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Chapter 9:
Elizabeth walked in to find John gimping back into bed. Having apparently gotten sick of the wheelchair he decided to try walking over to the bathroom and back, bearing weight on his badly sprained ankle. Elizabeth just sighed, the man was incorrigible! John looked up when his doors opened, stopping in mid gimp, and smiled sheepishly, his cheeks turning red.
"Should you be doing that?" she asked.
"No, but what Carson doesn't know won't kill me." John replied smiling, still trying to get to his bed. He looked tired and in pain but he didn't seem to want help so Elizabeth just stood there patiently, waiting for him to get to his bed. "So, you wanted to discuss Ford?" John prompted.
"Yes, has Carson told you about what he has found?" she asked as he gently lowered himself onto the bed.
"He told me that Ford's blood tests were negative." John said, his tone indicating he thought there was more to it. He still sat on the bed, looking like he didn't want to be laying in it even though Elizabeth was sure it was more comfortable for him to do so.
Elizabeth walked over to John's bed and began to fluff the pillows. She had some nervous energy and she need to do something to expel it and they look like they needed fluffing. "He has also discovered that Lt. Ford's organs are shutting down without the Enzyme to keep them going." She said while John uncomfortably and stiffly tried shifting back against the now fluffed pillows.
He immediately froze mid scoot when she told him that. "What?" he asked, his face revealing shock and concern.
She nodded, still standing in case he needed help getting settled. "Yeah, he said that since Ford's body has been dependent on the Enzyme so long it has begun to shut down with out it. He believes he may be able to come up with a formula that will help prevent that but he isn't sure." She paused, letting the information sink in slightly before she continued. "Carson said that it may not be possible to come up with a solution without including the Enzyme."
John looked up at her from his position on the bed, "So his choice is to stay on the Enzyme and be crazy or stay off it and die? What kind of a choice is that?" he raged at no on in particular.
"The only one we've got for right now." She replied calmly, "Carson doesn't know what Ford will choose but he seems to think the Lt. would rather die than go back on the Enzyme."
"Not if I can help it!" John argued. His prone form on the bed in no way taking away from the anger that emanated off him.
"I know you want to save him and help him John but I think you may have to accept that there's nothing you or Carson can do. The decision will ultimately be up to him." She said imploringly. "Either way I think you'll have to come to terms with the fact that, one way or another, the Aiden Ford you knew is dead." She hated being so harsh and blunt but she didn't really want him getting his hopes up only to be disappointed (and probably crushed) when things don't turn out the way he thought they would.
John slowly sat up to look at her, grimacing with pain. "No. I will not accept that yet until we know for sure that it's too late." He told her, his eyes cold and hard with determination, defiance and anger. "You of all people should know that there is always a solution. How many times have we, all of us including the city, been saved with last minute, desperate solutions? No," he said while trying in a shallow breath, "I will not give up, no matter how much everyone else does."
Elizabeth sat down in the chair next to his bed. "John, I am not giving up on him just like I never gave up on you when you had the Iratus Bug on you."
John grimaced, "I thought we agreed we weren't going to bring that up again?" he reminded her, his left hand going to the spot on his neck where the bug had attached itself to him.
"Sorry." She said semi-smiling. "Still, I am not giving up on Lt. Ford, I just want us to remain a little realistic." She told him, her eyes sincere and her hand on his arm. She could feel him trembling, whether it was from emotion, pain or cold she didn't know. "Are you cold?" she asked, hoping to be able to breach the subject without directly asking him.
He grimaced slightly, "A little, I'll be alright for right now." He said. She stood up and grabbed an extra blanket then laid it out over him. "Thanks." He said. He wasn't actually cold but he wasn't going to tell her that. John knew she could feel the tremors in his muscles but he wasn't going to admit that it was because he was exhausted and hurting from getting up and walking around. Not the world's best idea he chastised himself At least it's 'Lizabeth here instead of Carson.
Elizabeth sat back down and studied him for a moment taking in the dark circles under his eyes, the pain lines on his face and his sickly pallor. "Well," she said as she stood up, "I should let you rest." She told him, figuring that his little exercise of freedom took a lot out of him.
He picked up his hand and waved it at her, "No, M'ok." He said groggily, desperately trying to keep his eyes open. "You can stay if you want." Even though he'd never admit it, he actually liked having company around. Waking up with someone in the room made it easier to chase the demons that tormented him in his sleep away.
