Presents - Part II
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"Sit down."
Nodding shyly, the girl scrambled into the chair she had fallen asleep in the night before, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. As Severus sat in his own chair, he took a moment to look her over. It had only been a few days since she was found outside of Hogwarts, and of course she hadn't changed drastically over night. The more obvious bruises had faded away thanks to creams provided by Madam Pomfrey, he noticed. But she was still too pale, and far too skinny for her own good. Severus mentally reminded himself to make sure she drank her nutrition potions with each meal, and that he would have to take her outside soon. And her badly cut hair needed a trimming. In fact, the only improvement he saw in her that there was a little more color in her cheeks and how her green eyes had gotten brighter and clearer.
Why would anyone let him take care of such a child? One that would need certain care that he might not be able to give.
Groaning, Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. While he certainly felt old at times, thanks to old wounds from both physical and mental attacks, he certainly didn't feel old enough to be a parent, even if it was only temporary. He was only twenty-seven, for the love of Merlin! That was rather young in wizarding years. And yet Dumbledore was practically forcing him to become this girl's temporary father...
How could the Ministry even approve that? He knew what they thought about him. After all, he was a former Death Eater, and they didn't care that he had changed sides long before the Dark Lord was defeated. They ignored the fact that he never participated in the rapes, or the torture, and if he was forced to kill, he made it as quick and as painless as possible. To them it was once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. One that had quickly rose through the ranks and had made potions for the Dark Lord at his beck and call.
There was other things that made him hesitate. Like how Lucius would feel about him adopting a possible Muggleborn or Halfblood. His best friend had been forced into the Death Eaters by his father, and had even tried to convince Severus not to join, though obviously he ignored him. Dumbledore couldn't make him a spy like he done to Severus, but he did use him for finding out things that the spy couldn't find on his own. And because of that, Lucius, his wife, Narcissa, and their baby Draco were spared, though the public was told that he was under the Imperius Curse.
But even though he was not a Death Eater, and was one of the many happy with the Dark Lord's death, Lucius and his family did not like Muggleborns, and even some half-bloods. And it was clear that the girl could be either one of them. It wasn't even as if he could hide her, he had a meal with him every week. He really didn't want to know what Lucius would think of this girl... if he decided to take her in, of course.
"Mr. Sev'rus?" The girl was looking at him with a tilt of her head, though the fear was still in her eyes. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," growled Severus, and berated himself when the girl shrank back. He took a deep breath, and placed his hands in his lap. "I must apologize for my behavior. Things of late have been... overwhelming. But I don't want to talk to you about that. Headmaster Dumbledore and I had a talk. It seems until the Ministry finds your parents, or guardians, you're to stay here at Hogwarts."
"Really?" said the girl, perking up. She really did remind him of a rabbit sometimes.
"Yes," stated Severus. "And until we find out your parents, and in turn, your identity, I'm to... to help you pick out a name that you'd like to go by."
"A name?" said the girl slowly. "I get to pick my own name?"
Nodding, Severus snapped his fingers. "Queenie!"
There was a 'pop' and Queenie was bowing to him. "Yes, Master Severus?"
"I believe there is a baby name book in the library, fetch it for me, please. Also, a plate of biscuits." It would have to keep her hunger at bay till dinner time.
"Right away, Master Severus!" squeaked Queenie.
"We will go through the book and pick out a name that you like," Severus informed the girl as Queenie disappeared. "Hopefully, it won't take too long, so we can go to dinner after we're done."
"But I can't read," the girl reminded him in a embarrassed mumble.
Taking a deep breath so as not to snap, Severus then said, "Then I'll read it to you." He almost hated how the girl smiled at him, a mixture of shyness and appreciation. Almost.
"Here you is, Master Severus!" squeaked Queenie proudly when she returned a minute later, the plate of biscuits and book floating above her head landing gently on the nearby table. "If yous be needing anything else, just call on Queenie!" Then she disappeared with another 'pop'.
Grabbing up the book, Severus almost grimaced at the title, Magical Names for Your Magical Baby Girl. Really, who would pick such a ridiculous name? But before he could even crack it open, there was a tug on his robes. When he look down, he found the girl staring up at him, forcing out a question before he even opened his mouth. "Can I sit up there with you?" she asked in a rushed mumble that Severus barely understood, glancing away immediately after and biting her lower lip as she waited for an answer.
