Chapter 4

He was finally sick of all these- this crying, this running away, this hurting, everything. It was time he had a talk with her. "Alex…"

She sat on her bed, texting someone, never once looking up at him. Not looking at him was the best way to ignore his presence. She knew that if she looked into his eyes even once, she'd drown in them, sinking back to her miseries, and all will be lost.

He invited himself inside, closed and locked the door behind him, and sat down on her bed. "You need to snap out of this Alex. Don't you think it's been going on too long?" he asked softly, waiting for her to answer. When she didn't, and kept pretending as if she hadn't even heard him, he gently placed a hand on her back.

She jerked up at the burning sensation of his touch. "What do you want Justin?" she snarled, smacking him hard on the chest with full force, and breaking down into tears.

He blinked, taken aback by this sudden demeanor, and finally recomposed himself, rubbed her back, stroked her hair, whispered soothing words into her ears. "It's okay."

She pulled back at that. Nothing was okay, and his lies were making anything okay either.

He sighed. Alex and logic were born enemies, but if he could just make her listen to her head instead of her heart, this thing would probably go away. "Think about this, Alex, please." He pleaded, taking her hand in his gently. "I'm your brother. Nothing will change that fact. This will always be wrong…. If this was some other guy, maybe he would have loved you back after some months or years, but I? I can never ever ever love you Alex."

She let out a sob at that, snatching her hand away from his, and scooted to the farthest part of the bed, covering her face in her hands and breaking down.

He really wanted to console her, but he knew it'd hurt her even more. The only thing he could do was walk out, leaving her crying, and even though it hurt his heart, that was what he did.

And so she was left alone with the possible options. Run away? Die? Cry? Starve? Or just fight, just keep trying?

He jerked up when he turned around and suddenly saw her standing in his doorway. Her hair was hanging in loose, messy curls, her make-up was a smudge of black and brown, her face dark, her eyes red, her nose pink and swollen.

His eyes automatically shot her a guilty look. "Alex…"

"I thought about it Justin." She said, and he held his breath, "and here's what I decided. I will keep loving you Justin, no matter what. Now it's up to you whether you'll ever love me back or not." Her voice dripped with a strange and dangerous mixture of pain and determination, She walked away quickly, before he could even reply.

He stood speechless, blinking and comprehending what she said. Why did the one who loved him so much that to be his own sister? Why did his own sister have to love him so much? Why was she stubborn? Wouldn't this thing go away? Would they be stuck like this forever?

He sighed, lying down on his bed. This sick disgusting feeling was starting to make him feel sick. How long would this sick game go on? And what was he going to do?

It hurt. It hurt every single fiber in her body to force herself to walk away from him. It hurt every single nerve of her body to keep the smile off her face when she saw him. It hurt so much to keep her eyes off him, to pretend that she didn't love him, that she was moving on.

And it hurt to see that he did not reciprocate these feelings, that he was leaving almost happily, almost unaffected by any of these. Sure, he was guilty, he was sad, he was worried about her, he wanted her to feel better, and all that big-brotherly stuff. But he wasn't the one in unrequited love. It didn't hurt him as badly as it hurt her. He didn't feel like death was the only escape, like his life was useless, aimless, and only full of pain, pain, pain, and pain. She was the one in this situation. Sometimes she wished she wasn't even born.

And now she had had enough of this. Enough of being the only one suffering. He was the reason why she was suffering, and he had to feel the pain too.

He. Will. Have. To. Love. Me. Back.

She scribbled the words into her skin with the magic marker.