~chapter 41 people, just a few more chapters till the end, I'm really sad I really am. Things like this are hard to handle, like when schools over and your going into another year, even if you hate school its still sad, or that depressed feeling when you finish reading a book or game, its sad…love me and you "EYE ON YOU FRANCE"
I thought it was a dream, I thought it wasn't real
But pain really hurts and its really how I feel
Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears
I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears
I don't know what is happening, because you always held my hand
You said you would never let go, that is what I don't understand
So many promises you made, and more of them broken
Lost and confused, feels like I'm choking
A lot of things I did not say
Now I can't find my way
I feel like a boomerang, you throw me but not only that
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back
Back to you, back to pain
Nothing has changed your still the same
I can not start over because I don't know where to start
I guess that is what happens when someone breaks your heart
If we are suppose to follow our dreams, why can't I follow you
Because now I am so lost, I wish you were lost but not gone.
~Diana pov ~
A ~ lie~ that's what they been feeding me, they just don't want me to see him! He's just back at the capitol.
His not gone, he's still alive, there all delusional, gone completely mad like Maryanne!
There all liars, they no nothing—they just don't want me to be with him—they think he wont be a good enough father—well there wrong there very wrong—he's a wonderful man, why cant they see that?—all he ever done was show them kindness and respect and this is how they repay him?—making up some lie that he's dead?—they just kicked him out first chance they got!—how could my so called friends do that? And I was honestly thinking that they would be at my wedding!—don't they want to see me happy?—do they not want my baby to have a father?—what's wrong with them!
Twirling her engagement ring around her finger, she looked down at herself, prosaically her stomach. A large grin plastered on her face, thinking of the gender—boy or girl?" she thought.
She could picture a little boy, exact replica of his father holding out a book for her to read to him at night.
Her thoughts then switched over to a little girl, with cinna`s green eyes with hints of gold, a large grin on her face as she twirled in a blue dress acting like a princess.
Oh how cinna would love a either boy or girl just the same, they would soon settle down, maybe in the capitol?—or maybe go to help recreate district twelve and go have dinner with the mellark, and Haymitch—if he's sober. Or maybe four, the beaches and sun would be wonderful—or district two, maybe somewhere near Portia and cinna`s mother and sisters?—maybe spend some time with piper in eleven, along with seeing Megan twice a year—or maybe just once a year.
Oh can't forget Maryanne" Diana thought, chuckling to herself, she looked off to her right to stare at the finished wedding dress; she slowly stood up and walked slowly over to the finished garment and traced the silky smooth material with her fingers.
How she cant wait for when she gets married, walking down the isle to see her friends lined up on either side, smiling widely at her—or how she would be lead down in this dress—how she would be told she glowed with such beauty like all blushing brides—how the priest would stop and smile at me—the way Megan would be jealous of how she would be married first—or how wonderful the wedding would be—and when she gets at the end of the alter and given away, she would stare at the man of her dreams—and she would become misses. Diana pontmercy and have her own family—her hand started to shake, as sweat started to cover her body, she hunched over clinging onto her wedding dress as she sank to her knees.
I will—never—become…Diana pontmercy…or marry cinna…he's…gone" she whispered to herself like it was a sin.
And finally she let the tears flow.
~Maryanne pov~
Got a secret can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it in your pocket taking this one to the grave.
If I show you that I know you won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret if one of this is dead" Maryanne sang to herself, while she was in confinement.
She paid no attention when a nurse or doctor came in to check on her, she was lost in her mind, she felt self loathing how could she possibly lie to those around her for so long?
She could have done something! But that wasn't it—not at all, life here was so strange and different it scared her—what happened from all around, she was placed in this situation for what?—was it to change things? For not only herself but for others—but all she managed to do was get mags killed, maybe she saved wiress but she killed off Annie—and took the life of gloss, that would always haunt her—and now fin—finnick must hate her to…
Maryanne—Maryanne—Maryanne" wiress hade to repeat herself, for Maryanne to look at her. She stared blankly up at wiress, wiress didn't know why she was acting this way and Maryanne was ashamed to say she was glade for it.
She still had wiress and Jo, even if everyone else turned there backs but she also had piper and Diana along with Megan but they have there own lives, let alone her.
Piper would be going back to eleven or maybe even five, but she had a feeling that vulpix would be willing to move to eleven with her parents consent.