Raising an eyebrow, Severus glanced at his chair. It wasn't a big chair, and he didn't have a couch. He would hate to transfigure it, after all, it was one of his favorites. Unless he wanted her to sit in his lap. But he never had a child that close to him before. It felt... unnatural to even think about it. And yet, he use to do it all the time.
"Mumma, can I sit in your lap?"
"Of course sweetie," said his mother with a loving smile. Eileen Snape may have not been beautiful to others, but she was to the four year old Severus, even with the black and blue bruise on her left cheek that his father gave her last night. She patted her lap. "Come here, Severus."
Smiling, Severus went to his mother's side, holding up his arms while his mother picked him up gently by his underarms and plopped him into her lap. "Alright, my handsome boy," Eileen said as she tickled his sides, causing him to laugh. "What shall we read today?"
"I wanna finish the one from yesta'day!" proclaimed Severus happily as he snuggled next to his mother, leaning his head against her shoulder.
"Alright then," said Eileen as she reached to the side, picking up the book and flipping it to the bookmarked page. She cleared her voice before starting in a different voice, one much deeper then her usual voice.
"Here we are, Mrs. Beaver," said Mr. Beaver, I've found them all. Here are the Sons and Daughters of Adam and Eve..."
"Mr. Sev'rus?"
Snapping out of that memory, Severus closed his eyes briefly to erasing it from his mind before he glanced down at the girl, who must have been wondering why he hadn't said anything yet.
"If I must," Severus finally answered. Setting aside the book, he held out his hands, and as if she done it a thousand times, the girl lifted her arms up so he could pick her up, placing her in his lap gently. She barely weighed anything, he noticed. "There." But before he could take his hands back, the girl grabbed one, holding onto it with both her tiny hands.
On instinct, Severus stiffen.
Lowering her head, the girl seemed to be examining his hand, turning it slightly as she tried to look at it from all sides. "Your fingers are long," she said after a long moment. "Like spider legs!" she said with a giggle. "But they're all stained..."
From potions and ink and who knew what else. "Yes, I know, they're very ugly," snapped out Severus as he pulled his hand back.
"Nuh uh!" said the girl firmly, even shaking her head to emphasize her point. "I think they're neat!"
"Neat..." repeated Severus.
"Neat," said the girl again with a nod of her head. "Very neat." Before Severus could get out another word about the matter, she reached over him, and after making sure it was alright, grabbed a biscuit. "Come on, Mr. Sev'rus! I wanna find a name!"
Sighing, Severus plunked the book out of her hands and flipped it to a random page. "Don't get crumbs on me," he said as she nibbled on the chocolate biscuit. He narrowed his eyes at some of the names. "Jackie, ugh, that sounds like a boys name. Jacqueline. Jada. Jade. Why someone would want to be named after a rock, no matter how pretty it is, I have no idea. Jaden. Jean. Jamie. Another boy name. Jala. Jameson... that sounds like a butlers name."
The girl giggled at his comments.
"Any?" Severus asked, and was answered with a shake of the head. "Fine." He flipped to another page. "Gabriella. Mm, that might suit you. Gaea. Gail. Gayla. Gemma. Ugh, another stone. Genvieve. Georgetta. Gertrude. Sounds like the name of an old woman... Anything?"
Another shake of the head.
"I thought so." More flipping. "Levana. Lexus - no on that, I'm sure that's some foreign Muggle automobile. Leyna. Liana. Libby. Lilac. Lilith." Severus took a moment to swallow so he could ease the sudden dryness in his mouth before he spoke the next name on the list. "Lily..."
"That's a pretty name," said the girl softly when he didn't go on, finished with the dessert. After a long moment of silence, she gently took the book away and flipped to almost the beginning. Not even glancing at the names, she pressed a finger to the page. "What's that one say?"
Blinking, Severus looked down. "It says Abby."
"Mm... I like it." The girl decided instantly. "Can that be my name?"
It seemed she didn't even want to look through the other names, which was fine by him. If she wanted to pick a random name without care, he wasn't going to stop her. But still, Severus gave a little snort. "That will not do, it is a nickname."
"For what?"
"Abagail."
"Oh... well, can't you just call me Abby?"
"You have to have a full name." Severus huffed.
"Why?" the girl asked.
"It's the rules," answered Severus firmly, hoping to get it through to her. When the girl started to frown, he sighed, hating that he was about to admit defeat. "I suppose we can put down Abagail as your official name, but may have others call you Abby if that's what you want."
