Camp SING!
Ten Years ago
"You should really consider moving closer to the area," Rachel laughed, watching the blonde.
Quinn yawned and stretched out on Rachel's couch. Another long day at the studio had left them both exhausted. The show had been picked up quickly and they'd been working nonstop. Rachel had figured a musical show would be a hard sell but apparently it had only taken a little shopping to two different networks before one snatched it up. It certainly hadn't hurt having the Alan Peters name attached to the project. It also hadn't hurt that Alan was close friends with one of the head executives with Twentieth Century Fox. Still, everyone involved with the show knew that it hadn't been connections that sealed the deal. The show was special. Connections got the right people to see it but the show spoke for itself.
It was exhilarating to have a steady job. They were picked up for thirteen episodes. Just enough time to see if they would gather up the kind of audience that the network hoped for. Then if they were successful, they'd get another nine episodes for a full season order. The entire cast was thrilled and determined to put everything they had to ensure they got the back nine.
Each time Rachel received a new script, she was excited to get back to work. She hadn't had such a renewed love for acting since she finally got to play Fanny Brice- her dream role. She was so happy to have found the opportunity to work and truly love her job…and her costars.
Quinn was excited to be attached to a project she actually believed in. All of her prior work had been somewhat of a fluke. Her first play and eventually first film had been personal but the main reason she had been involved had been Jessica. Her first series had been more about helping out Mark than actually wanting to be on a teen drama about vampires. She hated Twilight in high school and had never wanted that for her career. SING! was something she actually believed in and she knew it was good…plus she loved all of her costars.
That day had been a perfect example of what both loved about SING!. Half of the cast arrived early for a morning shoot. Then when the rest of the cast arrived in the afternoon, they had a full dance rehearsal. It was exhausting but fun. The guys were ridiculous. They had been jumping around on practice trampolines all day. Courtney spent their breaks attempting to get Rachel and Quinn involved in Twitter. Chase and Scott had gotten into a water bottle fight that ended up encompassing the entire group. Soon their choreographer even got involved in the water fight. Somehow one of the assistant choreographer found squirt guns in the props department and their lunch break had become an all out war. The majority of the cast and crew ended up taking over the entire corner of the lot, hiding behind cars, jumping out from picnic tables, forming alliances, and breaking alliances. Few remained unscathed and dry.
After the squirt gun war, Rachel, Quinn, Chase, Matthew, and Courtney had gone back into hair and makeup for another scene while some of the other cast members went to the studio to record background vocals for the next number. In the hair and makeup trailer, Courtney had uploaded a video of their epic water battle to her twitter. She finally got Chase and Matthew to make accounts. She swore they all needed professional Twitter accounts for their future fans to follow. Quinn rolled her eyes but Rachel had been a little intrigued by the concept, especially when Courtney's video of their water battle got over 100,000 hits in less than 24 hours.
Everyone had been busy for fourteen hours. Filming, dancing, singing. It was tiring but wonderful. At the end of the day, hungry and dragging, Scott offered up his home for dinner. In what had become tradition, Quinn threw her overnight bag into Rachel's car and headed for their group dinner.
Quinn was still amazed that after spending most of her day with the same people- she wasn't sick of them. They were clearly all exhausted but still had fun making dinner together. It certainly beat driving all the way back to her apartment where she would heat up leftovers by herself. Mark, her roommate, had been crashing at his fiancé's apartment more and more. It was almost as if Quinn lived alone. The drive itself was exhausting and after such a long rigorous day, Quinn was more than happy to crash at Rachel's again when the brunette offered. In fact, Quinn stayed at Rachel's apartment more than her own during the busier weeks of filming.
"Feet," Rachel commanded, pushing Quinn's feet off the couch so she could sit down on the other end.
Rachel passed a glass of red wine to Quinn who finally sat up with another yawn.
"You look beat," Rachel giggled.
Quinn quirked her eyebrow then laughed when Rachel yawned.
"You've looked livelier too, Berry," Quinn smirked.
"I told you to stay over last night. You could've gotten an extra hour of sleep and we all knew today was going to be crazy. Granted, I didn't foresee a squirt gun battle in my daily plans. Still, you should've listened to me and just stayed last night."
