Title: Miles To Go Before I Sleep
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Universe: Zombie Cantos
Characters/Pairing: Kevin, Will, Jack, Henry, team – Gen/Canon Couples
Genre: Horror/Drama
Summary: Getting out of town is harder than it looks. Finding your family is much, much harder.
Author's Note: This will be a series of non-chronological one-shots, rather than a multi-chaptered story.
Warning: Minor character death, Spoilers for 5x09 – 100.

Zombie Cantos: Miles To Go Before I Sleep

* * *

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening – Robert Frost

*

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

Anthony Brandt

* * *

Jack Hotchner is ten years old the day the world ends.

His aunt had been called away, so he's staying with Will and Henry. They watch SpongeBob, and Will makes dirty rice, which Jack had been hesitant about eating the first time, but now he loves it as much as he loves the Mac and Cheese that his father sometimes makes when he's home.

The doorbell rings, and Jack finds himself sitting up a little bit straighter, his eyes straying from the TV to the door. His father's job is dangerous, and sometimes he thinks he's waiting for the day where he's told that his daddy isn't coming home. Aunt Jessica had laughed and called him "cynical". He hadn't known what cynical meant, but his aunt had the look in her eyes that all adults seem to have when they're trying to hide something.

Will's had that look in his eye all day.

Henry doesn't seem to notice anything. The six-year-old laughs at the TV screen. Jack's pretty sure that Henry never has to talk to the school counselor about his "anti-social" behavior. He's not entirely sure what "anti-social" is supposed to mean either.

He gets up quietly, and Henry doesn't seem to notice. There are hushed voices coming from the front door – one of them is Will, and he thinks the other one is Kevin – Penelope's boyfriend. It's kinda weird, because both Penelope and Henry's mom are with his dad, and Kevin and Will don't really have anything in common.

'…in Arizona…' he hears Kevin say. 'If we leave now before the news starts spreading, we can make it there by Tuesday.'

'I dunno, Kev. I mean…zombies? You sure you're not just gettin' paranoid?

'The dead are walking, Will. Zombies don't get much more real than that.'

Jack frowns. The kids at school sometimes talk about zombies – about people rising from their graves and eating other people. He doesn't find it as funny as they do. He remembers seeing part of a movie once, where zombies tore apart a man. His dad had put a parental lock on the TV after that – he can't watch anything above PG. He's not so sure he really wants to.

'You've seen the news,' Kevin insists. He sounds serious – much more serious than Jack's ever heard him. Usually, he's Mr. Funny, trying to crack jokes, even if they are pretty lame. 'If there's something going down, then we need to get out of here. If there isn't, then what have we lost?'

Will turns back towards the television, and Jack realizes that he's been caught out.

'Hey buddy,' Will says. 'What's up?' He's got that tone of voice, like he's pretending that everything's okay, when really it's not. It's the tone of voice that his father uses day after day.

Jack hates it.

'What's going on?' he asks. Will and Kevin share a look.

'We're going for a drive,' Will says eventually. 'Do you want to go make sure your bag is packed?' Jack knows he isn't going to help the situation in any way by acting like a whiny kid; there's definitely something bad going on, even if Will and Kevin won't tell him what it is.

He goes upstairs to the guest bedroom and packs his things into the matching Batman duffle bag and backpack set Spencer had given him for his ninth birthday. He can hear Henry wailing about the loss of SpongeBob as Will leads him up the stairs.

'…We're going to go see your Mama – that's much better than SpongeBob, right?' The statement seems to calm Henry down a little bit. A second set of footsteps tells him that Kevin is standing at the door.

'That's a pretty cool bug-out bag,' the technical analyst says. 'Did it come with a utility belt?'

Jack wrinkles his brow. 'What's a bug-out bag?'

'It's a bag you pack with all the things you need staying alive in an emergency evacuation. You know, food, clothes, first-aid kit. In case you need to survive some kind of disaster.'

'Like zombies?'