She must have sensed his desire because she sat back down. "Alright, I'll stay, but you need to rest." She told him, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze before she tapped her radio to let Chuck know that she was off duty for the night.
He smiled sleepily, "Thanks 'Lizabeth." He told her right before he fell asleep.
She smiled back, "You're welcome John." She whispered as she sat back and watched him sleep peacefully.
The next day Major Lorne, Elizabeth, Carson, Ronon and Rodney sat in the conference room with their radios activated on the same private channel. Teyla and John were in his room with Torren, their radios connected on that same private channel. Carson had refused to let John out of his room (or even his bed) for the meeting so they all came up with broadcasting the meeting on a secure channel so that Teyla and John would not be left out of the decision making and the conversation.
"Alright, as you all know, we are here to discuss Lt. Ford's test results." Elizabeth said officially bringing the meeting to order. "Carson, what can you tell us?" she asked even though they both knew that she and Colonel Sheppard already knew.
Carson sat up a little straighter, his arm no longer in the sling and resting on the table. "Right, well I have reviewed the results and as I'm sure all of us already knew, he is no longer on the Enzyme." He began. "That's the good news. The bad news is that it is also killing him." He said bluntly, knowing it was the better way to go.
"Killing him? Killing him how?" Rodney asked.
"His body has become dependent on the chemical, without it his body is slowly shutting down. I believe it started the last day or so that he was taking the drug." He said. He wasn't surprised to see that while they were shocked, they weren't overly concerned. Most had accepted that the Aiden Ford they knew had died many years ago and weren't too crazy about allying themselves with him.
It saddened Elizabeth to see how little the news affected her friends (knowing how far out of their lives Aiden had fallen) but she was glad that John wasn't there in person to see it even though she suspected that he already knew he was the only one who cared. She knew Carson cared but she guessed it was only because he was caring from a Doctor/Patient standpoint. "Alright, what do you suggest?" she asked him.
"I think we should go back there and tell him what we've found chances are he'll already know. I believe he is feeling the effects but he was hiding it." Carson said.
"I agree." John said. "I think we should go back to Adora and offer to help him."
"And by "we" I assume you mean that figuratively Colonel." Carson warned.
"Of course doc." He replied sarcastically.
"I'm not sure I'm all that crazy about the idea of bringing him back to Atlantis." Elizabeth said knowing full well what John meant by offer to help.
"Aye I tend to agree with ya Elizabeth but we are to help the Lt. he will need to come back here for us to do so, even if it is just so I can run more in-depth tests." Carson told her.
Elizabeth sighed knowing that Carson was right. "Alright, Major Lorne, you, your team, Carson and I will go back to talk to Ford." She told him before turning to the others, "Ronon, Rodney and Teyla, you are all welcome to come but do not have to." She said knowing very well that Rodney would not go.
"Thank you Dr. Weir, but I believe I will stay here." Teyla responded.
"So will I." Ronon said.
John sighed heavily over the radio, clearly frustrated. "Damn it! Doc are you sure I couldn't go and just stay on the Jumper? I swear, I won't move the entire time." He pleaded. Elizabeth could tell that he was upset with his team, and friends, for not going and therefore wanted to be there himself.
"No lad, I'm sorry. You are in no condition to be going anywhere." Carson told him firmly. "Never mind getting you into the Jumper, the trip wouldn't be pleasant for you with your injuries."
"Damn it Carson! I should be going. We all know that I'm the ONLY one who actually cares about Ford enough to want to save him." John said, apparently unable to keep his frustration to himself. His comment brought on uncomfortable and guilty looks from everyone.
"Now lad, that's not fair. We all want to help the Lt." Carson said.
"No Carson, you don't. YOU want to help because you feel it's your duty as a doctor. The only reason Major Lorne is going is because Elizabeth told him too (and I would've ordered him to) and the main reason Elizabeth is going is because she feels like she has to!" He said, his voice sounding calm but the fury beneath it was palpable.
"John, you must stay in bed." Teyla's concerned voice came over the radio.
"To hell with that," John replied annoyed, "I want all of you to look me in the eye and tell me that you actually care about helping Ford." He told her and them, knowing full well that they wouldn't be able to do it even IF he managed to get to the conference room which wasn't very likely.
