I hope you all enjoy :) Review por favor
Nessie
I wake up unbearably cold. I want to stay in bed though, so I don't open my eyes. The memories of last night come flooding back. Jacob and I are no longer a couple. A lump forms in my throat and I try to push it down.
Suddenly it occurs to me that only one half of my body is freezing cold. I open up my eyes just to make sure I am not delirious. Mom lays curled against me in my bed. She stares up at the ceiling. Why is she here? Why is she freezing me?
"Oh you're up," she whispers when she notices my blinking eyes.
"Why are you here?" I ask rudely. The lump in my throat hasn't moved.
"You were crying in your sleep. I thought maybe you could use some company." The way she says it makes me feel guilty for treating her so badly. This could be her last day with me and the first thing I say to her is snide.
"Thank you," I reply softly. "For everything."
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks as she brushes a hair out of my eye.
"What's to talk about? You probably heard everything."
"A lot of times people say only some of the things they want to. I know there is more to your decision than you told Jacob. All I'm saying is that I am here if you want to talk about it."
She's being so sweet and motherly. I want to tell her everything. I long to spill my guts out all over the floor in hopes that she will pick them up and put them safely back in. But even I know that she can't. No one can fix this but me. And I am not going to back off the decision I made, no matter how bad it hurts. "Thanks, Mom. But I'm good," I lie. "I love you."
"I love you too, Sweetheart. Now you should probably start getting ready, everyone wants to spend some time with you before tomorrow." She stands so quickly that I almost miss it completely. She exits just as fast.
In a half hour, I am dressed and ready. I am also determined to not think about Jacob at all. This is my day to spend with my family. I will give them my full attention at all times. When I come upstairs, I notice that everyone is waiting around for me. They all have pained expressions on their faces. I'm scared again.
Uncle Jasper gets me first. We are scheduled to hunt together this morning. I'm not sure how the family came to an agreement about who gets me when, but I feel like they have a full itinerary made for the day.
We take off into the foggy forest at full speed. At least I am going full speed. When we come up on a bear, Jasper nods for me to take it down. I don't hesitate. When I hunt I lose all human instinct in me. I become a predator. I find that in the exhilaration of the hunt, I can shed my worry.
When I drain the bear of its blood, Jasper leads the way to an elk. He smoothly goes in for the kill. I haven't hunted with him in so long that I forgot what he is like. Watching him hunt is beautiful. His body is so fluid, so natural. It's like Jasper was made to be a vampire.
Once we both have had our fill of animal blood, Jasper stops at a small clearing. In the center of the treeless spot, a huge rock stands tall. Jasper jumps through the air and takes a seat on top. I follow because I know he wants to talk a little before going back.
As I sit there, breathing in the fresh air, all the human emotion comes leaking back in. Once again, I feel sad. I also feel worried, scared, and confused. I am a little confused when an overwhelming sensation of peacefulness comes over me, but then I remember Jasper's powers.
"Thanks Uncle Jasper," I sigh.
"It's no problem. Anything for the best niece in the world."
"If I ask you a serious question, will you be honest with me?" I ask. The question is already forming in my head.
"Of course."
"Do you think you stand a chance in this fight?"
Jasper seems to fidget the tinniest bit. His eyes are intense as he thinks about a good answer. With any other member in the family, I would know this hesitation is a bad thing. But with Uncle Jasper I know he is actually thinking it through. "I think we could win. But I also think we could lose." He pauses and stares into my eyes. "If your Mom can manage not to get injured, we stand a great chance. As long as we take out Alec and Jane first, we will do fine."
"Will there be lives lost?" I ask, flinching even as I say it.
"Well the winning side will be able to put their allies back together if any of them should get hurt. So as long as we win, none of the vampires will die."
"But the wolves," I say, still feeling nothing due to Jasper's hit of peace. "They might die."
"It's possible."
"You can't let them lead the lines!" I exclaim, bursting through Jasper's mood adjuster for a brief second. Immediately, I slouch back into the peacefulness Jasper wants me to feel.
"Nessie, Edward has forbidden any of us from telling you the details of the fight. I can't tell you how we will attack."
"But you'll protect Jacob, right?"
Jasper sighs and looks at me again with those piercing eyes. "I will be guarding your mom." I am both relieved and scared to know that Jasper will be protecting Mom. But what happens if Mom lives and Jacob dies? Will it be worth it?
