Lush
Chapter Nine:
[Abarai]
She was absolutely… beautiful. Her blue eyes were bright as day. The clothes were flawless as well, complimenting her figure. It was the first time I had seen her as a woman. Before, I saw her as just a Shinigami.
A member of the Soul Society.
A good friend.
Now I see her as Rangiku, one of the best things that have stepped into my life…
~Eight hours ago~
Noon. When the sun shines its brightest. My duties were done for the day but Rangikus' would end when the sun grows weary.
I was lazily sitting in my office, staring at the bookshelf. There was a thin coat of dust resting upon it all. Who the hell reads books anyway? The room was quiet. Too quiet. I knew what the problem was.
I was bored as shit and it was beginning to drive me a bit crazy. I've been so used to hanging around Rangiku, I had really lost the desire to hang with the others. Izuru was sometimes a bore and Momo can be a bit annoying. And Rukia…
Well… I haven't really thought much about her. It was a good thing but now that her name happens to cross my mind… It wasn't until that point I realized that I had moved on rather quickly from her. Was it that easy? Has it always been that way? Or was it because Rangiku was always there for me?
I smiled to myself. An image of Rangiku's face appeared in my mind. She's been too good to me. This was why I had to at least treat her to a drink.
I'm not too good at sharing my feelings and stuff anyway.
I stayed in the same room for another hour, rocking in my chair back in forth, counting how many book were resting on the shelf. Exactly, one hundred and twenty three. I hadn't realized it until now that I was LITERALLY wasting my life away right now. I stood to my feet and advised myself to take a walk. Maybe some air would help for the least. But for one thing, Rangiku popped in my mind again.
"Renji. You look like you need a drink." I was in a daze again when the voice of someone had appeared in my head. I blinked a few times before turning in the direction of the voice. "Captain Kyoraku."
He walks closer to me as if he was going to sit beside me. Instead he stands by the bench. Now, that I'm thinking about it, how in the hell did I get here? I intended to take a walk but it turns out that my body only wants to sit down. Captain Kyoraku was someone that I wasn't using to visiting. Sometimes I feel a bit uneasy around him. He's by far one of the best of the best in Soul Society so I see him as an elder. Sometimes. Which is why I don't know how to behave when he's around.
"Are you all right? You seem tired. Bored even." He said, staring out into the sky. A move that I knew too well. Rangiku and I did that everyday on the roof. Geez, there I go thinking about here again.
"Not exactly. I just got a few things on my mind. I'm just waiting for the sun to set pretty much."
"Why?"
I paused, almost spilling out information. "Er, because I'm going to go see someone later on."
And just like that, a grin appears on his face. "Then how about you take a break with me until sunset?"
I wasn't sure if that was good idea. If you knew Kyoraku the way we did over here, you would know that most of his life revolves around drinking. It never ceases to amaze me. But else can I do during the next… SIX hours?
"Sure, why not?" I finally said, following him to… um, wherever we're about to go to. My guess would be out for a drink.
Again, I wasn't surprised. Kyoraku pulls out sake and I knew at that moment, I was going to regret drinking with him. Drink now AND later? I know that tomorrow morning wasn't going to be the highlight of my morning.
"So, tell me about this girl." He started as he poured the sake for me.
"Girl? What girl?"
He looks at me with a smirk. "With the exception of me, you should be having plans on seeing a woman tonight. Or am I wrong?"
I laughed nervously. Boy, he sure knew how to kick up a conversation. "Uh, yeah. You're right. She a very good friend of mines."
"Really? Tell me more." He says, face already flushed by the slight scent the sake is giving off. "Why are you two so close? Who is she?"
"Ah, well. I don't know. I guess we hit it off when we realized that we had a lot of things in common. We were kind of going through this personal crisis. And eventually, we managed to dust each other off and continue with our life." How come whenever I spoke of Rangiku, I get so thrilled about it? I must be really happy to have a good friend like her by my side.
"You speak very highly of her, Renji. You sure she's not your girlfriend?" He laughes, pouring his second serving.
"N-No. Not at all. Besides, she's still kind of hung up on Ichi—er, this guy she used to know. She's pretty bent out of shape with it all and I try my best to make her feel better."
"Why?" He asks me.
"Why?" I repeated after him. Hearing him ask me why sounded like a pretty stupid question if you ask me. Why? It's my duty to help her with anything. With all of those times I ran to her for support. She was always there for me. Rangiku never made anything feel worse. If anything, she made everything feel perfect. I felt so good around her.
I think I'm addicted to her.
"Because she's done a lot for me. I owe her." Short and simple. If I had repeated back what I am thinking in my mind, Kyoraku's thoughts would conclude that I was in love with her. Or something like that.
Suddenly, Kyoraku laughs at me. "Oh. Okay."
I was confused. Clearly. "What's so funny?"
He kept laughing. And after almost an hour of sitting there and trying to pry out the answer as to why he was laughing at me finally came out.