"Colonel you get back in that bed right now before I come down there and sedate you!" Carson yelled, surprising all those around him and a few in the gate room. They had never really heard the mild mannered doctor yell that loudly before, especially at the Colonel.
"Carson, I am not getting back in bed until all of you can tell me why you are so willing to let a man die." John replied, his voice quiet but deadly.
"John, you really must sit down." Teyla's semi-panicked voice came over the radio.
"Teyla, what's going on?" Elizabeth asked.
"Nothing!" John immediately responded.
"Colonel Sheppard is currently making his way to his door but he is having problems staying upright due to lack of support." Teyla responded.
"I would have support if you'd help me." He retorted
"I am sorry John, but I will not help you injure yourself by walking around. If you would like help getting back into bed, then I will be more than happy to assist." She told him coolly.
John just snorted, "Fine." He said. They assumed that he began walking again because he was panting heavily now.
"Damn it!" Carson growled furiously as he sprang up and ran out the door. "Colonel, get back in bed now before you hurt yourself." They heard him roar into the radio, puffing slightly to keep his jogging pace.
The group in the room all had remorseful, concerned and scared looks on their faces. They knew why John was so angry right now, he felt betrayed by them and he wanted them to admit it to his face even if that meant causing himself more harm.
"Colonel Sheppard, get back in bed." Elizabeth told him trying to put on her most commanding voice. Then turning her attention to them all she continued, "I think we should all continue this in Colonel Sheppard's quarters." She suggested not wanting this to be broadcasted over the radio any more, even if it was on a secure channel.
That's when they heard the chatter on the other end of the radio. "Colonel, get back in bed." Carson's angry voice growled.
"We've already had this discussion doc." John replied sounding tired, in pain and annoyed.
"Teyla luv, will you grab his left side? Be careful of his ribs though." Carson requested.
"Guys," came John's growled warning, grunting when they helped him back to bed which pulled on his injuries.
"No Colonel, you need to be in bed and rest. I don't care how angry ya are or how fine you feel, you WILL stay in this bed or I will take you down into the infirmary, put restraints on you (as best as I can) and sedate you until next month!" Carson growled back before he continued to swear to himself in Gaelic. "Elizabeth, I think we need to continue this meeting without the Colonel and Teyla." He told her.
"No!" John protested then groaned when he apparently hurt himself by doing so.
"I'm sorry Colonel, but if you're going to respond so violently to the meeting then you won't be allowed to participate." Carson told him not sounding the least bit sorry.
"It's ok Carson, I believe we're done." Elizabeth told him before she turned to Major Lorne. "Make sure your team is ready to go by 9am tomorrow morning." She told him. A dismissed was clearly stated afterwards even if she didn't say it and Lorne nodded, got up and left to inform his team.
Ronon, Rodney and Elizabeth all headed straight to John's quarters to join the rest of the team. They got there and were surprised to notice that the doors did not open, even after they chimed.
"John, please let us in." Elizabeth said just as the doors opened with Teyla by the console.
Rodney was the first to storm in, "Sheppard what the hell do you think you're doing?" He raged, "You could have broken your ankle or punctured a lung! You wouldn't be much good to Ford with a punctured lung now would you?"
"Rodney, calm down." John pleaded, his voice hoarse with pain and exhaustion. He was currently lying in bed, much as he usually is, propped up against several pillows with his ankle elevated on 2 more pillows. He had head leaning back against a pillow with his eyes closed. There were more definite pain lines on his face and his brows were furrowed with it. Elizabeth felt for him but she also couldn't shut the voice inside her that said It's his fault! up.
Rodney seemed oblivious to the pain his friend was in as he continued yelling. "NO! I will not calm down, what were you thinking getting up and trying to walk when you know you can't? What possible point could you have hoped to prove by doing it?"
"Rodney!" Carson's voice rang out. He had been examining John to make sure he didn't injure himself any further and no one had noticed him as they all had been concentrating on his patient. "I am not happy with what the Colonel did either, but if you continue to yell I will kick your butt out of this room myself and I well tell Atlantis never to permit you in here again. Do you understand?" he scolded the scientist as quietly as he could, knowing John had another bad migraine. Bloody ancient devices! Colonel Sheppard has yet to find one that hasn't given him a migraine for a few days after using it.
Rodney opened his mouth to argue but he noticed that Carson would truly kick him out. Then something Carson said caught his attention, "Since when can you talk to Atlantis?" he asked still rather loudly.