Diana would be going either back to the capitol, maybe somewhere else?
Megan she had no idea where she would be going, maybe she would stay here? Or maybe she would go to district one or two, she always said "bigger is better".
And where will she be? Would she even be cared for—missed even? Maybe Jo would like her to come live with her.
Maybe fin—finnick would pity her and help her settle in somewhere else, knowing very well that he wouldn't care anymore.
Maybe one day… he could forgive her for her lies. Maybe, maybe.
She heard muttering and raised voices in the corridors, and heavy stomping coming closer to the door, along with many voices having protest and some where they were arguing with.
The doors to her room banged open, her back was turned to them so it startled her greatly, and she didn't dare turn around, fear unexplainably taking over.
Sir the patient is in confinement, she is not supposed to be approached except for a select few" she could hear someone say.
I don't care" said another man, her blood ran cold knowing that voice that voice that captivated her of all her since of mined. The man that claimed his undying love to, him, him of all people.
Allow him entrance" she heard the order of not only katniss but Haymitch as well. There was a pregnant pause before the doors were shut.
There was a bubble of hope that he was gone, she couldn't face him she never thought she would have to, but that hope popped once she heard a pitter-patter of foot-steps drawing near.
The sound died down once it was right behind her, making her spine stiffen and her knuckles to press together till they turned white.
The silence stretched out in the room, her stomach felt like the skin and the contents inside would spill out.
She wouldn't speak unless spoken to, she was too afraid to say a word in fear of breaking what little courage and heart she held together.
Arms wrapped around her waist as a head was burred into the small of her back, she instantly out of reflexes that developed quickly over her time with fin—finnick were placed over his.
She knew this wouldn't last, so she kept the silence hoping that if god was merciful let him give her this one chance to be forgiven.
Fin—finnick i—Maryanne's speech was short lived as fin—finnick turned her around to face him, she found fin—finnick`s lips on her's as the kiss was deep and pertinent.
My little fish" fin—finnick mumbled against her sealed lips, as she absent mindedly relished in his embrace and touch and warm kisses.
I love you" he said again, pulling away for a moment before crashing his mouth back in place.
Maryanne's eyes grew wide as she fought against him, pulling and thrashing away at him.
STOP—little fish—STOP IT—Maryanne calm down love—STOP, STOP.
Maryanne was screeching by this point, startling fin—finnick making him go rigged in soul, his heart hurt seeing his little fish like this.
He let her go and watched as she shrank away from him, her eyes glazed over with tears pricking at the sides. Finnick`s own were grief filled, pain of seeing her like this, and anger at himself but some at her as well. He's hurting to, does she not see that?
A district thirteen doctor came into the room, placing a hand on finnick`s shoulder turning him away from Maryanne.
It's best if you leave the patient alone for now, she's still recuperating from the drugs along with therapy" the unknown man said, finnick flashed a sorrowful look at her, regret for not being able to stay pulling in his heart.
Taking Maryanne's shaking hands, he placed a kiss on each knuckle before she slowly walked out of the room, eyes trained on her the whole time till the doors closed.
~Diana pov~
Sitting on her bed, Diana stared longingly at her wedding dress, three days she been copped up in her room. Her food was brought to her, no one really paid attention to the rules anymore.
She was at a cross road, on the lines of believing that cinna was gone, and believing that he was still alive and they were just lying to her.
The door creaked open, shutting with a light bang—Diana's back was turned against it, as she just stared at the dress.
Go away piper" Diana said, piper been keeping a close eye on her lately.
Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart" Haymitch drawled, coming to sit beside her on the bed.
They just sat in silence, not saying a word till Diana said "what are you doing here" in a soft whisper.
I'm here to say get over it" he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW" Diana yelled at him, taking offence.
Haymitch waited till she settled down before continuing.
I know what its like Darleen, many people do, you anent the only one—I lost my family, and my girl and friends and that can hurt—but we find ways to cope" he said, letting his hands flop in his lap.
What like drinking" Diana laughed bitterly, silently crying on the inside.
We all have our ways on getting on, I'm not saying it's just going to just float away, but sweetheart it's going to hurt—but you got something to live for, that brat in your stomach wont come over and annoy me ever night otherwise" he said, in a half serious half joking manner that got a chuckle out of her.
