Chapter 28 Depression vs Schizophrenia

Randy's POV

After all this time with Raven you would think I was used to hearing that she was in hospital and all that dread that flew into my soul would of gone. No, as soon as Slater and Harris explained what had happened to Raven my heart lept into my throat and I tried so hard not to go sick with worry. Now me and John raced to the hospital, neither of us wanted to show the panic but it was there. We were always waiting for that phonecall that said Raven was in the morgue or in some gutter dead. Why did that thought have to pop into my head? She'll be fine, she'll be fine I kept telling myself as John raced to the hospital, for some reason that I couldn't still fathom, Slater and Harris were in the back. I expected them to either laugh that Raven was down or to have a totally normal conversation like this wasn't happening, no. They were worried as me and John were. I guess they had never seen someone throw up blood. John had barely switched off the ignition as I ripped the door open and lept inside, the moron twins right after me. My heart just wouldn't stop pounding and I could barely breathe.

"Raven Michales" Slater asked the front desk chick, I went past them and just started looking in random rooms, hoping she was there some where. Heath grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the elevator, the one place I usually avoided. (I was claustrophobic) For Raven I didn't care, I just needed to see her. That elevator ride with them and John seemed like the longest one in history.

"Guess which room she's in" Husky said, a slight shake in his voice.

"Thirteen" I growled flying out of the lift and looking for her room. Shawn and Hunter already there along with a heavily pregnant Jamie. John instantly put is arms around her, telling her that her sister would be alright. Oh he better be right.

"Any news?"

"They say she has a cyst on her right lung, they are trying to stop the bleeding"

"What are they doing here?" I bit out as Punk and the other Nexus members made their way around the corner.

"We bought her to the hospital" Punk snapped at me "Where were you while your girlfriend was coughing up blood? Knowing you possibly with a random slut"

Hunter grabbed me around the middle before I could kill the fucker. "Whoa settle down Predator, this ain't helping Raven"

Shawn however super-kicked Punk right in the jaw, "There, now he's down" He looked towards the other guys challenging them. Not one of them dared to get on this side of Shawn Michales, afterall the psychoness had to come from somewhere.

"What may I ask is going in my corrider?"

We all turned and looked at a tubby blonde woman with peircing blue eyes. She looked at us sternly, "This is a hospital not a wrestling ring so please keep your anger in check"

"Gloria please tell me you have stopped the bleeding and my girl is fine or else you are going to have more people on the floor" Shawn looked at her calmly.

Gloria looked at him "No more super-kicking people Shawn"

"Is she alright?"

"We have stopped the bleeding and removed the cyst, not an easy thing to do but thank God this is a hospital with doctors that know what there doing"

"Can I see her?" I asked finally getting out of Hunter's grip. To me, I was the only one there and I was gonna be the first one to see her, no matter what.

Gloria shoook her head "Not yet, she has asked to under-go some tests"

"What tests?"

"She has asked me not to say"

"You will tell me or I will punt you" I tried not to get angry but this was really scaring me. However much to her credit she just looked up at me.

"Yes because that will get me to tell you" Gloria rolled her eyes at me, "Raven will be done in a few moments then you can go in and see her."

"Can we all go in?" Justin asked, I never thought I would see fear on that idiots face but there it was. His usually dark skin had gone pale with fright.

"As long as you keep your anger in check and play nicely with each other and you stop threatening to punt me" She looked up at me.

"Sorry"

"Unless your going to do it, cause that might help me get out of work" Gloria laughed as she went back into Raven's room.

Raven's POV

How could life get any worse? By having this shit pop up, that's how. I still didn't get it which just bugged me really. After my tests I just lay in the bed looking at the ceiling, that feeling nagging away at me. I was quite happy in this bed, I never wanted to leave. Sadly like every other bed I would have to get out of it.

"You know I'm gonna get you a little house plant and your laptop so you can live here. That might be easier" Randy joked coming in followed by Dad, Uncle, John, Jamie and the Nexus. They all shot him a filthy look, for the first time that day I laughed. He knew the right kind of jokes.

"As long as it's an actual plant this time"

"That was a plant" Randy laughed as he took a seat at my bedside. Jamie took the other side being pregnant. The others stood around my bed,

"It was weed" I snapped playfully.

