Title: Sewn Clouds
Published: March 5, 2013
Author: Ribbon
Target: Yukimura Seiichi
Default Name: Honjou Chiharu
Author's Note: Nearly at the end. Okay.
All the stairs are gone from the sky.
You have descended the stairwell from stardom,
and the stairs have long since vanished behind you.
There is no use trying to climb something that does not exist.
/
She doesn't want to be there at the surgery, partially because she doesn't want to be around his friends, and partially because she will probably start crying. She would rather cry in her room under a blanket with the door shut, so that no one can see or hear her when she does it. She asks Sanada to call her when it's over, and he promises that he will.
The whole day is spent in restless mourning. She chews on the ends of the pencils when attempting to write essays; she nibbles on her fingernails when her hands aren't occupied; she bites her chopsticks at mealtimes because she can't decide what she wants to eat. Her mother already knows what's wrong. Her father isn't home, but he promised that he would be praying anyway.
Fifty percent. When she thinks about it, it's not much, but it's better than forty percent. It's better than thirty percent. It's better than no chance at all.
In the end, she never got around to thanking Seiichi for being such a good friend to her, but she hopes that he knows it anyway. She never had many friends to start with, but that never seemed to deter him. He always encouraged her to do what she wanted to do, because no one else would. He always helped her with whatever she needed, because no one else understood what the problem was. He always hugged back the times she hugged him, because she was in need of one and he never seemed to mind.
She never got around to telling him what she thought of him—that he was a kind, gentle, loving person, and the whole world should know it; that even when he was scary, he was still Seiichi; that she always loved the person he used to be, and the person he is today, and the person he might become if the surgery is a success, because that's what friends are for. They love each other very much.
"He'll be okay." Her mother says while they are sitting at the table for lunch, putting a hand over her daughter's. "He'll be fighting for his life in there."
No, she thinks. He might not. She is so afraid that his curiosity is going to get the best of him.
No one touches the food, even though it is wonderfully cooked food. No one can bring themselves to eat while he is in there.
Her phone trills.
It's Sanada, with the final verdict.
It's late, but had it been earlier, she was sure she wouldn't have had the courage to pick it up, either. She and her mother look at each other. Firm gazes, hiding skin-deep fear.
Gently, her mother chides her to answer it.
Chiharu picks up the phone. "S-Sanada?"
"Honjou."
She looks at her mother, thinking that their hearts are beating at the same insane rate right now. Her mind is void of thought, but her body is alive with insistent emotions.
"About the surgery."
Silence, like time stopped.
Hopped.
Never ended.
Princo & Ribbon
April 14, 2014.