Lush

Chapter 10:

[Matsumoto]

I wasn't sure... what had happened that night. But I haven't felt so awkward in my life. There was no surprise that Renji must have felt like that as well. And so, it's been a day before a week since Renji and I haven't spoken to each other. Was it wrong for me to ask him to leave that night?

To tell the truth, I was shocked. Unprepared. Maybe... secretly happy that he was telling me those things. He doesn't say he love me. And I can accept that. But the things that he was saying that night, has me fully convinced that there's a little more than friendship that he feels for me. Or maybe... It was just my way of admitting that I was feeling a little more than friendship.

I look down at my when I realized that the ink bottle had spilled on a few sheets."Ah, what am I doing?"

Now, I'm ruining paperwork. What's wrong with me? Why can't I focus?

Okay, I get it. I have a small... crush on Renji. It's normal. No big deal. But still... I think I need to find Renji. To finally make all of this awkwardness go away.

It wasn't until noon when I decided to visit Renji at the barracks.

"Renji? Well, it's been two days since he was stuck in his room. We try not to disturb him. I think he's sick." One of this subordinate told me that once I got there. Renji was sick? How? Or was it just some excuse to stay in?

I stood by his door for about five minutes, not thinking of anything. It's a good thing that no one decided to ask me why was I staring at the door. I wouldn't know what to say if somebody did. But in any case... I have to help him at least get better. All of those times he came to my aid so quickly... It's time for me to return the favor... I finally tapped on the door.

"Renji? Are you in there?" I spoke through the door. I didn't hear any noise nor felt any presence of anyone being in there. "Renji? Open the door."

What if he was just ignoring me? It's definitely a possibility that he's doing that. But come on. We're all grown ups here. Besides that night, we were both drunk (by us I meant him) and weird things happen. "Come on, Renji, open up... We need to talk anyway. About that night.. I-I mean, I want to help you get better too but-"

"Rangiku?"

I froze when I heard a very familiar voice call from behind me. I slowly turned, face burning of embarrassment. "I thought you were sick."

He blinked a few times before letting the both of us in his room. "I am. But it's just a slight cold. That's all."

"Oh." I had nothing else to say but I was curious if he heard me when I was talking to his door.

It wasn't until he turned to face me when my face felt all hot again. "Um... You were talking to my door... but I heard what you said. And I agree. We do need to talk."

I didn't like the way he said it. We weren't dating or anything but it feels like he was breaking up with me. He walked over to his bed where he encouraged to sit beside him. I was reluctant but I obeyed.

"First I just want to say that I'm sorry. I was sort of avoiding you for a few days. But only because I thought you just needed the space. I didn't want to make things any more uncomfortable than it already is." He explained, staring at the floor before us. "But let me say this... It's possibly going to make things more awkward but... It feels like I have a need to say it to you anyway."

He was making me feel nervous again. Was he going to say that it was the sake talking? Or... I don't know. I'm just scaring myself. Yet, no matter how much I think about it, I actually want him to say that he's got some sort of feelings for me. But only because I don't want to be the only one with the crush. Crushes are so childish... Oh, I'm hurting my own head with all of these mixed thoughts!

"There is a large possibility that the things I was telling you... Might be more true than I expected..."

I look at him in slight disbelief. For one thing, I was relieved that I wasn't the only one with these weird feelings. He doesn't look at me after his admittance."

I'm glad then. Because... I've got a little crush on you too." I admitted. But for some reason, I didn't feel so embarrassed saying it. Renji suddenly laughs before looking back at me. "Really? Huh, that's so funny."

"I know, right?"

A/N: Yeah. I know. Sucky chapter. But don't worry! I'm cooking up a really good chapter for next time ^^