"You are definitely in love with this girl. What's her name?"
My face felt hot. I was embarrassed. How could he be so bold? How could he come out with such a result? I wasn't in love with Rangiku. I wasn't.
I wasn't.
"I-It's no one you know. And I'm not in love with her. She's just a really good friend." My face felt like it was on fire. Maybe it was the sake. I should have been counting how many times he poured me a cup. I don't know… Maybe four? Regardless, I KNOW that the sake was settling in my system. I can feel it in my chest. Like a burning ember, resting in my gut. I suddenly didn't feel so good.
He laughs somewhat loudly before putting his cup down and leaning towards me. "Okay, then. How about you try this on for size… Tonight when you see her, tell her that she looks beautiful."
"What?" I said, feeling a bit dizzy for some odd reason. "I can't do that. It'll make things weird—"
"No matter. Say it to her anyway. But here's the key. If she smiles and thanks you for saying that to her," He leans in some more, his nose a foot away from mines and continues to say, "and you feel good about saying it to her, then you do LOVE her. Do you understand me?"
"I-I think I understand."
Actually, I'm not sure if I understand what Kyoraku was telling me. He wants ME to tell Rangiku that she looks beautiful tonight? Maybe I should have just kept quiet about seeing someone tonight. Now, here I am sitting before Captain Kyoraku, feeling ill from this awful sake.
How long was I sitting here for anyway. I've probably been sitting here for at least two hourse. But it honestly feels like I was sitting here for days. I traced the rim of the sake bottle. What kind of sake was this anyway? It must have been some powerful stuff if it was driving me this crazy.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Renji? If you don't get up, you're going to be late for your girlfriend." I felt a strong arm shaking me back and forth. What I didn't understand was why someone shaking me? I don't recall falling asleep nor feeling sleepy. I opened my eyes to see Captain Kyoraku staring me down awkwardly. I sat up slowly and realized I was in the same place as before. But I decided to ask the Captain the obvious. "Where am I?"
"I was talking to you but you fell asleep. Do you know what time it is?" He asked me, worried.
"No I don't know what time it is. I'm sure I-" I paused. Oh, wait...
RANGIKU! Dammit, I'm gonna be late! I stood to my feet quickly, instantly stumbling. The sake must have been at its best right now. Everything was tilted and the floor beneath me seemed to have dissolved. But I can't just panic so soon. I have to go see her. I fixed myself as best as possible before leaving Kyoraku.
I can't believe I'm going to see Rangiku like this. This is so embarrassing. What is she going to think of me now? I have never presented myself to anyone like this. In such disarray, I just want to turn back and head to my barracks. But no. I have been waiting for this all day. And I'm sure that Rangiku was too. For a while now, only our days of seeing each other was the only highlight of our days. I can't speak for her but that's how it's been for me. What else is there to smile for? Seeing others like Izuru and Hinamori was all well but it's not like I can go to them and feel... free. Alive. I suddenly laughed at what I just said. No wonder everyone thinks I'm in love. Friendship and love are easily mistaken. Well, the way I see things anyway. Maybe... In a friendly way I do love her. But if I was ever to fall in love again, hopefully it would be someone as bright and amazing as Rangiku.
I was finally here. "Rangiku! I'm sorry I'm late!" I said, speaking on the outside of her door. The door slides open and she yanks me in. The sudden tug made me feel nauseous. Not good one bit. The lights were dim so it was hard seeing her. But by scent I knew it was her. She turned the lights on completely before presenting to me with a bothered look."What are you doing? Yelling like that."
"Yelling?" I repeated. I wasn't yelling. Or was I? I truly regret that drink with Kyoraku. "Oh. Sorry. I had a run in with Captain Kyoraku."
Rangiku walks over to the table where sake and a few other things like food were there. "Really? No wonder you already smell like him." She said, almost smirking.
Well, at least she was aware that I have been intoxicated before arriving here. She might have thought it was amusing but it was embarrassing to me. I followed her to the table and sat down.
"Tonight when you see her, tell her that she looks beautiful." Kyoraku's word have made an impression on my mind. I almost wanted to laugh. How could I tell her such a thing? Especially now. She's wearing the same old uniform we usually wear. I look up at her to confirm myself. That's when I couldn't help to let my jaw dropped. Why didn't I notice that she was wearing something else? It wasn't the uniform, instead it was a bright blue outfit with all of these patterns. It was bright on my eyes but it was a slight to see.
"Renji?" She spoke. I looked up at her in confusion. "Yeah?"
"How much did you and Captain Kyoraku drink? You look flushed."
"A little too much maybe." I joked, keeping my eyes away from the sake. "I'm sorry."
"Ha, don't worry about it. It happens. You just better not chicken out on drinking with me." She said, handing me a drink. I could have guessed that she was going to make me drink some more. I honestly don't know who would out drink who. Captain Kyoraku or Rangiku. Regardless, I doubt I'm going to remember tonight at all.
