Lush

Chapter Three:

I'm nervous. My palms have been perspiring since daybreak. I shouldn't be nervous.

"Come on. There she is." I heard Rangiku cheering me on. "You can do this."

"I can do this." I repeated after her. But as many times as I say 'I can do it', my palms were clearly still moist with sweat.

"Okay." I finally moved my feet. In the direction of where Rukia was perched on a bench. She was taking in the scenery. Something that I enjoy doing as well. The tress' petals fluttered around her as if her beauty aroused them. Of course, no one would think in such a way like this but me.

I was only a yard away form her now. Her attention was still on the landscape that posed before her.

Now my hands are shaking. Dammit, I needed to calm down- I'm approaching her faster than I thought.

The leaves beneath my feet cracked, causing the eyes of Rukia shoot up at me. She looked pleased. "Renji."

"Rukia." I show how got the courage to sit beside her. "It's been a while."

"It has."

For that moment, the only noise that was there was the rustling of the petals and leaves. It might have looked like a pleasant scene but I didn't sit here just to do some sight seeing. Think, Renji. You gotta say something.

"Is there something on your mind? Your face looks so focused." She spoke to me in a somewhat humorous tone. But I didn't see this as a laughing matter at all.

Little does she know I'm about to tell her everything. About how much I loved her. About how long I have wanted to hold her into my arms. And how long, I hoped that you would feel that same way.

"Actually, there is." I said, staring into the trees. I can't into her eye just yet. I'm still nervous. "It's about a girl."

"A girl?" Again, she speaks in a happy tone. Almost mischievous this time.

"Yeah, a girl." I said, finally turning for a moment for our eyes to meet. I guess by the look in my eyes, she soon realized that this wasn't just some daily conversation. I was preparing myself to pour my heart out.

"I'm… In love with her… I haven't told her because… I never thought I would ever have the chance to. Even if I do tell her, what exactly is going to happen?"

I paused. I wanted to see if Rukia had something to say. She didn't.

I continued. "In a way…. I'm still scared to tell her. I don't want to ruin things between us…. She's such an amazing person…. I don't want to put such a bad impression on the friendship we have today…."

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"You're afraid… that she's going to say something you don't want to hear." Rukia said monotonously. I didn't feel her eyes on me.

"Correct." I closed my eyes. I think she's beginning to catch on.

It was silent once again. I'm not quite done just yet. I don't know how long am I going to keep speaking to her indirectly.

"I lover he so much…. The only thing that I could have done was to just watch over her from a distance. She doesn't need it but it feels like that is my duty to do so. It's the least I can do…. Heh, it feels like I'm rambling now."

I sat up straight to turn my eyes to her once more. "Can you tell me how she feels about this? Rukia?"

Her eyes were stuck in mines. I couldn't read what she was thinking. They just looked back at me as if I was just dark space. Or maybe she was just trying to study my eyes. I don't know anymore. After her eyes lingered mines, she touches my shoulder and stands up.

I watched her as she stood up. I was expecting her to say something.

With the simple twist of her foot, she turns to walk away from me. I was shocked.

Did she know what I was talking about? Does she realize that the girl that I was in love with so long… was her?

"Rukia." I said. I know she heard me. But she kept walking.

I don't… understand. Did I say something wrong? Did I make the wrong decision? Was my wording not sincere enough?

What is this pain in my chest?

… It hurts.

Dammit…

"Rukia…." I whispered her name to myself as I watched her disappear in the distance.

A/N: Hey, everyone. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I would have uploaded this sooner but my chapters were ALL deleted and now I have to rewrite all of it again. But I must say, I think this redo sounds much better than the original. Maybe because of this Vampire Knight Soundtrack that I have been listening to while I was doing this gave me a lift. Oh well. PLEASE leave me a comment. I sometimes get sad when I see people reading it and they don't leave me a comment.