Title: Glass Hearts

Rating: PG-13

Summary (of chapter): Lily worries about his family, and James keeps his Animagus secret from Lily.

She had sent the letter two weeks ago. But, as usual, Petunia hadn't responded. It was five months until the wedding - April 29th at the church by their house. Petunia had plans to put together the entire thing without a word of input from Lily. She was going grand; a hundred and fifty guests, a chapel train, thousands of flowers. Lily wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, she would instead be a guest. A completely normal guest, and if she tried anything funny, Petunia would never speak to her again. That was the only thing Petunia had told her this summer. Lily had almost responded, 'Would you ever speak to me again if I didn't try anything funny?' But she didn't feel like putting her in an even more bad mood.

Lily sighed, drumming her fingers on her Transfiguration book. She should be doing homework, but she couldn't concentrate. Petunia wasn't talking to her, and the attacks these days weren't pretty. She was starting to fear for the lives of her family. She couldn't forget about what had happened a week ago when she was meeting with Professor McGonagall.

"You're doing great, Lily," McGonagall said. "I really appreciate you and James and the extra things you do."

Lily smiled. "Oh, it's nothing," she said.

Suddenly, McGonagall's door swung open and a large man walked into her office. McGonagall stood up. "Minerva!" he exclaimed. He glanced at Lily, his eyes wide, then back at Professor McGonagall.

"Benjy, can't this wait?" McGonagall asked.

"No," Benjy said. "It's messy. Two Muggles - their daughter is a student here - attacked by Death Eaters, the Mark in the middle of Muggle Surrey, their bodies strewn in the streets -"

"All right, all right," McGonagall said. Lily's heart was trying to get out of her chest. Lily looked at McGonagall with wide eyes. "Who's the student?"

"I don't know," Benjy said. "Their names are - something Watterson."

"Watterson?" McGonagall repeated.

Lily put her hand over her heart, leaning on the desk in front of her. She closed her eyes, holding back tears.

McGonagall touched Lily's shoulder. "Lily, you should go," she said.

Lily nodded. She grabbed her book bag and stood up. She nodded at Benjy. "We'll continue this," McGonagall said as Lily walked past Benjy. She recognized him as the man who had been at Remus's house, his family's guardian. Lily paused, turning to face McGonagall.

"Why did they kill her parents?" she asked.

McGonagall frowned. "I don't know," she said.

"Is it because she was a witch?" Lily asked. "What about everyone else who has Muggle parents? Is this the first time something like this has happened?"

"Lily, I really have to help Benjy right now," McGonagall said. "I - I'm sure your parents will be fine."

Lily shook her head. She couldn't guarantee that. Who knew who would be after her parents? If pure blood lines were so important to You-Know-Who, why not punish the Muggles who had witches or wizards? He had killed people who had entered into half-blood marriages before. "Professor -" she began.

"Lily, we're doing all we can," McGonagall said. "I have to deal with this, okay?"

Now in the library, Lily closed her eyes, putting her hand up to her forehead. Should she be fearing for her family's lives? Her sister was getting married. Her parents had no idea about the war, other than the fact that there were a few attacks here and there. They didn't understand how serious everything was, how everything was mortal, fleeting, nothing guaranteed.

"Hey," she heard a soft voice.

Lily looked up, surprised. James was sitting down next to her. "You all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lily said.

"You've been a little out of it over the last week," James said, giving her a concerned look.

Lily tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "I just . . ." she trailed off. "Well, did you hear about Bethany Watterson's parents?"

"Yeah," James said.

"Well, they were Muggles," Lily said. She sighed. "I'm just afraid that . . . I'm just scared for my family."

There was a moment of silence, and Lily immediately felt stupid. Even though this was scaring her, it's not like James needed to hear about it - or even wanted to. James took her hand. "Maybe you can ask an Auror to . . . guard them," he said.

Lily shook her head. "Aurors are already spread thin," she said. "We hardly have enough to keep witches and wizards safe."

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind," James said.

"They don't have enough men," Lily said. "I heard that Frank Longbottom skipped training because they need him so badly."

"What?" James asked.

Lily shrugged. "That's what Alice told me."

James looked thoughtful. He moved his fingers so that they fell between Lily's. Lily thought that their hands fit together perfectly. "Well, we have a few options here," he said.

"What?"

"We kill You-Know-Who," James said. "That's the obvious option. It's a work in progress, definitely . . ."

Lily smiled. "Option number one."

"Second option, you drop out of Hogwarts and the wizarding world," James said. "You can't do that, though, because I don't think I'd survive without you."