"Rodney," John rasped, "I don't mind if you talk but could you please do so quietly?" he asked while massaging his temples.
"Oh sorry," Rodney replied finally realizing that John wasn't feeling well and becoming a little more sympathetic. He turned to Carson, "So, since when have you been able to talk to Atlantis?" he repeated his question only quieter.
Carson just rolled his eyes, "I've always been able to talk to her Rodney. I'm just not as adept at it as Colonel Sheppard. Besides, I think she rather prefers him over anyone on this expedition." He replied.
"So that's how you always seem to know when I need something!" John said, realization finally coming to him.
"Aye, Atlantis will tell me when you're hurting or needing something while you're in the infirmary. Though, I will say that some of it is my own doing too. You're not as hard to read as you might think Colonel." Carson quipped.
John just laughed, grimacing when red-hot pain ignited through his side. Okay so maybe trying to walk to the conference room wasn't a good idea. He conceded to himself.
"How are you feeling John?" Elizabeth asked.
"Fine," John replied even though he didn't sound fine. "a little foolish and tired but fine."
They all rolled their eyes at his response. They could tell that he was hurting and more than tired but they left him be for the moment.
"Hey, guys? I'm sorry for my outburst. I shouldn't have reacted that way." John said, though not sounding totally convinced. He sounded more embarrassed than apologetic.
"Aye, you're right, you shouldn't have." Carson reprimanded. "However, I will wait until you're feeling a wee bit better to yell at you further. For now, you need to rest. I'll have someone bring you some lunch here in a couple of hours." He told the clearly exhausted Colonel.
"No, I'm ok, just got a headache." John replied still keeping his eyes closed.
"Rest, John. We will come back later." Teyla responded, holding on to a quiet Torren.
Elizabeth, Ronon, Rodney and Teyla all left, saying their good byes. Carson stayed in case John needed something. Once again, he pulled out his computer and began working while the Colonel slept. At least this time he knew not to get too close to John until he was awake.
The group headed to the mess hall to grab an early lunch. Ronon was grabbing his lunch when he spotted Jocelynne. She noticed him as well, smiled and started walking up to him while his friends went and sat down. All them were giving him knowing looks to which he responded with a scowl.
"Good Morning Ronon." Jocelynne said. "How are you?" she asked.
"Good, how are you?" he asked, genuinely curious to know her health.
She laughed a little at his eagerness, pleasantly surprised by it. "I am well. How is Colonel Sheppard?" she asked, genuine concern and warmth coming through her eyes and into her being.
"He's fine." Ronon responded gruffly. It wasn't that he minded her asking after his friend, or even being interested in his friend (he was used to that) but he knew John really didn't want others to know how he truly felt and Ronon felt compelled to respect that. He wasn't one to share how he was doing either, if it could be covered up and ignored he considered himself fine.
She nodded, her eyes losing a bit of warmth. "I hope he feels better soon." She said before she turned around to leave.
"Hey." Ronon said, stopping her before she got too far. He wanted to ask her for a date, for dinner, for the warmth of her against him but he settled with, "Would you like to spar with me later?" Idiot! He kicked himself mentally at how stupid that sounded.
Never-the-less she smiled, once again filling him with warmth, "I would love to. Would 2 o'clock work for you?" she asked.
"Sounds fine." He responded as she turned around and left. He followed suit and turned around to head to his group who were sitting at a table in an unpopular area. Clearly they had things to discuss that they didn't want heard.
They all ate in silence for a bit before Elizabeth spoke up. "What do you guys think about Lt. Ford?" she asked, wanting to get their opinions without John there, or anyone else, to influence their responses.
Rodney was the first to speak up. "Honestly, while I'm not crazy about the idea of helping a man who drugged us against our wills and almost killed me, Sheppard is right." He said with a resigned sigh. "I mean, it wasn't really Ford who did all that, it was the Enzyme in his system. If we can forgive Ronon for turning on us when he was "turned" and Teyla for beating up Carson when she had the Queen in her head, then why can't we forgive Ford for what he's done?" Rodney finished, his face revealing his shock at what he'd just said. He hadn't meant to say all of that. He was of the opinion that they should help (and possibly forgive) Ford but he hadn't meant to blurt it all out.
Elizabeth just nodded, saying, "Yes but Ford was taking the Enzyme willingly Rodney. It's very different."
"Not the first time he wasn't." Rodney countered knowing it wasn't a very good argument.
