Thanks again to all those who reviewed. You're all amazing! For all of you who waited patiently for this chapter: my apologies. Hopefully the exceptional long chapter makes up for it a bit. I seriously overdid it this time...
Chapter 20: Comprehension Closed The Door
When Merlin woke up he was thoroughly disorientated. For one thing, it was surprisingly later than he remembered it to be. A faint glow trickling in through the condensed window told him dawn had come, meaning he had even less time than he had before. And secondly, closely following his first depressing conclusion, was that he was lying on his own bed. A surprising development since he distinctly remembered being down in the vaults. Although his memory was kind of fuzzy on that issue which could mean a number of things. He groaned and blinked a couple of times hoping the light was just his mind playing tricks with him. It can't be dawn already.
Merlin hadn't moved yet as his body refused to cooperate. His limbs felt heavy, his head felt heavy. He groaned again and focused on driving that lethargic feeling away. What had happened?
Ah yes, that bloody crystal happened. Merlin swallowed harshly and shut his eyes, but now that the images were back they refused to go away. He sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes again. The crack in his ceiling looked fascinating this morning, even a bit bigger maybe. He tilted his head slightly as to change the angle, but in the end the crack proved to be as boring as ever.
His door was wide open and sound travelled in from the other room. Someone, Gaius presumably, was rummaging around and something was cooking. He tasted nothing funny in his mouth so he hadn't been giving a potion. At the moment though he wished he had drunken something mind altering. It didn't matter what the taste or the side effects were, he didn't care. As long as he didn't have to remember the screeching sound of that cart as it rolled by with its sickening cargo or Arthur shackled defeated and not quite sane in his dungeons.
A chill travelled down his spine. Yep, his dungeons and obviously he had executed Gwaine. Galahad may have told me it wasn't the future, but it's still a possibility. It's probably only a matter of time before I turn into something like Hréonhes...
For the hundredth time since the dragon's departure Merlin mentally lamented his predicament. He just wished Kilgharrah was here to help him, to guide him, to say what he needed to do.
Then suddenly it hit him. Taking quick shallows breaths Merlin clenched his sheets as the eye-widening comprehension sank in. He desperately struggled to calm down his quickening heartbeat as he buried his head deeper in the fluffy pillow trying to stay as quiet as possible. Only his heavy limbs barred him from jumping out of his bed this very instant. Wasn't it ironic? All that planning, reading, debating for... nothing.
Because Kilgharrah had said what he must do in his own irritating and confusing way.
He had to die.
"Is Merlin alright?" His musings were rather abruptly interrupted due to this question as his heart almost skipped a beat. Was that Arthur? Merlin frowned anxiously and sat up leaning on his elbows for support. Indeed it was. He pushed all thoughts of Kilgharrah out of the way and listened intently.
"Why the heck do you care?" Weird, for some reason Gwaine sounded angry. Why would he be angry at Arthur? Merlin strained his ears but he shouldn't have bothered, Gwaine's voice was steadily growing louder and louder.
"He didn't tell us what it was exactly, but guess what Arthur? He said your name!"
Oh no, that would explain everything. Time to intervene before my impetuous friend does something he'll regret. Merlin threw back the covers and hurried towards the doorway just when Gwaine really started to shout.
"...ASK HOW HE IS?"
"Gwaine!" Merlin ordered curtly. The knight rapidly lost most of his anger. He made some excuse, but Merlin waved it away. He wasn't even listening because suddenly he very aware of Arthur staring at him. He desperately pushed away the sudden need to gag or scream or cry and rambled evenly about the vaults as he hurried towards the door. He hoped he'd betrayed nothing of his inner turmoil as he quickly passed Arthur and practically fled the physician's chambers.
Gwaine and Galahad had followed him, which was unfortunate because he needed time alone to think of this sudden realization. He had to die. That was no small inconvenience, but was there another option? He couldn't even look his friend in the eye. Not after what he did to him, not after seeing him so vulnerable and lost...
In that dungeon Merlin had gotten a taste of what the free use of his magic would feel like, that thrilling feeling of power as it surged through his veins. The magic that shimmered right below the surface all the time enslaving him to do more, to be more. It was addicting and if he hadn't seen the disastrous results, he would have tried to defeat Hréonhes in a direct fight. Because he'll win. He knew that now. It would take more power than he'd ever used before, but he could do it. He was Emrys after all. Hadn't Galahad, Gaius and Kilgharrah repeatedly said he was the most powerful sorcerer ever?
He hadn't thought about himself in these terms before, but to be honest his former battles revolved more around protecting his secret than in overpowering his opponents as quickly as possible. Discretion trumped power. Now that restriction was thrown in the wind and frankly that frightened him. It was exactly what he tried to explain when Gwaine had asked him why he hadn't killed Morgana outright. Without boundaries he didn't trust himself to know where to stop once he started going down that path. And that was the crux of the matter.
He sighed and walked a bit faster so Galahad and Gwaine couldn't keep up. It had been quite enlightening to be confronted by his biggest fear.
If confronting Hréonhes meant that he was one step closer to becoming that monster, he had to find another way. He would not become that man who burned his friends at the stake and was amused by it. He would rather die. And that conclusion reinvigorated him immensely. His death would need to tie up the loose ends of course. Hréonhes was one of them, Annis was another. If he planned everything correctly he should be able to save Camelot and Arthur one last time, maybe even insure their continued safety.
Once Merlin made up his mind something clicked inside. As he rushed through the crowded hallways – more than half the city's population occupied the castle – he realized he was breathing more calmly and his hands weren't trembling anymore. Strange how composed even relaxed he felt now that he had accepted the inevitable.
Now I just have a whole day ahead of me to live without raising suspicion. Time to put on a show...
And should he be in danger of losing his resolve in the coming hours he only had to close his eyes to see Arthur's haunted face again. He wouldn't let it come to that. Never.
Tom was leaning against the battlements and absentmindedly picked his fingernails with his knife. Gerard sat on the narrow walkway beside Tom's feet. Wrapped tightly in his cloak, the smuggler breathed misty white clouds into the morning chill. Below them at the bottom of the Wall a small group of people had already gathered for additional instructions. He had listened to the lecture yesterday, but he hadn't been very impressed. Sure the knights knew what they were doing, however none of them knew what they were up against. And that carefully omitted fact had been noticed, sending most of the volunteers into a panic. It didn't help either that experienced knights such as Sir Leon looked very worried every time they passed by.
"When did Gwaine say he'll come for a drink?" Gerard asked to distract himself. He was bored and hadn't seen the knight after their brief talk in the courtyard.
"Yesterday, but you know he's busy helping Merlin." Tom replied offhandedly.
"Can't picture Gwaine's much of a help with magical stuff." Gerard chuckled until Tom kicked his leg, "Oi! What was that for?" He exclaimed indignantly.
"He asked us to keep it a secret." Tom shrugged pretending nothing had happened. He tucked his knife away into his right booth and turned around to view the surrounding countryside. The enemy was estimated to be here by nightfall. Already the forests near the city looked more eerie than the day before. A flock of birds flew up and ominously disappeared out of sight.
