Hey,
first of all thank you so, so, so much for the lovely reviews, they mean more to me than you think :*)

So, I think I never wrote a chapter so difficult like this here. I know it might sounds insane how Yusuf reacts, but I wanted him to seem insecure and torn. I hope I got the point a little bit, please tell me what you think about it!

Thanks for reading!

Chapter XII: I won't let you go

"For this is the end
I've drowned and dreamt this moment
So overdue I owe them
Swept away, I'm stolen"

"April? What's wrong?" Jackson asked worried.

Instead of answering she turned the pendant around so he saw what was on it.

Jackson's mouth dropped open and he breathed:

"Oh no..."

On the pendant was the flag of the terrorist organization "Al-Qaeda".

April still looked horrified at Jackson and stuttered:

"Is...is he responsible for the terror attack? He did it?"

Jackson exhaled and said:

"We...maybe he's a suicide bomber and has a bomb in his body. I-I get us Dr. Hunt I think he knows a little bit more about it than I do," He answered with his voice vibrating and was on his way to the door when he heard April's quiet question:

"But Jackson, what if he has another cardiac arrest?"

April wasn't able to think clear. Sure, she knew how to handle a cardiac arrest, but this guy was probably a guy who killed so many people!

Jackson turned around and said:

"Dr. Ross, would you please look after Dr. Hunt?"

He was sure that the intern Ross was able to do the CPR, but April was so shocked that he stayed. Ross got up and said:

"I'll do it."

Jackson nodded and answered:

"Okay, thanks. Now back to him...I think he's a guy from Al-Qaeda. Nobody carries a pendant with the flag on it just for fun."

April had started to shiver and she was freaking feared. She didn't want to live trough a situation like the shooting again...

"What do you think should we do?" Jackson asked April still staying paralyzed at the arm of Yasha.

"I-I don't know," April said quietly and slowly her eyes filled with tears of fear.

Jackson saw that her eyes were glossy but he wasn't sure whether he could go to her and hug her. She needed him and actually he was her best friend, so he should freaking be there for her. They were alone at the room so he admitted honest:

"If he seriously was the responsible guy, I don't want him to survive. He was responsible that people were hurt, that some people might be dead. That families aren't going to be the same. I really don't want to, but we have keep him alive."

Now April couldn't held back the tears and they fell down her face.

"Hey...Shh," Jackson whispered worried and walked around the table and finally hugged her. She put her arms around his navy scrub top and hold his torso tight, Jackson ran his hand up and down her back while one hand rested at her neck.

April felt immediately better when she felt his body against hers, especially her head against his chest. She loved how he smelled and breathed it in.

"I guess we should get him in the O.R. to work on his arms. What about this?" Jackson proposed.

"You're an amazing person, you know this, right?" April whispered against his chest.

"You're sure you're talking about me?" Jackson asked but had to smile.

"Yeah...," The trauma surgeon breathed smiling up at him but then resting her head back it his chest.

"Thank you, April...," Jackson said quietly and kissed her part.

April was for a second speechless but she than answered:

"You're welcome..."

Their intimate moment was ruined by the beeping of the monitor.

"Ahh shit," Jackson cursed and was about to start the CPR.

"No, let me do it, you go and drive this bed to the O.R., I jump on him and start CPR," April said loud and climbed on the bed and started the CPR.

"All right."

Jackson pushed the door open and shoved the bed out of the trauma room. He got barely a few steps when he heard a loud man's voice:

"Stop!"

Jackson turned to the voice and saw a man who looked like he was from an Arabian country and was not even 20.

The guy came closer to the bed and said:

"What's wrong with him?"

"Can I tell you that later?"

Suddenly everything went fast. The guy took out a gun and pointed it at Jackson and suddenly it was horrifying quiet in the pit. Then, the man shouted angry:

"What is wrong with him?"

April had stopped the CPR and had squeaked when the man pointed the gun at Jackson. He slowly raised his hands and looked quickly at April.

"April! Keep goin'!" Jackson said quietly but he didn't take his gaze away from the gun.

But April couldn't go on, she sat there paralyzed and her eyes again started to fill with tears. If this guy was going to shoot, she had to see it the second time that somebody got shot in front of her. But this time it was Jackson. She couldn't let Jackson get shot, he was the man she loved!

