Lush

Chapter Seven:

[Abarai]

I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking. The image of her keeps running in my mind. It was on constant repeat. This cannot be happening. Why is this happening?

Why do I keep thinking about… Rangiku?

Was it because she has been here all along? Was it because she was the only woman that I could feel good around these days? Or am I simply yearning for a woman's attention?

Whatever the solution may be, my sense of attitude has changed in the past few hours. Well, my attitude toward Rangiku, that is.

It feels like I have a duty. I have a duty to keep watch over Rangiku. Since the morning when I came to her for comfort, I felt so much better.

She didn't have to lift a single finger, yet the presence of her made everything right. And she had done it so easily. Funny thing is, I bet that she has no clue as what she has done to me. I find the need to be around her all the time now.

I wish I knew why I am now feeling this way but…. I don't know. I'm rambling to myself.

All I wanna do is see Rangiku.

Now, that I am hearing myself, I sound a bit obsessed. Well, call me obsessed. I need that woman in my lifee. I don't know what it is but… I need to see her now. Even if it's just to say hi.

"No. You're too kind. I couldn't have asked for anyone by my side right but you, Renji. Only… you."

I can hear her words going on and on in my head. She's glad to have ME. And I felt pretty good about that.

But how can she be happy to have me? If there were anyone that was doing the supporting, it would be her. I have been so caught up with my own crazy, stupid emotions that I always end up forgetting that she is suffering as well. I haven't even asked Rangiku how has she been? Has she been able to sleep these days? Is that asshole named Gin still taunting her mind?

I must know…

I looked outside of my window, realized how dark it was outside. I hope she doesn't mind my late visit. I got out of bed and went to her barracks.

The lights were on. It must mean she's still up. A silhouette of her body shadowed on the paper-thin sliding door. She must have known there was someone by her door.

"Erm, it's me, Rangiku." I said. For some odd reason, I was sort of embarrassed to visit her at this time of the night.

I thought I heard a laugh on the other side of the door. It slides open and she was no longer in her uniform. I'm assuming that I was bothering her from her sleep. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Did I bother you?" I asked, stepping in.

"No, not really… sleeping still hard to do."

I almost frowned as she had her back to me. She was still suffering. I can see it in her eyes. It's written all over her. Even her eyes are beginning to lose its color. It is being replaced by gray fades below her eyes. In reality, she was beginning to look terrible. Almost as bad as that time Momo went psycho over Aizen's departure..

The only difference is that Rangiku wants to actually forget about Ichimaru. That asshole is getting to me and he's not here.

Should have kicked his ass when I got the chance.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked, touching her shoulder.

She laughes and shakes her head. "No, I'll be fine…"

A moment of silence arrived, making this scene even more awkward.

"…. Um, well. Then I guess… I'll see you in the morning?"

"In the morning, Renji." She said, smiling at me. I turned to the exit.

That was the most bogus smile I have ever seen. She wasn't happy. No matter how many times, I hold her, no matter how many times I tell her that I will be here for her, she will still be sad.

I want to help her so bad… What am I gonna do?

No, I can't turn my back on her. She has done so much for her… I gotta make her feel good.

I turned back to face her. "Rangiku… I can't leave you right now."

She looks at me, confused. She chuckles nervously. "Haha, what are you talking about? Sure you can. The door's right there."

She didn't get it. I walked up to her and touched her face. Her humorous look changes quickly. She looks confused at first but she looks into my eyes. It was as if, she was accepting what ever I was about to do to her.

I hands was cold against her face but she didn't flinch a bit. She just stood there, looking back at me.

"R-Renji."

"I'm not going to stand here and watch you suffer on your own. You can tell me anything. You have walked me through the toughest times… Please, let me do the same for you."

"That's sweet but… I don't know what you can do to help me in such a situation… I thought Gin was gone from my head but he's still in there. He's destroying every part of me… I don't know what anyone can do…"

I needed to save her. I just need to.

"You're wrong… I can make you happy again. I swear… I will make you forget about him. You understand me? So promise me this… to never shed a tear for him. To never fall weak of his hold on you… Be strong… Rangiku Matsumoto."

She closed her eyes and nodded downwards, breaking our eyes contact.

I brought here eye back up to mines. She smiles, holding my hand and moving them to her shoulders. "Thank you, Renji. You truly are an incredible man. I will always hold you very dear to me."

"That's good. I'm glad." I said, kissing her forehead.

I turned out of the room, leaving her with something to think about.

A/N: I'm sad, guys. I'm not getting enough reviews. I've got ONE loyal reader. (You know who you are!) and as much as I highly appreciate that, I keep wondering if my story is as good as I think it is. Maybe not. Bu then again, there's not really a lot of RenXRan fanfics. SO, GIMME MORE NEW READERS, MORE NEW REVIEWS! PLEASE!