Gerard was still rubbing his newest bruise and huffed, "There's no one around, Tom. Do I need to remind you that I'm the brains in this partnership and-"
"Is that the king riding there?" Tom suddenly interrupted narrowing his eyes as if he didn't truly comprehend what he was seeing.
"What? Where?" Gerard asked jumping up and looked in the direction Tom pointed to. Both of them followed the rider's fast progress as he urged his white stallion forwards red cloak billowing behind him. Even with the growing distance between the rider and the gate it was unmistakably the king.
"I hope someone briefed him that a huge army is heading towards Camelot." Gerard finally managed to utter. The other man shook his head in disbelief.
"Now I get why Gwaine feels so at home here." Tom said as they watched how another knight departed from the gate at full gallop. "They're all bloody mad." He continued completely failing to keep the awe out of his voice.
Leon cursed encouraging his horse to go even faster. This was not a good way to start the day he reflected. Actually the fact that day and night sort of blended together lately wasn't encouraging either. He had managed to catch a few hours of sleep during the night, but it was by no means enough to repel the tiredness that currently ached his whole body. Percival, Arthur and himself had taken turns during the night making rounds on the Wall. After four hours he had left for bed grateful that Percival took over. He didn't even remember falling asleep. During his shift he had caught a handful of guards dozing off. They were firmly reprimanded but his worry hadn't been elevated. The anticipated siege hadn't even started yet. It seemed that the constant vigilance and preparedness of the last couple of days were already challenging their strength as well as his own.
It didn't help that he'd been wary since the moment they had left for Nortcliff now so many days ago. It didn't help that the persons he trusted the most were as tired and tense as him. Hell, he was even relaxed in comparison to Arthur or Merlin.
It didn't help that the familiarity of the situation never diminished its effects at all. It rather went hand in hand, the boredom and anticipation that characterised the calm before the storm versus the swiftness and thrill of combat. It was a bad habit to always wish for the other.
It didn't help that his involuntary wish was granted so early in the morning. It certainly didn't help that the first thing he saw arriving at the gates was Arthur's retreating back as he rode out of the city. Alone, because Merlin wasn't with him these days.
And it certainly wasn't good for his peace of mind that he just lost sight of his sovereign when the path started to curve. Leon cursed again and tapped his heels forcefully against his horse's flanks hoping to go even faster.
Finally the road straightened and the knight sighed in relief. Arthur had paused in the middle of the path and seemed to be lost in thought. Leon slowed down stopping right next to his king. He cleared his throat.
"Arthur, it isn't safe out here." He mildly berated, "There could be scouts in these woods already."
"I wasn't heading towards Caerleon." Arthur countered.
"Still-" Leon was going to say more, but Arthur interrupted him. "I wasn't going far. I just needed to breathe a bit." Arthur sighed and rubbed his face. He turned to his left noticing that his second in command looked rather worried. Great, now he felt even worse.
"Leon, am I a bad person?"
The knight frowned, "What are you talking about?"
"The whole issue with Merlin." Arthur clarified heaving a sigh, "I wanted to talk with him about this whole thing, but he ignored me."
Leon was silent for a while but that didn't bother Arthur. What was bothering him was the way Merlin ran out of the room. For some reason his servant was ignoring him and keeping his magic a secret couldn't be the cause anymore. So what was it then? Was Merlin really afraid of him? Somehow he found that hard to believe – even though Gwaine had made his ears ring with accusations – because it was inconsistent with Merlin's previous behaviour. Their latest encounters could be called confrontational at best, which was not the way someone acted when they fear for their lives. Or am I just biased and is Merlin really afraid I'll execute him?
"I think you are dealing with it as best as a king could, but..." Leon began hesitantly bending the reins with his gloved hands out of habit.
"Yes, but?" Arthur insisted impatiently now, motioning Leon should continue with a wave of his hand. He needed straight answers this early in the morning.
"As a friend, you could do better." The knight concluded and slowly started to swerve his horse around, "We should return to Camelot." Leon proposed. Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded his agreement.
"Have you been talking to Guinevere behind my back?" He asked curiously turning his horse around as well. Leon shook his head and smiled, "Not alone."
Some nearby bushes rustled all of a sudden. The horses neighed skidding back a few paces on the muddy path. Instantly both men grew vigilant as the woods' former soothing atmosphere turned cold.
"What was that?" Leon asked out loud and followed Arthur's lead as he unsheathed his sword as well.
The horses' ears were lying flat against their heads. "Easy, easy." Arthur whispered trying to calm his stallion and tightened the reins to prevent the horse from bolting away. Suddenly a man stumbled out of the ferns. He looked up at them hazy and confused squinting one swollen eye. His red cloak was ripped and shredded, the embroidered dragon nearly beheaded and his mail was speckled with blood. His sword was broken in half, the blade ending one feet from the hilt.
"Sire..." The man croaked and collapsed forwards. Arthur had already jumped off his horse and ran towards the fallen figure. Leon followed directly behind him and quickly scouted the surrounding forest with rightful suspicion. The wind had picked up out of nowhere making the previous still forest a whirlwind of motion. Fallen leaves flew up and were blown across the path.
"Arthur, we need to leave now." He urged his kneeling king.
"It's Sir Eldir." Arthur had turned the man around and tried to wipe the blood of his face, "Come on wake up, dear man." His eyes remained stubbornly closed, but the battered knight groaned painfully.
"Right, we're ready to leave. Leon, steady my horse and help me get Eldir up there." Between the both of them Arthur quickly managed to secure his unconscious knight in front of him.
"Any idea what happened?" Leon asked as he swung himself back into the saddle. The king held the wounded knight upright with one hand twisting the reins around his right hand. Arthur shook his head. "I sent him to patrol our border with Bayard. Him and seven others."
A moment later both riders thundered across the pathway back towards the safety of the walls.
The vaults weren't that bad. Merlin winced, okay they were. Almost a quarter of the books seemed to be destroyed and the smell of smoke still lingered. With a shallow wave of his hand he started to ventilate the rooms.
He had a vague outline of a plan which meant he needed Gwaine and Galahad distracted with something else. So he needed another feasible plan that should work at first sight. He didn't want anyone else to know his real plan. Because he really didn't want to fight them every step of the way, which they would without a doubt. Now he just needed to figure out how the hell his vague plan about getting himself killed would defeat Hréonhes.
Footsteps resounded on the stairs and seconds later Gwaine burst through the door.
"Merlin, you're okay?" The knight rambled, "You sort of ran all the way here. Didn't you hear me yell to slow down?"
"Splendid, I feel splendid." He replied,"Had a good night sleep and you're a knight, Gwaine." Merlin looked over his shoulder and smirked, "You should be able to keep up with me."
"He's right." Galahad wheezed and leaned against the doorframe. "We should be able to keep up."
"And you shouldn't overstrain yourself, Galahad." Merlin berated him worriedly and guided the still panting druid towards a chair on which he sank down gratefully. "That smoke wasn't healthy. Do you need something to drink?"
"I'm fine."
"Sure." Merlin said his voiced laced with irony as he leaned against the blackened table. And so am I.
"Just don't exert yourself." He sighed when Galahad glared at him. Merlin crossed his arms and looked at his two companions, "Okay, so let's prioritize." He started pacing, "Hréonhes will arrive tonight with his army. We have to find a way to stop the army and stop him."
