Author's note: Okay guys, there's one more chapter after this already done, although I haven't gotten it back from my beta yet. I need to check with her because there's a chance it's done and lost in the ether…but either way, posts are going to drop off drastically after this. I'm hoping though that this chapter will give you what you need to make it through till then ;)

Big thanks as always to AgoodWITCH for her beta work and for being my fanfiction bodyguard. I love her hard!

The first few days we were home was a chaotic whirlwind. We had to help mom decorate the house for us, which meant a ton of prep work, a full day of fussing over making sure the food was replenished on the buffet as everyone slowly munched their way through the day, trying to carry on conversations with people we barely knew, and then cleaning up in the aftermath. We were all so tired; we opted to save our family present opening for the next morning. With a chorus of exhausted good nights and love you's, we all made our way to bed.

I lay there for a long time, tossing and turning before I finally gave up, wrapping myself in the soft white down comforter Mom put on my bed every winter, and shuffled down to the living room. I sighed in appreciation to see that the fireplace was still crackling and giving off fragrant warmth. I stepped over to the corner, plugging in the tiny white lights to illuminate the tree before moving to the double wide plush rocker that faced the picture window with a beautiful view of the back yard and curled up with a contented sigh.

As I watched the scurrying bunnies in the yard and the single deer moving out to nibble at the corn cob Mom had placed out on the feeder that morning, a slow shower of massive white flakes began to float down in a beautiful display of winter perfection. I smiled happily, suppressing the urge to go wake Mom so she could share in the scene as I curled my knees up to my chest and tightened the blanket around my shoulders.

I don't know how long I had been sitting there, enjoying the beautiful flurry of perfect white flakes falling on the scene before me like the tiny artificial flakes inside a snow globe, but before I knew it, the world outside the window was covered in a thick blanket of white. The full moon peeked out from behind the clouds, illuminating the perfect new covering with a light blue glow.

I started to hum 'White Christmas' completely oblivious that I had company until a warm baritone joined my rough alto. I jumped and yelped, earning a chuckle from Edward as he shuffled in, wrapped in his golden comforter, his hair messed beyond its usual chaos.

I rested my hand over my pounding heart as I hissed at him in a whisper. "Shit, Edward. You scared me half to death!"

He cocked his head. "After death? How can I scare you after death?"

I rolled my eyes as he settled in next to me with a smirk. "You know I said HALF Toooo Death, you dork, so don't even try it."

"Not what it sounded like. I think that should be your new nickname. Hmmm…Afterdeath…it sounds kinda goth. I like it!"

I snorted, elbowing him through our comforters, which meant I didn't really do anything much at all, but he still leaned over like I maimed him, and pouted at me. Once he was done goofing around, he turned to look outside with a sigh.

"Wow…that's beautiful. I haven't seen a blanket of snow that soft looking in years!"

I sighed with a smile, snuggling back into my corner of the rocker as Edward shifted his feet to rock us softly forward and back.

"Yeah…I think the last time was what, freshman year of high school? We spent all day building forts and snowmen before having the mother of all snowball fights. That was pretty awesome."

He smiled at me as he nodded slowly, his eyes sort of cloudy as he became lost in his own memories. I sighed, turning to look out the window so I didn't get caught staring at Edward, who looked even better than usual as the light from the fireplace provided backlighting, making his red highlights seem brighter. He also had a light scruff in need of a shave that made me want to reach out and just brush my hand across it, but I knew I couldn't. Even looking away, I still couldn't take my mind off of it, so I abruptly brought up another topic of conversation.

"So, did you survive today? I noticed Jessica and Lauren each managed to corner you."

I glanced to see Edward glaring at me slightly. "Yeah and you did nothing to save me. Some sister you are!"

I scoffed. "Hey, you were the one who banged them. I figure if you're low enough to actually mount them, then you should be able to carry on a conversation with them." I suppressed the grimace at my tone. Apparently the jealous rage I had felt when I watched them hadn't passed completely yet.

His glare turned into a frown. "Wow, that was harsh. What's up with that?"

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "It's truth, Edward. Actions have consequences, and the consequence of you getting your rocks off with the skankaho twins is that you now have to socialize with them when we come home and act civil. Meanwhile, my life as a quasi nun leaves me listening to Old Lady Cope talk about her precious pussies and the outfits she knits them for each holiday. Merry Christmas to me!"

Edward snorted next to me, shaking his head lightly as he lifted his hand, pretending to play the smallest violin in the world. I always hated when he did it and he did it often.

