Disclaimer : Nothing's mine (sadly)

I just realise that we are the tenth of OMG March! So my last update was... a while ago. You had to thank my wonderful beta for that because without his email with new corrected chapters, you would have to wait a little more.

As for writing, my muse refuses to work. She doesn't want to end the story so she can't stop changing her mind about it. She dragged me to a new story, some Firefly/BTVS crossover I started writing it a while ago and which was on hold because it seriously needed to be worked on. And there's also some Twilight fic, one in French and one, maybe, the next part of Unplanned meeting. And I also have the next part of my SPN/BTVS, A Matter of Choice, to seriously think about. And I would have to find beta for these stories too... Arf, too much to think of.

Right now, I'm letting you read in peace and hope to receive your wonderful review. You can't imagine how great it is to have one. Every time, it's like Christmas ! My coworkers still can't understand why I'm grinning like the Cheshire cat in front of my screen!

I swear, I stop talking now.

Enjoy !

Chapter Twenty One

One And Only Rule

Dawn rubbed her eyes. The jet lag and the emotions that had surfaced since arriving were catching up with her. She yawned widely and stretched, arms up, fingers trying to reach the ceiling. Buffy had disappeared after her boss called her into his office. She suspected it was a way to avoid her. She couldn't forget the way those three men had welcomed her. Even if the cute ones didn't say anything outright aggressive, the third had said enough for them. In a way, she was glad to see that her sister had found such protective team-mates.

She tidied the desk she was sitting at, putting away the files. It had only confirmed the theory that Kate had come up with. And it was really bad. But nothing would happen tonight. She yawned again.

"Tired?"

She jumped and swivelled the chair around. Jack Harkness, Head of Torchwood, was standing behind her. He had removed his coat and his hands were stuck in his pockets, thumbs hanging out. The idea that he was most probably the only man who could wear suspenders and still look sexy as Hell crossed her mind.

"You startled me."

"I saw."

He wasn't smiling and his eyes were boring holes through her. It was like he was trying to see right through her — like he was disassembling her into little pieces to see what she was made of or how she worked. She stiffened. She hadn't expected them to know what she had done, or for them to judge her like they were. It was hard enough to live with it, she didn't need people to remind her constantly. She stood up and glared at him. He shifted.

"Owen can be rude but he wasn't wrong. Our job is dangerous and we need to know we can rely on each other. According to what we know, you're not reliable. I don't want you in the field. These people are my team. You're not. If I find myself in a situation where I need to chose, my decision is already made. Am I clear?"

She gritted her teeth. "Crystal."

An Asian woman interrupted them, even though Dawn thought he had something else to add. The unknown woman — Toshiko Sato according to Buffy's description — looked at her curiously. She turned to Jack who explained.

"Kate's injured. She's the replacement. It's Dawn, Buffy's little sister."

The woman's demeanour changed, her shoulders tensed and her eyes became sterner.

"Oh."

Then she seemed to simply ignore her. But in an apologetic way. Like she wanted to, but had been raised in such a way that she found it rude and was excusing herself for doing it. It reminded her of Willow near the beginning.

Tosh lifted up her bag and announced, "I found it. I'm going to install it."

"Okay. Let me know when it's done."

"Of course, sir."

With that, she was gone. And the other yummy guy — Ianto Jones — was back.

"Ianto, could you drive Dawn back home? I don't want her to collapse from exhaustion," Jack asked.

"Of course, sir. But before I go, I should tell you that our earlier suspicions have been proven."

Jack frowned before his face relaxed into a grin. "Ooh. Right!"

More seriously, he added, "Thank you, Ianto."

He nodded at the young man. Dawn looked from one to the other rapidly, feeling completely lost. What the Hell were they talking about? Of course, it was not her business. She was the intruder, the unreliable little sister. She wondered if coming here had been such a good idea. She sighed and pushed the hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear. She missed her home, her family and, most of all, she missed Derek.

"Shall we go?"

Once again startled, she looked up at Ianto who was waiting for her. She nodded.

"Yeah. But maybe I should warn Buffy first."

"She's busy. Jack will tell her."