Quinn rolled her eyes and sunk back into the soft couch. She could barely keep her eyes open. Red wine certainly wouldn't keep her awake. She knew Rachel was right. The brunette had offered to let Quinn crash the night before. Quinn had honestly been afraid of over-staying her welcome. She'd been staying with Rachel so much over the past three weeks. While it was great for their budding friendship to talk and get to know each other all over again, Quinn still had lingering fears that Rachel was just being nice but didn't really trust their friendship. Having an extra house guest at least three nights a week probably hadn't been ideal for Rachel who worked just as hard, if not harder, than the entire cast. If Quinn was exhausted, she couldn't imagine how tired Rachel was. Rachel had more solos. Rachel had more scenes. She had more lines to memorize. How the brunette was even functioning sometimes amazed Quinn. Still, Rachel offered up her home time and again.
"I needed to at least eat some of the food in my refrigerator," Quinn joked.
"You bought half of the food in my refrigerator. You're always welcome here. You know that, right? I love having you here…if I'm being totally honest, it's a little lonely when Kate's gone for extended trips or contracts," Rachel confessed.
"Where is she this time?"
"New York right now for rehearsals. Then she's contracted to go to London. I'm happy that she's happy. I'm thrilled she's working. She swears she's always loved the stage more than television. I don't think that was a dig at me but I'm not entirely certain."
Kate McCormick had been at NYADA with Rachel. She was a year ahead of Rachel. They knew of each other but hadn't exactly hung out in the same circle. She had apparently dated Brody for about a week, long before Rachel had dated the guy. That had really been the only thing the two had in common for years. Then Kate became part of the ensemble during Funny Girl and the two had actually become friends. When Rachel left the show and announced her plan to move to Los Angeles "just to give it a shot", Kate had been eager to try something new as well. They had found an apartment together. Kate hadn't had much success in television or film auditions. Rachel, on the other hand, had booked SING!. It wasn't necessarily that Kate was jealous but their friendship had been strained by Rachel's long hours.
Kate had been auditioning back in New York more and more during the recent weeks. She'd been constantly out of the apartment. She'd been gone so frequently that Quinn hadn't even met the girl…and Quinn was always around ever since the first day on SING!.
"Do you want anymore dessert?" Rachel asked, nodding to the vegan cheesecake on the coffee table.
"I couldn't eat anymore even if I wanted to," Quinn groaned.
They both giggled. Quinn was lighter than she'd been in high school. They actually got on very well. Rachel had always known they would if Quinn would've given her half a chance back then. Now things were different. Quinn was still Quinn but without the weight of the world on her shoulders.
They were actually friends. It was weird maneuvering around their complicated past. As long as they stayed in the present, they really seemed to get along. Quinn was a little reserved to talk about the past. She had attempted to apologize a few times but Rachel had insisted it wasn't needed. The Tony winner knew she should keep her guard up but she had craved Quinn's friendship for so long. She took each bit of honesty and held on to it. Rachel seemed to prefer to pretend that high school hadn't even happened. She was happy to forget if it meant they could have nights like these. She loved having Quinn around. She loved drinking wine together and eating cheesecake. She loved talking about their days. She loved talking about the show. She loved going over lines together. If they could avoid the past, she could easily separate Former Tormentor Quinn Fabray from current friend and costar Quinn Fabray.
Quinn was all too happy to forget her past as well. She knew she needed to apologize, whether Rachel accepted it or not. She also knew she needed to be honest with Rachel about her past. Growing up in her parents household hadn't been easy and she had taken out a lot of her frustration with herself on Rachel. She owed the brunette an explanation. Part of her was afraid that digging up the past again would hurt the friendship they had been carefully constructing. At the same time, she knew they couldn't truly move on unless they talked about their past.
"Did you know I was six when I went on my first diet," Quinn muttered.
Rachel did a double take. Quinn never talked about their past unless it started with an apology. She wasn't exactly an over-sharer about her childhood or anything that happened before McKinley. Talking about the past meant working through issues that Rachel would rather ignore. Being reminded of their rocky past, would remind her how foolish she was for trusting this new Quinn so implicitly to even consider her a best friend.
"You were six?" Rachel asked incredulously.
Quinn nodded, swirling her wine around in her glass. That hadn't exactly been the way she had envisioned starting this conversation but maybe it was for the best. Maybe she was a little more tired than she thought. Maybe the wine had gone to her head too quickly. She smiled to herself knowing whatever the reason, she couldn't stop now. She couldn't seem to stop her mouth from opening and spilling all her secrets. She couldn't stop opening up. She knew she needed to get it all out. Rachel had this calming effect on her. The brunette made Quinn want to spill all her secrets. For the sake of a real friendship, she needed to explain everything.