"Thank you," I say because it's the only thing I can think of.
"We should be getting back soon," Jasper says, looking at his watch. "But before we go, I want you to know this one thing. I love you, Renesmee. You have made the last seven years so much more enriching. You're the best thing that has ever happened to this family."
"Thanks," I reply. I know I would be choking up if I could feel something other than serenity. "I love you too." Jasper nods once and hops off the rock, landing soundlessly. I follow suit and land just as softly. Soon we are speeding through the forest at impossible speeds. And I feel exhilarated.
Alice is the next one to have me. In typical Alice fashion, she drives me down to the mall where spend the day shopping. For once though, she allows me to pick out the things I want. Just like with Jasper, she spends the last few minutes of our time together telling me how much she loves me. This time I do cry. I really will miss them all when they are away.
I try to convince Aunt Alice to protect Jacob too. She also admits that she will be looking out for Mom and Jasper first and foremost. I'm scared that no one will look out for Jacob.
When we get back to the house, Emmett takes me out for some fighting. I fight harder than I ever have. I want to win so badly. I know that if I can beat Emmett, the family will have no choice but to let me come along. Unfortunately, no matter what I try, he's just too big and fast.
When I am too tired to continue, Emmett brings me out a blood bag. We sit together in the front yard as I drink up the blood. "You're getting stronger, Kid."
"Thanks," I reply when I can catch my breath. "You better come back," I add seriously.
"Of course I'm coming back! We're all coming back!"
"You're excited about this fight, aren't you?"
"Hell yes, I am," Emmett laughs. "I finally get to go up against some vampires that are equally matched. I'm totally gonna rip Felix to shreds."
I flinch. Emmett laughs heartily. "You're so confident."
He looks at me and winks. "I am always confident. It pumps me up, makes me stronger."
"Will you protect Jacob and the other wolves?" I ask, knowing the answer already.
"I will protect Bella first. She is the key to our success."
"So I've heard," I grumble. I sip the last of my blood, and stand. "Again."
"We can't," Emmett admits. "My time is up. But I love you, Kid." He wraps his huge arm around my neck and gives me a nuggie.
"Love you too," I laugh. It's impossible to not have fun with Emmett. He turns to go back inside, just as Rosalie comes out. She is holding car keys in her hand. I guess we are going somewhere.
Rosalie refuses to tell me where we are going. She drives quickly toward the other side of town. I am surprised when we stop at a nice car dealership. "A car?" I ask, confused.
"For you," she replies as we step out of her red corvette that she bought a few weeks back. "The one we buy today will be for you until your parents trust you again in a better one. For now you just get a mediocre car."
"A car's a car," I reply, though I know that is not true. I'm just happy to be getting a car at all.
It only takes fifteen minutes of walking around the lot for me to find the car I want. It is an all black Audi TT with black leather interior. The lights on the dash burn red. Basically, it is a sexy, sleek, and perfect car for someone my size. Some day I want a truck, but for now, this is great.
"You want this," Rosalie says with fake sarcasm. She knows that I have always liked Audi's. They are reliable cars that happen to be very attractive. And the TT is a great model.
"I do," I promise.
"We'll take it," Rosalie says to the car dealer. As we fill out the paper work, the guy almost has a heart attack because Rosalie pulls out enough money, in cash, the buy the car. He must think we are bank robbers or something.
Before going home, Rosalie pulls off into an ice cream shop parking lot. I follow in my new car which I have already named Dean after James Dean. I sit and eat ice cream as Rosalie promises her love for me. By now I want someone to say something very different.
"I love you too," I reply. "But I would love you more if you promise me that you will protect Jacob."
She smiles a dazzling grin and pats my hand. Her hand is just as cold as the ice cream. "I'll do my best to protect him and Bella. But you know, Nessie, he doesn't really need protecting. Jacob's a very good fighter."
"I don't care. I want him to be safe."
"I understand," she says as her eyes trail off. She must be thinking of Emmett.
By the time I am home, I just want to take a nap. It has been an eventful day. And yet, I have four more family members to spend time with. I know Mom and Dad will be last. Grandpa and Grandma team up to spend time with me. They take me down to the beach where we sit and watch the waves break against the shoreline.
It's a peaceful time for all of us. Unlike the rest of the family, Grandpa and Grandma do not fill the silence with words. Rather, they show me how much they love me by just being there. As I sit in the silence, I think about Jake. I know I said I wouldn't, but I can't help it.
