A/N: Another one shot from me. Title based on a McFly song. At least the "Bullets" part. If you've read my other AoS one-shots, you've probably guessed it's "Lies" xD. Hope you like it!
Bullets and Compassion.
"You weren't weak, you had compassion. That's harder." —Phil Coulson.
At first, Skye didn't take his words seriously. She had been weak. She had saved him. If she'd killed him, it would've been better. Better for everyone. One less HYDRA agent on the way. And not just any HYDRA agent. A traitor. The one that had befriended them, before stabbing them in the back. Skye was furious at him, and not just for betraying them, or trying to kill her, or leaving them stranded.
She was furious at him for hurting her family. For taking their home away. For breaking her family.
Coulson's team had become her family, the Bus her home. And now she realised her family had been broken from the start. Ward was like the black sheep of the family, betraying them, and even worse, backstabbing them and stealing their fucking house from them. Because the Bus was like their house, even though it was a plane, and now they were staying at some random hotel, using aliases, like "Pablo Jimenez".
She'd walked away when she'd heard that name. It was too painful. She'd spent her whole life hiding, and now, when she'd thought she wouldn't have to anymore, they were hiding. This time, all of them. They were fucking fugitives, because everyone thought S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA were the same, all agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. were HYDRA agents.
It made her hate generalisations.
Your words are like bullets,
And I'm the way your weapons aim.
—"Lies," McFly.
As she stared at Ward's picture on her laptop, she realised she wasn't just angry. She was sad, and hurt as well. Obviously. She'd thought she'd never feel that way again, not after she got out of the foster system. She'd grown up with people rejecting her, all of those feeling like she was being stabbed.
No, not stabbed. More like shot. And this was the same.
First bullet: S.H.I.E.L.D. destroyed, just when she'd finally become an agent, when she'd officially gained her place in the organisation, and she wasn't an outcast anymore.
Second bullet: Ward being a HYDRA agent.
Third bullet: Him taking her away from her family when they got on the Bus.
Fourth bullet: Sending Deathlok after her.
Everything was like a bullet. Coulson having to come and fucking rescue her was another bullet, because it reminded her that at least he cared about her, at least the rest of the team did. Even Lola's fucking crashing felt like a bullet, Deathlok shooting at them and everything.
But the last bullet on the list, was also the most powerful, the one that had hurt her the most. A bullet to the heart: Ward insisting his feelings for her were real.
That was the final straw, she knew she could never forgive him after that. Specially when his defence arguments were "It wasn't personal" and "I was on a job".
That's when it hit her. After all he'd done to her (minus Lola crashing, because that came after), she didn't kill him. She had compassion.
That was when she finally understood the meaning of Coulson's words.
That was when she realised he had been right.
It was harder after all.
Are you fucking happy
Now that I'm lost, left with nothing?
—"Happy?", Mudvayne.