Lin's Journal
8-30-10
Monday
Ten-ish
It's too early to be writing in my journal yet, but I have to say this-
I feel so helplessly giddy over how mad Rin is at me. If she locked herself in her room because of me- though that does make me feel slightly guilty- then that means she must really be jealous of Dell. And Asa, my dear bunny rabbit Asa, was witness to the whole thing. Not that she could ever testify anything.
Some of Haku's friends went missing yesterday. I can't help but start to worry about my friends here. What would I do if they went missing? Would I cry? Would I even care? I should stop thinking about this.
Ten thirty-ish
Okay, now I feel really bad. Rin's still in her room, and I'm too scared to try and say anything to her. I feel like a jerk for making her so mad at me... if she's really mad at me. Oh great, now I'm getting depressed again... if only Rin could see how much she affects me. If only she saw how she plays with my emotions. While I'm on the if onlys... if only I could tell her how I feel. I'm too afraid that she'll... I dunno... She'd probably reject me, and I can pretend I'm prepared for that, but maybe I'm scared that she'll be... surprised. Maybe I'm scared that she'd be scared of me. I definitely couldn't stand her hating me, but I don't think that would happen... Rin's too nice for that.
Nine thirty-ish
Rin is mad at me for getting closer to Dell... and I think I'm starting to really like him, too. Is that hope I feel swelling in my chest? Happiness? It's a good feeling. Too bad that Dell probably wouldn't like me either... but at least he's not falling for every girl around.
Maybe I'm being just as bad. Maybe I'm just using Dell as an excuse to try and get over Rin. In the end we did talk again, though, so that's good. I guess it's really not that big of a crush yet, because I never think about it too much when I actually talk to her. Agh, now I'm getting tired. I guess it's because I didn't get much sleep last night. If I'm tired this early, I should be up bright and early for that dumb orientation tomorrow. Eight o' clock, jeez... Well, I think today went pretty nicely. Mostly. Nothing went horribly wrong and I didn't get horribly depressed, so today was definitely a good day. Today was a good day, and I'm too disoriented by lack of sleep to write any more. Zzz...
Hope is a nice feeling. ;w;
I just realized that I put down the year as 08 the first time I wrote this. I guess I really was tired orz