In the meantime Alex moved slowly behind them to the door and quietly opened it. He would call the SWAT, he wouldn't let his friends die.

"You heard the man, keep going!" The guy said.

Now the tears ran down April's face and dropped on Yasha's chest. The Arab now pointed his gun at her and she started to whine.

"Hey, April. Look at me. Just keep going, okay?" Jackson said horrified. Now his worst nightmare came true...

"I-I can't...," April whispered to Jackson and he sighed.

"You can do this, I believe in you that you can do this, April. You're strong, we will get through this together. You and me, remember?" Jackson whispered so only April was able to hear him.

April looked up, breathed and kept going:

"You and me..."

"So what is wrong with him?" The Arabic shouted again.

"I tell you something, if you want that he survives this, put the gun down and let us do our work!" Jackson answered loud.

"He's responsible that this here happened. And you want him to survive this?"

"Just put the freaking gun down and let us save this guy!" Jackson spoke loudly.

"J-Jackson...If we wait any longer, he's not going to survive this...," April whispered with tears trailing down her cheeks.

"I know it's much to ask, but please keep going. And if it looks like we waited too long, stop it, okay? " Jackson pleased quietly and looked again at April - a mistake.

"Look at me when I'm talking with you or I shoot your girl!"

Jackson looked immediately back at the Arabic, he wasn't going to let April got shot, never.

It had been four minutes and seven seconds since April started the CPR, he wouldn't longer stand this, because they had no medicine or the time to do something different than lifesaving with CPR. It was like Jackson was able to read April's mind, he thought the same.

The guy looked hate-filled at Yasha and began to talk:

"My name's Yusuf, I'm the younger brother of Yasha, your patient. We're responsible for what happened down at the Space Needle. Yasha's also a member of Al-Qaeda...and so am I."

The gasps from patients and doctors were loud enough that everyone was able to hear them. After the bomb, the shooting, the plane crash and everything else, they had two guys from Al-Qaeda here...

"He forced me to join them when I was 18, now I'm 19. The last five years he abused me. And now, does it sounds selfish when I say that I'm happy when he'd die? I didn't want anything from this shit I'm now confronted with." Yusuf asked desperate.

"But what would it bring when you shoot one of us?" Jackson asked slowly.

"You keep him alive and I don't want this, so I'm waiting here until he dies ..."

April's arms hurt like hell, she wasn't able to do the CPR any longer.

Now, it had been six minutes and fourteen seconds since she tried to reanimate her patient, but nothing worked... Her tears still trailed down her cheeks and she became slower, she had lost Yasha. Finally April looked up to Jackson and whispered:

"He's dead...it's over...he's dead..."

Jackson closed his eyes and exhaled agonized. He had to talk to Yusuf...

"What did she said?" Yusuf asked.

"I'm really sorry, but-"

"He died?" Yusuf he asked hopefully.

Jackson nodded slowly, he was shocked how happy Yusuf was about the death of his brother...

But then suddenly the expression on Yusuf's face changed, it became sad and then angry. His arm now started to shiver uncontrollably and finally he put the gun down. He looked up to April and said:

"Come down from the bed."

April looked feared at Jackson and he shook his head. He wouldn't let April get shot. Sure, she could get shot even when she sat on the bed, but he was afraid what Yusuf would do with her when she stand.

"I said, come down from the bed!" Yusuf said angry.

April looked panicked to Jackson and he had to think about what he should do. Should he let her go with the risk that she might get shot? Or should she stay where she was?

"I can't let you go down there, April...," Jackson whispered freaking scared.

"We will get through this together, remember?" April whispered back with a weak smile.

She moved back from the torso and slowly got back to ground. She was now a few feet away from Yusuf and he suddenly came close and before she knew what happened she had the big gun at her left temple and she stood right in front of him, her back against his chest. April held her breath with her eyes wide open in shock. This guy was going to kill her! Should she start talking again? Like she did when Gary Clark pointed the gun at her? If she was about to die, should she say that she loved Jackson? Just in case there's no later? She had to, so she opened her mouth but no voice came out of it...

Jackson became suddenly angry as hell. This guy wasn't going to kill his April. This couldn't end like his nightmare, if somebody had to get shot, it had to be him. It was his freaking fault that April stood there with the gun at her temple. Jackson and April stood maybe six feet away from him, he had to get to her.