"So... my name's Abby now?"
"Yes, I suppose," Severus said with a shrug.
The newly named Abagail smiled brightly, and without warning, lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Severus stiffed as the girl attempted to strangle him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Sev'rus!" said the girl - Abby - happily, jumping up and down on him like he was a mattress. "This is my best Christmas ever!"
Grunting in slight pain, Severus pulled the girl away from his neck, siting her in his lap again. "How do you know if you don't remember anything before you arrived here?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
The smile sent his way was practically blinding. "How can it get better this?" replied Abby.
~o0o~
"Wow!" The girl - Abby - said as she entered the Great Hall for the first time, looking around in amazement. It did look rather spectacular, Severus had to admit. Festoons of holly and mistletoe hung all around the walls, snow drifted from the ceiling, though it never touched the tables, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room; some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles, and others had golden bubbles that shone like miniature suns.
And then there was the tables. Fat, roasted turkeys, mountains of roasted, mashed, and boiled potatoes, platters of chipolatas and tureens of buttered peas and corn, baskets of warm bread, silver boats filled with thick and rich gravy, and bowls of cranberry sauce covered each of the tables. The smell alone was almost overwhelming. There were also stacks of wizard crackers every few feet along the table, these party favors nothing like the feeble Muggle ones Severus remembering his father bringing home...
"Does it always look like this?" asked Abby as she continued to look around, her head twisting round and round as she did, but still managing to hold onto his robes and the drawings she had yet to give out.
"No. Since it is a holiday, the Headmaster has allowed it to be decorated," answered Severus. "It will go down after New Years."
"Aww... But I guess it wouldn't look so pretty if it was up there all the time," said Abby softly.
"Ah, my dear!" Dumbledore smiled as he approached Abby, who shyly smiled at the old wizard. He was dressed in dark blue robes with snowmen in pointed wizard hats dancing along the bottom. "Let me guess, you have picked out a name," he said knowingly.
"How'd ya know?" asked Abby in surprise, her eyes wide.
"Perhaps it was a lucky guess," said Dumbledore with a chuckle. "Now, tell me, what did you pick out?"
"Its Abby!" she answered with pink tinted cheeks. "But Mr. Sev'rus says that's a nickname, so my full name's Abagail! But I still wanna be called Abby, if that alright..."
"Its a lovely name," said Dumbledore said with a smile. "Why don't you tell you're new friends about it, Miss Abby," he said as he gestured towards the tables. "I'm sure they'll want to hear all about it."
"Can I, Mr. Sev'rus?" asked Abby, glancing up at him. When Severus nodded, she hesitated a moment before letting go of his robes and inching over to the nearest table, which was the Gryffindors. Almost immediately, Robin McGonagall spotted her and waved her over, and Abby shyly waved in return.
"I think she's attached to you," chuckled Dumbledore, ignoring the glare Severus sent his way. "Have you decided if you will take her in or not?"
"No, I have not," Severus growled. "How do you expect me to take care of a child, Dumbledore? I teach here, and have other students to look over! I have no time to watch over her. And she's a child that needs someone that will constantly be there until she stops fearing everyone she meets. Someone she trusts!"
"And she trusts you," pointed out Dumbledore. "Besides, I'm sure your house-elf - Queenie, wasn't it? - will be more than willing to watch over her sometimes. And since she was already doing so well with the older two of the Weasley family, I was also thinking of asking Molly Weasley to look over her sometimes, so she can meet some children her age. They have a son and daughter that are close to her in age, you know."
"Fascinating," drawled Severus. "Still, it's probably for the better that she live with someone other than me."
"... I know you don't hate her," said Dumbledore gently. "In fact, I think this is the closest I've seen you with anyone since Lily. So I don't see why you're so determined to push her away. What is it, Severus?" he asked when Severus didn't give an answer. "Are you afraid that you'll hurt her too?"
Looking to the Headmaster with his arms crossed defensively, Severus glared at the old man, who did nothing but look at him with... pity? "I have no reason to hurt the child," he hissed.
"Then what is it, my boy?" Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, ignoring how he stiffened at the touch. "Why won't you help her like you've helped so many of the other students in Slytherin?"
"I have never let a student stay in my quarters longer than a night," said Severus firmly. "And even that is only if the child really needs to stay with me."
"You don't think Abby really needs you?" said Dumbledore softly.