I'm sad, but I'm heart broken because cinna won't get to meet our baby" said Diana, looking at her lap.
You have to ask yourself, what's best for me?—what's best for the baby?—and how cinna would think if he saw you right now?—he would want you to move on and be happy, and to live a good long life and take care of Haymitch jr." Haymitch said, grinning like a fool.
Haymitch jr. where that come from" Diana said, chuckling while wiping away tears that she hasn't realized were leaking out of her eyes.
Well that is if it's a boy—well you don't seem to be naming it so why not me" Haymitch said, making Diana chuckle some more.
I'll keep that in mind" she said, as Haymitch got up to leave.
Oh, and sweetheart if you need anything I'll be hear for you" he said, stopping at the door to look at her.
Thank you Haymitch" Diana whispered, and watched as he left.
~Maryanne pov~
Maryanne, you must understand you have done nothing wrong, nothing is your fault" doctor, Merope ivory said, she was nice in a strange kind of way.
I could of—done something" I told her quietly, not wanting to meet her eye or anyone's for that matter.
Miss Cadaver, there are a lot of us that wish to have done more, you're not alone in this" doctor Merope said, writing on her little notepad of hers.
But I could of done so much more" Maryanne rasped out, her stomach tighten, and she felt like she was sick and weak.
I know—NO YOU DON'T KNOW—I was in that arena, I watched as people died around me, I killed a person a living breathing human that was once a son, a brother, a child who grew up believing killing was ok—you don't have to face the horrors every night, you don't understand" Maryanne snipped her words, and glared angrily at the floor.
I see" Merope said slowly, she knew she was walking on egg-shells now.
You hold a lot of—guilt" Merope said, waiting to see Maryanne's reaction.
Yes—yes I do, I feel so—ashamed—I don't think I deserve—all this—all the-care your all showing me—or someone loving me" she said, her words hanging.
Does this have to do with a certain finnick odair" Merope asked.
he has done so much for me—I could never repay that—and his feelings—I do return them its just so—so—confusing right now" Maryanne said, not sure how to word this.
I'm sure he has, what are your thoughts on him" Merope said, sailing in smooth water. Not wanting to upset the patient, or weaken this cocoon of peace that has been dug.
I feel so safe around him, so—protected—happy—he-he makes me smile and laugh—and he's so sweet, and—I love him" she said, a slow smile making its way to her face.
Then why do you push him away" Merope inwardly saddens when the smile was replaced with tears, reaching over she offered a tissue which Maryanne accepted.
I—I don't feel like—I deserve him" she replied back to the question.
Miss cadaver—you know you deserve happiness as well as Mr. Odair, and you both make each other happy your both sadden and heart broken when your apart, your not sad about what you could of done—your sad, about lying to Mr. odair" Merope said, looking straight at her.
Maryanne looked at her hands, not really sure how to reply. Its true she felt terrible for keeping it from him for so long, giving him time maybe to think of a plan for the upcoming quarter quell, but to scared to see his reaction, so she kept it secret.
How do you know he's not happy without me" Maryanne asked.
He comes to therapy to" Merope said, it was true she was supposed to be deceit about other patients privacy, but this was needed to be shared. For there own needs.
Maryanne didn't reply, she never answered anymore questions so Merope called it a day.
Maryanne stood up to leave, heading back to her room of confinement—even if she could walk herself back or walk in the halls, she wasn't trusted to be alone. If an attack unexceptionally happened.
She walked in a corridor, and ran smack into someone's chest.
Oh, I'm so sor—her words were cut off when she looked straight up into fin—finnick`s face, he looked worn and tired and seemed to have lost weight.
Fin—finnick" Maryanne mumbled, not able to look at him in shame.
l-little fish" fin—finnick said, she saw his fingers twitch they seemed to want to reach out an touch her it seemed. And how right she was, when one came up to stroke her cheek, and she let him, while her eyes were trained on her bare feet.
I miss you" he whispered, as if he talked any louder she would run away from him.
I lied to you" Maryanne mumbled not meeting his eye.
And I don't care—I love you" fin—finnick said, a broken smile on his face.
Maryanne looked up shapely, meeting fin—finnick`s—his beautiful eyes.
How can you still love me?"—because I never stopped" Maryanne's eyes filled with tears, as she launched herself at him, grabbing hold of collar she brought him down for a kiss, which surprised him at first but soon reacted back.
