Hey floks,
at first, I am really sorry that it took me so long to update this fic, but I was very busy and I had problems to fulfil the last chapter.
I hope you'll be okay with the chapter :)

Thanks for reading and for the lovely reviwes! :*)

Chapter XII: The Aftermath

"All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I'm hoping that the gates,
They'll tell me that you're mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?"

In April's eyes it was like Jackson broke down in slow-motion.

While Jackson fell, he heard another shoot. Did Yusuf also shot April? No, god damn it, please not! He finally landed on the ground and during this his head thudded on the floor.

But April wasn't the one who got shot, Yusuf was shot by the SWAT.

"Jackson! No! Jaaackson!" April screamed high-pitched and ran to him. It was like her heart was ripped out, she had massive problems with breathing, it was like her trachea was cut. The trauma surgeon grabbed her throat and bended. This was abominable nightmare, Jackson wasn't shot, this...this couldn't be real. Even though she ran to him and kneed down, put his head on her lap and grabbed his hand squeezing it strong.

"Jackson, you're fucking listening to me now, okay? You won't die, dufus, you're hearing me?!" April cursed and her tears were falling down on his face.

If Jackson was about to die he wanted to say what he should have done so much earlier. He heard what she said and after he took a few run-ups he was finally able to say what was due:

"I..."

The smell of her vanilla shampoo and that his hand she was holding started to hurt were the last things he realized before he passed away. His eyes fluttered a last time and April began to sob with her whole body shivering like hell. She slapped him and whispered angry:

"How dare you die in my arms, you moron?! You come back and then we have our freaking wedding and be amazing parents, remember?"

"April! April, hey!" Izzie's voice came from behind her. She placed her hands on April's shoulders and tried to move her back.

They heard wheezes from the flinching Yusuf who was now surrounded by the SWAT members.

She hadn't realized that Christina, Owen, Alex and Bailey also stood there.

"April, we need to go. Come, stay up...," Izzie tried to get her away.

"Dr. Kepner! We need to get him into the OR!" Christina said loud.

Now she finally looked up and noticed that her thighs had gotten warm...because of his blood. She slowly got up and lurched back, because she felt sick in her stomach, and she had the feeling that she'd throw up every second. Before she was able to fall down, Izzie hold her and sat her down on the chair from the nurse station.

Alex helped Hunt and the nurse Tyler to lay Jackson on a gurney to rush him into surgery. April was still sobbing and shivering and finally Alex proposed after going to her:

"Hey, come on April, we get you to the attendings lounge...You want something to drink?"

"I want Jackson...," She answered so quiet she barely understood herself.

"Come on, April, we gotta go."

"I want to see the surgery...," April whispered and looked up to Izzie and Alex. She felt totally empty. So this was how it felt to see your loved one get hurt. April realized this tied feeling in her chest which got worse the more time passed away. In front of her eyes the whole scenario repeated again and again, so what Jackson had dreamed had happened...

"No...I don't think that's a good idea...," Alex answered and still looked horrified by what just had happened.

April looked like a little puppy up to him and begged whispering:

"Please, let me see the surgery...please!"

Alex looked to Izzie who nodded slightly. She placed her hand on April's shoulder and said:

"Come, let's go, Dimples."

The trauma surgeon stood up slowly and Izzie put one arm around her shoulder, guiding her to the gallery with Alex in tow. April sat down in the middle of the front row, Izzie and Alex on her sides.

Jackson laid on the OR table and Christina and Owen were just opening his chest. April's mind raised like a formula 1 car through Monaco. April reminded all the memories she had shared with Jackson, when they first met at Mercy West, their first night together in San Francisco, when he proposed to her...proposed to her...proposed to her? Oh Jesus Christ... She felt like the biggest idiot in this world, she should had taken this more or less official proposal serious, maybe with this, she wouldn't be in this situation? But, now back to reality, no marriage would protect someone from getting shot.

"I just can't freaking sit here and do nothing while he's in surgery," Alex said and stood up, leaving the gallery.

"Alex! Where are you going!?" Izzie asked and followed him outside.

"Go down and ask whether I can help them! Just stay with April before she starts freaking out. Trust me, it'll -"

They suddenly heard a high-pitched scream and ran back to the gallery, finding April kneeing at the window holding her hands on it.

Izzie stopped in front of her but looked down at the OR and found Christina and Owen's scrubs plus parts of their faces covered with blood.

"I help them!" Alex stated and ran off to the OR.

The OB/Gyn surgeon was able to persuade April to side down and asked:

"What the hell happened?"

"T-t-the cartridge e-e-exploded!"

And if it the situation wasn't bad enough his blood pressure dropped rapid...

Ten minutes ago from Jackson's perspective...

Jackson felt the pain in the left side of his chest and suddenly he had problems with breathing. He broke slowly down and felt how a liquid flowed down his back - blood. Another shot occurred and he was suddenly scared as hell, was April shot? But to his relief he heard her screaming out his name. When his head thudded on the floor he realized a mean pain in his head, but a few seconds later he saw April next to him which made him feel better. Everything he saw became darker and darker, but he still heard April cursing at him. If he was about to die, he wanted to say those four words he should already said out loud, like Summer and Mark had told him.

"I..."

And then his eyes closed and the sounds of the pit faded away.

