Warning! This fic is slash, so if you don't like that, don't read. I should probably also warn that there will be a fair bit of swearing.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Soap, Ghost, or any other part of Modern Warfare as they all belong to Infinity Ward. I'm just amateur writer who likes to borrow them a little.
Note from Sassy: It only feels like two minutes since I updated, but here I am again, clogging up your inboxes with another chapter. Due to the severe telling off that I got from the reviews of my last chapter, I will not apologise for the chapter being long and I will try and have some faith in myself too. Thank you for all your kinds words people! And here come the replies to all of your lovely reviews:
Carovinee: *hands tissues* It was supposed to be depressing yet, but I still always feel bad knowing that I made people cry. There's a bit of fluff in here though, just for you :)
UrgentOrange: Message received and understood. I shall keep all handwringing to an absolute minimum :P
Dunedain789: I am feeling very proud after your comment, and I agree, I think a bit of angst is good for the soul. As long as its pretend fanfiction angst of course. :P Enjoy your cookies! :D
xGhostxStealth: I do hope Ghost is behaving himself for you now :P And thank you! It saddened me when it realised that although I'd managed to save Ghost, Loose Ends was so final that he would at least have to be scarred. Damn canon. And aww! You seriously are way too kind. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter so much. And plus…smiley faces ftw! :D
VerityA: Please see my past replies/pms for the gushing about how lovely your compliments are :P Eitherway, I hope you enjoy this chapter…I at least *tried* to cheer up the boys…
Reeserella: Uh huh…writer's flu? Is it serious, doc? :P And if it helps I think I have a slight kink for Ghost's scar, it just shows how lovely and brave he is *nods* I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Greenyfox: They're a little happier in this chapter, but they definitely will be, we just have to give them time. And haha, I'm updating even earlier! :D
xStealthxSniperx: Don't worry, I'm just honoured that you review chapter 7, I don't take these things for granted. And I can pretty much assure you that if angst is your thing you should stick with me, I have a habit of writing it by accident… :P Thanks for your support!
And now…*Drum roll* Chapter 8. Enjoy!
The constant whir of helicopter blades was ever present; the steady rumble of engines causing the entire hangar to reverberate around them. The air was chilled, the ground littered with early morning frost, the sun hanging in the sky, perched a top of low lying hills.
"10 minutes, gentlemen." Shepherd announced, nodding to Ghost and Price in turn as he strode past them to his own helicopter. "Let's keep this tight, ok?"
"Sir…" Price replied quickly, before turning to Riley. "If you see Soap, tell him that I'll be waiting by the chopper. Good luck."
"Sir…"
As Price walked off out to the chopper, Ghost suddenly felt very isolated within the confines of the hangar. The rest of the men were all suited up and ready to go; each knowing their briefs backwards, and yet he himself was still uneasy. It was just another op, but this time, something didn't feel quite right.
Maybe it was just the extenuating circumstances. After all, the world had been plunged into a fresh bout of fighting, two super powers colliding with earth shattering force. Even with Makarov dead, things would not change instantly. The strange feeling of irrelevance felt alien in Riley's mind, mingled amongst a rare feeling of inadequacy. He would be leading the assault on the safehouse, and although he trusted the men in his team with his life, how could Ghost be so sure that he had earned the same courtesy from them?
Or maybe there was another reason. The team was divided. It was his first major op in some time where Soap wouldn't be with him, and that fact alone got under Riley's skin more than anything else. He hated the idea that they'd both be fighting, but with hundreds of miles of separation in between. That meant that no matter how hard he tried, Soap's fate was completely out of Ghost's hands, as if things went wrong he would have no way of even reaching him. Ghost laughed at himself quietly. He was thinking of Soap as if he'd be lost without him, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Experience had taught him that John Mactavish was a man who could survive absolutely anything.
Riley shrugged. Maybe deep down he just wanted to feel like Soap actually needed him.
Retreating further into the hangar, Ghost made his way into the armoury, a small room tucked away in the far right corner. Originally he'd been looking for Roach, but he soon forgot that when he saw Mactavish suiting up in the corner of the room, the Captain unaware as he sheathed his combat knife and bent down to pick up his MP5K.
"Price's waiting for you." Riley said quickly, enjoying how Mactavish jumped at the sudden noise. The Captain twirled round; smiling by the time his gaze met Riley's.
"Thought he might be. Price is the kind of guy who likes to be first on the bird and first off."
"And you?"
"I just go where I'm sent, when I'm sent there." Soap nodded, indicating with his fingers for Ghost to come a little closer. "You all ready?"
"As I'll ever be." Riley shrugged. "I'll be better when we have Makarov."
"He doesn't stand a chance." Soap shook his head. "Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. As long as our intel is solid."
"Shepherd swears by it."
