Chapter 27: A Selection of Trouble

It was a well known fact amongst the staff that the Spring Term was more likely to bring mischief than any other. In the Yule term, the run-up to the Yule Ball and Holiday usually caused enough excitement that the bad weather was not important; but the wet, miserable days of January and February, often stretching into March, let to high spirits being directed at less than accepted activities.

The first piece of mischief was a dirty trick in no uncertain terms.

Pansy Parkinson was not the only girl to have wanted Draco's attention at the Yule Ball; he was, after all, one of the most eligible bachelors in the wizarding world. And one of Claire Barret's classmates, a Ravenclaw girl, had been certain SHE could capture his attention. The girl, Helen Marriott, was the child of a witch and a muggle, but her father was a well paid actor and Helen was his princess. Her air of sophistication and carelessly thrown around wealth had attracted several Hufflepuff girls to worship as the vain girl's cronies; and had Claire been one of them, Helen might have forgiven Draco's attentions to her. But Claire did NOT give unthinking allegiance to Helen; and Helen wanted to pay her back. Consequently she suggested to Claire's dorm mates that putting dirt and mess in Claire's bed would be a good idea..

What was not a good idea was the reverse cleaning spell that they thought would do very well.

The girls involved did not understand the nature of the dirt removing spell; and consequently the toxic monster that they summoned was a shock to them.

It took Professor Sprout several hours to sort out the ensuing chaos; and both girls involved ended up on the sick list with diseases caught from the dirt. The only bright point was that Helen went straight to Professor Sprout to confess to the idea of messing with Claire's bed.

"But not to try a reverse cleaning spell?" asked the Professor.

Helen shook her head.

"No, I'm not so daft!" she said indignantly "I'd not know WHAT might come out of the banishing place!"

Sprout ticked her off; but also praised her integrity in owning up and set her a detention writing an essay on the possible effects of dirt from any source. The two girls who got sick were deemed to have punished themselves very effectively with sore throats and high temperatures as well as having suffered the terror of the thing they had created. They were to receive a tongue lashing only on their return from the sanatorium!

-/-

The second piece of mischief was set by Colin Weasley and friends – Jasper, Pris, Hayley, Ed and Em – to catch out those followers of Helen who had NOT been caught out by catching numerous diseases and who pretended to have nothing to do with it. It was a deadfall of rubbish from bins; and it was sheer bad luck that they caught Sirius Black instead of their intended victims.

Sirius set them short essays on the inadvisability of irritating Professors with uncontrolled traps and told them not to catch any more of the staff if they set the wretched thing back up. They took this as tacit permission to do so and duly caught their intended victims in an even better trap, Sirius having murmured something about stuff holding together better in a matrix of something slimy like jelly.

Deadfalls were, after all, quite standard practical jokes; and not driven by the malice the girls had intended towards Claire.

-/-

The next most exciting thing to happen was when Ron ate half a box of chocolate cauldrons, thinking them to be a birthday present to him, when in fact they had fallen off Harry's bed where he had tossed them, and forgotten them, having been given them by Romilda Vane.

Ron started to eulogise the said Romilda, then looked puzzled. Harry sighed, synchronised blood, and Ron looked more and more confused for a minute before saying

"Hey, have I been poisoned or something? I do feel odd."

"We'll get Sev to brew you up a full antidote" said Harry practically "That little cow Romilda Vane just tried to slip me a love potion and you ate it."

"Blimey!" said Ron. "Aren't I supposed to be horridly gooey eyed about her or something?"

"You were – for all of two minutes" said Harry, dryly "I guess the Blood Tie negates poisons too."

"Well!" said Ron "Ain't that something! Glad we found that out relatively harmlessly."

"Yes I couldn't cope with you slopping on about her while Lavender Brown slopped on about you" said Harry "I think Hermione and Krait got rid of her between them though."

"They did?" Ron sounded hopeful.

"They were discussing what a sad affliction it was for your parents knowing you'd inherited Flobberstorm's Weakness from your great uncle and how they hoped you'd not start growing pustulous tumours before you left school" said Harry.

Ron grinned.

"Oh very nice! I never heard of this Flobber – what you said though" he added.

"Of course you haven't – If I know Krait she was making it up as she went along" said Harry.

Ron grinned again.

"I'm glad she's on our side" he said.