A few moments later he found himself on a gurney and the ceiling of the hospital rushed away in front of his eyes. Owen realized the now awake plastic surgeon and said quietly:

"Avery, stay with me, okay? Stay. With. Me."

Jackson looked at him, but the whole scene became darker and darker again. He lost his consciousness just when they put him on the OR table.

The anesthetist drugged him, and for him a few seconds later, the whole scenario replayed in his head. But suddenly his whole life from the first day he could remember to the last was seemed to happen in his head again. Finally he noticed a fair light and the next thing he saw was a huge vanilla farm.

What he saw took his breath, his eyes opened in shock. Standing in between the vanilla beans he saw his father, his brothers and sister, Mark, Charles and Lexie.

Did that mean...he was...dead?

"Oh my God, oh my god," April stuttered sobbing when she saw that his blood pressure was at 20.

"Okay, hun, everything's going to be fine. Come, you need to sit down," Izzie tried to persuade her desperately, but April refused and kneed there with her hands on the glass.

Jackson couldn't just die on the OR table, he had to live, at least for her. Finally, Alex appeared in the OR to help Christina and Owen. He walked to the side of the cardio surgeon and placed his hand into his friend's chest - a really creepy feeling.

Because Izzie wasn't able to calm April down, she walked to the intercom and turned it down.

"Okay, since you won't listen to me the easy way, I have to say it this way. I know that you feel totally empty right know, but if you just stand there and look down on him, you're not doing a favor for any one of you, you understand me?"

And for the first time, April looked up and her red, teary eyes showed the first time in the last couple of minutes a strong emotion - anger.

"Are you kidding me? I'm maybe about to lose the man I love more than I loved any other male in my entire life and you are telling me that I should calm down? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" April nearly screamed at her new friend.

But Izzie just smiled and said:

"Look, his blood pressure rises..."

April spun her head around to see that his blood pressure was really rising. She exhaled heavily and started to cry again, but this time they were tears of relief. After looking down on Owen who gazed concerned up to her, she sat down and Izzie followed her. The trauma surgeon ran her hands over her face and finally laid her head on the OB/Gyn surgeon's shoulder.

Okay, so Jackson had nearly died twice this day and she was sure that she wouldn't survive another time for sure.

"Jackson?" He heard his sister asking, but before he was able to answer, she had already hugged him, her arms tight around his neck. Jackson put his arms around her waist and her long, slightly curled, black hair covered his face.

"Penelope Yara Avery!" Jackson said smiling and slowly a tiny tear escaped his eye. Penelope was his three years younger little sister and he always had a very close bond with her during their childhood and teenager time. Even though it had been twelve years since he saw her the last time, she hadn't changed. She still looked like the sixteen years old girl, her hair was still a little sleek with big waves. Penelope had always been tall, but she was one head smaller than Jackson and his older brothers Skylar and Joshua.

"You shouldn't be here already, Avery," Jackson heard the voice of Mark Sloan.

"Well, you guys neither," Jackson said taken back by the presence of all this people he had loved and lost. His sister leaned her head shortly against his shoulder but then checked out how much he had changed since September 2001.

"And I thought the Plastic Posse would live on," The former chief of plastics answered back with a wide smile. He opened his arms and gave the smaller man a tight hug.

And then he forgot about what just had happened down on earth for a short moment.

The surgery lasted additionally five hours, which where pure torture for April. Jackson crashed three more times and he was diagnosed with aortic dissection. His ventricle were badly damaged so after some discussion they decided to place him temporally in an artificial coma.

After the surgery Christina and Owen came to April to tell Jackson's current status.

"We'll place him in an artificial coma for at least a week, then we'll see how he's doing," Owen explained sympathetic her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

April nodded dazed and whispered a husky:

"Thank you, for everything you did, really. Thank you three so, so much."

They all nodded, but Alex stayed and said:

"We should call Mama Avery, I'll do it, okay?"

"No, I will...this is all my freaking fault, I need to do this," April breathed quietly and dialed Catherine's number.

"April, dear, are you okay after all?" The urologist asked with a fragile voice.

"Dr. Avery, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't want him to suffer now because of me -" April started to cry again. Talking to his mother was painful, but at least she hadn't punished her -yet.

"Hey, he decided to rescue you, that just shows how much he loves you, darling. My plane is ready to take-off in twenty minutes, I'll be there within' six hours. And then we can talk, don't worry my dear, everything is going to be fine, all right?"

April nodded slightly and said goodbye to Catherine. Izzie asked what she wanted to do now, and all she wanted was to see Jackson so they went to the CICU. When April looked through the window she was shocked, because he looked so tiny in the bed. The blue tube looked out of his mouth and the respirator hummed quietly. April slowly entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She carefully took his hand and new tears started to trail down her cheeks. She buried her face in the crook of his elbow. The trauma surgeon whispered "I love you" and " I am so sorry" over and over again, while the knot in her chest nearly killed her.

How much did she wished that she'd just wake up and realize that this whole shit was just a very real nightmare. How much did she wished that Jackson would wake up and be fine within days?

So yeah, this is what you'll have to deal with the next chapters :-)
I know this has a MerDer slang, but it won't be like this, trust me.

Thanks again for reading and please leave me a review for any suggestions etc. :)