The polite tone didn't hide the unmistakable order behind it. She was coming. There was no arguing about it. She barely had time to look for Buffy's bag and grab her keys. He walked outside with a quick stride and she was lucky to have long legs to keep up. No one told her goodbye on her way out. She had been dismissed and no one cared. It felt really weird. These guys were the new life her sister wanted and they hated her. Two minutes into the car ride, and Ianto had yet to talk to her. He was focused on the road, not looking her way at all. When he parked in front of Buffy's building, he waited silently. She sighed.

"It's not going to be easy for me, is it?"

He finally looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

"They're close to Buffy."

She frowned. "And you're not?"

His lips thinned.

"It's complicated. I had a hard time trusting her. And she didn't make it any easier. She keeps herself at a distance. Getting to know her — to really know her — is hard. Because she's been hurt. By you and by the ones she trusted most. We like her and most of the people in Torchwood feel protective of her. We know she thinks she doesn't need protection because of what she is, but what she doesn't understand is that we don't try to protect the Slayer. We're not that foolish. But we are going to do everything we can to protect Buffy Summers. She's one us now. So no, it's not going to be easy for you."

Dawn had nothing to say to that. For too long, the Scoobies had seen each other for what they were and not who they were. She was glad her sister had found people who didn't care what she was and were more interested in who she was. She unbuckled herself and grabbed her bag. She opened the door and stepped out. Before closing the door, she said, "I know I made mistakes but I hope she'll give me a chance to make things right. I mean no harm. I just want to know my sister. Thanks for the ride anyway."

Then she was jogging towards the entrance, wanting to be out in the cold Cardiff night for as little time as possible. Ianto watched her disappear into the building and then made his way back to the Hub. He stopped on the way to buy food. When he arrived, there was no one in sight. On his desk, he found a note from Jack. He put the food in the kitchen before going to the training room.

"–like a girl."

"No I'm not!"

He arrived just in time to see Owen send a right hook towards Buffy. Who stopped his fist like it was absolutely nothing. Jack was standing to the side, grinning like mad. Tosh was beside him, though she looked a little white. He couldn't help but smile when Owen landed on the mat with a loud thud. That had to hurt.

"Enjoying the show?" he asked.

Jack grinned at him. "Of course."

"I don't want to do it," said Tosh in a quiet voice as Owen, furious, tried to tackle Buffy but once more hit the mat.

On the floor, the doctor rolled onto his back and yelled in frustration.

"I hope you know that I'm going really easy on you right now," said the Slayer. "I could have killed you a long time ago. Even without worrying about my nails."

Owen was red now. He stood up and faced her, his hands curled into fists. She was looking at him with that little annoying smile of her.

"You know," she went on, "I always thought it was natural for men to know how to fight. I guess I was wrong."

They were ready to watch Owen charge at her but he didn't move. Just stood staring at her. She frowned a little and asked, with a sugary voice, "Are you afraid of the teeny tiny girl, Rude-Guy?" She shook her head. "What a man you are! Unable to fight. What are you going to do next time you have to fight? Cry and scream and run for me to help you?"

Owen clenched his jaws so hard Ianto wondered how it hadn't broken yet. He looked at Buffy with a bit of uncertainty. Why was she humiliating him like this? What was the point? The doctor was red but hadn't move at all. Until he spoke. "I won't let my emotions cloud my judgement."

Buffy's smile changed into something that included a hint of pride. She nodded. "And that's going to save your life."

She looked out over all of them.

"Emotions and feelings don't have a place in a fight. They cloud your judgement and make you act stupidly. You have to keep a clear head to focus on your enemy and the best way to defeat him. You also have to analyse his way of fighting, to find his weaknesses and you have to keep aware of your surroundings, to see the things you could potentially use. If you don't control your feelings, you won't be able to do any of that and you're going to make mistakes that could cause your death. Weevils aren't smart enough to use these kind of techniques. But some enemies can. I personally love to push all the emotional buttons I can."

Ianto saw Jack nodding his head in agreement, arms across his chest and looking serious. Tosh was a little less white and was listening intently. Owen didn't seem too happy and the Slayer wasn't going to help. She turned back to him.

"Your style is messy. You charge in without thinking. And you're too angry. Look at how easy it was for me to push your buttons. You have to control yourself. All of you."

She looked at each one of them.