"Will killing him not stop the army?" Gwaine asked.
"If a sorcerer uses himself to uphold the curse then yes it would." Merlin answered and sighed, "Unfortunately he's using Queen Annis."
"You're not going to kill her, are you?" Galahad blurted out suddenly as if he just realised where this could lead to. Merlin stopped and paused his eyes starring ahead to some faraway distance. He didn't respond immediately and this unsettled Galahad quite a bit.
"Merlin?" The druid asked cautiously.
"No, of course not." Merlin denied vehemently, "You just... reminded me of something. Where was I?" Merlin paused again and drummed his fingers against his cheek. He started pacing again.
"Yes, stopping the army. Destroying them is out of the question. So I'll have to lift the curse somehow. Then stopping Hréonhes. He may be too strong to kill but maybe we could bar him entrance to the city, so that we've more time to figure out what to do."
"Why do you say he's too strong to kill?" Gwaine didn't understand what the problem was.
"I'm not sure. He may be bluffing, but he mentioned reinstating alliances with Magic." Merlin said uncertain. The last words sounded more like a question.
"Oh." Galahad said and Merlin swirled around focusing his attention back on the druid.
"That's all you have to say?"
"I mean, that will be a problem." Galahad admitted and leaned forwards so he was resting with his elbows on his knees. He glanced at his feet for a second before combing his hands through his hair. The knight looked back up and sighed. Merlin, who already knew he wasn't going to like this, made an impatient noise.
"Just spit it out."
Galahad stared at him thoughtfully and sighed again. "Merlin, do you know that while the druids are very knowledgeable about the way Magic works, they're not really known for great feats of magic? We purposefully decline Magic's offering for greater power because it doesn't follow the way we chose to live. Those who do accept or even train for that offering become High Priestesses or Priests. When that happens Magic changes them. They don't become sick like the rest of us, they heal faster when wounded." The knight explained thoroughly before getting to the heart of the matter. "If Hréonhes still has Magic's protecting, he'll be difficult to kill."
"So maybe not kill, but trap?" Merlin mused quietly as he continued to pace around. "Fine, I have some ideas that might work," Merlin lied without blinking. It was mostly true as he knew the outcome. "But any suggestions on how we barricade the army's entry to the city?"
"Can't you use magic to strengthen the Wall?" Gwaine raised looking at both of them in wonder why none of them had thought about that earlier.
"There's a blessing my father uses to protect our sacred places." Galahad acquiesced, "It's more ceremonial than real protection, but if you request it than Magic will surely answer."
"That right there is something I don't understand." The warlock pointed at the druid and slowed down, "You talk about Magic as if it was alive. You always talk about it in that way."
"I gave you that book to read, didn't I?" Galahad retorted as if it was self-explanatory.
"Never mind, what do we need to try that?" Merlin waved his hand irritated with the vague reply.
"I'll gather the ingredients. They need to be burned because it's the act of sacrifice that seals the protection. That's the reason why so many of the Old Religion's most powerful ceremonies use animal or your own blood. You have to offer something to get something else in return." He added that last part for Gwaine's sake, since Merlin was already nodding his understanding.
"Power of Life and Death."
"Exactly, even if that's the most extreme example. Merlin, I'll make a druid out of you yet." Galahad stated proudly.
Merlin grinned, "Well, you get the ingredients and we'll hit the books once more."
After Galahad left Merlin waited for a while making sure his friend was busy. He then sighed loudly. "Gwaine, I forgot that book at Gaius'. I'll be right back." He said walking towards the door.
"Shall I go-" Gwaine offered and put down the glimmering trident which had been previously located in the Perilous Lands.
"No, no, no," Merlin raised his hands and interrupted the knight. "You're doing great Gwaine," He gave him a thumbs up and motioned his friend to stay put, "I might need that later."
Merlin carefully peeked his head in. "Gaius?"
There was no answer and he pushed the door further open. The room appeared empty however there was no clear sign as to when the physician had left or more importantly when he'll be back. Merlin closed the door and debated whether or not to push the latch aside. He cursed, valuable seconds were being lost and that wasn't part of the plan. He estimated on the way back up that he had no more than eight hours to find a solution and put 'the plan' to effect. He left the door unlocked and looked around the room again.
Now where is that bottle?
He rummaged through the shelves and cupboards. After all these years he still hadn't figured out what Gaius' system was. It wasn't alphabetical, nor did it follow any other sorting method he could think of. Poisons stood next to sleeping draughts, the ingredients for a ointment against rashes next to sealed containers which held sulphur, antimony or mercury.
Somehow the chaos was even worse than he remembered it to be. Gaius must have rearranged and restocked because of the new infirmary, Merlin thought as he stood on the tips of his toes to search the upper shelves.
There! The familiar looking bottle was sitting innocently amongst others, blending in perfectly except for the skull and snake label. Merlin took it and weighed the small bottle in his hand. Somehow it felt heavier than it should and he knew that it was just his imagination or his conscience playing tricks. It seemed so long ago...
Loud voices and hurried footsteps interrupted his reminiscing. The warlock panicked when he recognized who was coming. He didn't want to explain what he was doing here. He certainly didn't want to be in Arthur's presence again so soon. Seeing as he was without options he ran as quietly as he could to his room and carefully closed the door only leaving a tiny gap open. He pressed himself against the wall and leaned a bit to the side so he could hear when they would leave.
A moment later Gaius bustled in followed by Arthur, Leon and two others whose voices Merlin didn't recognize.
"Lay him down, slowly." Gaius directed them. Merlin heard how someone was laid down on the cot followed by the familiar tinkling of glass vials. "Strip him of his mail, I can't work otherwise." The physician grumbled and worked in silence while Leon quietly dismissed the other two. Someone was pacing and Merlin didn't need to see into the room to know it was Arthur.
"Can you save him?" The king asked and Merlin could hear him fretting loud and clear. Gaius ignored the question however.
"Hand me that cloth, will you? And those bandages. Leon, take that boiling water of the fire and pour it in that bowl."
"Shall I get Merlin or someone else?" Leon asked as he did what he was told.
"Only if you feel you can't follow simple directions." Gaius snapped. Merlin frowned. What was going on? He'd never seen Gaius acts this way. It seemed that he wasn't the only one thinking this as Arthur and Leon were silent again. A few minutes passed until Gaius finally spoke up.
"He'll live." He sighed in relief, "However I've no idea how that's possible. By all accounts Sir Eldir should be death from blood loss."
Sir Eldir? Merlin racked his brain to deduce what could have happened. Didn't Arthur sent him on patrol a few days ago?
"My apologies, Sire, Sir Leon. I've absolutely no idea why I was snappy just now."
"No worries Gaius, have you managed to talk to Merlin yet?" Arthur answered.
The physician sighed again which made Merlin feel guilty. "No, Sire. It seems however that whenever he's feeling out of sorts, the rest of us follow." Gaius chuckled weakly.
"Probably because it signals a magical threat." Leon agreed, "I can't believe we missed that in the past. I mean he was with us all the time and..." The knight trailed off. The warlock didn't see it was Arthur's glare that forced Leon to stop. Instead Merlin was trying to figure out why Arthur remained silent while Leon and Gaius now conversed some more about him. This made Merlin quite uncomfortable and he was grateful when the king spoke at last, "Any idea when he'll wake up?" The conversation stilled immediately.