"Shepherd would." Soap smirked. "Even if he thought we were walking into a death trap, I'm not sure he'd tell us." The Captain winked. "Bad for morale."
"True." Ghost grinned beneath his mask. "I don't think I'd want to know anyway…I like surprises."
"Really?" Mactavish raised an eyebrow. "I'll have to remember that."
"Thought you already knew, sir." Ghost laughed, turning on his heel. "I should get going before Archer starts complaining." He bit his lip underneath his mask, weighing up whether or not he should say more as he looked over his shoulder to Soap. "Just...look after yourself out there, ok?"
"Are you worried about me, Riley?"
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it."
"Negative, sir." Riley laughed uneasily. "I just can't be arsed with having to handle a new Captain."
"You never know…Shepherd might promote you…"
"Doubt that." Ghost shook his head, before adjusting his sunglasses. "He knows as well as I do that we don't see eye to eye."
"Then I'll just have to make sure I make it back." Soap smirked, stepping closer to Riley by the door. He seemed bored of playing stupid now, and Ghost couldn't help but wonder if his Captain had seen all the way through his jokes to the underlying insecurities that drove them. Mactavish reached out, giving Riley's left shoulder a caring squeeze. Ghost expected the contact to be lost in seconds, but it lingered, sparking confusion deep at the back of his mind. "You're a damn good soldier, Ghost."
"Tell me something I don't know…"
"Typical." Soap rolled his eyes, ignoring the lieutenant's false arrogance. "Seriously though, Ghost. I trust you to do the right thing today, Roach trusts you…hell, even Archer trusts you." The Captain let out a soft sigh, worrying his lip with his teeth for a moment before continuing. "But…I need you to take care too."
"I always do, John."
"Yeah but…" Mactavish rubbed at his eyes. "Look…I don't know how to fucking say this…" He reached upwards with his free hand, toying with the base of Ghost's mask, lifting it slowly, tentatively, yet the movement was deliberate enough for Riley to notice it. "…Maybe…maybe you were right. Ok? The things you've said about me." The Captain shrugged, his eyes fixed to Riley's mouth. "You were right. Ok, Ghost? As much as it fucking pains me to say it…You were right."
"Really?" Riley's mouth was so dry that the word barely passed from his lips. "You're sure…?"
"As sure as I can be." Soap shook his head slightly. "Its complicated…you know that?"
"Yeah."
"And I'm not promising anything." This time Soap was sure to meet Ghost's gaze. "I can't. But I can't keep pretending to hate you either…"
"You were never very good at it." Riley managed to quip.
"There's a reason I became a soldier." Soap smirked. "It's a lot of things, but at least it's honest."
"Gentlemen! One minute!" Shepherd's voice was a rude guest, crashing through the room and destroying everything in its path.
"I should go." Ghost nodded quickly, though he didn't make any attempt to move. "You should too."
"Wait…" Soap's right hand was curled around the back of Ghost's neck before he even realised he'd done it, Ghost's brain a conflicting mess of confusion and uncertainty. He watched as Soap continued to stare at him for a second longer, his features impossible for Ghost to read effectively. "Life's too fucking short…"
Before he could reply, Ghost's face was pulled forward into a clumsy kiss, the chapped lips he found there dry and dominating. Staggering slightly from the sudden imbalance, Riley tried to find his feet, hands gripping Mactavish's face whilst his brain tried to catch up. He was kissing John, the Captain he had almost entirely given up all hope on. And Soap had started it, had at least admitted something, however vague it might have been. Riley laughed to himself as a rough tongue grazed against his own. Sure, he liked surprises, but he hadn't seen this one coming in a million years…
Soap pulled away with a grin, looking more relaxed in those few fleeting moments than he had done in months. As if suddenly realising what he'd done, he let go of Riley, his hands withdrawing as if he had just touched something white hot. But the look of anger and sheer insecurity that Riley had half expected to see in his eyes simply wasn't there. And that was a huge improvement.
"Right…" Soap quickly coughed, side stepping around Ghost towards the door of the armoury. "I…err…guess I'll see you on the other side, eh?" He smiled, nodding quickly, a moment's hesitation in his movements. But whatever else the Captain seemed to want to say, he decided against it, ducking out of the door and jogging through the hangar to his chopper instead.
Ghost remembered watching him closely. Little had he known that the next time he would see Soap would be a year later down the scope of his rifle…
He was awake, but pretending that he wasn't. His eyes closed, mask firmly in place, Riley laid back on his wire framed bed, his feet crossed at the ankle, arms folded tightly across his chest. To his left, he could hear Price moving around, the faint gush of running water as the man showered, followed by the odd rustle and zipping noise as he got dressed. But Riley kept his eyes firmly shut. It was a trick he'd learnt living in the barracks when he'd first joined the Army. If people thought you were asleep, they'd leave you be. And if people left you alone, then you finally had the chance to actually think.