"My enemies are smart and vicious. When I was seventeen, I became the obsession of one of the most feared vampires. He used to watch me sleep and do drawings of me. He killed my best friend's fish, showing that he could walk right into her house. I found him talking to my mom one night. And one day my Watcher went home: He found roses all over the floor, candles everywhere. There was a note from his girlfriend inviting him to join her in his room. He found her, in a red dress, lying on his rose covered bed, neck broken. He went to avenge her and got kidnapped and tortured. Exactly like Angelus had planned."

She paused, letting them digest her tale. She went on.

"The point is that the biggest bad guys are going to play with your emotions. They're going to push you until you snap. Because that will weaken you. Even if you're the best fighter ever, getting emotional is the best way to get killed."

Tosh nodded. "Is that your first rule? Don't get emotional?"

Buffy shook her head, sending her blonde hair flying around her.

"No. That's my first lesson. There's one and only one rule: Don't die. There's just several ways to do it."

The blonde woman looked at Ianto. "It went okay?"

"She's safe, back at your apartment."

"Thanks."

"What is she doing here anyway?" Tosh asked. "I mean, she's not the only witch and given your history, they could have sent someone else."

Buffy looked annoyed and put a lock of hair behind her ear before massaging her temples.

"Dawn's like that. Impulsive. A rebel. Annoying. And chatty. She's Dawn. I'm going to handle it. Just give me time. And don't be too hard on her, okay? She's not the only one to have screwed up back then. I was part of the problem too. But thank you for trying to protect me." She sighed. "And now, I think I'm going to head home. It's been a long day. Unless you need me?" she asked Jack.

He shook his head. "Go. Owen or Ianto can give you a ride."

"No, thanks. I'm going to walk. I need to clear my head."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I'll see you tomorrow!"

They watched her leave. Owen groaned and Tosh was by his side in an instant.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine. I'm one large bruise, but other than that..."

The Captain laughed. "That's okay, we have a good doctor. Go home and rest. Tosh and Ianto, you too."

No one protested. Between the Weevil and Buffy, they had had a full evening. Rest was a welcome thought.

Buffy took her time walking home. Not because she didn't want to face her sister. Okay, maybe that was part of it. Her talk with Owen in the basement had made some of her old fears and worries resurface. She didn't like what was happening. Whoever — or whatever — was behind the murders was evil and Torchwood seemed so innocent, so breakable. Her world could kill them all so easily. She was worried for them. Their work, which was hers now, was already hard and plenty dangerous. She wasn't sure if she could bear to lose one of them.

Where was the simple life she had been looking for when she had first arrived in Cardiff? It seemed like everything was just getting harder. Except for Jack who couldn't die, they were all fragile humans. She could handle their life. Aliens, new technologies, it was different from her archaic vision of the world. But she was still stronger and faster than a mere human. Her world was filled with demons and violence and pain and all the enemies were greater than any of them.

She suddenly doubted her choice. Could she really stay with them? Knowing that what she was bringing with her could destroy them? Could she really be that selfish? Because it was selfish. She liked the way they cared for her, for Buffy and not the Slayer. The way they looked after the human side of her. The Slayer didn't matter to them. They knew she could take care of herself and didn't need their help. So they made the human part of her more alive because they suddenly gave her a reason to exist. Even if it could kill them.

When she was in high school, she had been young and desperate to hold on to her normal life. She had rejected the Slayer and letting Willow and Xander in the secret was a way to rebel against it. Oh she was worried and she would have preferred them to stay out of the fight, but she had been young and naïve. She hadn't known what it meant to be the Slayer, what she would have to go through. She had gone to Hell and brought along innocent people with her. Without them, she would be dead. She would have died a long time ago. But they would have had a chance to have a life. They would have fallen in love, graduated, found a job, and had a family. They would have had a future. Now all they had in front of them were responsibilities, loss, pain and violence. And it was all because of her, because their paths crossed hers.

Could she do the same to the people of Torchwood? All right, they already made the choice for their paths in life. They had decided to protect Earth. To fight for the planet. Same as her really. But could she make their lives worse? Could she be that self-centred?

When she arrived at her apartment, the door was unlocked. She walked in and locked it behind her. Everything was dark. Behind the closed door of the guest room, she heard Dawn's voice, barely a whisper. She was talking to someone on the phone. Surely her fiancé. Her head still full of questions, she took a quick shower before going to bed.

She stayed awake for a long time, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling, before sleep finally claimed her. But even there her dreams were full of nightmarish visions.

¤ ¤ tbc ¤ ¤