Chapter 1

She grew up blaming him for all her mistakes- for the lamps she broke, the money she lost, the dresses she stained, the fights she picked- everything. But this time, she couldn't blame him. As much as she was tempted to, she couldn't blame him for being so smart, and so kind, and so nice, and for always being there for her when it really counted.

This time, she could only blame herself. Because this time, it was her fault alone. She was the one who noticed how smart and kind and nice he was, and how he was always there for her. She was the one who couldn't ignore these simple facts that built up such a complicated thing inside her heart. She was the one who messed up her whole world.

And now, she wanted to go back. She wanted to take the time portal and travel back to the times when she was an innocent little girl, back when this venomous snake hadn't raised its hood, back when her whole life hadn't been stained with poison.

But then again, a fear lurked at the back of her head- what if she messed up even more? What if she made things even more complicated? What if it went out of her control and she couldn't fix it?

Spells and potions were just a teleportation spell away, but she was never sure if doing a time reversal spell was a wise thing. So she was stuck with this broken piece of a life, stuck with this miserable sense of hopelessness.

"Hey." Her mother greeted at the breakfast table. "You seem unusually quite today. Is everything alright?"

She nodded, looking down at her plate, unable to look her mother in the eye and lie- another unusual behavior, which apparently went unnoticed by everyone.

Suddenly, she had this urge to look up at him and see how disappointed he was with her, but thanks to the guilt and shame of her confession, her eyes remained glued to her plate. Fear tore her apart. What if he was re-thinking and decided to tell their parents? What if she was sent away to a remote island, or jail, or asylum- what if she was sent away from everyone?

"I think she's scheming in her mind now." He proclaimed, fixing her with his usual glare, breaking through her barrier of thoughts.

Her eyes flickered to him in confusion, scanning his face for a mere five seconds to figure out how it was possible for him to act so normal after the great confrontation last day. And then she remembered what he had said- their parents must not know what was going on. Because that would shake them and that would break them, because that would hurt them to bleeding depths.

She left the table for the bathroom sink.

"You alright?" he asked, after watching her stare at her homework quietly for thirty minutes instead of throwing paper planes at his head.

She shook her head, not breaking the gaze from the bold letters in dull white paper that suddenly seemed like the most amusing thing in her life.

"Alex, you've got to get over it." His voice took on a tone of reprimanding, his eyebrows furrowed together in annoyance. "It's not such a big deal."

She looked up at him, for the first time that day, her eyes wide in a mixture of shock, disbelief and anger. "Not a big deal?" she yelled. "You think this is not a big deal, Justin?"

"It will go away." He yelled back.

She scoffed. "How do you know?"

"I know you, okay." He reasoned. "I know that you'll get over it, Alex."

She nodded, finally picking up her pencil and tapping it on the table, the first sign of impatience and Alex-ness she had shown the whole day. She really hoped that he was right, but then again, he was always right, so she was going to be normal again, wasn't she?

His eyes darted here and there, the corner of his mouth quivering slightly as he hesitated, but finally, heart won over brain. "I want my sister back." He stated tentatively.

Her head snapped up again in surprise. "You're not mad at me?"

"No." He offered her a weak half smile.

"You still wanna talk to me?" she asked incredulously.

He let the smile brighten through his face. "You're my sister, Alex."

Sister. She kept reminding herself. But every time he spoke to her, every time he looked at her, that thing in her chest was dancing, demanding to be unleashed and untamed. She was fighting this feeling inside of her, and it was winning, taking control of her slowly, inch by inch. Every day, her eyes remained locked on him for a few extra seconds, but now, it was bordering on minutes, and growing even more, the intensity of her gaze, the lust and longing in her eyes increasing as well.

And she hated herself.