His conversation with John had gone inconceivably wrong. Sure, Riley had imagined much worse scenarios over the last year, but at least they were just in his head, figments of his own imagination and insecurities. But this was real. He'd said everything the way he'd not wanted to say it, avoided all the questions that he knew Soap deserved an answer to. And even worse, he'd actually shrugged off Soap's attempts to reassure him, reflecting his own poor self image onto John with no real cause. Riley inwardly kicked himself, biting down hard on his lip. The man was in a fucking hospital bed for Christ's sake…
But what else could he do? Soap might have been kidding himself, but Riley was a realist, especially now. And to be brutally honest, if Soap hadn'tbeen sure about how he felt towards Riley when he was whole, then how could he ever be sure now?
"Oi!" A pile of fabric suddenly landed on Ghost's head and he jumped, opening his eyes in an instant. Standing over him was Price, an amused smile spread across his still slightly damp features. "Rise and shine." He shook his head, chuckling to himself as he walked over to his own bed and sat down to lace his boots.
"What are these?"
"Last time I checked? Clothes." Price rolled his eyes, craning his head up to look at Ghost for a second. "Mine."
"And…?"
"And yours are practically in pieces." The Captain laughed, before nodding towards the washroom on the far wall. "Shower's through there. Get yourself cleaned up, mate."
For a short time, Ghost was in heaven.
He had to admit that the warm water of the shower did soothe his mind as well as his body. He'd been travelling for just short of 8 months, and in that time showers had sometimes been few and far between, large amounts of warm water soon becoming a luxury. At the time Riley hadn't been all that bothered, after all, he'd had to put up with some pretty crude forms of hygiene during some operations. But now that he was stood there, slowly being swallowed up by a cascade of warm, seemingly endless water, Riley realised what he'd been missing. After all, sometimes you had to have things back to realise just how much you'd missed them in the first place…
When he stepped out of the washroom, clean, shaven and wearing Price's slightly too short clothes (the older Captain was an inch or so shorter than he after all), Ghost felt human again. Or at least alive. To be honest then he would have settled for anything that made him feel that little less like an animal.
"Brought you some food." Price nodded to the plate of toast sitting on Riley's bed expectantly. He took a deep drag from the cigarette that smouldered in his left hand, smiling gently. "Thought you'd be hungry."
"Thanks, sir."
"Enough of the sir." Price shook his head. "Not an officer anymore am I?" He took in another deep lungful of smoke. "It's Price…or if you really have to, John."
"Ok." Riley smiled weakly in acknowledgement, sitting down and taking a few bites from one of the slices of toast. Price however seemed to simply stare at him. "Something wrong?"
"Soap's asked to see you." The Captain had a knowing look in his eyes, but Ghost chose to ignore it.
"Any reason?"
"Maybe to continue your conversation from last night?" He laughed as Ghost looked at him, taken a back. "You were gone a good hour, did you really expect me to not notice?"
"I guess not."
"It's none of my business anyway." Leaning back against his pillows, Price gave the lieutenant a small nod. "But I said I'd pass on the message."
"Thanks." Ghost took a few more bites from his toast, more to dispel the tension in the room rather than because he was particularly hungry. He glanced to Price, who had just finished his cigarette, staring at his hand as he stubbed the object out onto the floor. A sudden thought hit him, and Ghost smiled as the idea passed through his mind. "Price?"
"Yeah?"
"Where'd you get those?"
"Guy on the base gets them for me." The Captain shrugged. "Why?"
"Do you think I could have a pack?"
"Didn't realise you smoked…"
"It's been that kind of week." Ghost laughed, watching the Captain reach for the pack lying beside his bed and tossing it across the small room to him.
"Have those…only just opened 'em." He nodded, reaching for his lighter and tossing it to Ghost as well. "You'll be needing that too."
"Thanks." Ghost nodded quickly, stuffing the items into his pocket and heading for the door. He looked to Price before he left, but the Captain seemed subdued, his eyes skimming through a pile of papers that seemed to be in Russian. Ghost smiled to himself; at least he could slip away without any further questions.
Patting the packet of cigarettes in his pocket, Ghost set off down the corridor, his footsteps headed in the opposite direction to the exit. After all, he didn't smoke. But he knew someone who did…
So even when I set out to write a happier chapter, it ends up with a bit of angst thrown in too. But I did spend most of the chapter listening to Hans Zimmer's soundtrack to Black Hawk Down … so can you really blame me? Either way, I shall sit here and wait expectantly for your reviews. You are going to review aren't you? Because you really don't want to imagine the disappointed look on Ghost's face if you don't right? :P
Price has taken over cookie baking duty too, which means all reviews get a hug from Ghost. :) It's a tough job, but someone has to do it…
And of course, in all seriousness, a big thank you from me for actually sticking with me this far. It really means a lot to me and my writing confidence. :)
-x-S-x-