"If he does, it's nothing sort of a miracle. Arthur, he's wounded very badly."
"He was awake, he recognized who I was."
"Couldn't Merlin heal him?" He heard Leon ask.
"I'll ask after he defeated Hréonhes, healing is very taxing magic and Merlin will need all the strength he has at his disposal before this nightmare ends." Merlin almost snorted at Gaius' reply, but his reaction lacked any traces of humour.
"You do think he can do it?" Arthur asked a bit unsure.
"Saving you, saving all of us?" Gaius asked in return and Merlin summarized that Arthur nodded because Gaius went on, "He was born to do all that. To be the silent hero, to be your protector and your confidant. He would sooner die than failing you."
Those earnest truthful words did something to him. Merlin leaned back against the wall and stared at the ceiling not really seeing it. He let out a shuddered breath as he tried to ease the clenching feeling in his chest. Gaius knows me to well. He tried to focus again on the conversation in the other room.
"...you do? Sir Eldir can't tell you what happened." Gaius said as Merlin cursed quietly for missing something.
"I'll talk to the only one who can tell me." Arthur said and the soft click of the door told Merlin the king left presumably taking Leon with him. Gaius was mumbling reassuring things to the unconscious knight and rummaging around his worktables. Merlin knew the physician believed that a calming voice was beneficial for the healing process and he couldn't agree more. Gaius had this way with words that soothed almost all his fears in the past. He smiled softly.
Then he remembered that Gaius was still in the other room and from the sound of it wasn't planning to leave any time soon. He couldn't really walk out right now unless he wanted to admit he was hiding and eavesdropping. He couldn't decided which one of those actions sounded worst. On the other hand he couldn't stay here. He had things to do! Instead he was stuck here, unless...
Merlin pushed himself of the wall and slowly oh so slowly closed the door completely. He hoped he could do this silently. He didn't need to cast spells out loud all the time. He just needed the right intent and power.
As he closed his eyes he felt how the now familiar magic surged within him. Wind picked up again, but it was quieter and more controlled than the last few times. He took a tentative step forwards and disappeared.
Arthur was angry as he stalked towards the dungeons. Casualties were a fact of life, he knew that, but he absolutely hated the fact that he misjudged the situation so completely. He had been so focused on the whole Morgana and Emrys thing that he hadn't been careful enough. And now seven of his men were missing, probably dead if the condition of Sir Eldir was anything to go by.
As he rushed down the stairs he noticed to his horror that he had blood on his mail. The battle hadn't even started yet! He sent Leon back to the gates. The final preparation for the battle were well on their way, which was fortunate because Hréonhes was coming. He felt it. Galahad would probably be in agony if he let his blocks down now.
He'll go to the Wall himself as soon as he could, but first he needed to talk to a few people. He was on his way to the first, but more importantly he needed to talk to Merlin. Everybody was right, he needed to do something about the ... was it distrust, anger, disappointment... between them. And if Merlin was being difficult, he'll try harder to resolve whatever it was that needed to be resolved, because that was the only thing he wanted to do.
The dungeons were always the coldest place in the castle. When he was younger Arthur hated coming down here. Actually he still does, but nobody knew that. It wasn't a rational reaction, he knew that, but the damp and dark cells made him uneasy as if they were part of a memory he'd forgotten.
Most men down here deserved to be locked up, but not all of them. He knew that now as he recalled his father's Purge. One time when he was five or so, his father gleefully led him around the dungeons. Uther showed him what the duties of a king were, what his duties would be when Arthur grew older and that entailed ugly but necessary duties to insure the security of the kingdom. Magic had to be eradicated, but with the exception of tales and stories Arthur hadn't encountered magic or sorcerers himself. That was until he was introduced to the dungeons and it's many prisoners. After that day he started attending the executions as well.
For some reasons he didn't have nightmares about those violent deaths. He did however had nightmares about the darkness and the cold, about being chained to the very wall he was currently looking at.
Weylan was sitting on the ground right in front of him and looked up surprised. Arthur leaned forwards, his forearms sticking through the bars resting on the horizontal grill.
"What did you tell Bayard?" Arthur said coming straight to the point. Weylan stood up and took a few step forwards until the chain shackled on his left ankle stopped his progression.
"I don't understand, Your Majesty." The servant said confused raising his eyebrows to punctuate this emotion. This was immediately followed by the slight lowering of his head to signal his submissive deference. In other words Weylan perfectly acted the part of the naive and wrongly accused innocent about to plead his case. Arthur wasn't fooled, but still noted it was rather convincing.
"Quit the act, Weylan," Arthur warned, "I know who you call king and it isn't me." Weylan didn't react at all so Arthur tiredly added, "I've known for more than five months now."
"Why didn't you..." The servant's posture froze and real confusion graced his face.
"Because I was feeding you information." The king explained impatiently, "Now, what did you tell him?"
Weylan walked to the barred window ignoring the question for the second time. He dismissed all pretences when he shook his head and chuckled weakly. "No offers of pardon, no futile attempts to bargain?" The spy mocked humourlessly as he turned back around to face Arthur and leaned seemingly uncaring against the dungeon wall.
"You knew the risks when you started spying. The laws are perfectly clear on matters of treason." Arthur said pausing for a second before continuing, "But it doesn't need to be public. Your family doesn't have to suffer the consequences of your treachery."
Weylan wringed his hands and scuffed his shoes. Coming to a decision the servant turned spy stepped forwards again. "I told him a lot of things." He admitted.
"The last two weeks will suffice."
"He asked me if Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine travelled to Nortcliff. I answered negatively. I send him two missives about the discord at the Round Table with further information about the preparations for a siege, about your apparent knowledge of Bayard's fortifications at the border and about the patrols you send to check them. I never received a reply."
"You know this will lead to war?"
"I do." He simply said giving no further justification.
"What else?"
"My last letter was about Queen Annis's arrival, Linwood contributed as well."
"What can you tell me about Linwood." Arthur interrogated him further, but Weylan didn't need much encouragement on that subject.
"He's conceited, manipulative, far more influential than I could ever be and far more dangerous." He started to rant, "The bastard doesn't need money or promises. He does what he does purely for the fun of it. No one depends on him and because he's a lord he thought he could just barge in here and take my place. I sincerely hope you'll catch him, but I doubt it." Arthur stored that information away.
"Anything else I should know of?"
"I wrote about your servant..."
"Merlin? Why? What did you say about him?"
"It wasn't exactly a secret, just that he's one of your weaknesses. You lean on him for everything! It's not natural and King Bayard agrees. So when the king makes his move..." Here Weylan hesitated, but one angry glare later and he reluctantly went on. "I suggested that he should be removed. Permanently." The spy finished vaguely, but Arthur understood the meaning loud and clear.
He nodded and walked away without saying another word. Weylan sighed in relief. He acted too soon though. Not even a minute later the King of Camelot was standing before him no longer veiling his tangible anger.
Arthur tossed in a rope. "If you're still breathing tomorrow morning, I'll order you to be dragged to the courtyard in front of everyone. Your choice." He stated grimly and left.
