So I'm treating you guys to two more chapters today than I originally planned on. You deserve it for waiting!
Bella
It's been over a month since Jacob left and Renesmee is still not doing as well as I would hope. Then again, she's doing a hell of a lot better than I did when Edward left me. She goes to school and hangs out with Lizzie and Seth. On the outside she appears to be a normal teenager really.
It's the inside that worries me though. Edward says she thinks about Jacob endlessly as if putting herself through pain because she likes it. She obviously has inherited some of her father's masochistic tendencies. I'm not really sure how to help her. She never lets the pain take over her calm reserve.
The only outwardly sign that she is not in perfect emotional health is her smile. When she smiles her lips turn up and her teeth gleam, but there is always something missing. It took me a few days to realize that her smile never actually meets her eyes. Her once beautiful brown eyes are now blank and dead.
Her interest in the details of the fight really confuses me as well. She likes to ask me about the sounds of vampire skin tearing and painful screams. She also has a particular interest in the way the half-breed boy killed himself when his whole family died. I worry that she was contemplating suicide while we were gone, but I'm afraid to ask. Edward says she hasn't demonstrated any suicidal tendencies in her mind. Even so, I worry.
When we first returned, Renesmee struggled with her thirst. After some close encounters with some kids at school she took a two days off of class and reverted her diet to only animal blood. Since then she has even cut down on that. Her strength and agility has slowly dwindled back into the human realm. According to Edward she hates her vampire side because it brought her all the problems we went through as a family.
She also partially blames herself for the five wolves and three vampires we lost on that day. Even though she barely knew any of them, she hates the fact that they died fighting for her. Edward and I have tried talking some sense into her, but she won't listen. We've tried everything we can possibly think of.
A small vibration from the phone in my pocket breaks me from my thoughts. I know who is calling. He calls everyday at this time. Every day I make sure I am far enough from Renesmee so I can take the call in peace. I hate hiding things from her, but this is important.
"Hey Jake," I say when I answer the phone.
"Bella," he sighs. Since he left Jake's voice has lost any happiness it once possessed. It constantly sounds like he has a cold. "How is she?"
"Same as yesterday," I admit. "I'm worried about tomorrow though."
"Why? What's tomorrow?"
"Valentine's Day," I answer. Jake stops breathing on his side of the line. I guess he totally forgot. "Are you going to be ok tomorrow?"
"Sure, sure."
"Edward and I are going up your way for a date. Would you like us to come by?"
"No," Jake says forcefully. "You will ruin all the progress I've made."
"So you still haven't phased?"
"Nope. Neither has Leah. It's a painful process to go through, but totally worth it, I think."
"Renesmee has stopped drinking blood. I guess you are both dealing by ridding yourselves of your inhuman traits."
"I guess so," Jake replies. "Does she have a date for tomorrow?"
"No. One of the girls at school is throwing a party for all the single students. She is going to that."
"Do you think she is ever going to take me back?" Jake asks with anger lining his voice.
"I don't know," I admit. "I hope so."
"What if she doesn't? What happens to me?"
"I don't know, Jake," I reply.
"I kissed Leah yesterday," Jake suddenly states.
"And?"
"It was not a smelly as kissing you, but just as dead."
"Nothing there?"
"No spark at all," Jake replies. "I don't think I will ever feel anything for a girl ever again."
"Well just give Renesmee time. She could still change her mind. I think she will."
"I gotta go," Jake says in his usual way. He always cuts our conversations short. It's as if he can't take it. It hurts too much to think about her for longer than a few minutes a day.
"I know. Bye Jacob. Be safe."
"Bye, Bells. Have fun on your date tomorrow." I hang up the phone and wait for Edward. He always comes around when we are done talking. Sure enough, he comes bursting through the line of trees surrounding me.
"He ok?"
"Same as always," I reply. Edward takes me in his arms and kisses me passionately. I pull away before we end up on the ground for the next few hours. "I love you."
"I love you too, Bella."
"But we should go check on Renesmee," I add. Edward smiles his crooked one and stands up. I come up with him. Soon we are running hand-in-hand toward the house to be good parents for our daughter.