"Oh I feel SOOO sorry for you, Isabella."

I leaned into his side with wide eyes and big overdone pout. "Well you should. I was bored to tears today. I hate those parties. I wish Mom would let it just be all of us just ONE year, ya know? I'd love to have a calm quiet Christmas with my family."

Edward nodded his agreement as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I snuggled into his side and rested my head on his chest as he wrapped my shoulders in his comforter, tugging me closer. I felt happy and dizzy all at once. After finals week, he was my comfort and my danger, my peace and my dread. It was all so confusing.

Edward tensed, his heart speeding audibly under his ribs, as my body grew tight next to him in my mental distress. He let out a sad sigh before shifting me to look at him.

"I fucked everything up with us, didn't I?"

My eyes betrayed me as I shook my head slowly. "You didn't do anything…but it's kind of weird. How can one person be your safe place and your danger zone? I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to lose our friendship, but…"

My heart was pounding in my chest as he stared down at me, his hand tightening on my shoulder as our faces hovered just a few short inches apart. The time we looked at each other seemed like an eternity within the course of a few seconds. I watched Edward's eyes as they danced with the same conflicted flood of emotions as I was feeling within myself. We both froze in our indecision, just staring, until finally Edward's eyes blinked once before growing wide in an instant before the fire inside them settled on resigned determination.

Suddenly, he surprised me as he closed the space between us, capturing my lips with his. I gasped behind his closed lips, my eyes wide open in shock before the sensation of his warm soft lips on mine made them roll in their sockets before fluttering closed as my lips automatically kissed him back. Edward's right hand slid up to cup my cheek as the other pulled me closer, crushing our chests together as a deep rumble vibrated from deep within him. I felt myself involuntarily whimper, my hands sliding up into his hair and holding his face to mine.

I had never felt anything so wonderful. The moment our lips touched, I knew I had been a fool to ever think that Riley was a good kisser. Just this simple, chaste touch of our lips turned my insides into oozing, melty goo.

We moved closer, hugging our bodies together as we kissed softly and gently, tipping our faces to improve the contact but never deepening the kiss. Eventually we broke away to stare at each other with concerned and amazed eyes.

"That was…holy hell," Edward blinked slowly as he slid his thumb over my cheek softly, lovingly.

I nodded minutely, unable to look away from his eyes, which continued to search mine. "That was the most mind-blowing kiss I've ever had," I whispered shyly, leaning my face into his hand as I nibbled nervously on my bottom lip.

Edward's eyes moved to my lips, gently prying my bottom lip free from my teeth with his thumb before rubbing it across my lips tenderly, reverently. "Me too."

I sat up, staring at him in shock as he watched me intently. "But…but you…you've been with so many beautiful, skilled women. How could a kiss like that be the best?"

He smirked gently at me as he moved to lean in closer again, cupping my cheek with his hand once more before leaning in to caress my lips with his again. My heart ached in amazingly wonderful ways; ways that I thought were just a myth. They were no myth, though; it actually was possible to be so happy that it hurt because I was certainly experiencing it firsthand.

He broke the kiss, smiling brightly at me as he sighed. "That kiss was the best because it was with you. I've told you before that I never have been with someone I loved. When there's no emotion there, it's all lust and hormones. It's hot, but it's not like that, not like someone just set my heart on fire. You're the only person who has ever been able to make my heart race from just being close to them."

I stared at him, mouth hanging open in shock as he chuckled at me, shaking his head as he tugged me to his chest again, leaning back against the back of the rocker and relaxing with a sigh. "My silly, beautiful Bella, I've pretty much loved you since I was ten years old, and you never suspected a thing."

I felt like I was falling down the rabbit hole, suddenly fearful that I was about to wake up alone in my bed, and this had all been a dream. Was it possible? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I knew I always cared very deeply about him, but I had always pushed it aside due to our circumstances. Was it possible it was love? Were we in love? Had we been since we were kids? It just seemed so…impossible.

"It's so unbelievable." I finally whispered as my thoughts came round full circle again for the third time since he'd settled us back on the rocker.

Edward ran his fingers through my hair, before kissing the top of my head. "Maybe, but it's no less true. Unfortunately, the reason I resisted for all these years hasn't changed. It's still going to be a big problem for our family and people who know us. I don't know what to do about it, but I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella. I've been doing it for half my life and I refuse to do it anymore. I can't stand to bide my time meeting my basic physical needs and ignoring my emotional ones, and if I ever have to see another guy kiss you or touch you in my presence again, I will be going to prison for first degree murder. I refuse to hide anymore. If this is what you want, then we'll figure something out…somehow."