"Abagail warms up to almost anyone," answered Severus stiffly. "I'm sure over time, she will do well with anyone, someone who can care for her constantly."
"But she only trusts you," repeated Dumbledore. "Despite what people think, children do not give their trust easily. For Abby to trust you so easily and so blindly - that's not something that happens everyday. You hold a precious bird in your hands that could fly away and be hurt if you don't try and help it."
"And she's a fool for giving me that trust," snapped Severus.
After a long moment of studying, Dumbledore sighed. "Maybe, Severus, you need her more than she needs you."
"I doubt it," snorted Severus. "I've been alone most of my life - I don't have a void to fill, if that's what you think, and even if I did, certainly no child would fill it anyway."
"You would be surprised," said Dumbledore simply. Giving Severus a grandfatherly smile, he nodded towards the Gryffindor table. "Why don't you retrieve our guest and have her sit with us at the High Table - the other professors have been anxious to meet her."
"Hm." Still, Severus went towards the tables, calling out her full name. Abby looked to him with a bright smile and left her friends with a quick goodbye.
"Mr. Sev'rus!" Racing over to him, Abby was grinning at him from underneath a too large witch's hat, clutching at the sides so it wouldn't fall over her face. "Look what I got from Robin! It came out of a really tiny firecracker! Magic can do anything, huh?"
"I suppose," said Severus with a nod. Just because he wasn't sure if he wanted to take care of the child or not, it didn't mean he wasn't going to be unkind to her. Or at least he would try and be kind. "Now come along - the Headmaster wants you to join the him and the other professors at the High Table."
"M'kay." Abby grabbed at his robes again, holding the hat with one hand. "Are they gonna be nice?" she asked in a whisper as Severus lead her up.
"Undoubtedly," said Severus dryly. They would problem be perky. He shuddered inside.
"Welcome," said Dumbledore cheerfully to the pair as they joined them. "Severus, we've changed things around a bit. Just for now," he chuckled when Severus glared at him. "You'll sit here in between our ward and Minerva, taking Poppy's spot since she's gone for the day. I hope you don't mind?"
"Not at all," said Severus dryly.
"And how are you doing, Abby?" Dumbledore asked. "Enjoying the festivities?
Abby nodded shyly, her witch hat flopping as she suddenly got very quiet while she glanced around the table. Severus guessed it was because she wasn't use to being around so many new people.
"Everyone, may I introduce you to our newest resident, Miss Abagail," said Dumbledore to the rest of the table. "Or as she likes to be called, Abby. She'll being stay with us until further notice. Miss Abby, I don't believe you were ever introduced properly to Professor McGonagall. She's the Head of Gryffindor House."
"Nice to see you again, Abby," said McGonagall with a gentle smile, while Abby nodded and muttered hello.
"Then we have Professor Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff, and Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw." Both the professor smiled and nodded towards her. "And then we have Professor Trelawney, who teaches Divination, and Hagrid, our groundskeeper."
"Good ta see ya up and 'bout," said Hagrid kindly. "Was worried 'bout ya."
But in response, Abby shrank back, almost falling off her chair. Following her gaze, Severus was surprised to see Trelawney staring at her intently, her already large eyes enormous behind her glasses. He sharpened his gaze, and when she finally noticed his glare, she turned back to her meal, muttering under her breathe.
Only then did Abby relax, and finally forced out, "Nice to meet you all."
"Well, with introductions made, let's eat!" said Dumbledore cheerfully.
"Its a lot of food," whispered Abby to Severus, her eyes roaming over the many different dishes. In answer, Severus started to spoon food onto her plate - a small slice of turkey, a little mound mashed potatoes and gravy, a spoon full of buttered corn, and a biscuit. He could feel the gazes of the other professors, but ignored them.
"I expect you to eat at least half of that," Severus said firmly. "And a nutrition potion when you're done."
"Yes, Mr. Sev'rus!" said the girl before picking up her fork and stabbing her turkey with determination.
"That was very nice of you, Severus," said McGonagall at his other side, a sweet and knowing smile on her face that made Severus want to grimace. "I think the girl - I'm sorry, Abby, has been a good influence on you." Before he could snap out something it return, she went on, "Why don't you bring her by my room later on? I think Abby needs a little fixing up."