Weylan just nodded as he picked up the coarse rope and entangled it between his hands. He too understood the meaning loud and clear.
The Way was longer than before. He had problems underway finding a unoccupied room in the castle and finally settled for the very top of a barely used staircase. When the tendrils of fog subsided this time the dizziness and disorientation were worse than the first time he travelled the Halfway. Galahad was probably right. It wasn't healthy, not just physically but mentally as well. As he hurried down the stairs he wondered how long a person could stay sane in that strange unworld.
Merlin absentmindedly passed a window, stopped and took a few steps back. That couldn't be right. The sun shouldn't be standing there. A moment ago in his room it... Oh no! Merlin started running this time, almost falling of the steps. He twisted his body evading the stone doorway as he propelled himself into the busy hallway. Dozens of families were standing, sitting and conversing. His sudden entry made all the adults pause and several had to jump out of his way as he flew by.
He didn't pay them any notice. If the sun's that high already, I've lost time somewhere...
"Hey! Watch it!" "Will you-" "Careful!" Some of them were shouting, but Merlin already passed them turning around the corner. He skilfully swerved through the citizens of Camelot many of whom had made themselves a spot against the corridors' walls.
He finally arrived at Caerleon's quarters and leaned against the guard standing in front of the door. The man frowned, but otherwise didn't move.
"I need..." Merlin panted and swallowed between breaths, "to talk... to the queen. Queen Annis I mean..." The guard was a little hesitant. So Merlin pushed on, "It's important and King Arthur gave me an order. You know how he is. I fail and he puts me in the stocks."
The guard smiled and Merlin patted him on the back when he was allowed to pass. Good man, otherwise I may have had to blast him aside along with the door. Patience was a luxury he couldn't afford anymore.
The queen was resting on her bed. She had dark circles under her eyes and Merlin saw that the curse had spread at an alarming rate. Black spidery lines already crossed her neck marking the lower side of her face. The room oozed death and damnation. At either side of her bed the young prince and her knight were each sitting on chairs.
Merlin bowed respectfully as the door was closed behind him. "Would it be possible to speak to you in private, Your Majesty?" He asked conveying his urgency and graveness effectively with one look as he caught her eye.
"I don't know-" "I want to hear-" The knight and Lothian immediately started to protest much to Annis' annoyance, "For Heaven's sake, out!"
Merlin waited until the two of them reluctantly left and stepped closer, "They're very protective." Annis sighed and smiled weakly completely agreeing with him.
"Did you find something?" She asked avidly and struggled to sit more upright. Merlin helped her and then pulled the chair closer solemnly sitting down beside her.
"Yes." He said placing the small bottle in her untouched hand. Annis turned it over, "What is this? A cure?"
"It's hemlock." She looked at him in confusion and Merlin hated himself for what he had to do. Actually he hated Hréonhes and his infernal mind games.
"Oh, it's like that." She said and stared for a moment at the bottle. Merlin wished he knew what she was thinking, praying he made the right decision this time. He waited and hoped.
"Can you tell me why?" Annis merely asked.
"Certainly, your hand is just the beginning." The warlock explained and tried to convey the horrors he discovered, "I've seen what the sorcerer who cursed you is doing. Hréonhes, that's his name, is coming here and with him comes the whole of Caerleon. He enslaved your people, all the men and women even the children. All of their emotion is gone. They're his perfect army, but he doesn't care for them. He would sacrifice every single of them on a whim. They're nothing more than meek little puppets on a string and you-"
"I'm the string." Annis summarized and clenched the bottle in anger. "So he's using their loyalty to me as a noose."
Merlin nodded, "Speaking of loyalty, I know why Linwood wasn't affected by the curse, but what about your other knight?" He asked a bit hesitant not liking the fact that he had to accuse someone of treachery.
"Sir Brickem is the most loyal man I know, he's family in a way. It can't-"
"Is he family?" Merlin interrupted her, because that would explain the exceptions. Both Lothian and Sir Brickem escaped the curse.
"He doesn't know." She answered after a brief silence.
"He does though." Merlin argued, "Otherwise his loyalty to you would be the same as the rest of your citizens, the loyalty to their sovereign."
"I still don't understand." She said diverting their conversation and Merlin let her, "Why poison? I'm already dying."
"He won't let you die. He needs you as a vessel. In a few days you'll be nothing more than a breathing idea." He said bluntly and paused all of a sudden uncomfortable. Annis noticed and pleaded him to go on.
"The hemlock is for me." Merlin admitted with a sigh, "Years ago I made a decision, one I repeatedly questioned since then. Hréonhes guessed that insecurity. He likes to play games, see our reactions, test our resolve. I'm doing things differently though."
"How so?"
"I'm giving you a choice." Merlin confessed and then cleared his throat, "Tonight, you and me, we have a chance to defeat him."
She nodded her understanding. "How long do I have?"
"Sometime after the attack started you'll hear shouts about a sudden inexplicable retreat. Take it then." Merlin instructed as he stood up. He bowed. "With your bravery on our side he cannot win."
Annis stared back at the bottle and Merlin, feeling himself dismissed, walked towards the door.
"Merlin." He stopped surprised when she used his name for the first time. He turned back around waiting. She continued to stare at him thoughtfully as if she was gazing into his very soul. Behind his stoical facade Merlin suddenly fidgeted nervously.
"I see." She finally said, "You're going to do something equally brave." It wasn't a question, so he didn't deem the answer was required. Indeed it seemed that they had something in common in the end.
"Does Arthur know?" Merlin shook his head not trusting his voice at the moment. Queen Annis kept staring however.
"It's complicated." He relented at last.
"To be given the chance to say goodbye is not a complication, it's a blessing." She said but sighed when Merlin didn't react to this, "As you wish, can you send Lothian and Brickem back in?"
Toughen up, you were born with magic for a reason. You've been reading books on magic for the past days. Think! Merlin stalked the hallways upset. He lost two hours. Two!
He cursed loudly. A mother covered her child's ears and Merlin offered a silent apology as he turned into a less occupied corridor. Suddenly someone called out his name.
"Merlin! Where have you been?" Elyan appeared through one of the doors, "Gaius has been looking for you as has Arthur. I saw Gwaine running around the castle with a trident. Unless that's part of the plan, I guess he's looking for you as well."
The warlock rolled his eyes, "Wasn't part of the plan. Right, got to get going..." But Elyan stopped him from making a quick exit by grabbing his arm.
"Promise me you'll talk to him. He'll be distracted otherwise..." Elyan insisted not elaborating who he was talking about. Merlin knew and sighed, looking for a way to avoid this.
"I'll try, Elyan, but I can't promise that. Promises and oaths are very tricky things." He said with sudden inspiration, "The wording is important as is your intent. You asked me to promise to talk to Arthur, but don't specify about what. Also it's sort of a bargain. If I promise something and you don't promise something back I can ask something of you in the future. With me it's even more complicated since it always involves magic." Merlin said trying to recall the book he read about magical oaths, "This is hard to explain, it's-"
"Merlin, just try to find him, no promises needed." Elyan grinned and dashed away to his next errand glad he could escape this unexpected lesson in magic.
