They spent the rest of the afternoon in the water, washing the mud off each other's body (of course with Kunzite-approved ecological soap). Jadeite volunteered to wash Nephrite's tiara, but Nephrite just shrugged and told him he'd rematerialize it later which would remove any stains. But Jadeite insisted and didn't let Nephrite talk him out of washing and combing his hair as well.
"Don'f make such a fuss about it, Nephikichi-kun. How hard can it be to keep short hair in order?"
"Hey, what bit you there?" Nephrite asked.
Jadeite turned his head so he could see the back of his shoulder. Crap, the healing spell had weakened on that one. Well, at least all the other marks were gone...
"Oh that," he said. "I had to talk to Tethys about the ground floor, and it looks like the youmas aren't giving it up."
He tried to take Nephrite's mind off the matter by lathering Nephrite's hair.
"She bit you? Hey, she likes you."
"I know."
"I mean, she really likes you!"
"Come on, this can't possibly be news to you. She's been my nanny since I was a toddler. Of course she has feelings for me."
Nephrite hit the water so that a splash of water washed over Jadeite. "Jadeite, I can't believe I have to be the one who tells you why youmas bite each other. I thought you knew everything about them? How can you be so naive? Haha, she probable tried to flirt with you so you give in to her!"
"Well, she can bite me all she likes, that's not going to solve the problem that they take over rooms in the house."
"Talking about taking over the house... there's a wasp's nest in front of my window again. Could you...?"
"Of course."
There was no need to mention Nephrite's phobia to get stung that he had developped after the Dark Kingdom.
"Oh man, thanks. It's a breeding cell, right? The locked room?"
Jadeite sighed. "Yeah. You knew it?"
"Wasn't really hard to guess. I bet Zoisite knows it too. Kunzite... I don't think so. He'd stormed in long ago and threw them out before they even started. What are you going to do about it?"
"No idea. I will have to talk to Kunzite about it, but I don't know how. I don't believe he didn't know about it. He's probably just waiting for me to come and tell him my youmas messed up..."
"Cheer up, what can he do? He can have your ass for it, but he know he can't expect you to destroy a breeding cell and kill cute little grubs."
Yeah, now I feel really cheerful, Jadeite thought and gave Nephrite a dunking to get the soap out of his hair. And another one just because.
"He could do it himself," he said when Nephrite surfaced again.
"Ha! I don't think so! If he was stupid enough to do that and make every youma in the house his enemy, he would have done it by now. He just wants to dip you deep in the misery and make you suffer for it. Hey, don't make such a face. You knew very well what you would get yourself into by letting that breeding chamber undisturbed til short before hatching.
Oh come on now. Think of something fun. How's the party planning going?"
"Err, speaking of which, what are you planning for the girls to drink?"
"Well, beer with the barbeque, like us, and then for later, I will get them something sticky, some cocktails with lots of colors... Girls really love that!"
"Beer is okay I guess..." ... and within the budget... "... but what about the non-alcoholic drinks? The senshi are all not much into drinking alcohol."
"Hey, it's a private party, they will be happy to get a chance to become really pissed!
You should see how funny Mercury is when she is drunk!"
"I don't think I should... Neph, they aren't used to drinking, you have to give them the chance to take it slow... let's do the shopping thing together, come on!"
"And hear you whining all the time?"
"Then promise me to take Mercury with you and let her tell you what she and the girls want to drink. Promise me!"
"Hm, I don't know... shopping with girls is always so tiring... and she'll expect me to buy her something..."
"Don't tell me you're broke again! What are you doing with your money?"
"Hey, I could spend some money that I save from buying non-alcoholics on her!"
"That money's for the party, damnit!"
"It was your idea I should take Mercury with me! What are you whining about anyway? I thought the budget is huge? You just have to make such a big fuss out of everything!"
"Just take Mercury with you. And no private side shopping! And now sit still, I need to comb your hair!"
"Ouch, you're pulling out my hair!"
"I'm not! Your hair wouldn't be such a mess if you'd take the tiara out before sleeping. I can see I must do this more often. Just sit still, will you?"
"Aaah!"
"Having fun?" a soft voice asked.
"Hey, Zoi, come in, the water is wonderful!" yelled Nephrite.
"Looks cold."
"So?"
"Wait, Nephrite, I'll be back in a moment. Don't touch the comb."
Jadeite rose from the water, pulling himself up onto the edge of the pond, where Zoisite stood, and gave him a broad smile.
"Remember you promised you'll let me take care of you later?" he asked. "Now is later."
Zoisite hesitated. "I said maybe..."
"Oh, come on, Zoi! It's great in here. You need to be cheered up, and we are just the guys to do that."
"Sorry, Jade. I just wanted to sit here and remember the music I played today..."
"If you don't come in here this moment, I'll make you eat your sheet music!" yelled Nephrite.