Ron was glad to have had his birthday because it meant that he was eligible – as was Hermione – to take the Apparating Licence test. As Krait, being older, had been the previous year, the advantage of an early birthday. Harry was not to be seventeen until the end of July and was not eligible, though perfectly capable.

"Hope I pass first time" said Ron anxiously "Fred and George did."

"Of course you will" said Harry "You're several parts house elf."

"Oh – yeah" Ron grinned sheepishly.

"Destination…determination….deliberation" said Hermione "That's what Wilkie Twycross said when he was teaching us."

"I liked Severus' way of telling it better" said Krait "TRY not to lose concentration about where you plan to go, loss of concentration is loss of several body parts."

"Yeah, well, Scales is rather snide about most things" said Ron.

"Don't you do the arithmancy on it, Hermione?" asked Krait "I do….for long distances you have to take into account the curvature of the earth and do spherical trigonometry…."

Hermione stared.

"Never occurred to me" she said "But wouldn't you have to involve an integral of 'i' in that?"

"Yes, obviously" said Krait.

Hermione went pink.

"I – I think I'll stick to the traditional method of determination and the rest" she said "I don't manage arithmancy as easily as you do." It was said in a small voice.

"You would if it was a long distance; you'd take time to work it out if you weren't certain where you were going" said Krait.

"But you couldn't…." Hermione stared "Yes you could though….using arithmancy means you could apparate somewhere you'd never see, doesn't it, so long as you had the geomantic co-ordinates?"

"Doesn't need to be geomantic…you can do it with ordinary muggle co-ordinates. It's the relationships that count, not the method. You can use satnav data." Said Krait.

"You certainly DO think outside the box!" said Hermione.

"That's her strength" said Harry "She doesn't do things the traditional way….muggle or wizarding; and she happily combines both."

-/-

The test proved no problem to any of the three; and would have been easy enough for Neville, Draco and Harry had they only been permitted to take it.

-/-

Hagrid meanwhile was most upset.

Aragog had been ailing for a while; and he died one night. Hagrid invited his closest friends to a funeral. Security was tight about being out of the castle at night, with aurors all over the place and Filch on guard; and Hermione and Ron were not exactly keen on taking the risk of being caught for a creature they loathed. Harry was torn; it was for support of Hagrid rather than fondness of Aragog.

"I'm going" said David "Hagrid's always been a good friend to me."

Severus chuckled.

"Why not persuade Horace to give you permission, Harry? Tell him what Aragog was and watch his eyes light up at the thought of a hundred galleons a pint for the venom?"

Harry stared.

"Really? Well why don't you tap it and use it to free more elves and feed more orphans? Doing that sort of thing is as much a way to fight Fishface and his ideals as fighting face to face!"

"You may not have noticed Harry, but Hagrid and I do not get on well" said Severus.

"Well then" said Krait "Why don't you go down with Harry and David and ask him outright for the stuff and the reasons to use the money? Hagrid's pretty unworldly, and he'd not think much of you killing Aragog for his poison, but if you asked now he's dead, you could put it to a- an Aragog memorial fund and let Hagrid feel that his friend is honoured."

Severus blinked.

"You know, dear, that's not such a stupid idea" he said.

"We'll have the little half elf soon" said Krait "She's due to be decanted from the magical womb any day now."

Severus nodded.

"I'll do it." He said.

-/-

Hagrid listened suspiciously to Severus' request.

"You haven't never shown him any respect before" he said.

"Oh I respected the big brute" said Severus "Too much to want to come near him. I don't pretend to be a spider lover; but I'm prepared to put his name to a memorial fund to keep his memory alive to help the various kids we have in our care… and a little half breed due in within a few days. You've not had it easy having THAT thrown in YOUR face, have you? But at least you're big enough to intimidate most bullies. A little half elf girl, sired by Fishface will NOT have it so easy."

Hagrid's face softened.

"Ar, well, I suppose under those circumstances… you'll stay for the burial too?"

Severus nodded.

"Hardly polite to despoil the body and not see him put to rest" he said. Harry marvelled again at Severus' often surprising moral code. David just nodded; and Krait kissed Hagrid on the cheek.

"We brought some goodies to have a really good wake" she said. "I purloined some good stuff from the cellars…."

"Elf made wine?" said Hagrid hopefully.

"Yes" said Krait "And carrot cake the way Sirri makes it with brandy in."

"Now that's a princely send off!" said Hagrid. He had been crying and his eyes were swollen; and he wore a black armband that looked like it was made out of a rag dipped in boot polish.