Kevin gives him a grin. 'You're a smart kid, Jack. Like your dad.' He's not entirely sure he likes that comparison, but he doesn't say anything.

'Do you have a bug-out bag?'

'I do,' Kevin says. 'But it's not as awesome as this one. Batman? We are going to kick some zombie ass.' He's lying, and not very well. 'You prefer DC?' Kevin continues, picking up a t-shirt that's lying in the corner of the room and passing it over.

Jack shrugs. 'They're both good, I guess. Marvel has Captain America and Iron Man, but DC has Superman and Batman, so it's hard to pick.'

'Totally agree. But I must give my heart to DC for one reason alone – Barbara Gordon. Yowza.' He makes a silly face, and Jack's not entirely sure what he means, but he figures it's probably an adult thing. Kevin pats him on the shoulder. 'You'll understand when you're a little older.'

It's another half an hour before they're ready to leave, and Henry looks a little confused, but Kevin tells a couple of his lame jokes, which causes Henry to laugh a little.

Kevin takes Jack's bags and loads them into the back of the SUV. There's a lot of stuff already in there – two really big backpacks, some big plastic containers, and a lot of stuff that Jack doesn't recognize. He does recognize the gun case, and immediately knows that it's very, very bad, because guns aren't something to mess around with for fun. His dad carries a gun, and so does the rest of the team, but he's never seen Kevin with one, and Will hasn't had one in a long time.

Will makes a call before they leave, and the phone makes the rounds before it's finally passed to him.

'Jack?'

'Dad?' He's glad to hear his father's voice, even if he's not going to admit it.

'I need you to be strong for me, okay Jack?'

'Yeah, Dad.'

'I'll see you soon, Jack. I love you, don't forget that.'

There's a brief moment of silence. 'I love you too, Dad.'

There are a lot of cars on the road – there always are, but today it seems like there are so many more. In the front, Kevin and Will are talking in low voices, and Jack catches the occasional word. Henry's ignoring them completely, eyes glued to the portable DVD player that's flashing bright colors. Jack recognizes the movie as Finding Nemo.

He looks out the window instead.

It gets dark pretty quickly, and Will and Kevin argue about whether or not they should drive through the night. In the end, Will wins out, and they stop at a motel for the night.

'Who wants McDonalds?' Kevin asks, a big wide grin on his face. It's for Henry's sake, Jack knows, but he's never been one to turn down Chicken McNuggets.

Henry plays with the plastic toy from his Happy Meal while Kevin and Will sit at the table, talking softly. Kevin has his laptop out, and there's a serious look on his face – the same serious look that's been hiding behind the smiles all day.

'How bad is it?' Jack asks, his hand clutched tightly around the paper cup of lemonade. His dad won't let him drink coke at nighttime.

'It's pretty bad,' Kevin says, after he and Will share a long glance.

'What's bad?' Henry asks. He walks the tiny plastic dinosaur across the table with a roaring sound. He looks at his father. 'You said we were going to see Mommy.'

'We are, buddy,' Will smiles, ruffling his son's sandy blond hair. 'It might take a little longer than we'd thought, though.'

'Awwww.' Henry sticks out his bottom lip. 'Why?'

Instead of answering, Will pulls the boy onto his lap. 'I'm gonna tell you a story, how does that sound?'

'Okay.' Henry doesn't put down the dinosaur, instead making it walk up and down his father's arms. 'I better warn you though, this story is a little scary. It's only for big boys.'

'I'm a big boy,' Henry tells him. The dinosaur makes another load roar.

'I know you are, buddy.'

It's not a nice story, and not long in, the dinosaur stops traipsing along Will's arm. Jack's not sure he can understand why dead people are coming back to life. It's much, much harder for Henry.

'Why are they doing that, Daddy?' Henry asks. His voice is filled with fear.

'I dunno, buddy.'