"I went to Christy Branken's sixth birthday party. We were all playing princesses. I just remember thinking I was so pretty because I had a tiara. Christy's mom brought out the cake and my mother spoke up. 'Lucy Q, you don't need a piece.' I pouted and wanted to know why- so my mother announced, in front of everyone, that I was getting too tubby and I really didn't need any cake...I was six. And maybe she was right. Maybe I was a little chubbier than some of the other kids but I certainly wasn't obese. Most of it was probably baby fat. I wasn't sad or embarrassed. I really didn't think much of it. I was just mad I couldn't have cake," Quinn explained with almost an eerie detachment.
Rachel was silent. She didn't know how to respond. The Quinn she had grown up with would've dangled a fraction of that information as some sort of justification for being rude to Rachel. Then as soon as Rachel felt sorry for her, the old Quinn would have snapped and throw it all in her face. Logically, Rachel knew that Quinn had changed but sometimes she still waited for the other shoe to drop. Talking about the past made Rachel apprehensive and nervous. Why couldn't they just ignore it?
"My mother was just…my mother has struggled with her own issues far more complex than anything a six year old could've grasped. I get it now. At the time, I just kind of thought my mom was a bitch…the other kids started calling me Tubbers. Christy's mom had to step in and tell them to stop teasing me because my mother was too horrified and a little too drunk to say anything."
Rachel stared at Quinn with a wide-eyed horror. She still couldn't believe that the woman that she had come to know so well as Judy Fabray had ever been so unattached from reality as she had been in the past. Rachel had been around for more than a few of Quinn's skype dates with her mother. Judy had always seemed so invested in Quinn's life and so proud of her daughter. Sure, Rachel knew that the Fabrays were far from perfect. A perfect family wouldn't kick out their daughter for making a mistake at sixteen. Still Rachel had thought that Russell had always been the problem. She had assumed that Judy had been meek, mild, and afraid of her strict husband.
"My mom put me on a diet after that. Up until that party, I had no clue that my parents weren't perfect. Once I caught on, it was pretty hard to ignore the truth. That's why Christy Branken was the first person I ever slushied. It wasn't really her fault. I wanted to blame her anyway."
"Quinn, you don't have to explain. I mean if you don't want to talk about it," Rachel squeaked.
Quinn took another long sip of her wine. She eyed Rachel carefully. She knew needed to talk about it. She didn't know if she was getting drunk but she felt like if anybody could somehow understand her it would be Rachel. Rachel had been rejected by her own mother. At six, that's exactly how Lucy had felt. Quinn had been too much of an insecure idiot in high school to take advantage of the fact that Rachel could've been a real friend who understood.
"I don't think I've ever told anyone that. I don't know. I just feel like…you never pity me. You never did. You just listen. I should've realized that in high school," Quinn shrugged before taking a deep breath.
"You never told Santana or Brittany?"
"No. I was way too concerned with making sure everyone believed that I was Quinn and not Lucy. I couldn't talk about Lucy for years."
"I think I would've liked Lucy," Rachel smiled softly.
"I think you would've like Quinn if I hadn't been a bitch," Quinn chuckled with an eye roll.
They were silent for a minute both sipping wine. Quinn smiled and winked before snagging one last bite of cheesecake. Maybe part of growing up and becoming a real adult meant accepting your flaws and showing them to the world. Rachel had been nothing but kind since the first day of filming. She'd been nothing but kind in high school. Quinn knew she could trust her. Plus, her therapist had told her it was okay to talk to friends about her life. She'd been assured that was normal and healthy. It had taken time but eventually she had realized her therapist was right. Now Rachel was a friend. It was time to get some things out into the open.
"I think my parents had a lot of problems before I was aware of them. Dad was better at hiding them. Mom was better at drinking them away. She struggled with anorexia since she was in high school. I think that was always her biggest fear- that if she wasn't thin my father wouldn't find her appealing. He was having affairs even back then. I know about it now but I didn't have a clue at the time. My mom did. I think that's part of the reason she was so hard on me. She was struggling with her own body images and her own diseases, her drinking, my father's affairs…they both started fighting more. After a couple of years, she was usually too drunk to watch my diet so I rebelled...it was my comfort when things at home went south. Tubbers changed to Lucy Caboosey. It just kept getting worse until I hit the breaking point."