Elizabeth just nodded again and turned toward Ronon. "What do you think?" she asked.
Ronon just shrugged. He really didn't care either way now that they've proved that Aiden was alive and off the Enzyme. If he went it would only be if Sheppard wanted him to go since he couldn't go himself.
Elizabeth just smiled before turning to Teyla. "What do you think?"
Teyla took her time responding, feeding Torren and herself while she thought. "I as well believe that John has a point. We have never left a man behind and there is no reason to start doing so now." She answered.
"Alright," Elizabeth said, "but still none of you wish to join the mission?" she asked without trying to make it sound like an accusation.
"I am staying to be with Torren. Kanaan is going to the mainland tomorrow and does not wish to take him with him. Plus, I believe of all of us that I am better at watching over John." She said, her cheeks reddening a little, "Besides earlier today, I mean." She added remember how she couldn't get John to get back in bed.
"I have this mysterious device that caused my lab to implode that I'm trying to solve." Rodney said haughtily as if to say How could you even ask me to go? They understood that he wanted to find out what happened and therefore left it at that.
"I'll go if Sheppard wants me to go." Ronon told her. He was itching to get off world again. He never liked sitting still for too long, he just wasn't good at it.
"Very well," Elizabeth told them, "I believe we can assume by his reaction earlier today Ronon that Colonel Sheppard does want you to go." She told him. She figured that was why John was so adamant that he be allowed to go, because none of his team volunteered.
Ronon nodded before standing up and leaving. Rodney soon followed him, eager to work on his puzzle. Teyla sat there still feeding Torren. Elizabeth got up to leave as well. I hope it goes well tomorrow she thought as she walked out the door and headed to her office.
Carson heard the doors of John's quarters swish open. He jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to come in but smiled warmly when he saw Teyla with a fussy Torren in her hands.
"Teyla, good afternoon luv." He greeted warmly. John had just woken up and was in the bathroom so he was standing by the door waiting for him. "How are you?" he asked.
"I am well Dr. Beckett." She replied trying to keep a hold of Torren. "Torren is rather fussy right now and I hoped a visit with John would help calm him down." She explained when he glanced at the squirming child. "How is he?" she asked.
Carson smiled at her, "He's alright. Better than he was earlier but his little stroll to his door is still affecting him." He said.
"Affecting him how?" she asked, unsure of what he meant.
"He's still quite tired and in a fair amount of pain. His migraine isn't as severe but it's still enough to bother him." He explained summarizing his patient's aches and pains as best as he could.
"I see." She said, nodding. "How are you feeling?" she asked indicating his bandaged arm and colorfully bruised face.
"I'm ok." He replied. "My wrist is throbbing from using it so much today but it isn't too bad at the moment."
She gave him a sympathetic smile, "Maybe you should try to let it rest today." She told him as she suggested he have a seat while she waits for John.
Just then John came awkwardly rolling into the room. Teyla swiftly came up behind him and pushed him back to his bed, not giving Carson the chance to do it. Carson just sighed, smiling. He figured that was his cue to leave anyways so he went and gathered his stuff, wincing when he picked up his bag with his left hand.
"You alright doc?" John asked, noticing the wince. He still felt bad for hurting the doctor but wasn't about to make a fuss over it if Carson wasn't going to. He'd already drawn enough attention to himself for the day.
"Aye, I'm ok." He replied, beginning to favor his wrist.
"You know, you should take it easy on that wrist doc. It needs time to heal." John told him, smirking slightly.
"Now do you go and repeat my own words back to me lad, I'm still not happy with you for your stunt this morning." Carson replied immediately, his voice getting louder by the word causing John to wince. "Sorry lad." He said when he noticed his volume had gotten louder than the Colonel needed right now.
"It's ok doc. I'm fine." He replied waving off the apology. "Anyways, you should go take a break. You've been working since you got here and I know that can't be good for your wrist." He said with a pointed look.
"Aye, well, I'll just leave you to it." He said as he turned to go.
"Carson," John said before he left, "Thanks."
"You're welcome Colonel." Carson told him before he walked out into the brightly lit Atlantis hallways.
Teyla waited for John to get situated in bed before she sat down, still trying to hold on to Torren. His squirming had become more pronounced when he saw John and he hadn't stopped. John gently laid himself against the pillows, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. His head throbbed mercilessly and any movement or light made it worse. He heard Torren squirming to get away from his mother so he opened his eyes to look at the child.