It's a restless night. Jack wakes up in the early hours of the morning, with Henry cuddled up against him. The younger boy has already had one nightmare, which could only be calmed by his father. He pulls himself away, getting up to use the bathroom. He's just washed his hands when the door to the motel room opens with a loud noise. It's Will, with a plastic shopping bag in each hand. Breakfast, Jack see, but from the look on Will's face, he thinks that eating might need to wait a while.

'We need to go, now,' he says urgently. 'It's moving faster than we thought.'

Jack's still dressed in his clothes from the night before, sauce from his burger dried against Captain America's face. He puts on his shoes, and helps Kevin take their gear out to the car while Will wakes Henry.

'Oh, fucklesticks,' says Kevin. Jack can see why – already, the town is in chaos. Cars are bumper to bumper on the main street. Alarms are blaring in the distance. He wonders how many people never even made it out of their homes.

'It's an SUV,' Jack points out. 'Can't we go off-road?'

'I think we might have to,' agrees Kevin, hoisting their things into the back of the vehicle. 'Too much danger of infection on the roads anyway. Too many people.'

There's a loud moan, startling them both. Kevin goes straight to the gun case, flipping it open and pulling out a handgun. The source of the noise isn't so far away – Jack's first impression is that it looks human but not quite human at the same time. It's a young man – maybe Kevin's age. His hair is messed, his clothes are torn, and he's covered in blood. His skin looks like a shade of puke green. It moans again.

Kevin fumbles with the weapon slightly, flicking the safety on and then off again before leveling it towards the creature that's dragging itself towards them. It moves strangely, though Jack's not quite sure how to describe it.

The gun fires twice, the first bullet missing, the second taking a chunk out of the man's head. Jack flinches. So does Kevin.

'Holy crap.' Kevin stares at the twitching body before turning to Jack. 'Get in the car.' Jack does so, hearing Kevin thump on the motel room door and yelling, 'Hurry up.' He slides into the driver's seat, and it's not long before Will and Henry are buckled up, and they're on the move once more.

There's an eerie silence as they drive. Jack can feel his heart beating rapidly – he's more scared than he's ever been. He's not about to admit it, though.

They drive until the gas runs out, and even then, they're still a long way from Arizona. Will tries making a phone call, but after a lot of swearing, he gives up.

'Where are we?' Jack asks quietly. Henry's crying – he doesn't like it when his father gets upset.

'About a hundred miles from Columbus,' Kevin replies, checking the GPS. 'It's still another eighteen hundred miles to Arizona.'

'So what're we gonna do?' asks Will. 'Walk? That'll take weeks. We don't have enough water for that long, not to mention the kids.'

'I don't see we have any other choice,' argues Kevin. 'We can't just sit around waiting to die. We need to find them.'

They walk.

Only during daylight hours, and only when it's not really that hot. The "bug-out bag" that Kevin had mentioned has dried food in there, the kind of stuff Jack would usually wrinkle his nose at. At least they don't have to start killing animals for food yet.

By the end of the first day, his feet are sorer than they've ever been, even after the time his Mom had taken him to the park and he'd run around for what'd felt like hours until it was time to go home. It seems so long ago.

He misses his mother.

He misses his father.

By the end of the first week, he's sort of gotten used to all the walking, and even Henry has stopped complaining so much, even if he still sniffle a lot. When the sun sets, Kevin and Will take turns keeping watch while the rest of them sleep.

It's been eight days before they hit the small town that Kevin had been aiming for. They won't stay long – the threat of zombies is far too high. They'll hit the supermarket, looking for whatever food and other supplies they can. Kevin says that the town seems fairly wiped out – the infection had hit quickly, giving little time for thought of escape. Will seems keen on picking up more substantial weaponry. The man pauses, and seems to consider something.

'Jack, did your Daddy ever teach you about weapon safety?'

He nods. It's something his father had insisted on. Jack knows every single danger that a gun holds. He knows not to touch his father's service weapon. He knows about bullets. He knows how to use it, if, according to his father "it's absolutely necessary." Once upon a time he'd thought his father would be around forever, but now he's not so sure.