"That's when you started loosing weight?" Rachel asked gently.
Rachel really didn't know if anybody knew the real story of how Lucy Caboosey became Quinn Fabray. She was fascinated but heartbroken for the poor little girl who desperately wanted her parents to love her. She didn't even realize her own eyes had welled up with tears until that thought.
"Yeah I guess. I thought if I could fit into this mold of the perfect daughter then the problems with my parents would magically fix themselves," Quinn answered.
"So you became Quinn," Rachel nodded.
"I went through a lot of therapy in college to find different ways to navigate through my head. I was raised on negative thoughts and I always assumed I was the cause of every problem in my family. When losing the weight didn't change our dynamics, I started obsessing over different flaws. I figured if I couldn't fix my parents, I could always fix myself. Every time I found something I didn't like in myself, I changed it. I didn't learn to accept my flaws. I was simply told to change them."
"And so you kept changing yourself. As a kid. In high school. Even when we all thought you were okay…you weren't," Rachel muttered softly.
Rachel had known Quinn always had this dark cloud hanging around when they were in high school. It was obvious that Quinn had been sad and pretty alone at the time. The prettiest, most popular girl was probably the loneliest. She really wished their past could've been different. She knew that Quinn's insecurities had been the root of her cruelty.
"There were times when I thought I was okay…but no, I wasn't really ever okay in high school. First, I hated my nose. I got that fixed because that's the stellar parenting of the Fabray household- give a thirteen-year old plastic surgery. Then it was acne. I could've been a proactiv ad. That didn't fix my family. Then I dyed my hair. Maybe if I looked just like them. When that didn't work, I became reckless. I got pregnant which was horrifying to not be in control of my own weight for the first time but it was also freeing."
"I remember. You seemed...happier. I mean obviously stressed but freer," Rachel smiled sympathetically.
"For a little while I was. The real problem in high school was that I never felt beautiful. My nose was bought. My hair was fake. The last time I ever felt pretty was when I wore a tiara at the birthday party of a six year old. I fixated on winning prom queen. I failed. I hung on for a while but Finn dumping me for a girl who never had to try to be so beautiful...from the very first time you complimented me in high school, I hated you," Quinn confessed with a grimace.
It had been the third day of classes during freshman year. Quinn had strutted down the hallway just as Frannie taught her. She tried to put on a front of being invincible and desirable. Her sister had actually coached her during the summer. When she turned the corner, she ran right into Rachel Berry. Both of their books had scattered. Somebody laughed. Quinn had been mortified because her prize possession- a worn copy of Wuthering Heights- had slid across the floor. A senior boy helped her with her books but immediately assumed that Wuthering Heights belonged to a nerdy looking Rachel Berry instead of a blonde Cheerio. After he left, Rachel handed the book back to Quinn.
"Wuthering Heights. I love that book," Rachel had smiled.
Quinn nodded while cautiously glancing around. Her sister's warning about being careful who she was seen associating with had been ringing in her ears.
"You're in my English class. I'm Rachel Berry," Rachel had announced proudly.
Quinn snatched the book back and started to walk off without responding. Some of the older Cheerios were watching. She didn't want them to think she was loser.
"I would assume someone with an appreciation of classic literature would at least know the proper conduct for introductions," Rachel had giggled.
"Lu-Quinn. Quinn Fabray," Quinn had muttered.
"You're new here, right? I don't remember seeing you in middle school."
Quinn nodded, glancing quickly over to the older Cheerios again. They weren't paying much attention.
"That's what I thought. I'm sure I would have remembered someone like you. You're probably the prettiest girl in this school...and brains. I imagine you'll be quite popular. I should know. I intend to be popular as well. I'm going to be famous some day when I star on Broadway," Rachel had grinned proudly.
Quinn had blushed when Rachel said she was the prettiest girl in school. One of the older Cheerios had quickly come over and ushered Quinn away from the argyle-wearing freakshow- stating that Rachel had two fathers and that Quinn shouldn't associate with her. The Cheerio said that Rachel was weird and would probably say anything to get Quinn to be her friend. Rachel couldn't be trusted. She would use her for her popularity.
Rachel had been hit with her first slushie moments after the older Cheerio escorted Quinn across the hallway. In that instant, Quinn had hated Rachel Berry for nearly ruining her chances at being a popular Cheerio...and for calling her the prettiest girl in school. She was sure that Rachel knew something about her past and had said it as a joke.