"Hey buddy," he said tiredly, "you want to come over here and keep me company?" he asked figuring it'd relieve Teyla's mind if he knew that he wanted the child to sit with him. Torren let out a squeal of delight, causing John to cringe and groan slightly. "Ok, but no more squealing alright?" John asked him, even though he wasn't even sure Torren knew what he was talking about. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought Torren did but he wasn't sure.
Teyla brought Torren over and placed him on John's bed, letting the child find his own way to John and a place to sit. She would have just let him go and let him walk over there but she would have ended up picking Torren up anyways so she decided to cut to the chase.
John felt Torren crawl on his bed up to his lap and gently lean against him on his right side. Within minutes he felt Torrens breathing even out, indicating he'd fallen asleep. "Guess we wore him out today huh?" he asked Teyla.
Teyla looked at her son, "Yes I believe we did." She said, knowing the excitement from early had riled Torren up a bit even though the child didn't move from his spot on the floor in the corner of the room the entire time. She looked at John again, "How are you feeling?" she asked wondering if he'd be honest with her or not.
John sighed before answering, "M'alright." He said grimacing a little when a stab of pain shot up through his body and ended in his head.
Teyla winced slightly at John's grimace. She knew that when he activated any unknown ancient device he'd have moderate to severe migraines for a few days but it didn't make it any easier to see him in pain. "Is there anything you need?" she asked hoping the volume of her voice wasn't too loud. She spotted a cooling cloth a little ways away and grabbed it, placing it on his head.
"Thanks." He told her as the cloth eased his headache a bit. Damn ancient devices!
"Is there anything else you need?" she asked, looking for something to do that would help. She saw him wince again but waited for him to answer.
John could tell that she wanted to do something to help so he decided he'd let her. "Would you mind grabbing a couple ice packs?" he asked, knowing that she would not.
"Are your shoulder and ankle hurting you?" she asked.
"Yeah a little, though Beckett has said to start alternating ice with heat for the ankle." He said. His shoulder hurt when Beckett had tried adding a heating pad to it so he suggested that they continue with just ice for now.
Teyla came back with two ice packs in hand and gently laid the first one on his ankle and the second one on his shoulder. "How are you ribs?" she asked wanting to make sure that was all of his aches.
"They're ok. They hurt but not bad right now." He responded while motioning at the chair, "Please, sit down." He said. "I actually feel kinda bad about you having to look after me so much. I bet Kanaan thinks I'm trying to steal you away from him." He said jokingly.
"You are one of the few people around here to can keep Torren calm for most of the day. It is you who are doing me a favor." She said smiling at him. "Besides, it makes me feel better knowing you have someone to help you." She said sincerely, deciding how far she should go. "It bothers me to know that you are in pain." She told him, deciding on the truth.
He opened his eyes, took off the cloth and lifted his head to look at her. "I'm sorry Teyla, but I am fine." He told her while grabbing her hand. "At least, I will be." He said smiling knowing that she knew he wasn't fine. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes again before he said, "At least you weren't near the lab."
"Why is that?" she asked confused as to why he was saying that.
"Because, I don't want you getting hurt." He told her in a matter-of-fact tone. He looked like he wanted to say more but he held it back, deciding now was not the time.
"Rodney and Dr. Zelenka were with you and they did not get hurt." She told him.
"I know but that was because Rodney was able to pull Radek down before the explosion or implosion or whatever it was happened. Gustav wasn't so lucky." He told her, his breath catching. "When I think if that had been you," he said, leaving the sentence unfinished when his breath caught again.
For a minute she thought it was because it hurt to draw in a breath but she saw the emotion in his eyes and knew that wasn't the reason. She wanted to go over and hug him but didn't for fear of hurting him. "But I was not. I was not anywhere near the lab." She said bringing the tone of the conversation back up a bit.
"No, you were not. Thank God!" he said, more to himself than her. He sat there for a moment, seemingly lost in thought before he snapped out of it and opened his eyes again to look at her. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you." He told her, regret filling his eyes.
"It is alright John, I understand why you reacted the way you did and I was not upset at you for getting upset. I was upset because I was worried that you would injure yourself further if you didn't get back into bed." She said, her tone relaying worry and scolding at the same time.