Will hands him the gun and he feels his hands shaking. 'I want you to stay here with Henry. Their senses aren't that great, so you shouldn't need to use it, but…if you need to – make sure the safety's off, hold it steady and squeeze the trigger. A headshot will kill them, but they don't really like loud noises either, so you don't have to hit it. If they keep coming – run.'

He nods again. The weapon feels big in his hands. His throat is dry.

He misses his father.

'Is my Daddy coming back?' Henry asks him, after Will and Kevin have been gone almost an hour. He grips the gun tightly. They've heard gunshots, which means there are definitely zombies in the town, but that doesn't surprise him.

Kevin and Will return with food, but they both look a little shocked, and Will's machete is covered in a weird looking gunk. They're scared too, Jack realizes then. They're just trying hard not to show it.

He relaxes his boundaries a little bit.

They keep walking.

A week on, and he kills his first zombie. It's coming up behind Will, and its mouth must be broken or something, because it isn't moaning. He pulls the trigger, and its head explodes. He has nightmares that night.

And they keep walking.

It feels like they've been walking forever, but according to the GPS, which Kevin turns on sparingly, because it's almost out of batteries, they're not even a quarter of the way there. One night, Kevin digs out a travel chess set that he'd almost forgotten about, and teaches Jack how to play. He's only ever seen Spencer and Emily play before, and they both play a lot differently to Kevin. They're quiet, observant, whereas Kevin spends the entire game making fart noises, much to Henry's amusement. The younger boy plays with his dinosaur. Jack loses his first game, but Kevin tells him that he played well for a first-timer. They turn the board over, and then it's checkers, and Jack loses again, but he's not really upset about it.

They keep walking.

It's getting hotter, so the only walk in the early morning and the late afternoon. The rest of the day they take shade under a tree, or if there're no trees, Kevin and Will set up a tent from the contents of their packs. One night they do run out of food, but they're walking through farmland at the time, so Will kills a cow with his machete. The cow's pretty skinny, and Kevin calls it a mercy-killing, but Jack still feels sick when he sees the blood on the dirty blade.

It's been almost a month, and even though his life has changed dramatically, Jack doesn't really miss the little things. He's never really been that interested in television, and he hasn't really played with toys in a long time. He likes to read, but the only book they have with them is a very tattered copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which he's read before. He rereads it anyway, and Kevin and Will both tell them stories. Kevin's stories usually involve ninjas or pirates.

It's another month before things change dramatically. Jack takes the gun that Will hands him with acceptance. Henry watches as his father leaves with Kevin. They've gotten quicker – at first it had taken a few hours or more to find what they need. Now, they're usually back in an hour or so, as long as they don't meet too much resistance, and as long as there's actually food to be taken.

This time when they come back, they're running.

There are zombies chasing them – lots of zombies. Jack points the gun in their general direction – near the zombies, but away from Kevin and Will – and fires. His hand doesn't shake this time. Startled by the noise, the creatures scatter. It's enough of a distraction for Kevin and Will to make it back to the backpacks and get spare ammunition from their cache. It takes almost ten minutes, and Henry has his eyes closed, his hands over his ears, but the immediate threat passes.

'That was close,' says Kevin, his voice unnaturally high. Jack expects a response of some kind from Will, but there isn't one. The other man is silent, staring at his hand. Jack sees the green-tinged bite mark. So does Kevin.

'Oh, God. I'm sorry,' Will says. 'I only just noticed.' He takes action almost immediately, making sure there's a bullet in the chamber of his handgun before ejecting the magazine and passing it to Kevin.

'Will…'

'You know I need to do it, Kev. Amputation doesn't work, we've both seen that. You need to keep going.'

'Daddy?' Henry asks, a concerned look on his face. Jack pushes the younger boy behind him. He doesn't need to see this.

'When you get there, tell JJ I love her,' he says, hiding his wounded hand behind his back. He gets down on one knee, and Jack steps out of the way.