"I hated you in high school because you always saw through me and yet you still had these unrealistic expectations of how beautiful I was. All I could see were the flaws or the pieces of me that I bought- somehow you saw something beautiful...and I thought you were full of shit. All of freshman year, I could've sworn you knew about Lucy and you were just waiting to strike. Then I was so angry because you never let anyone else get to you. Everything got to me. You could just let it roll off your back. I hated how confident you were. I hated that you were beautiful just by being you. I bought my beauty. Santana got a boob job. You didn't do any of that and I kept losing boyfriends to you. I was so jealous. The truth is I hated myself far more than I could've ever hated you, but it was easier to take it out on you then admit I was miserable. And I wanted to hate you because you made me feel like you saw me when I thought I was so good at pretending. By the end of sophomore year, I was pretty sure that you see right through all of my bullshit. That was terrifying. I was so sure that it was all fake, none of the good in me was real and all of my beauty was bought. I was so afraid you would see that and tell everyone. The nicer you were- the more I hated myself. The more I hated myself...I always took it out on you," Quinn confessed, still seeming to be unaffected, rather detached about her own pain.
They both took long pulls from their wine glasses. Wine could smooth it all over. Wine could make former enemies confess the real reasons why. Nothing like a little alcohol to level all playing fields. Rachel sniffled a little and Quinn looked at her for the first time since she started talking about high school. Rachel was crying softly.
"Sorry. I get a little…I'm a cryer," Rachel shrugged helplessly, wiping her eyes again.
"It's okay I'm…I'm a represser and sometimes a total bitch."
Quinn's light chuckle turned into a full-bellied laugh after a moment. Rachel was a little stunned but ended up chuckling a little as well. Neither really knew why they were laughing.
"Quinn, you are so beautiful. Not just because you have great bone structure or blonde hair or a straight nose. The past month, working together…we all adore you. Not because we think you're hot. We adore you because you're fun. You're smart. You're…you're probably my best friend," Rachel laughed weakly with teary eyes and a wobbling bottom lip.
"I still have a hard time communicating. In high school, I mainly used anger or tears. In college, therapy helped break some of that. It's still easier for me to get mad or just cry instead of actually explain anything that I'm feeling. I've gotten a lot better. I still have an occasional sit-down with my therapist but over all, I've learned to manage. I haven't miraculously been healed- or exorcised all my demons. But I have learned to communicate better and to train myself to think a little differently. It's taken a lot of time and I've probably owed you this explanation for years. At first, I wasn't sure how to apologize. How do you say I'm sorry for being a horrendous bitch and taking all of my self-hatred out on you? It doesn't really seem to make up for it. Then I really didn't know how to explain or quite frankly if I trusted you enough to explain…but things are different now...what I'm really trying to say is that- I think- well it's not even so much that I think but it's just a fact…you're my best friend and I'm really, really so incredibly sorry that I treated you like shit in high school. So I know that never feeling good enough or never believing I'm beautiful wasn't a good reason to torture you. I know that you shouldn't forgive but I hope that you will. Because the truth is I don't think I've ever trusted anybody as much as I trust you, or have always trusted you- as fucked up as that is," Quinn laughed.
Rachel was silent for a moment before happily springing into action and hugging Quinn. They were both a little drunker than either initially realized but at least the hard part was over. An alcohol-induced apology that was still entirely sincere and fully explained. It was kind of a turning point mixed in with red wine. Maybe Quinn wouldn't have been as forthcoming about her past. Maybe she wouldn't have explained as much as she did. It had been eating away at her though. She had wanted to apologize. Now a weight was lifted for both of them. The final awkward conversation that was needed to push them into a new level of friendship- the last hurtle left from high school.
"I'm so happy to hear you say that. I thought maybe we were getting there but I didn't want to push you into being best friends," Rachel squealed.
Quinn laughed and pulled away with a grin.
"Okay, okay- I just wanted to be honest with you. I wanted to fill you in. I know you said I didn't need to but I needed to apologize. Who knows maybe it's the wine," Quinn chuckled.
"The apology wasn't necessary. I mean I think I had some idea anyway but to have you fully explain- I mean we all knew your parents weren't the easiest people to get along with and though I've tried to tread with caution when it comes to you, I've never truly blamed you for any of it. Yes, some days were terrible. Sometimes you were exceptionally cruel. However, I think I forgave you a long time ago. If it's a formal acceptance of your apology that you need, then I am happy to say that you are forgiven," Rachel smiled.