~o0o~
Severus spent the rest of his Christmas at the Malfoys after ordering Queenie to watch over the child - Abby, as she wanted to be called. He did not do well with the holidays, not with all the cheer and glee that everyone seemed to give off, but he did have a tradition of spending Christmas supper with them. It was one of the few times he got out anyway, for he was not a sociable creature after all, preferring to work then make merry.
So into talking with the older Malfoy's and spending time with his godchild though, Severus didn't even bother checking the time till he gave a suddenly yawn. When he realized that it was past midnight, he bid farewell and returned to Hogwarts by Apparition, the walk back to the castle enjoyable for once since it stopped snowing.
Hanging up his heavier cloak, Severus decided that his best check on his temporary ward before going to sleep himself. After all, he didn't need Pomfrey yelling at him for not making sure she went to sleep.
He didn't have to go far. Sleeping in the same chair they had sat in earlier was Abby, curled into a tight ball to keep herself warm since she had no blanket, no fire going, and was in her nightgown with no socks. Her newly cut hair, thanks to McGonagall, surrounded her head like a dark halo.
"Queenie," Severus called out, and with a pop, his house-elf arrived. "Why didn't you put Abagail in bed? Its past midnight."
"Queenie did, Master Severus," said Queenie, looking quite fearful because she might have did something wrong. "Queenie put Miss Abby in bed at eight, sir, before going back to the kitchens, sir!"
Narrowing his eyes, Severus marched over to the girl and shook her shoulder. "Wake up," he snapped.
Curling up tighter for a moment, Abby lifted her head and blinked sleepily. "Wha?" Rubbing her eyes, she yawned. "Hi, Mr. Sev'rus," she said sleepily.
"What are you doing out of bed?" asked Severus. "Its pasted midnight."
"Was waitin' for you," Abby mumbled, as she reached out with a hand, feeling around for something. Her head was falling forward again when she finally held up a piece of paper that was on the edge of the chair. "Wanted to say thank - yawn - you..." Closing her eyes, the child was asleep again in less then a few seconds, her hand dropping to the cushion and the paper floating to the ground. Glancing down as it landed at his feet, Severus picked it up.
It was a drawing, much like the drawings Abby had given the professors after dinner for their presents. But unlike the others, which held a crude drawing of her stuffed dragon holding whatever they gave her, this one was of him, his robes bellowing extravagantly behind him, with Abby's arms wrapped around him in a hug. Thank you was written across the top, probably with the help of Queenie since he doubted that she could spell, and her name was right below it as a signature.
"Miss Abby wanted to give it to Master Severus before going to bed," said Queenie with a nod, her ears flopping. "But Queenie knows how later yous stay at yours friends, sir, so Queenie told Miss Abby to give it to Master Severus in the morning."
"Mm. Thank you, Queenie, you can go back to the kitchen now." As his house-elf left with a pop, Severus studied the picture. He couldn't remember the last time he got a homemade gift from someone besides the other professors. Sure, some of his students gave him gifts - he had received a few after dinner - but they were all bought, and he wouldn't doubt that some of them were attempts of keeping him on their good side. He almost snorted at that - he didn't have a good side.
Placing the picture on the table after giving it another glance, Severus picked up the girl, who snuggled closer to him for warmth, shivering. Why did she continue to try and get close to him? He didn't want anyone that close to him. Not again. He didn't want her. He didn't want Dumbledore. He didn't anybody.
And yet... every time Abby smiled at him, an innocent smile that should never be directed at him, Severus could feel something. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he liked it sometimes, and other times he hated it with a passion. No. He couldn't let this girl stay with him. She deserved to stay with happier people. People that would care for her and make sure she got everything she needed, that would love her like he couldn't.
A few minutes later, after placing Abby in bed, Severus poured himself a finger of Firewhiskey and gulped it down. He was never the kind of person to care for a child like it was his own. He told Lily that. He told Dumbledore that. He told himself that. Taking care of the students of Slytherin, abused or not, was good enough.
Wasn't it?
Shaking his head, Severus poured himself another finger. Of course it was. He didn't need a wife. He didn't need children. He didn't need a family. He was a spy, a potions master, a teacher. All of those things kept him busy. He didn't need to add anything else to that list. Besides, the only person he ever wanted as a wife married another, had children and made her own family.
Finishing the drink in hand, Severus made his way to bed. And that night he had dreams of children dancing around him, girls with her red hair and green eyes, and boys with his black hair and black eyes. The only thing that made him feel better the next morning was the thought of a detention with the two Weasleys.