'Hey, buddy.' Will ruffles his son's hair. 'I need you to do something for me, okay?'

Henry nods, the look on his face serious.

'I need you to be strong for me.'

They're the same words his own father had spoken – it feels so long ago now.

'Where are you going, Daddy?' Henry persists. 'We need to go find Mommy. She'll be sad if you're not there.'

'I know, Henry. You'll just have to give her an extra big hug for both of us, okay?'

Henry nods. Jack's pretty sure he doesn't understand.

Will puts a hand on Jack's shoulder. 'You're a good kid, Jack.' He turns to Kevin, and simply says, 'Thank-you.'

Jack turns around as Will heads back towards the town.

They keep walking.

It's over a minute before they hear the gunshot.

Henry cries.

Their progress is a little slower now, with Will gone. Kevin stays up all night, keeping watch. The chances of them being caught out are low, he says, but they're still there. He lets Jack keep watch for a few hours during the day while he gets some rest.

It feels like a lifetime before they make it to Arizona, but in reality it's another three weeks. 'We're on the home stretch,' Kevin tells him. He sounds tired.

The next town is probably the last before they head to what is now referred to as the Fortress of the Undead. Kevin says the words like he's joking, but he doesn't joke as much anymore.

They're quiet as they walk into town – Henry refuses to leave Kevin's side for whatever reason, so their next best option is to stay low.

They go into the supermarket, and it smells rotten – the produce and the meats have been rotten for a long time now. A lot of the shelves are empty, but there are still a few cans that they could use. Kevin and Henry are quietly stocking up a bag with beetroot, and Jack rounds the aisle silently, stopping as he sees the gun pointed at his chest.

His heart skips a beat.

'JJ?' he asks, a little uncertain. The woman does look a lot like Henry's mom, but she looks a little wilder than he's used to. Her clothes are dirty, so is her skin and hair.

'Jack?' Her voice is fearful, as though she's expecting a different answer. He finds himself captured in a very tight hug. 'Oh God, Jack.'

'Mommy?' Henry says from behind him, and Jack feels himself being dropped, but he understands the reason why.

'Oh Henry, baby.' She kisses his head, over and over again. 'I missed you so much.'

Henry's reply is muffled by JJ's shirt. It seems like forever before they finally pull apart. Kevin's standing there, a little silent. Jack can see the apology in his eyes. JJ doesn't even need to ask.

'I'm sorry,' he says eventually.

'JJ? What's going o…' It's Derek Morgan's voice, and he trails off as he sees the scene before him. He steps forward, putting a hand on Kevin's shoulder.

'You look like you could use a shower.'

Kevin cracks a tired grin. 'Likewise.'

Morgan leads them out of the grocery store. JJ clutches Henry's hand so tightly, it looks as though she's never going to let go.

'We've wiped this town of zombies,' Morgan explains. 'But it's still good for supplies.'

There are two people waiting for JJ and Morgan at the SUV – Emily, and a man that Jack doesn't recognize. Emily stares at them, wide-eyed.

There're a few moments of silence as they're checked over for bites, but once it's clear none of them are infected, everyone seems a lot happier.

They drive.

More accurately, Morgan drives. JJ and Henry sit in the back seat, with Kevin beside them. Emily is in the back, her rifle resting on the window. The other man – Harrison, Morgan had introduced him as – is with her. Jack sits in the front seat.

The trip seems to take forever, but it's much, much quicker than walking. They pull to a stop outside another small town, and Jack scrambles out of the car.

His father is waiting for him.

Penelope's there too, apparently, as well as Spencer, but he doesn't realize that until later. Right now, his eyes are only on his father. He sees the look of shock, followed by complete joy. He hears his name being called, but none of that matters.

'Dad.'

His father says nothing, instead pulling him into a hug. It's much tighter than JJ's had been, but he realizes that he doesn't care.

'Can I sleep with you tonight, Dad?' he asks, as they walk side by side.

'Of course you can,' his father says, and Jack knows that he's finally home.