Merlin carefully secured his smile before bursting into the vaults, "Gaius! Gwaine! This is a surprise." He exclaimed jovially and mentally patted himself on the back for this star performance. He swaggered to a chair and jumped on it leaning back and propping his feet on the table.
"Where were you?" Gwaine asked a bit upset.
"Looking for you. We must have walked in circles around each other. Weird, right?" Merlin gave a brief explanation.
"Mmm, and that book?" Gwaine was still sceptical. Merlin was acting weird.
"Left it here already." Merlin stood up and walked towards one of the piles that littered the floor lifting the top book up, "See?"
During the conversation between the young men, Gaius remained silent and observant. He crossed his arms and waited until Merlin noticed his stern gaze. He didn't have to wait long. Not a moment later Merlin froze and sheepishly turned around to face his mentor.
"Hi Gaius, how's the infirmary doing?"
"Wonderful, I already moved my first patient in there." The old physician answered, "It was a knight."
"Oh dear, oh dear." Merlin sighed sadly and sat back on his chair with a book on his lap thinking Gaius was off his back. How wrong he was.
"Afraid of corridors now?"
Thud!
The book fell loudly onto the ground rumpling the pages.
"What?" Merlin asked confused as he scrambled to the ground to pick it back up.
"I heard you leaving your room. Using magic."
"Oh, sorry." He hung his head remorsefully, "I'm sort of ignoring Arthur." Gaius walked up to him and Merlin already cringed in anticipation of the lecture he was no doubt about to receive.
"Ouch, what was that for?" Merlin rubbed the spot on his head where Gaius swatted him with a rolled up parchment.
"For being an idiot and for making me walk all the way down here."
"I'm sorry." He repeated his apology again completely meaning it this time.
"You should be. He's just confused and worried about you." Gaius said sternly, but his eyes already softened. He sat down in the chair opposite Merlin and asked, "Did you have a flash of inspiration during your long walk?"
"I have a starting point at last." Merlin said enthusiastically grateful he got a chance to change the subject. He hated lying to Gaius, "You see, I kept picturing Hréonhes as the embodiment of evil. What if he isn't?"
"You're saying he's misunderstood?" Gaius frowned raising his eyebrows. Gwaine just gaped.
"No, not at all. He was responsible for one of the greatest wars in history of that I've no doubt. But he's still human just like the rest of us." Merlin clarified his former statement, "Instead of looking for a magical weakness, I should be looking for a human one. I mean he surprisingly enough has morals, however few they are left. He didn't kill Galahad because he's a druid. So it isn't such a stretch to assume he has fears as well."
"So what's the idea exactly?" Gwaine asked suddenly very interested and pulled up a chair sitting on it backwards. He crossed his arms leaning them on the back of the chair and eagerly motioned Merlin to continue.
"Turning his fears against him." Merlin divulged secretively and grinned in a very appropriate way. Gwaine snorted, but Gaius chose a more civil response. He asked the most important question of all.
"How would you know what he fears?"
"Gaius, you know me better than anyone. What do you think I saw in that crystal?" Merlin took a gamble here.
"You failing Arthur..." Gaius trailed off unsure, "No, you turning on Arthur, killing him..."
"Close," Merlin painfully admitted and quickly went on, "Now why would you guess that?"
The physician didn't answer immediately, instead both of them sat silently across each other, "I would say it's just a wild guess on my part, but it's not. The way you act sometimes, the things you do and more importantly the things you don't do..."
"Exactly, Hréonhes is unbelievably powerful yet he doesn't travel the Halfway. Why is that, I wondered."
"Because he's smart enough to listen to druids."
"Guess again, Gwaine."
"He's afraid." The knight now said.
"Exactly, but why does he fear it?" Merlin was thinking out loud now, "Maybe because it was his prison for centuries."
"That actually makes sense." Gaius acquiesced.
"It does, doesn't it. One, he doesn't use the Halfway. Two, he isn't death so where did he go when Dalbeth burned to the ground? And finally, Gwaine hold up that dragon statue." Merlin ordered, "See? 'Eternal prison', 'frozen in my fire', 'half measure'," The warlock summed up the key words, "I'm guessing a dragon dictated that passage. They're annoyingly vague."
"But you said it was only roads and paths?" Gwaine raised remembering that day very well, the day everything changed.
"I said it was all the roads and all the paths. Long forgotten trails to long forgotten places, to ruined castles and ancient cities only spoken of in tales and legends. They're all there and it's all connected. It's space and time and it's beautiful." Merlin concluded.
"And dangerous." The physician added darkly.
"We had that discussion already, Gaius." The warlock tiredly waved those worries away.
"Just promise me you'll be careful." Gaius heaved a sigh. Merlin just nodded. "But can you lock him back up? We already discussed this as well, my boy. You haven't got a dragon. It might take you ages to find the correct place."
"And it might not, Gaius. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I'll head for the nearest fire-breathing mountain." He joked light-heartedly.
"The Halfway is avoided for a reason Merlin, only desperate men venture there." The old physician cautioned him once more. He didn't like the casualness in Merlin's voice. It might make him a worrywart, he knew that, but he had cause to be that way. If he weren't grey already... Gaius shook his head. Merlin will always do what he thinks he must do.
"Well, he'll be here in less than five hours, I'm feeling pretty desperate right now."
"So tell me again," Gaius insisted, hoping Merlin's plan was doable, "How are you going to lock him up without a dragon?"
"I'll make one and he," Merlin said and in a sudden burst of inspiration solemnly placed the dragon statue on the table in front of them, "is going to help me."
"Even so, you still need to trap him on one place. It took a long siege last time."
"Gaius, where's your trust? That's why I'm back down here, reading more books. You two can help." He threw a book at Gwaine who caught it with a groan. "Pictures of dragons." Merlin directed the knight.
Gaius gave him a disapproving look, which had more to do with the way Merlin was handling valuable books of magic, than his stance on the feasibility of the plan.
It felt as if hours past, but it was just Merlin's nerves talking. He had a plan now, a solid plan. All the pieces fitted so perfectly together. He just needed to refine some things. But he couldn't do it with Gwaine and Gaius here. Somehow he needed to get them out of the vaults.
He sighed hating what he was about to do. He hated the lying. Because even for all the troubles it caused these last days with the Round Table finally knowing his secret, he was relieved the lies could finally stop. But they would never stop. And when they'll find out about his final lies they'll be angry, but at least they'll be save. Merlin smiled weakly and closed the book with a bang.
"Teeth! It's in the teeth!" He jumped out of his chair grinning like an idiot.
"Oh dear, he's finally lost it." Gaius shook his head sadly. Merlin ran to him, hugged him and then held the physician at arm's length.
"Gaius, the solution lies in the teeth! Get it? From the dragon's very breath?"
"If I say no, will you calm down and explain?" The older man asked a bit worried now. Merlin was once again making no sense.
"It just sums up the ingredients. I can conjure a fire so hot it'll put Kilgharrah to a shame. But that still won't be enough. So I have little Sparkles here." Merlin patted the miniature dragon. "He'll confuse Hréonhes, because dragons are supposed to be extinct. I might even get him to breath fire, but then again he isn't a real dragon and I'm guessing there a difference in the degree of difficulty between animating a dog and animating a dragon. So I need teeth to complete the trap and secure the lock. Again, dragons are extinct and I'm not sure if Kilgharrah left any teeth in the cave. Have to check that... Mmm, so the next best thing are daggers, lots of them and razor sharp like dragon's teeth. Questions?" He gasped for breath saying all of that in under half a minute.