I love you to fin" Maryanne whispered breathlessly as they came up for air.
I knew you couldn't resist" fin said, cheekily as Maryanne rolled her eyes and brought him down for another kiss.
~piper pov~
So were going into district two" piper said, looking at the small group of twelve.
Yes, there the only one's who are resisting still brainwashed by the capitol" Johanna mason said, making circular motions around her head.
How are they holding off" she said, looking at vulpix who was working on the screen computer.
Take a look for yourselves" she said, bring up a live fee, of what's happening in two on the big screen.
There was a battle ground, people being shot down on both sides.
This is madness" beetee said, raising his spectacles to get a better look.
Its war, what did you excepted Sunday brunch" enobaria said, giving a shark grin that scared beetee obviously.
No" beetee defended himself.
Back on topic" katniss said, waving a hand which seemed to annoy Megan who was sitting next to primrose, but she held her tongue thankfully.
When should fight them from the inside out, seeing as they just push us out again since were attacking from the sides" Diana said, as she sat on haymitches left side, with Johanna mason on her other.
That could work" beetee backed her up.
Fighting on the inside I mean, it worked before why not now?
Sounds good to me" Haymitch said, looking around for any objections and found none.
We need a small group that can get around easily but enough were they could hold there own and not be suspicious.
So any volunteers" Haymitch said, waving his hand around.
Johanna, and enobaria's hands shoot high in the air, before he could even say volunteer, soon we had a small group of six made up of megan, katniss, enobaria, Johanna, vulpix and myself.
Nice, now you girls get in and out once we give you the signal to leave do you hear me" Diana said; rage twisted on her face…yep she's pregnant alright, Hormones kicking in already.
Yes maim" Megan said sarcastically, giving a mock salute.
Oh, ha-ha very funny" Diana said sarcastically.
You just make it to easy" Megan said, smoothly.
Just go and get your pretty face on already" Haymitch said, stepping in so there would be no blood shed.
We were dismissed; as I turned a corner I saw the most heart felt sight I ever seen. Thresh sat with the girls while, wick was talking to Meredith not to far away. Playing Miss Mary Mack with the girls, rue had poppy, as jinx had quill as they teaches thresh how to play. It was cute, a big fellow like himself taking the time to do something like this with little kids.
Hey my little dumplings I said, once I got close enough for them to hear. Rue's eyes landed on me as she shot up to come and elopes me into a huge.
I missed you to" I chuckle out, stroking her hair.
Were playing Miss Mary Mack can you play to? Please, please, please.
Fine, fine ill play" I said, walking with her over to the others.
Now sit here" she said, sitting right next to thresh as my heart speed up. Did he still hate me?
We watched at the girls played on, as we sat in silence.
I'm sorry, for keeping things a secret" I whispered over to him, not wanting the girls to hear. He didn't reply for a few seconds, or right away but he did eventually.
I can see why you did, it must have been hard for you" he said, looking over at me.
In some ways it was, it was scary for the most part but I had them" I said, gesturing towards rue and the others.
You're a good person, and that's all that matters with me" thresh said, getting a grin on his face similar to the one when I stole Cato's knife during training.
So were all good, still friends and all" I said, holding out my hand for him to shake.
Still friends" thresh said, taking it and we shook hands.
~time skip~
Did I ever tell you how I thought chickens were only good to eat? Well dressing up as one was sure out of the question.
I stared down at my self as we walked down the street of district two, and boy did the fashion sense change.
Bright yellow feathers, making up the dress with a slip on silk yellow dress underneath just incase they fall off. Bright red heels with a red chocker and headband with spikes, yep I hate myself.
But I think Johanna had it worse, she was in a minny dress that didn't go but below her but, covered in rubes and a split down her chest barley covered by a few thin straps with a sparkly red headband and matching shoes.
Meagan on the other hand looked at her in jealousy, seeing as she looked like a brick wall, with matching shoes and garnet in her hair.
Katniss well looked like katniss in her red dress with tight fitted slacks underneath.
Our job is to navigate the rebel ships were to land, were there is a safe landing point, sounds easy enough right?
These heels are killing me" vulpix mumbled over to me, I looked down at feet that were high heeled boots; her costume was from district ten, you know were they raise live stock, she had pants on that was black and white like a cow, a brown under shirt and jacket with horns popping out of the shoulders.