"Where are we burying him?" Harry asked "The Forest?"

"Blimey, no!" said Hagrid, wiping his eyes on the bottom of his shirt "Can yeh believe it Harry, the other spiders won't let me anywhere near their webs now Aragog's gone. Turns out it was on'y on his orders they didn't eat me!"

Harry found it only too easy to believe; but Hagrid was quite overcome, and told him, amazed that there had never before been any part of the forest he could not go, and how he had had a job getting hold of Aragog's body because he wanted to give him a nice burial. He burst into sobs again and both Harry and David patted an arm each consolingly.

-/-

The giant spider lay on its back, legs curled horribly.

"Do what yer have to do, Severus" said Hagrid.

"If one of the boys will help me…" said Severus.

"I will sir" said Harry. With all the trouble he had had from the acromantula and its descendants he found Hagrid's fulsome praise rather embarrassing, though he felt truly for the half giant's grief. He followed Severus out; and the potioneer showed him how to squeeze the sacs behind the pincers gently to milk out the fluid. They managed two and a half bottles full from each of the two sacs.

"That'll keep a few kids for a few years" said Severus softly "It was a clever suggestion of yours, Harry; and typical of you to think about how to use it for others. You could have had Horace's gratitude by telling him about this for his own personal gain."

"Oh I think Horace does well enough, whatever he may claim" said Harry dryly "And you may have Malfoy help but you take on kids without thought of cost to yourself, now you know there are others who'll care if you…" he tailed off

"If I die?" said Severus harshly

"Yeah" said Harry."

Severus nodded.

"It's unbelievable being loved" he said softly "To have a family who care…who'll stand there to take on responsibilities for each other….it's a great responsibility being loved too, because you can't let people down. I was afraid to love Lily's son as much as I hated James' son I think. Afraid of failing again…."

"But you won't, Scales" said Harry "None of us can fail the others; all we can do is our best and that is – because our best is collectively amazing – more than good enough. We're all afraid but we SHALL not fail!"

"Harry…you are the Chosen One. And THAT is why" said Severus softly. "Let's get back and get Hagrid's pet decently interred" he added swiftly, shying even now from too much emotion.

Harry touched his arm in a swift, comradely gesture.

-/-

Hagrid had already dug a grave just beyond the pumpkin patch and Harry could not help wondering if the giant spider would make good manure or would poison next year's crop. Hagrid carried the hulk of dead spider and heaved it into the hole with a big grunt. It hit the bottom with a rather sickening crunch and Hagrid started to cry again.

"Ah" said Severus "Why don't we pour a libation of the pumpkin wine that is my own brew on him?"

"Oh tha's really thoughtfull!" said Hagrid, tears of emotion coming to his eyes. "Will ya say a word or two, Severus? I ain't much hand at that."

Severus fetched a bottle and poured in a generous measure.

"For the friendship you have born Hagrid all these years, your memory will not die, Aragog" he said "There will never be another spider like you" he avoided meeting Harry's eyes as he said this, having chosen his words with care "And your last gift to the two legged denizens of this realm will ensure your name immortality. Beyond the veil may you find a tranquil web from which to watch."

"Tha' – tha' was beau'ful!" howled Hagrid, collapsing on the compost heap to cry.

Severus waved his wand briskly to fill the hole.

"Come on Hagrid" he said softly "Come and drown your sorrow and drink to your friend; for all friendship is sacred. It was not, after all, Aragog's fault that Riddle used his existence to accuse you of Myrtle's death; he, like you, was a victim of that nasty piece of work. Let us drink to friendship and loyalty, for there is no question but that your loyalty to Aragog and his to you should become one of the legends of Hogwarts."

Hagrid stared.

"Do – do yeh MEAN that Severus?" he asked.

"Yes I actually do" said Severus "We've had our differences – and I doubt we'll ever be close friends – but I do admire your staunch loyalty to your friends. And I also, now I find that it was only Aragog's orders that kept you safe, admire his loyalty to you. There was more to him than I would have previously believed; and I will willingly drink to his memory in that respect. Loyalty is always to be commended. It is such a rare commodity" he added softly.

A/N Another bit taken from canon in here but with different people involved… I shouldn't like an acromantula for a pet but I do quite like spiders and this way Aragog actually gets a better sendoff I think than Horace's fatuous insincerity.