"I know, I'm sorry. Believe me, I won't be trying that again any time soon." He said wearily, his eyes closing again.
"You should rest John, while Torren is resting." She said giving his hand a squeeze before she let it go and leaned back in the chair. "I will be here if you need anything." She told him just as he fell asleep.
John hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he felt a gentle but painful pressure on his side and jolted awake, his heart racing madly. He looked down to find Torren trying to gently get off the bed. Teyla noticed and grabbed him before he fell off.
"I'm sorry John, I did not notice he was awake. Are you ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, he just surprised me." He said while he waited for the fiery pain in his side to go down. "What time is it?" he asked merely for the sake of something to say.
"It is almost 6pm." She told him. "You have been asleep for a few hours."
"I have got to stop doing that!" he said, hating how much he was sleeping lately but he had to admit that he did feel better.
"You need the rest John. It will help you heal." She told him soothingly. "Rodney and Ronon are on their way with some dinner. I told them that you would be glad to have them join us." She said.
"Great." He replied still trying to wake up.
Not 5 minutes later Rodney, Ronon and Jocelynne walked in carrying 6 trays of food. "Good Evening Colonel, I hope you don't mind if I join you." Jocelynne greeted her voice bright and happy but quiet and soothing.
As she spoke, John felt his migraine ease enough to where he could raise the lighting a bit. Teyla helped John to sit up a little more so he could eat while Jocelynne placed the tray gently in his lap. "Yeah, that's fine. The more the merrier." He said as he began to eat awkwardly with his left hand.
The meal passed by pleasantly with soft, gentle conversation. The team had been together long enough to be able to have a conversation without saying a word and that night they spoke volumes to each other while keeping the outward conversation pleasant.
When they had finished their meal, Teyla had noticed John's looks had been getting more pointed, like he wanted to say something but without Jocelynne there so she asked Jocelynne to help her take the trays back while the guys watched Torren.
When they left, John looked at Ronon and Rodney. "I'm sorry guys for the way I acted. I realize you have your reasons for not wanting to go and I respect them." He said even though he felt the words didn't fully cover it.
"Is that all you wanted to say?" Rodney asked jokingly. "I had actual important things to do rather than sit here with you all night waiting for THAT."
John rolled his eyes, "Like what McKay?" he asked.
"I think I've finally figured out what happened in the lab." Rodney told him excitedly.
John waited for the scientist to finish his explanation but he didn't. "And?" John prompted.
"And what?" Rodney asked completely oblivious. "Oh! I want to do a little bit more research before I say anything and I think Elizabeth should be around when I do." He said, clearly not going to explain much more than that.
John just rolled his eyes, "Fine."
That's when Ronon decided to join the conversation. "If it makes you feel any better Sheppard, I will be going tomorrow." He said.
"Why?" John asked in obvious confusion.
"Because we all agreed that you're right and I'm the only one really available. Plus, I can go along and make sure they make it back alright." He said with a smile.
John smiled back, "You know, Major Lorne is perfectly capable of defending the team." He said, knowing that while it was true, they both knew John would feel better with Ronon there to help.
Ronon only grunted in response. Just then, John let out a jaw-cracking yawn.
"Geez Sheppard, if you're tired just tell us!" Rodney said, complaining.
"It wasn't a hint Rodney, it just happened." John explained tiredly.
"Want help getting into the chair?" Ronon asked.
John sighed loudly, he hated this part. Not only was it humiliating but it hurt too. "Yeah, buddy, thanks." He said as Ronon began to move over and help John.
By the time they were done and John was back in bed, the girls reappeared. John noticed Teyla before he ever noticed Jocelynne. His eyes immediately went to her, following her graceful moves and her warm eyes.
When he did see Jocelynne he noticed that she had a big smile on her face, her eyes dancing with humor. She came up to him and gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder saying, "Good night Colonel. I hope you feel better." At that moment he felt the pain in his body ease to a tolerable level.
"Thanks Jocelynne. Have a good night." He replied before stopping her. "Oh and Jocelynne?" he said. "Call me John."
She smiled, "Yes John. And please, call me Lynne. It's easier for all." She said and then walked out the door.
He then bid good night to everyone else, knowing they all had early days. It took a bit of convincing to get Teyla to go but even she had to admit that she needed one good night's sleep and therefore reluctantly left with the rest.
John smiled at her reluctance. Who knew she cared that much? He thought before he fell into a deep and restful sleep.