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Nessie
All the excitement of today's little closet encounter fades as soon as I get home and realize that the whole family knows about what happened. It's been difficult avoiding all the winking from my aunts and snarling from my uncles. To top it off, Dad keeps giving Mom anxious look. He obviously is waiting on her to ground me or something.
Homework is actually my relief from all this. For the past thirty minutes I have been locked in my room studying diligently. In reality, I finished all the actual work a few minutes ago. Now I'm staring at my walls wondering how I will ever live this all down. On the staircase, I hear my Mom's footsteps. Her scent is strong enough to give her away even if I couldn't hear.
I toss open a book and pretend to be reading. "Hey Renesmee, can we talk?" she asks from across the room.
"I'm a little busy," I reply in hopes that she will just leave.
"That book any better upside down?" she asks with a cocky grin. Sure enough, the book is upside down. Giving up, I toss it on the floor and smile at my mom's pretty face. Sometimes I wish I could be as beautiful as her. She takes a seat next to me on my bed without even so much as moving the sheets. She's so graceful.
"What's up?" I start because I want to get this lecture over as soon as possible.
"I just think we need to talk about some things."
"By some things you mean Jake," I state.
"Well yes," she replies. "Sweetheart, I know we already had this talk four years ago after you read a mature book, but I think we need to talk about it again."
"Mom, nothing's changed!" I exclaim. I still know how sex works. And I was mortified the first time we had the talk. Of course, the first time Dad was here too. Now it's just Mom and me, but still.
"I don't want to talk about the biological stuff. Obviously, that's the same as always. But I think we need to talk about the other aspects of sex." I sigh and pick at a loose thread in my sheets. She begins with a deep breath. "Sex is a completely normal aspect of life, but that doesn't mean all people are ready to have it. Just because biologically your parts are ready, doesn't mean emotionally you are."
I want to interrupt, but Mom gives me the let me finish look that I hate. "You only get to lose your virginity once. So, before you rush into anything make sure the person you are with is the person you want to always have that moment for you. More than that though, Nessie you need to be safe if you should decide to have sex. We don't know for sure whether or not you can have kids, but since you have a period we assume so.
"Therefore, we suggest you find a way to be safe. Condoms do not work for werewolves. Their body heat is too hot so the condoms typically tear. With your combined body heat, Carlisle predicts that they will melt."
"Gross!" I exclaim.
Mom shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Carlisle predicts he can make you a birth control pill. Is that something you are interested in?"
Am I interested in this? Part of me would like the pill just to be safe, but another part of me knows that Jake and I aren't going to have sex any time soon. Even I know that I'm not quite ready for that yet. If I get the pill, the family will just assume that I'm having sex. And that I don't want to deal with. "No," I reply. "Jacob and I are not ready."
Mom smiles bigger than I have ever seen. Her eyes light up in the most beautiful way. "So you're waiting?"
"For now," I say. "I'm not really ready yet."
"You are so different from me at your age."
"Because I want to wait?" I ask.
"Not necessarily because you want to wait. It's more that you are more level-headed than I was. I'm really proud of you."
"Thanks," I reply. "Oh, I almost forgot! Do you think I can tell Lizzie about Jake? Or is that a bad idea?"
Mom looks at me with a weird quirky smile. "I think it should be fine. Jake is only pretending to be nineteen. That's not much older than you. As long as there are no more public display's of affection, everything should work out."
I try to pretend that I didn't here the word more in that sentence. "Can you manage that Renesmee?" she asks very seriously.
"Sure sure."
"Because I had to do some serious groveling to keep your father from killing Jacob today." Her tone tells me that she isn't exaggerating in the least.
"Ok, it won't happen again," I promise. "But Dad better get used to Jacob and me being a couple. It's not like you guys didn't kiss when you were dating." I hear a snarl from the top of the stairs.
"Your father and I never kissed in a storage closet at school," she states. "And more than that, we had been dating for quite a while before we ever kissed like that."
"That's just because Dad was always too worried he would kill you if he kissed you too much."
"Who told you that?"
"Aunt Rosalie."
"Of course she did," Mom mutters. "That doesn't change the point I am making. I want you try and keep those private moments between you and Jake only between the two of you. We can hear when you're together if you're too close. And I have to work hard to shield you all the time. So can you please meet me halfway?"
"Sure, sure."
"Thank you." Mom takes my warm hand and pats it lightly.
I suddenly remember a question I have wanted to ask Mom for a while, but always forget. "Do you ever miss your human life?" I pose before she can leave.
"Certain aspects I miss."
"Like what?"
"I miss the way the sun used to penetrate into my pores and warm me from the inside. I rarely ever feel heat anymore. And I miss my mom. I would do anything to see her again."
"I want to meet her," I admit.
"I want you to meet her too. Maybe some day you can travel to Florida and meet her yourself."
"Do you miss anything else?"
"There are little things I guess. Like I miss being able to sleep. It was nice to escape for a while. And I miss my truck."
"You're truck?" I can't see what this has to do with being a human.
"I used to drive this really old beat-up truck. And I loved it. But your dad insisted on getting me a better car. I'm sure I would hate it now, but as a human, I loved it."
"When are you gonna buy me my first car?"
"When I can trust you not to run away with it."
"Don't lie to me anymore and I won't run away. It's simple really."
"I'm sorry Renesmee. It was wrong for us to lie. We won't lie to you ever again. I promise," she states markings of sadness bursting through her eyes. "We aren't safe even now."
"Is that why you wanted me to learn to fight?"
"I don't want you to be left defenseless. It's only a matter of time before we have to go back to Italy. And when we do, it will be in order to overthrow the Volturi."
"Why overthrow them?"
"Because Edward says Aro eventually wants to run tests on you. And we won't allow them to take you."
"You can't fight them by yourself!" I exclaim scared.
"The wolves have already agreed to help. And we will gather a large group like we did when they came for you years ago. Most of the people who helped us then have kept in touch. They are waiting for the go ahead."
"Why are the wolves involved?"
"Because they aren't only coming for you. They want to massacre the wolves because they are a threat."
"So Jacob is in danger?" I ask. A tear falls from my eye and I let it trail down my cheek. Mom catches it at my chin and wipes it away.
"Not at the moment. We are all safe for now."
"I want to come with and fight," I state matter-of-factly.
"Absolutely not. You will stay here where you are safe. But there is no need to worry about this now. We have some time."
"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"
"Learn to fight. Make yourself as strong as possible. Enjoy your first ever high school experience. I want you to be as normal as you possibly can."
"Fine," I sigh.
"Everything will be fine Renesmee. Now you should probably get back to reading that book," she nods toward the book on the floor. "You might finish faster if you read it right side up." With that she picks the book up and kisses my forehead.
As she leaves, I send Jake a text telling him that we can't meet tomorrow in the closet unless he wants to lose a limb.