartfelt relief. "How are we going to destroy it?"

"How did you destroy the diary, Harry?" asked Krait patiently.

"With the Basilisk tooth" said Harry.

"Which is where?"

"Chamber of Secrets" said Harry.

Ron groaned.

"After dragging all the way to the top of the castle we now have to drag all the way down to the bottom?"

"Spot on" said Krait.

Kreacher tugged at her robes.

"Miss Krait, Master Sirius promised Kreacher should help destroy it…it is Miss Krait's family locket, I heard you say?"

Krait nodded.

"And you shall, Kreacher; I want to be part of destroying it too, because it was my Grandmamma's; and I feel responsible. We'll do it together, hmm?"

Kreacher nodded ecstatically.

-/-

The locket was large; as big as a chicken's egg, the letter 'S' inscribed on it with tiny green stones that gleamed as well as they might in the grubby state in which the locket was. Krait could feel a malevolent pseudo intelligence to it as she carried it down, and exerted all her occlumency skills to resist its evil emanations.

They duly convened in the chamber of secrets, and Krait gave Kreacher one of the teeth to hold.

"You know, Albus destroyed the ring with Gryffindor's sword" said Severus "Goblin steel has significant magical properties…"

"It's more poetic to use the basilisk tooth" said Krait. "Because it's Salazar's snake and Salazar's locket and so he'd want to use his tools to put right the damage caused using his family heirlooms. It has SYMMETRY."

Hermione nodded.

"I agree. It is symbolically important" she said.

"I think we have to open it" said Harry "And then be prepared for it to attack us, like the book attacked…."

Krait nodded.

"It'll open for a Parselmouth…." She said "I KNOW that in my bones. It'll look for the HERO to attack, though; it'll go for Harry. I think that Riddle, who is an insignificant little creep who likes to look down on others would not even consider a house elf to be a risk" she smiled at Kreacher "So you SHOULD be safe. Sirius will stand by you and defend you while you destroy it."

"With my life if need be" growled Sirius "For what must be done; for what you tried to do before, and for my brother who tried to do right and died for it."

"MASTER!" gasped Kreacher, deeply moved.

"Don't get sentimental" grunted Sirius.

"On my mark…." Said Krait "Three…two….one….MARK… ssssOPENssss she added in Parseltongue.

Ghostly figures of Ron and Hermione appeared from the eye, Tom Riddle's eye, within the locket, as Harry too stood by. Each in turn accused Harry of letting them stand to take damage for him. Sirius too was taunted by a figure of his mother, and a brother still committed to the Death Eaters' cause. True to Krait's belief, the locket's malevolent intelligence concentrated on the minds of those humans present; and she gritted her teeth to ignore a shimmering and lordly Draco telling her that she would never be worthy to be his kin, and an equally exaggerated, sneering Severus pointing out that she was nothing compared to Lily.

"Strike, Kreacher" she said.

The tiny figure brought the basilisk tooth down on the locket.

The eye was gone; the glass in both halves broken, and the faded, rotting silk lining smoked gently.

"It is dead" said Krait softly. "Thank you Kreacher; you are the hero of the hour" and she kissed the wrinkled elf on the forehead.

Kreacher blushed.

"I done what Master ordered" he said with deep relief.

"You did" said Sirius "You did that well. I am well pleased with you Kreacher; and glad to be your master."

"Kreacher is proud to be Master Sirius' elf" said Kreacher "We didn't understand each other at first."

"Sirius was damaged by his stay in Azkaban" said Krait "It made him tetchy. I'm sure he's very sorry."

"Yeah" said Sirius "And I guess you were tetchy because of not being able to do as Regulus said. We're both nice as pie, now, right?"

"Kreacher is happy now" said Kreacher. "If Kreacher dies now, he will be ready to go."

"Kreacher is not likely to die now he's happy enough to eat properly" said Krait dryly. "Anyone mind if I keep the battered remains of my family locket? It was the inside that had to be destroyed…it's still Slytherin's locket on the outside."

"You keep it mate" said Ron "Poor little Merope would like to see it again I bet."

"Yes" said Krait "And if I survive this, I shall jolly well wear it too, once I've put the two halves back together. It's battle scarred; but then, being battlescarred sorts those of us who fight from the rest."

"That's three down; four to go" said Harry. "The cup; the snake; the watch; and – me."

"If Albus is right" said Krait. "He has an horridly bad habit of it though. Still" she brightened "If he IS right about that, he should also be right about it rebounding on Fishface and that HAS to be good."

"Yeah!" Harry brightened "I guess so!"

"And now" said Sirius silkily "I shall write again to Mundungus and tell him we have succeeded where he has failed because he is – how was it you put it to that group of errant would-be potioneers, Scales?"

"Inept, inutile, incompetent and in trouble" said Severus serenely.

"Kreacher can deliver the letter" said Sirius "And let him sweat about whether he is to bring Mundungus back as the reply."

Kreacher chuckled creakily. It was not a pleasant sound; but at least better than his previous whining monologues!