"Sparkles?" Gwaine asked barely restraining his mirth. He tried though because Merlin shot him a very annoyed glare.
"Any useful questions?" The warlock repeated.
"You lost me at 'teeth'."
"Gwaine!" Merlin exclaimed exasperated.
"What? You were going rather fast." Gwaine defended himself with wide gestures. Gaius cleared his throat hoping to stop the argument before it started.
"I fear, my boy, you left me behind as well. Can you explain it more calmly this time?"
"It's rather complicated, Gaius, it all fits kind of in my head, but the explanation will not make sense to someone else. Ask Galahad, it's one of those druid things." Merlin bluffed.
"Okay, then just tell me what you need me to do." Gaius said and Merlin was happy the man was so accommodating.
"Gaius, I think you should go back to the infirmary." Merlin said seriously, "Gwaine's got my back here."
"If you insist, my boy." Gaius agreed. He was certainly needed there.
"I'll come there when I'm done here. Promise." Merlin assured him and Gaius smiled before he left.
"So it's just the two of us now." Gwaine stated, "Alright, what do you need me to do? I'm rubbish at this gibberish though."
"And I'm glad you are." Merlin joked, "That's why you'll be collecting the daggers."
"Okay, how many? Any preferences?" Merlin grimaced at this question, but hid it well. "Just the sharpest you can find."
"I can do that. You don't happen to know how many teeth a dragon has? Thought so." He said when Merlin gave him a strange look, "I'll just get you as many as I can carry."
Gwaine almost hopped out of the door when he stopped and looked back, "Wait, what will you do in the meantime?"
"Rewording what I want." Merlin immediately answered, "Just leave the daggers on the table if I'm not here."
"Merlin..." Somehow Gwaine was becoming suspicious. He didn't need that.
"I'm not going to do something stupid." Merlin quickly lied, "After you drop off the daggers you're going to help at the Wall. Arthur will need every capable swordsman at his side."
Gwaine grumbled something inaudible, but Merlin caught its meaning nevertheless. "One more thing before you go. Stop tormenting Arthur."
"But in your vision he-"
"You assume that my biggest fear is Arthur turning against me, but you're wrong. That's not what I saw."
"But then what-"
"Gaius was right, Gwaine." Merlin confessed again, "I fear for Arthur. So protect him for me, will you?" He pleaded. The knight nodded and smiled reassuringly.
Once again the vaults were quiet, but Merlin treasured that silence. He quickly got the books he needed and pushed the dragon aside. Really, animating a dragon... He shook his head. A empty parchment took its place and the warlock closed his eyes, focusing on what he wanted and translating that in words of power and intent.
Now the real work began.
"Merlin!" The warlock groaned loudly as he hit his head against the table above him. He got up quickly and subtly hid what he had been looking for underneath an upturned book.
"Sorry," Galahad said apologetically and flustered never noticing the crystal Merlin concealed from view, "These are the bundles. Can you bless them?" Galahad proudly laid each of them on the table. There were twelve in total and at first glance Merlin recognized a few herbs like juniper and foxglove . All of them were woven together in an intricate manner and bounded with fine gold thread.
"Brilliant, isn't it? Gwen gave it to me and Lauren helped me weave them together. Look's beautiful, right? She said she was busy, but because I asked her nicely she would do me this one favour." The young knight rambled without noticing. Merlin refrained from rolling his eyes and wondered when Galahad would figure it out. It must be the uniform because druids aren't usually that dim-witted. Then he remembered he wouldn't be here to see it.
"What do I need to do?" He asked seriously and lifted the first bundle.
"Intent, Emrys." Galahad teased curious what the warlock would do. Merlin grumbled, "Fine" and then he closed his eyes. The dried flowers and the freshly cut twines felt alive in his hands. The thread was cold, but warmed up with his touch. "Do I smell milk?" He asked suddenly distracted.
"Concentrate," The druid advised him , "but don't at the same time."
An instant later the vault was again filled with magic. Galahad smiled when he noticed how Merlin's frowned face evened out and was replaced by a serene expression. The flowers in his hands regained their colour and the green leaves vibrated with live. The druid knew that if he would try to 'feel' the warlock's magic right now it would feel like music.
"You can open your eyes now." He said grinning when Merlin remained blissfully unaware of everything around him.
"Wow, that was... wow." Merlin had no words for it.
"Simple magic of the earth." Galahad explained, but Merlin didn't need that explanation. He had felt it himself. The Magic called to him and he answered. It was natural, good and wholesome and completely filled with his intent: protection.
"I sometimes forget it can be that way." The warlock admitted sadly. He rarely used magic to create beauty. A single red rose came to mind however and he sighed longingly.
"Any copper bowls down here?" Galahad asked unknowingly bursting his bubble.
"There some in the back, I think." Merlin answered. "I'll doubt there will be twelve though." He called after Galahad's retreating back. A few minutes later he came back with seven bowls.
"Never mind, I'll scavenge the rest of the castle next." The druid assured him and seemed to be looking forward to the task.
"So what will you do with them afterwards?" Merlin admitted he was curious. He hadn't done a druidic ritual before.
"Distribute them at each watchtower and gate. They might not even work, but I think that while they burn the city's safe. What you did was quite impressive."
"How long?"
"Half an hour?" Galahad answered unsure, "It depends."
"That's better than nothing. Right, you do that and then stay there. I'm certain Arthur could use another fine swordsman."
"But don't you need my help here?" The knight asked in surprise, "What are you planning?"
"I'm redesigning the lock so I can imprison Hréonhes again." Galahad nodded his approval, " And no I don't need your help. Gwaine's helping me as is Gaius. We have a solid plan, don't worry."
But the young knight wouldn't be dismissed so quickly so Merlin tried something else, "Listen, you trained for this. For the chance to protect what you believe in, for defending the weak and so on. You want to be out there, not here in some safe room surrounded by stuffy books. You're a druid, Galahad, but you chose to be a knight."
"You really are wise sometimes."
"I have my moments." Merlin grinned. He kept grinning until Galahad left. Then he dropped that smile and got back to work.
Which runes would work best?
He didn't question how he was able to find Arthur so fast. It's probably the whole destiny thing. Anyway Merlin was grateful for this chance. It was fleeting quickly however as the King already mounted his horse and was ready to make his way to the Wall.
"Arthur!" He shouted and the king turned his head around. Merlin couldn't read his expression clearly from this distance, but it certainly wasn't annoyance. Arthur got off his horse and waited until Merlin ran down the stairs and crossed the courtyard. When they were standing in front of each other both of them paused. Neither stared directly at one another nor did they know what to say.
"I heard you were looking for me." Merlin finally said because the silence was getting pretty awkward.
"Yes, I was wondering how you are, how you're coming along with a plan, I mean." Arthur said nonchalantly. He mentally gave himself a solid slap against the head. Great way of showing concern, Arthur.