I shifted, bracing my hands against his chest as I leaned up to look in his worried eyes. It astounded me that he would even begin to think I wasn't right here with him. I nibbled my lip as I looked up at him, the tears I'd been pushing back slipped past my lids to slither down my cheek where Edward quickly reached up to wipe away.

"I want it more than anything, Edward. Honestly, I do. I just don't want to hurt everyone else."

He sighed, relief and understanding in his eyes as he captured my face between his hands, gently pulling me up to his face again. This time he parted his lips and I copied him, my body tingling as our breath combined and intermingled a moment before I felt his tongue gently caress my lips. I reached out my tongue to touch his, sending shocks through my body.

I shifted on my knees, leaning closer as my body demanded to close the space. Edward moaned, his hand tightening in my hair as he anchored me to his body, our tongues massaging and teasing between our open mouths.

Eventually a need for oxygen forces us to break away as we panted in one another's faces, our eyes wild and filled with the burst of desire that had just flooded both of us. I knew what we were doing was dangerous, but until that moment, I had no idea exactly how right I was. We were always drawn to one another, but what neither of us ever suspected was now blatantly obvious. Our coming together, even in the simplest ways, was incendiary. The heat just that kiss alone brought was so much more than I ever imagined. I wanted more. Like a drug. Like an addiction. When the two of us came together, it was instant ignition, like Napalm. Once the burn started, it was going to be impossible to put it out. And just like Napalm, we could easily scorch everything else we loved in an instant by moving forward.

We stared at each other for a long moment, calculating, trying to push the desire to caress and touch again and again as we struggled to keep our rational minds focused. This was going to change everything. Was I really ready? Could we handle it?

I felt my body vibrating with fear and tension. I wanted to touch him so badly, but I was scared. I was so new to all of this. I'd never even actually had an orgasm that wasn't self induced. Was I ready for so much, well, EVERYTHING?

Edward looked worried as he reached forward, rubbing his hand gently up and down my arm. Goosebumps rose under his touch as the napalm ignited again under my skin. My eyes welled with tears as I realized that there was no choice, no going back, things would never, ever be the same again, and I wasn't strong enough to resist.

With a small whimper, I folded into Edward's chest, my nose buried in his neck, my arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Edward folded me in his arms, whispering calming words as he caressed my hair, his feelings for me easing my panic as I took a deep breath of his calming scent. My body relaxed instantly into his as the feeling of home engulfed me. Now that I had given in, everything was finally in place, and it was like my whole body was at peace.

After a long moment, I nervously leaned up to look into Edward's concerned eyes, a small smile on my lips.

"I know I'm acting like a crazy person, but I think I finally understand now. I…I don't know how everyone else will handle it, but you and me…we're meant to be. We were always meant to be."

Edward smiled, his eyes softening as his hands slid to cup my cheeks again. I could see the same exhaustion of the emotional rollercoaster ride in his eyes that I felt in my own.

"We'll figure it out, love. One way or another, I promise. For now, let's just enjoy being together and not really let anyone else know. I want to have this just for us for a while before we bring the insanity in on us, don't you think?"

I nodded groggily, my eyes starting to feel heavier than they had previously in the night. Edward smiled, pushing my hair behind my ear before nodding toward the stairs.

"Come on, baby, let's get you tucked into bed. We can talk about all of this when we aren't as tired."

I tried and failed to suppress a yawn before nodding gently. Edward stood up, reaching to help me rise to stand beside him. He moved to turn off the tree before walking back to offer me a hand. I smiled and took it before allowing him to lead me up the staircase to the door of my bedroom.

He opened it slowly and led me to the side of my bed, leaning down to kiss my lips gently before directing me to lie down. With a soft smile, he tucked the comforter around me and kissed my forehead before bidding me sweet dreams and leaving me.

I laid in my childhood bed, remembering my life in this house, and the first time Edward ever came into my room. I rolled over with a sigh, hugging my extra pillow to my chest and smiled. My life had changed so drastically over the past ten years, but for the first time, I felt like my life was finally heading in the direction it was meant to go all along. I knew that it wouldn't be perfect or easy, but I knew it was right. I would be clinging to that belief tightly for the next several months, as Edward and I eked out a life for ourselves outside the scrutiny of prying eyes.