"Thank you. I still have my bad days. Hating myself for years wasn't something I could magically get over in one day. Sometimes, I need to stare in the mirror and verify that I still have a different nose- it seems ridiculous but some things between Lucy and Quinn- I just can't shake. Some days, I act like a total bitch because I woke up feeling ugly and I'm defensive from the start….but I'm having more good days. I have more good days with you. I'm-I'm really glad we're finally friends," Quinn smiled a little sheepishly.
Rachel grinned and took Quinn's hands in her own.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Seriously, you have no clue! I love my spending my days with you and I happen to have a proposition for you," Rachel beamed excitedly.
"A proposition?"
"Since the show has been picking up the pace lately and as I'm sure you've realized I happen to live much closer to the studio. You're here all the time anyway. It's not like we can't stand sharing space- well I'll cut to the chase, which is so unlike me because normally I love to drag things out with a dramatic pause to build the suspense-," Rachel rambled.
"Rachel," Quinn cut in, raising an eyebrow.
"Right. As you know- Kate got the part in that new show. It's premiering on the West End so her trip to London is a little more permanent that a month in New York here or a week in Spain there. I wanted to tell you earlier...she's moving out. I didn't want to spring it on you without properly addressing some issues but…I want you to move in."
"You want me to live with you?"
"I want you to take over Kate's part of the lease for the next three months and then if you don't totally despise sharing living quarters with me, perhaps we could consider re-signing as actual roommates," Rachel confirmed.
"You're offering me your roommate's room?" Quinn asked slowly.
"Yes, Quinn. I am asking if you would like to live with me since your lease is ending shortly and Kate has to leave. The timing is perfect. You're my best friend. I'm your best friend. We're past the things that happened between us in high school. It's really quite perfect. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather live with."
"I-uh-I…yeah. Yeah, okay. That would actually- it's only a couple of months and then we can see how things go from there," Quinn stumbled over her response.
"Perfect," Rachel squealed, throwing her arms around Quinn again in another hug.
"You're still quite the hugger," Quinn laughed. "And without asking permission these days."
"Oh I can stop. I mean I can ask you first," Rachel replied with wide, fearful eyes.
"It's fine. To be honest, you never really asked me in high school. You always asked everyone else."
"I guess deep down I just knew we'd be best friends someday," Rachel practically glowed with excitement.
"Okay, don't let it get to your head Berry. We'll give this a shot. We'll try being roommates. It's a little different than me couch-crashing a couple of nights a week. We'll see how things go."
Two weeks later, Quinn moved into Rachel's apartment. It was strange how much their lives had changed in a few months. They worked on the same television show. They were roommates. They were best friends. Rachel probably managed to get under Quinn's skin more than anyone else. She still annoyed Quinn from time to time but for whatever reason, Quinn kept opening up. She was sure that Rachel knew things about her that no one else did. The same worked in reverse. Rachel ended up spilling all the details about her past relationships with Finn, Brody, and even this guy Josh that she was casually talking to. It wasn't serious but they'd met when he was doing a show in San Francisco. One of Rachel's friends from Gracie had been in the production and introduced her to Josh. Quinn had actually gone to the show with her.
Quinn talked freely about her past with Rachel. She explained everything that went down with Jessica. Rachel swore if she met Jessica she would slap her or something. Quinn met a girl at the same show in San Francisco. She talked to Dana at the after-party while Rachel was talking to Josh. The night ended with Quinn and Rachel giggling in their hotel room while Quinn explained that while she didn't have a type per say- Dana certainly wasn't her type.
It was one of the most open friendships either girl had ever had. Rachel's friendship with Kurt was still sacred but had become strained somewhat after her final breakup with Finn. There were certain issues she felt she had to dance around because ultimately Kurt was still the brother of her ex-fiancé.
Quinn had Santana and Brittany. Still, there were secrets that she couldn't really talk about with them because it was Santana and Brittany. She loved them but could never fully shake the need to compete with Santana and keep Lucy away from Santana. She could never fully tell Brittany because she knew Brittany couldn't keep a secret from Santana.
It was freeing to have a real best friend for the first time. It was like her friendship with Mercedes multiplied by a million. Having a friend who was a friend for no reason. No personal gain. Not about constantly topping each other. Just a friend who listened, who laughed, and who hugged, of course…because Rachel Berry was a hugger.