"You killed my brother, you little bitch!" The brother of Yasha shouted at April and she winced whining. Now Yusuf was really sad about the death of his brother? What was wrong with him?

"Take that back," Jackson said, his voice vibrated because he was so angry.

"Why should I? She killed my brother!" He answered and his voice broke.

"Jackson...," April sobbed quietly and was about to say out loud her feelings but again she couldn't finish.

"Hey, everything's going to be fine, okay?" Jackson said worried, it was time the he do something.

"I wouldn't be so sure about it...You know, before we kill somebody we torture them, so is the little whore your girlfriend? What do you think about this?" He laughed and moved his hand up to April's breast, she just started to cry even more.

"Get your freaking nasty hands off her!" Jackson shouted and came closer.

Still, nobody had moved in the pit, all the memories from the shooting came back. The only patients which were still here, were the cases of Christina, Owen and Bailey. All of them had experienced hard stuff during the shooting, and they definitely didn't want to live through it again, nobody of them could move, though. But somehow they had to help April and Jackson...
Owen looked at Christina who stood next to her patient and shivered like Bailey did.

Yusuf had replaced his hand and looked back at Jackson suddenly with a sad smile. April still cried and looked at him.

"What is your freaking problem?" Jackson asked desperate. He had to save April...and the only way to save her was that he went sacrificing himself...

"She killed my brother! What would you do when somebody killed one member of your family?" Yusuf asked back and his eyes became glossy.

"Funny, that you ask me how I would feel when my family got killed. Ironically, my father, my brother and my sister were killed on 9/11. I know pretty accurate how you feel," Jackson laughed humorless.

Now, if it was even possible, it got so quiet you were able to hear a feather trailing down to the ground. Nobody of them had known that Jackson had siblings, even April didn't knew that. She formed with her lips a inaudible "What?" and gazed at him. Yusuf also looked at him in disbelief and asked quiet:

Yusuf remained silent and looked back at Jackson

The plastic surgeon felt terrible, never talking about his family made this theme a little inviolable to him. Sure he thought about his dad, Skylar and Penelope every day, they were his family.

April saw the heavy sadness in his eyes and felt sick. She just couldn't stand her any longer with the gun at her neck, she had to say something. And finally she was courageous enough to say something more or less out loud.

"Yusuf, are you sure that you don't care about your brother?"

"He's my brother, actually I should care about him, but he also put me through all this shit. Do you think I wanted to be a member of Al-Qaeda? He threatened me to kill my girlfriend when I wouldn't join. After I was a member, he killed her, even though I joined. And this is why I hate him so much, but he's also my brother. When we were younger he was always there for me...And eventually he turned into this asshole," Yusuf replied with a sad expression on his face.

Now it was time for April to say what she wanted to say five minutes ago.

"The guy standing in front of us is the man I love more than anything. If you kill one of us, you're like your brother...," April admitted shy and looked up into the surprised face of Jackson.

Jackson's mouth slowly dropped open. So what April said was true? Or did she just said it in the heat of the moment? Jackson just wanted to make a move towards her and just kiss her, and tell her that he loved her, too. And he had done wasn't there a guy with a gun pointing at her head.

April bit down at her bottom lip and looked back on the floor. Now that she had said it out loud she felt better. But what would Jackson say?

"Oh! But why are you allowed to live and my girlfriend not? Why are you allowed to be happy and I'm not? I should shoot you."

"No. Shoot me. I'm responsible for what happened to your brother," Jackson finally said. April wasn't going to get shot, never. His nightmare shouldn't turn out the way it always turned out.

April looked up again and said in disbelief:

"No, no, no!"

"Please. It's not her fault. If you wanna make somebody responsible shoot me. I said she should stop, it was my decision," Jackson answered quietly. His heart began to race, the prospect of April not getting shot felt good.

Yusuf looked between April and Jackson, but just in time the doors behind him opened quiet and the SWAT-members came in. Their guns showed at Yusuf and Jackson smiled weak, it looked like they were rescuing them.

"Say goodbye...," Yusuf whispered and pulled the trigger.

Yeah, the cliffhanger is evil ^^
I really want to know what you think about this whole Yusuf thing, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks again for reading and please take a minute to leave a reveiw