Epilogue. . .
Gandalf awaited their return, his hat missing and his mood cloudy as he asked what ever had taken them so long.
"Bilbo took his time, you know how slow hobbits are." Thorin jested, smirk on his face as his hobbit sighed in exasperation. It was agreed that no one would hear from them about getting kicked out of Rivendell due to lewd behavior. That was a private matter they intended on keeping between one another.
"Where is your hat, Gandalf?" Bilbo inquired, the wizard rarely had it off his gray colored head.
"Your nephews, Thorin Oakenshield, took off with my precious hat and refused to give me it's location. They've been very naughty and mischievous dwarfs while I've stayed here, and I suggest you do something about their terrible behavior!" Huffed the unhappy faced fellow, his brows furrowed as he looked towards the king for any kind of sympathy.
"They learn it from Bilbo." Thorin said with a serious look on his face, Bilbo reaching out and punching the sassing dwarf on his upper arm.
"You're such an arse!" Bilbo hissed at his companion as he started looking around for the missing nephews. Gandalf started to eye Bilbo curiously as he watched the hobbit begin his search.
"And how was your trip?" He asked of either companion, his eyes still trained on Bilbo.
"Elves, snobby prudes." Thorin spoke quietly to himself, Gandalf hearing the dwarf and asking what that meant.
"He means, they didn't enjoy his swearing, dwarfish nature, Gandalf." Bilbo intercepted, eyeing Thorin heatedly.
"Yes, you know elves, prim and proper lot." Thorin chuckled sort of awkwardly.
"Have you seen the tricksters lately? I'd like to see if I can talk some sense into those mischievous dwarfs." Bilbo asked of the watchful wizard.
"They've ran off somewhere, I've been unable to find them throughout this maze of a mountain." Gandalf sighed in defeat, missing his trusty hat. "I don't have time to just sit here and wait on the ornery dwarfs to return my hat, I've been waiting patiently for your return, and I've run dry of that patience. Thorin, I recently spoke with your cousin Dain, he intends to visit you soon and his main concern is whether or not you've started looking for a wife. He thinks it is important for you to hurry up and get wedded so that you may have heirs in case you should meet an untimely end."
"Fili and Kili are like sons to me, if I had died in battle, Fili would have taken the kingdom. I'm still fine with that order of succession, he can shove off with this wife business." Thorin huffed his opinion, Gandalf shaking his head unhappily.
"He intends on bringing you one if you don't choose a partner soon. He's insistent, Thorin. If you deny him his gift of a dwarf maiden for a wife, he will see it as an insult and bad things will start happening."
"He acts as if he wants me to refuse him, to start an argument." Thorin sighed, finding this news frustrating.
"You need to either focus on finding a bride from around here, or accept the dwarf he offers you. And you Bilbo," Gandalf turned his attention towards the paused form of the ghostly pale looking hobbit. Bilbo had been listening in and wasn't fond of Thorin's choices he'd have to make.
"You need to realize your destiny has been filled here and that it is time to go back home to the Shire. You've no place here among the dwarfs of the Lonely Mountain." Bilbo's innocent eyes started turning glassy as he took Gandalf's words in, feeling vulnerable and doubting himself.
"You leave Bilbo alone!" Thorin warned, placing himself between the hobbit and wizard. "He can make his own destiny, nothing is predestined." The kingly dwarfs arms crossed as he eyed the tall sorcerer determinedly.
"Bilbo belongs here as much as your nephew Kili belongs with that she elf from Mirkwood." Gandalf thundered his opinion, his words taking Thorin off guard.
"What elf?!" He growled, not liking where this conversation was going.
"While you've been away, he's been having visits from that maiden, thinking he's so damn sneaky when the fellow is anything but! They've been fooling around right under your mountain, and who knows how long he's been sneaking off seeing her. But that's none of my business. Like you said, nothing is predestined." Gandalf said sarcastically, Thorins face a broody cloud of anger at hearing such news from the wizard.
"Thorin, please stay calm." Bilbo urged the now shaking form of the king, his anger was growing rapidly by the second.
"You better be misinformed, wizard. I would hate to have to disown one of my beloved nephews..." He hissed out the words, trying hard to believe that Gandalf was wrong.
"Fine. Live your life with your head in the ground. I'm leaving, you've been warned about Dain, that was my main concern here. Good day Thorin, Bilbo." He looked at Bilbo like a parent would a naughty teenager before leaving the mountain hatless.
"Thorin, do you think he's right? That I don't belong here..." Bilbo cautiously asked his companion, Thorin dropped his anger towards his nephew and threw an arm around the hobbits shoulders protectively.
"That wizard is opinionated and pushy, Bilbo. You make your own destiny, if you wish to stay, and you know now that I want you to, then stay. If you wish to return home, I will not stop you, but I would miss you greatly." Thorin spoke his peace, the little hobbit hugged the dwarf to him, feeling his eyes water lightly as he tried hard not to cry in front of Thorin.
"But what about this visit from your cousin? What will we do?" He gazed up at his companion worriedly.
"Don't you fret, little hobbit, I have a plan that will undoubtedly fool and please my troublesome kin. We'll need all the dwarfs help to pull it off." Thorin informed his concerned counterpart, his mind focus for now on the task of fooling Dain when he arrived. His concern over Kili and those questionable accusations could wait for now.