I think about the pain in his eyes last night. I remember the way he kissed me. It was as if he knew it was the last kiss ever. And he still made it perfect. There was no resentment, no coldness. He is too perfect. And I let him go. What does that make me? Stupid. No, I refuse to believe that I am stupid. I did the right thing.
When it is time to go, Grandpa and Grandma both kiss me on my forehead. I hold them in the hugs a little bit longer than necessary. I think out of everyone in the family, they are the two that I would be most devastated to lose. It's probably because they are the foundation of the family. I can't even imagine a world without Grandpa's kindness and Grandma's compassion.
Once safely back home, I eat dinner as the full family watches. It's awkward, but comforting at the same time. This could be the last time we are all together. When I am done, Dad takes a seat at the piano. I sit down next to him.
We haven't played together in years, but now we do. We play everything from Mom's lullaby to the first song I ever wrote. I don't know how long we play, but it's got to be hours. The rest of the family slow dances or kisses gently to the melodies we make. It's a moment that I know I will remember forever.
At one point Mom comes and tugs Dad away. I continue to play as they swirl around the room. I play and I play and I play. And then finally, Mom stops and kisses Dad fully. When they break away, they look at me.
"Ready for bed" Mom asks with a hint of sadness. She is just as sad to see this moment end as I am.
"I guess," I sigh as I stand from the piano. She follows me into my room where I change and get ready for bed. Once I am firmly tucked in like a child, she asks me what I know she has been dying to since we got down here.
"So why did you do it?"
By it, she means break up with Jacob. "Because I had to. I can't trust him."
"That's not the only reason, is it?"
"It is," I lie. I really don't want to talk about this. Especially not to Mom. There is no way to tell her the real reason I dumped Jacob without offending her.
"When he comes back, because he will, will you take him back?"
I wish I was as confident as her. "No."
Her eyebrows knot as if she is genuinely perplexed. "You know, Renesmee, I could have your dad tell me the real reasons for this break up, but I want to hear it from you."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do. I want to be able to comfort you properly. I'm a mother; that's what we do."
"You can't make this better," I snap unintentionally.
"I can try."
"No! You can't!" I'm crying now. Mom pulls me into her arms and rocks me gently against her cold chest as I cry. As much as I hate to admit it, she is helping it. I know I can't tell her the reason for the break up without hurting her. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy her sympathy.
When the sobs soften and slow, Mom kisses the top of my head and squeezes me tighter. "Please tell me, Renesmee."
"I can't," I sob.
"Why not?"
"Because you're the reason."
She stops rocking, ceases all movement completely. "How so?" she finally asks.
I know that there is no turning back now. I have to explain to her what I'm feeling. This is going to be even harder than breaking it off with Jacob. "How did you respond when Dad left you?"
She looks at me as if she can't figure out the relevance yet. "I was torn up," she finally admits. "I become somewhat zombie-like until Jake helped me out of my depression. Why?"
I ignore her question and go on. "So you lost total control of your life without Dad?"
"I guess you could say that."
"Would you say that you felt like you couldn't ever be happy again without Dad?" She thinks this through. When she nods an affirmative, I know she is making the connection. "Mom, I don't ever want to be that girl," I say as nicely as I can. "I never want to rely so heavily on a man, that I lose sight of myself."
"So you broke up with Jacob to see how you could do without him?" she asks, now understanding.
"I broke up with Jacob to once again find myself. I need to face the fact that he could die. And even if he doesn't I need to know who I am before I can give him everything I have."
"Well, you're stronger than I ever was," Mom sighs into my head. "Are you sure you want this though?"
"I'm positive."
"Do you think you will ever have a future with him again?"
"I sure hope so," I admit as another tear falls. "You're not mad?"
"Of course not, Renesmee. I know that I was weak as a human. I'm glad you are stronger than me. I'm glad you know what's good for you."
"You don't think Jacob is good for me?"
"I can't answer that," she answers with sadness in her voice. "You know better than anyone else what you need."
"Mom?"
"Yes, Dear."
"Who is going to protect Jacob, if everyone is saving you?" I'm crying again.
Mom squeezes me tighter and kisses the top of my head. "I will protect him," she promises in all certainty. "I promise I will make sure he returns alive."
"Thank you," I sob into her soaked shirt. I'm not sure how long I cry, but eventually I fall into an exhausted sleep.