Live with it, I'm forced to look like a chicken" I say back to her.
Hey we match cow and chicken" she giggles back at me, and I couldn't help but laugh as well thinking of that cartoon cow and chicken.
Enobaria looked well in her's a gold dress that was made to look like a candle stick holder, with twisted fabric wings at the back, I wish I was wearing that instead.
So do you know where we're heading?" I questioned over at her, as she gave me a slight nod.
Its going to be right above the justice building, no one is guarding it so we might be safe we're not a hundred percent sure" she whispered back.
I gave a nod in return telling her that I heard, I just hope this works I thought to myself.
As we approach we walk calmly inside pretending like we belong, its true what Haymitch said during his hunger games.
"They maybe strong but there still stupid" chuckling to myself, we reached communications.
Well isn't this a nice surprise, how are you" Haymitch sarcastic voice rang loud and clear, from the end of our ear pieces.
Oh just dandy, you know being in a district that wants to kill us and all" vulpix said back mockingly.
Ok, ok is it safe to land?
Yes, no enemies in sight" vulpix said back.
Ok, I'll give the all clear—the line went dead.
They will be here shortly, now what" I said, turning to the others.
Wait" was Megan's simple reply.
That's it? We just wait" I said, looking at them in shock.
That's it—
And we waited in silence.
A humming then was heard over head, signaling that they arrived.
Best be going, if you don't want to be shot" Johanna said, kicking off her heels as the rest of us, except for enobaria seeing as she was wearing flats.
We ran up the staircase winding our way to the top, to see a fleet of rebellion ships over head, but a cannon like blast shot one down.
Looking off towards the east were the shot had came from, we saw a base not to far away… how could we miss this?
We wouldn't be able to take the district at this point if we don't take out that base, but every time we went to take it down they were just shooting down.
What do we do" I yelled over the noise, as I plugged my ears.
I stared wide eyed at our group of five—five—five—one, two, three, four, five but no six—Johanna, enobaria, katniss, vulpix, myself but no—megan.
~Megan pov~
Ever get that feeling that you been held underwater and someone tells you to breath easy for awhile.
Well even I know that you're going to run out of air eventually. Climbing up a rope up towards a rebel ship was never how I pictured myself, heck I didn't even think till half a year ago that I was going to be sucked in an alternant universe either or that my parents would get a divorce or my little sister holly at the age of twelve would be dead… climbing threw the hatch that lead into the rebel ship was more then an accomplishment.
Making her way to the cockpit where the master controls for the ship was, she banged in where an old man that looked around the age of what? Seventy? Seventy-eight? At, no copilot.
Why isn't there a copilot?" Megan tried to make light conversation, as she sat at the empty seat taking on the duty.
He jumped, along with most of the rest landed somewhere north-east of here, guessing they were too scared of being shot down and blown up" the old man chuckled, he was a nice man.
Names woody by the way" he said, giving her a fatherly smile, which she gave him a warm one in return.
Megan" was her reply as they steered the ship.
We can't take them down like this" woody said a grime look on his face.
I know, we can't reach them in time to bomb them, and soon we would be shot down like the rest" Megan replied.
We could always ram them" Megan said, a stone expression on her face.
Girly, I think you should get out of here, a girl like yourself has much to live for then me, my days are over you on the other hand have much to live for" woody said.
No—I think I'm going to stick around" Megan said, looking over at him to give him a sad smile.
Alright girly, see you when we crash land and blow up" woody chuckled well heartedly.
They sent themselves forwards, and the on slate of missiles came forwards towards them managing to kill there engine.
You know woody I have some regrets—for not being there for my family, as I just pushed them away—not being there for my sister when I could have—say sorry to those I haven't before—and—I cant think of anything else right now" megan said, screwing up her face trying to think of something else she regretted.
I regret not being there when my wife died—but you got to think of the good things not the bad, that's the key" woody said, looking straight ahead.
Thank you woody" Megan said a wide smile on her face.
Your welcome" woody said, a smile of his own.
For everything—then they crashed land making an explosion as they took out the base.
~well how do you feel, my favorite part was with Diana when she was thinking of her dream life, and when Haymitch came to talk to her… review, eye on you France… mere888~ the works.