"Oh, yes. It's coming along. I've a plan. I figured out where he was imprisoned since he wasn't really dead. I'm going to recreate that."
"You're going to mimic the prison he was in?" Arthur repeated sceptical.
"That's the general idea." Merlin defended slightly hurt because of the lack of enthusiasm, "Look the details are to... um magical to explain, just ... Just trust me on this. If it works he won't attack Camelot anymore."
"You do have a plan B, right?" Arthur questioned him, "'Cause I'm hearing an awful lot of ifs."
"There was only one of them." Merlin argued. Boy, this conversation wasn't going the way he planned.
"The rest were implied." Arthur crossed his arms knowingly. Merlin opened his mouth again, closed it, opened it and closed it once more. Arthur would have found it comical, but not today. His servants shoulders sagged down in defeat.
"No trust whatsoever." Merlin muttered and stalked away shaking his head. Arthur looked around and for some reason he felt every pair of eyes in the courtyard giving him disapproving looks. It was his imagination of course, but still... He brushed his hand through his hair making a quick decision.
"Merlin!" He yelled, "Wait!" The warlock stopped already halfway up the stairs. He turned around and saw how Arthur took two steps at a time to reach him.
"What?" Merlin exclaimed annoyed when the king was standing right before him.
"I do trust you." Arthur simply said, but the effect on Merlin was astounding. His friend smiled a real smile which lit up his whole face and for the first time in days Arthur knew for certain everything was going to be okay.
"Thanks," Merlin and settled his hand a bit hesitantly on top of Arthur's shoulder. He clenched his friends shoulder and Arthur briefly noted it was much firmer than necessary. He didn't comment however with a silly remark, because Merlin was still smiling, "Be careful tonight Arthur and tomorrow... Tomorrow will be a new day."
Merlin was sitting in the vaults. He packed a bag which contained almost everything he needed and now hung over his chair. It was time. He had heard Gwaine come back with various daggers, stealth wasn't this knight's strength and one nifty spell later he had disappeared. His friend had looked around the vaults and waited for a few minutes until he sighed and left. Merlin hoped he went to the Wall.
The warning bell had sounded a moment ago. It had started. If he closed his eyes he could picture Arthur shouting encouraging words to his men, catching the final rays of sunlight with his formidable sword. The sounds of hundred other voices would drown out any signs of fear. Merlin smiled as the images he conjured reminded him of why he was going through with this.
He reviewed his scribbles on the parchments in front of him, lying inconspicuously on the table amidst the others, but they were far from innocent and definitely not simple. It was the first time he created such an elaborate scheme. His plan was reckless, hell even he admitted it. There was absolutely no guarantee for it to work. He had to try though, even and maybe just despite Kilgharrah's warning it might work. Still, the odds were slim.
There was however always a chance that everything went according to plan. Merlin snorted and absentmindedly rearranged the two black pebbles, making sure they were lying in view. Right, as if that ever happened. He could be tossed off the tower if he failed. A wry smile reflected his morbid thoughts.
He was still hesitant about his chosen spot. The North West tower was rather secluded, but it was still part of the castle, still inside Camelot. Maybe another place like the Crystal Cave or the Isle of the Blessed would have been better. But these were very magical places. What if Hréonhes had a larger sway there? It was a risk. So was meeting in Camelot. On the upside, he would have a perfect view to see if Hréonhes honoured their bargain. And then there was also the result of his plan to consider. Now that he could chose, he would prefer to die here, close to the people he cared about and not in some forgotten part of the forest.
He sighed. I'm going insane. I'm actually thinking logical about my death.
"There you are." He startled again and cursed silently. Galahad and stealth on the other hand...
Merlin looked up just as the young knight stepped into the vaults and sank into a chair clearly exhausted, "Gaius told me he was looking for you. Arthur was looking for you as well. I thought I'll look for you. Where have you been?"
"Around, I talked to them already. Hours ago I might add."
"Oh, okay." Galahad shrugged knowing his excuse was feeble to begin with and pulled a book towards him.
"You found me, you can go back now." Merlin subtly insisted, but Galahad opened the book at a random page.
"The warning bell was sounded." The druid said and sighed disgruntled. "Elyan lectured me to guard the castle. Then Gwaine did the same thing." Merlin feigned sympathy while he shuffled his papers together and stood up shoving them inside his bag.
"Where are you going?" The knight asked confused, "Didn't you need to rewrite the mechanisms of the lock?"
"I'm already a step ahead of you." Merlin said and swung his bag over his shoulder walking around the table towards the door. "Stay save, Galahad."
"I'll go with you then."
"No!"Merlin shouted alarmed, "I mean, I've got this."
"Wait a second." The druid said and frowned, "What are you not telling me?"
"Nothing." The warlock denied, but he knew it wasn't convincing.
"You don't have to do this." Galahad suddenly said.
"What?" Merlin paused in the doorway.
"Whatever it is that's making you say goodbye." When Merlin didn't answer Galahad jumped out of his chair. "Wait a second," The knight repeated finally grasping what was going on. Galahad's recent memories flashed before his eyes. All the times Merlin yelled, evaded questions, ignored Arthur even when the king tried to patch things up. Then today how he disappeared for hours on end, claiming he was being assisted by Gwaine and Gaius, but the druid couldn't recall seeing them here. Merlin had been pushing him away, he had pushed everyone away!
"You are saying goodbye!" He exclaimed in horror and started to run towards the exit.
"It can't be helped. Kilgharrah told me." Merlin admitted softly and stepped into the hallway.
No, no, no! Merlin was already out of the door! The druid speed up but the distance to get there seemed endless. Just when he got there the heavy door slammed shut. Galahad wrenched the handle, but there was no movement. The edges appeared to be welded together.
"Merlin! Merlin!" Galahad pounded his fists against the hardwood, "Unlock this door! By Samhain's Fire!"*
On the other side of the door Merlin's eyes faded from golden to blue again. His hand rested across the lock and for a second he leaned back against the door. He closed his eyes briefly.
"I know you're still out there." The knight told him. He had stopped his attack and rested his forehead against the unbending obstacle, "Please listen to me, there has to be another way. Just open the door."
"Merlin." The knight pleaded, but he knew it was useless. Merlin swallowed harshly and pictured himself in those dungeons again.
"You're a good friend, Galahad. Look after the others." He whispered and then he was gone.
*Galahad curses, but he's still a druid. :)
AN: About Merlin's acceptance, in chapter 8 (Letters and Leaves) he concluded that he was afraid because he didn't chose this. But now, when he realizes (how utterly wrong he may be...) that the alternative will be himself becoming more evil than Hréonhes, he decides that his dead is meaningful, if you catch my drift. That's what changed. The fact that he accepts this helps him to concentrate on finally finding a solution, which is shrouded a bit (yes, I'm evil). Death isn't his biggest fear and it never was. And yes, I know he's behaving erratically.
IMPORTANT AN: I have a serious deadline lingering above me, it glares every time I'm writing this fic. It's the kind of deadline that means the difference between graduating and not... So this is a forewarning, I won't be updating before June (or when I'm finished with my dull and non-fictional writing, whichever comes first). I'm sorry, but now you know so I won't feel pressured to update. I'm estimating there will be five more chapters after this including the epilogue.