"You gave her weeds as a plant?" Husky asked looking at him oddly.

"Sure why not"

"So what happened?" Dad asked, that hurt in his blue eyes. I guess after all this time he wasn't used to hearing that I was in hospital.

"I had a cyst on my lung" I shrugged before looking at Nexus "Thank you"

"Your welcome" Punk spoke up a slight bruise on his face. "If your going to be alright we'll get going."

"I'll be fine and now we should get past this uglyness"

"What? You in hospital?"

"No, us getting along"

Punk laughed "Alright well we have to be going so we can practice being unsympathetic towards sick people. Hurry up and get better"

After they had gone my family looked at me. Waiting for an explaination. I didn't want to tell them, I just wanted to stay here in this bed and not talk to anyone.

"Raven you are going to have to tell us at some point" Hunter cut in gently. When in the blue hell did he get so smart? I knew he shouldn't hang out with Storm so much, girl's smartness was actually rubbing off on her father. Sighing I looked at them,

"Can you guys give us a moment, I need to talk to Randy"

They didn't like it but they stood up anyway. Jamie hugged me, fear written all over her face. Even with her injury she understood that something was really wrong. "Please be ok Raven" She whispered sadly at me.

"I'll be fine, I promise" My heart broke again because I wasn't sure if I could keep this promise. Dad kissed my forehead, "You keep your promises remember"

They left us alone at last. For the longest time I just stared at him. Those usually vivid blue eyes clouded over with fright.

"I'm sorry about this morning"

"Never mind that Raven. What's wrong and don't tell me it's the cyst because we both know that something is wrong"

I sighed tiredly "I have reactive depression Randy. It basically means due to all the crap I just can't handle anymore."

Randy didn't say anything, not that I expected him too. He grabbed my hand and held it tight. "The only thing I can handle right now is going to bed and staying there. I just want to be away from the world."

"What about work?" Randy asked quietly not looking at me. I guess this was too much for him to handle. It was too much for me to handle. I still didn't get it, I had a great job, the perfect boyfriend, a loving family but still I had depression. Anyone that wants to slap me please feel free.

"I handed in my resgination, I can't work anymore"

"Yes you can" Randy said through gritted teeth. This had been my dream ever since my mother introduced me to my new step-father Shawn Michales. He didn't want me to give up.

"Randy how am I supposed to work if I can't even get out of bed in the morning?"
"I can't believe your giving up"

"I'm not giving up Randy, please this is for my health"

He gave an almighty sigh before kissing my hand gently "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. Walk away"

"What? Raven you can't be serious"

"I have never been more serious in my entire life. Randy please don't make this harder than it already is"

"Raven I am not walking away and letting you go through this by yourself."

"Do you love me?" I demanded at him. He needed to escape while he still could. I wasn't about to let his life and career go down the toilet because of me. Say what you want but his future was more important than my present, at least thats how I saw it.

"Yes"

"Then let me go" I slid my hand from his. That heart-break in his eyes told the entire story, then to my surprise he smiled gently.

"You know I won't really leave. In some way I will be here"

"I know but this depression won't evaporate over night and I don't want to drag you down Randy. So I'm pushing you into an escape while I still can because I know what will happen, you and I will end up hating each other and you promised me a very long time ago that you would never let it come to that"

Randy sighed before kissing me softly "Damn you and your memory. You know I'll always love you"

"Right back at ya Orton" I smiled against his lips. A single tear ran down his face, I wiped it away with my finger. I never ever once belived that Randy could cry but I had done it. Not one of my proudest moments.

"Good-bye Raven" Randy whispered before leaving my bedside. As of now I had officially stopped caring about everything.

Randy's POV

Walking away was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I didn't want to do it but I didn't want to stay if it was just going to put her in more pain. I know I should of tried to fight harder but I knew better I was only going to push her away and I couldn't let that happen, not again. Nothing was going to be the same now. The song As The World Turns by Eminem floated in my head for a moment. I don't know why this world keeps on turning round and round but I wish it would stop and let me off right now. I took a seat in some random corrider wanting to be away from everyone at the moment. I still couldn't believe that I had walked away so easily but in my mind I reasoned that it was all for her. Anything to see her get better, even if that meant being losing half of myself in the process.