I took the drink nervously and she laughs. "Don't tell me that you thought I was going to let you sit here and simply eat. Relax a bit. Drink more sake. It's good."
I looked at her and laughed nervously. That's when I paused. Has she always laughed that way? It was... cute. Rangiku? Cute? Oh, my head.
I wish that I could think more straight.
But the more I look at her, she becomes more of something to look at. I leaned back into the seat before looking at her again. My goodness...
She was absolutely… beautiful. Her blue eyes were bright as day. The clothes were flawless as well, complimenting her figure. It was the first time I had seen her as a woman. Before, I saw her as just a Shinigami.
A member of the Soul Society.
A good friend.
Now I see her as Rangiku, one of the best things that have stepped into my life...
Wait. What the hell am I saying? I sat up quickly, alarming Rangiku. "You okay?"
"Uh... yeah. Just... a bit nauseous. That's all." I admitted. Why am I behaving like this? Where did those thoughts even come from? I'm talking about Rangiku here! A good friend...
So why am I feeling like this?
"Because you're drunk." Rangiku said, pouring herself another serving. Did she hear my thoughts?
"Huh?" I aksed.
"You're nauseous. Because you're drunk." She said, stating the obvious.
Oh. Good. I thought I was going even more crazy.
"Tonight when you see her, tell her that she looks beautiful."
Talk about being persistent. Kyoraku's words sure are taking a toll on my mind. I looked at Rangiku once again. Well she did look beautiful. But I can't say it to her. I can't.
I won't.
"You... Look beautiful tonight." I found myself saying it anyway. But indirectly.
She must have heard me because the room was quiet. I didn't want to look at her. She was probably upset. Or embarrassed. Or...
"... Thank you." She finally said. I looked at her and her face was slightly flushed. What?
Am I seeing things again? My head was suddenly throbbing.
"If she smiles and thanks you for saying that to her... and you feel good about saying it to her, then you do LOVE her... Do you understand me?"
She wasn't smiling but she sure have reacted positively to my words. But it was all about how I felt?
I have to be honest to myself now. How did I really feel right now? Besides from being dizzy and nauseous...
I felt good. Maybe because of the drinking but I did feel good. But that doesn't mean I loved her. It probably meant that I was suddenly attracted to her.
But that's what sake does...
For one thing, I made the room silent. Thanks to my odd compliment...
"Kyoraku is one funny guy... Can you believe that he thought I was in love with you?" I laughed to myself.
Shut up, Renji. You're going to get yourself in trouble!
"Really?" Rangiku said. My eyes were closed at this point. So, I wasn't sure how she was reacting to all of this.
"Yeah... I was talking about you and he came up to that conclusion. I never mentioned your name or anything though..." I said, mumbling.
"I see." She said. "And what were to saying to him?" She asked.
I sighed. "I don't remember all of the details but... I was telling him that we were just close friends. Because we needed each other at that point. We each lost someone important so we used each other's company to ease the pain... But I found myself always ready for a song and dance when it came to conversations about you... which is why he probably came up with this crazy conclusion that I was in love with you..."
I paused. I thought I was gonna puke for a second. I sighed before talking again. "And I told him that I wasn't in love with you... I felt like I had a duty... to make you happy again... But that's what friends do, right?"
I didn't hear her respond. But I kept my eyes closed and continued talking. "It's strange... we didn't talk much about anything after that. But the whole time, I kept replaying things that we did together. And then I realized... that I wasn't in love with you... I was simply addicted to you..."
I finally opened my eyes. Rangiku's eyes were staring at her cup. Great. My drunk ass made things awkward again. I cleared my throat before fixing my posture. "Sorry. It's the sake talking."
She looked up at me before laughing back. "I know. Would you like to call it a night?"
"Uh... Um.-"
"I just remembered that I had a lot of paper work due in the morning." She said, before standing to her feet.
Was she... kicking me out?
"Er, sure. Okay." I stood as well. "Do you want me to help clean up or-"
"No, it's fine. You look sleepy." She said, pushing me out of the door.
What the hell just happened? What did I just do?
I stared at her door before walking off. I can't even think straight. Why did I drink so much? Since when did I ever talk so much when I was drunk? Did I really ruin the night because of my talking?
I don't even know what to think right now. Ugh, I'm so mad at myself...
No more sake for me... ever. EVER!
~~~
A/N: Hey, everyone. I know, I know. It's been ages. My finals ended a week ago and I made it out of first semester alive... AND PASSED! So, yay me! But still. There's no excuse to make you guys wait -.-
So, consider this a LATE holiday gift (sorry ^^). And since my break ends mid January, I should be able to squeeze a few chapters before Spring semester kicks up. Then it's back to part 2 of college hell. And oh, sorry about making Renji all over the place in this chapter. He's been up and down in this chapter *hehe