Zoisite took a step back, and Jadeite suddenly felt a rush of his fast temper. He grabbed Zoisite by a fistful of the chest of his jacket.
"End of line! This is for all the sulking and spoiling our fun day in the forest. You, Zoi, need to get laid, and you need it now!"
And he put all his weight into a blow to Zoisite's chest. He didn't weigh much, but neither did Zoisite, and so their white haired companion couldn't help falling into Nephrite's waiting hands.
"Don't let him escape, Nephrite!" Jadeite called, but Nephrite had had the same idea, and Zoisite was already in his iron grip. Jadeite jumped, and landed with a huge splash next to them.
They worked together to get Zoisite out of his wet clothes, gave him a dunking whenever he complained, and took turns to kiss a smile onto his lips when he surfaced again.
Finally, they had him undressed, disarmed and enjoying himself while they ran their hands all over him under the waterline.
This was going to be great. Zoisite for the two of them, relaxed, very hard, and in need of some consolation. Jadeite and Nephrite exchanged one happy glance.
"Already found company?"
Kunzite.
Jadeite and Nephrite exchanged one desperate glance.
If Kunzite would keep on with this gloomy and acid remarks, Zoisite would teleport right behind his piano before anyone of them would even have sucked him.
"You keep a hold on Zoi, I'll talk to Kun," Jadeite hissed.
"You what?" said Nephrite astonished, but he wasn't distracted enough to let Zoisite escape.
Jadeite emerged from the pond, and stood before Kunzite, dripping wet, bare naked, his eyes dark with anger.
"Want to take a bath, Kun?" he snapped.
"It seems like the place is already crowded," replied Kunzite coolly.
"Man, Kunzite, you know what? Make up your mind. Here is the three of us, all wet and horny, and ready for action. You are grumpy because you are fighting with Zoi? There he is. If you want him, come and take him. If not, why not go the hell out of here and let us have him?"
"Nani?"
Kunzite stared at him for seconds, round-eyed and unbelieving. Jadeite being so forward and demanding, it was just beyond his comprehension.
Jadeite was annoyed no end by this lack of reaction.
He acted before he even had time to realize what he was doing, his hands shot out and his body plunged forward. Kunzite got thrown over before he could do anything against it. With a big splash he landed in the water with Nephrite and Zoisite.
Jadeite stared at them in shock for a moment, but then he started laughing. He laughed and laughed, he even started a little dance on the grass, his laughter turning into little howls of triumph.
The three men in the water looked at him in astonishment.
"I thought we were reducing his sugar intake?" growled Kunzite.
"That's really worrying. That could have brought him in that state? Has someone inadvertedly been nice to him?" wondered Zoisite.
"Hrmph, I want to know who looks more ridiculous at the moment, us or him," grumbled Nephrite.
They looked at the young man doing his victory dance, bare naked, his wet blond hair standing out against his tanned skin, which looked especially astounding around his privates where his penis was doing his own little victory dance countering the movements of his body.
"Him," they said unisono.
"Shouldn't we stop him before he collapses?" asked Zoisite.
"Hey, Jade, what is so funny?" called Nephrite.
"I did it!" squealed Jadeite breathles, between new waves of laughter. "I finally did it! I did you all in a row!"
"What?"
"What the hell?"
"Nani?"
"I wet you all!" crowed Jadeite. "And I just realized... Hahahahha... I just realized..." He dropped to the ground because he was laughing so hard he couldn't dance no more, let alone stand. "I realized... I just... at least for... the fraction of a second... when I threw you over... Hehehehe... I topped you all. In a row! Now my life is fulfilled!"
"Now your life is over!" yelled Nephrite and shot a big fountain of water onto Jadeite, which didn't cool down the laughter one bit. "The only fraction here will be on your skull!"
Nephrite was about to leave the pond, when Kunzite's hand fell on his shoulder.
"Not so fast," he said, "We're in this together."
He turned to Zoisite.
"Zoi," he said. "I will not take back my words that you are getting more decadent and morally corrupted by the minute, and if you ever bring up the question of fluffy white underwear again, I will strangle you with it. But join me in this mission of teaching this young man a lesson or two about manners."
Zoisite lifted his chin and shot Kunzite an icy look. "I won't take back my words that you are a selfcentered bastard who wouldn't see the benefits of the new times even if they bit him in the arse, but I will join you this time. We can't let him get away with that, or he will be like this forever."
"What are we waiting for then?" asked Nephrite.
"Well said. Let's get him!"
And like one man they rose from the water and jumped to the meadow, where Jadeite tried to squeak and laugh and get away at the same time.
He didn't have a chance.
Not that he really wanted one.
The references:
Yes, that is the subspace forest from act.28, only a bit more romantic.
And the reason why Zoisite and Kunzite have been fighting... did any of you ever wonder why Zoisite's youma in act.10 wore a plush bra? I sure did. Well, Zoisite is a strange man...