Lush

Chapter Four:

[Matsumoto]

I'm afraid.

Afraid to close my eyes.

I see him.

I see him reaching for me… With his slender, bony fingers.

They don't seem so welcoming anymore.

I open my eyes form my nightmare, sitting up and wiping the sweat from the nape of my neck.

I can't do this. These dreams…. They're making me miserable.

"Gin…" I whispered to myself. I almost wanted to curl up in a fetal position. Almost catatonic. I just want him to stay out of my dreams… He's scaring me now.

"Rangiku? You in there?" I heard a voice on the other side of my door. I was so relieved.

"Renji." Without thinking, I opened my door and he stood over me. I hadn't realized how tall me was until now. He had a smile on his face just as I did.

A smile means happy but I don't see any sort of happiness shining off of him.

But I'm pretty sure that he's thinking no different about me.

It doesn't matter. I'm glade to see Renji.

"Morning. Is something the matter?" I said to him. He smiles and takes my hand.

"We haven't watched the sun rise in a while." He said.

I didn't respond back. I just followed.

We went up to the roof and sat upon it. The air was soft and the sky was beginning to bloom. The sight was already beautiful even without the sunrise.

"You okay?"

I smirked at Renji's question. If he didn't know any better, I would have called him stupid for asking.

"I've been better. Much better… I keep getting these dreams of Gin. I mean, I always had them. Before, they were very pleasant and it was something that I didn't mind dreaming about every night but… not anymore. Now it seems like he's torturing me."

I hold out my hands as an example. "I keep seeing his hands. They're always after me and I don't know how to make him stop."

I drop my hands down and soon after wrapped myself tightly with my arms.

And just like that, I felt the biggest pair of arms wrap around me.

"R-Renji-"

"Don't even stress it. You're too good for that freak anyway. If you ask me, he's nuts for letting go of someone that is as amazing as you…"

And he wasn't saying it out of pity. It really sounds like he meant it.

HE REALLY MEANT IT. And it brought my heart to mush. I closed my eyes and rested on his chest.

It was comfortable here… I could rest here all day and not think about anything or anyone else.

Gin would be no more…

But when are things as such ever that easy?

We stayed like that for ten minutes before I realized who awkward it was becoming.

I finally pulled away and he almost looks at me with a confused look.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I got a little carried away." He said. For a moment, I thought I saw him blushing.

"No, it's alright. You made me feel better."

I squinted, now taking note that the sun had already risen from the gardens beyond.

"… I'm sorry for waking you up so early. I doubt the others are awake." Renji said, standing to his feet. "I guess this is where we begin our duties?"

"No." I said, reaching for his hand. "Let's stay a little while longer. Please."

He looks into my eyes and he smiles before sitting beside me once again.

Good. I didn't want to be alone… And I'm sure neither did he.

The evening came by so quickly… I had forgot to ask Renji about how did everything go with Rukia.

How could I have been so self centered? I was so worried about myself that… I forgot to ask my only, very close friend I have about himself.

"I promise, Renji. First thing in the morning… I will sit by you… and the day will belong to you…"

A/N: Boo, I know short chapter. I was running out of stuff to say. It's been really hard for me to try and remember what my original chapters said. Dammit, why must al of my chapters disappear? Ugh. Oh well. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Renji's POV will be the next chapter. I always like his side of the story. Review please!