I don't own Percy Jackson & the Olympians. Or the Wardstone Chronicles.
Lamia, Artemis and Athena looked at the person walking in. A woman with rediculously high heels, blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore a skirt that was so short it barely came over her hips and a pink tanktop. She smiled, a dazzling smile.
Lamia sighed. " Aphrodite. To what owe the .. pleasure of your company". Aphrodite shrugged and sat down. " I thought the three of you could use a lesson in having fun".
Athena folded her arms. " I am not going to take lessons from you. You have no useable knowledge whatsover. You look like a prostitue and act like one. And I am not in love with old barnable beard!".
Aphrodite squeeled. " Aw, The you and Poseidon are sooo cute! You even have nicknames for each other". Athena sighed. " Aphrodite. You assumption that I and that nonsensical Poseidon are involved in a relationship is nonsense".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. " You are really annoying. Can't you just accept you two are meant to be?".
Artemis sighed. " They aren't mean to be Aphrodite. Athena is a maiden, and vowed to be a virgin forever. And Poseidon is another of those males, doing whatever pleases him and not caring if people get hurt. They are complete opposites and Athena wouldn't even be interested, I am convinced. I am suprised, you as goddess of love, do not understand this".
Lamia raised her eyebrows. " I am surpised she even got the denotation of Athena's declaration".
Artemis chuckled. " I don't think she did". Aphrodite pouted. " Stop that already. I'm not stupid, you know".
Lamia smiled. " Sorry if this offends you, but any woman that cheats on her husband with Ares, is for me the definition of stupid".
Athena laughed softly. " That is a good one Lamia". Artemis didn't say anything, but her smile said enough. She found it amusing too.
Aphrodite rolled her eyes again. " I think any woman that vowes to be a virgin forever, is the definition of stupid. Seriously, who would want to live without sex for all eternity?".
Athena sighed. " I understand you cannot comprehend this Aphrodite, considering you are vain and shallow and all you care about is pleasure, but I simply fail to see the significance of sexual intercourse".
Aphrodite smiled. " How do you know you don't like it when you have never tried it?". Athena raised her eyebrows. " Why would I desire to try it?".
Artemis nodded. " Yes, it seems so insignificant. And men only give trouble". Aphrodite sighed. " Sure Artemis, you have been saying that for years. But what do you two know? You haven't even done it".
She looked at Lamia, who felt uncomfortable under her inspecting look. It was the same look an animal would give it's prey.
Aphrodite smiled, looking very satisfied with herself. " What do you think darling? Is sex important? Or do you share the opinion of your two little friends?".
Artemis and Athena looked at Lamia, both curious. Lamia shrugged. " I disagree with both statements. It isn't the most important thing, but it isn't insignificant either".
Aphrodite's smile grew. " See! I am right!". Athena sighed. " She didn't say you were right Aphrodite, she merely told us she didn't disagree with you. She has her own opinion on the matter and she is free to of course".
Aphrodite shrugged. " Whatever. My point is, that the two of you really should put an end to the virginity thing. You could have so much fun if you choose a man. And Athena, you and Poseidon would be just perfect!".
Athena started to look really annoyed, her grey eyes displaying her annoyance. She pursed her lips. " I will never like him Aphrodite. So stop this piffle already! Give up!". " No way, I am going to bring the two of you together. I just know you like him and -". " I don't like him, I despise him! I don't even want a man and if I did, it wouldn't be him. So stop this already Aphrodite!" Athena said. She was slowly losing her cool composure, too annoyed to really care.
Artemis sighed. " Yes Aphrodite, stop this before Athena has enough of it and decides to stop you. As in end your life".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes again. " Oh please, I'm just trying to help you! Your lives are empty without a little love, or at least lust". " No, our lives are perfect without those worthless pigs bringing mayhem to them " Artemis responded cooly. " But-".. " But nothing. Leave us alone Aphrodite".
Athena had regained her cool composure and cleared her throat. " Listen to Artemis, Aphrodite. Your attempts are truly infuriating. And useless. Just stop already, Artemis and I will never break our vows anyway".
Aphrodite looked at Lamia. " You say something! They are crazy! Tell them they should-". " I am not going to say they have to find a man or anything. They are better off without them , believe me". " But what about you? Don't you want a man? Someone to cuddle with, to spend time with, to love. Maybe bear him children?".
Lamia sighed. She really didn't like this subject. " No. My husband is the only man I would possibly be interested in and he.. he is dead. I don't want a man, I am doing great alone. All I need is my children and friends".
Aphrodite stared at her, her eyes widened and her mouth a little open. " You have to be kidding me! You can't be serious Lamia. If you want to, you can have basically every man you want to. You can even have my father! The way he looked at you -".
" She told you she didn't want a man Aphrodite. Leave her alone" Artemis said softly, smiling at Lamia. Athena was smiling too and looked triumohant now Lamia was agreeing with her instead of Aphrodite.
Aphrodite grunted. " Argh! You are all impossible. Why wouldn't you want some love? Don't we all want to?".
Lamia smiled and looked at Artemis and Athena. " Friendship is all I need". Athena and Artemis smiled too. Athena nodded. " Lamia is , indeed, correct. Having an ally is the perfect solution for the wish to have anyone to conversate with and-".
"Shut up Thee! Please don't try to rationalize friendship, will you?" Artemis said. Athena sighed, but was smiling. " I will try".
Aphrodite sighed. " Well, at least you have some friends, that is a start I suppose". Her expression brightened. " If you won't let me convince you, let's play truth and dare. I will start!".
She looked at Lamia. " Lamia, truth or dare". " Uh, truth?". "Great! What are the first three words you would use to describe your husband?".
Lamia smiled. Although the thought of John still hurt her now he was gone, she couldn't but smile when she thought of him. " Smart, sweet and handsome" she responded.
Aphrodite cooed. " Aw! That's so cute! How handsome exactly was he? How did he even look? And was he good at-". " Aphrodite! You are supposed to only ask one question" Athena said. " But I want to ask more!". " Well, you can't".
Aphrodite sighed. " Fine. I will ask you then! Truth or dare?". Athena shrugged. " Truth". Aphrodite pouted. " Why not dare?".
Athena raised her eyebrows. " Please, I am not gullible. You will probably force me to do something involving kissing or other intimitate contact". Aphrodite giggled. " You count kissing as intimitate contact? Have you even kissed anyone before miss eternal virgin?".
Athena blushed a little. " I don't have to answer that question". " Yes, you do! You have chosen truth, so you have to!".
Athena sighed. " Strictly, I am not obliged to-". Artemis punched her. " Just tell us! You have made me curious".
Athena rubbed her shoulder. " It was completely futile to punch me!". Artemis smiled. " No, it wasn't. It was fun. And just tell us. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Aphrodite is right. You have to tell".
Athena sighed. " Fine. I was kissed once, but it doesn't really count". Lamia smiled. " Why not?". Athena shrugged. " I was little, well figuratively speaking, since I came out of dad's skull as a grown woman, but in years, I was still really young. I was one year or something and uncle Poseidon came to my room to say goodnight. He would always give me a kiss on my cheek to say goodnight. And he accidently kissed me on my mouth. It didn't mean anything". Athena was blushing, her head really red. She looked downwards for a moment, trying to avoid eyecontact.
" Oh my me! That is perfect! You know, I bet it wasn't accidently! Poseidon has had a crush on you like forever!" Aphrodite said, her eyes sparkling.
Athena looked upwards this time , as if she expected Zeus to be listening. " That is piffle Aphrodite. Poseidon likes me as much as he likes oil ships. And he hates them, because they sometimes poison the sea".
Aphrodite giggled. " Aw! You really don't know, do you? Have you never noticed the way he looks at you during meetings?".
Athena sighed. "Aphrodite. I have better things to do with my time than looking at that idiot". Aphrodite smiled. " Then why couldn't you take your eyes off him that one time we went swimming and he took his shirt off".
Athena turned an even brighter shade of red. " Preposterous! I would never do such a thing" she protested. Artemis frowned. " Now I think about it, I recall you were having trouble at looking at something else than Poseidon. Anything you have to add to that Athena?".
Lamia smiled. " She really couldn't take her eyes of him?". Athena looked at her. " What? You don't believe that gibberish, do you? It is riduclous to assume I would ever stare at his chest!".
Aphrodite giggled. " But you did. You looked at him like he was a piece of chocolatecake and you hadn't eaten in weeks". " I did not!". " Yes, you did! You were practically drooling. I am suprised you didn't just jump on him". " I would never do anything like that!". " Maybe. But you wanted it!". " Argh, only a fool like you could speculate I would do something obtuse like staring at a man's chest".
Aphrodite giggled. " You mean I'm obtuse for knowing you feel attracted to him and wanted to jump his bones?".
Lamia frowned. " What on earth does that phrase means?". Aphrodite smiled and winked at Lamia. " It means Athena is a liar. She wanted to rip his clothes of and have sex with him".
Athena, by now even redder as a tomato, shook her head. " I absolutely have no desire, and never will, to rip his clothes of, like you put it. The only occasion when I will ever touch that man, is to hurt him. To kick him, for example".
Aphrodite giggled again. " But you are already hurting him Athena. Letting him wait so long, it is just cruel!".
Athena grunted. " Argh. You are insufferable! Stop the assumptions already. I am not attracted to him, I don't like him and I will certainly never touch him!". " Liar!". " Aphrodite! I am not lying. I am not vain and shallow like you. I don't want a physcial relationship. Hence, I don't want any relationship!".
Lamia looked at the two debating goddesses. Athena was still red, either from anger or embarresment, and she was talking fast, giving more and more reasons why she would never like that obtuse, annoying, vain, infuriating, childish barnacle beard while Aphrodite kept giving reasons why she would.
" You do like him! If you don't why do you sometimes look at him with such longing? And I have seen your look the few times he took your shirt of while you were close". Athena sighed. " You mean the look of utter disgust?".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. " No. More the look of utter lust. Seriously, you gave him the kind of look a wild animal might have". " You are insane. It is the only explanation for you futile and obtuse assumptions. You don't even have arguments for it and it is completely illogical".
" That is because love is illogical! Like you would know if you would just give Poseidon a chance". " I won't! I am a maiden Aphrodite! I am not even supposed to have a relationship. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be with Poseidon!".
Aphrodite was finally silent, contemplating this. It only took her a few second to start squeeling with joy. " Forbidden love! Oh. ! It's perfect" she concluded.
Lamia grunted. " Please let someone stop her already. This is really annoying. I can't take it anymore!".
Artemis smiled and nodded. " I vote we kick her out". Athena smirked. " I second that motion". Lamia smiled. " It isn't really a motion, but I am in".
Lamia, Artemis and Athena got up at the same moment, walking towards Aphrodite. Who paled a little when she understood their intention. " Wait a minute! You can't just throw me out, it isn't- Let me go, I-".
Athena grabbed Aphrodite, while Lamia opened the door. Athena and Artemis pushed Athena out of the room and Lamia immediately close the door. And locked it. Athena turned and smiled. "What do we do now?".