Lily nodded. "All right," she said. "I won't do that, then."

"And option number three is I drop out of Hogwarts and do my best to protect your family," James said matter-of-factly.

Laughing softly, Lily leaned towards James. She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Well, I'm not so sure about that, because I don't think I'd survive without you, either," she said.

James gave her a boyish grin. He squeezed her hand. "So we're back to option number one," he said.

"Which seems like it'll take a while," Lily said, her eyebrows raised.

James nodded. "Until then, I'm always willing for number three," he said. "You can come with me."

Lily smiled at him. Why was he always so nice to her? It seemed like he would do anything for her. She didn't understand it sometimes, especially since she didn't usually let James see how much she cared for him. She scooted her chair closer to him. "James," she said, "I don't always tell you how much I care about you . . . or act like it. But I really do. I think you're such a great person. I just . . ."

"Don't worry," James said. "I know."

"Do you?"

James smiled. "Yeah."

"Well, how do you always know where to find me?" Lily asked.

Laughing, James tilted his head. "I can't tell you all my secrets."

"I don't think you've told me any."

"I told you about Remus."

"That wasn't you!"

"Well, I don't think you've told me any, either."

"I told you that in third year, I kissed Carlyle Bickey," Lily said.

"Did you ever kiss Snape?" James asked.

Lily took her hand away from his. "What a wonderful way to ruin a completely normal conversation," she said.

James looked at her indignantly. "What?" he said defensively. "I was just wondering!"

"No, James," she said, annoyed. "Okay? I've never kissed him. Not that it matters. But apparently it does to you."

"It doesn't."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry," James said.

Lily looked at him with a look of surprise on her face. "You look at me like that was the last thing you expected me to say," James said.

"It was."

"I just . . . I just know that . . . you two were friends at one point," James said. "And I guess it weirds me out."

"I know," Lily said. "Forget about it. Just - don't ask that ever again. Or a question like it."

"No problem," James said. "So, anything else I shouldn't ask?"

"If I've ever kissed any of your friends," Lily said. "Because I haven't. I would never."

James smiled. "Good," he said. "I've never kissed any of your friends."

"Except for Candace," Lily said.

James let out an uneasy laugh. "Well, yeah, her."

Lily patted the back of his hand. "I've got to do my Transfiguration homework."

"We have Transfiguration homework?"

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" Lily asked.

He had never had a harder time saying no. They were cleaning up after a prefect meeting. Lily looked so pretty wearing a green top, her hair falling in waves over her shoulder. It was Saturday, though, and tonight was the full moon. Remus had been feeling sick lately. He had already headed for the Shrieking Shack.

"I can't tonight," James said.

"Why not?"

"I've just - we're doing this guy thing."

"Oh," Lily said. "Okay."

"Sorry," James said. "I really want to. I don't know how long it'll take, though, all four of us -"

"You mean three?" Lily asked.

"Right," James said. "Right, um, we're just . . . maybe tomorrow night."

Lily gave him a smile. "Sure," she said. "That sounds like fun."

The two of them walked back to Gryffindor Tower, talking about the last week. She continued to be amazing; James had no idea why she had finally started liking him. All that cocky talk wasn't all backed up by actual ego. Sure, he thought he was cool on the surface, a fun guy, but he didn't really understand why anyone would love him or devote so much time to him or care about him.

Back in the common room, James kissed her before he walked up to his dorm. Sirius and Peter were sitting around. Sirius was reading through a Quidditch magazine, and Peter was playing cards. "Hey," Sirius said. "Another exciting prefect meeting?"

"Oh, you have no idea," James said. It was dusk outside. "When are we going to go?"

Sirius shrugged. He glanced out the window. "Twenty minutes?" he suggested.

"I told Lily we were doing some guy thing tonight," James said.

"Tut, tut, James, lying to your girlfriend is bad," Sirius said.

"I learn from the best."

"You'd rather he tell her?" Peter asked.

"No," Sirius said firmly.

Twenty minutes later, they walked downstairs, bringing the invisibility cloak just in case. They had a place to hide it by the Whomping Willow. They didn't all fit underneath it anymore. It wasn't like first year. Actually, the four of them had never been able to hide under it, but there had been a time when three could, and one would risk his neck for the others.

It was chilly outside. James dug his hands inside of his pockets. Before they ventured over to the Whomping Willow, they checked the map. Hagrid was inside, and there weren't any students outside. James put on the cloak, and Sirius and Peter morphed into their Animagus forms. James would stand watch while the two others got Moony.

Wormtail stilled the tree, and Padfoot went into the tunnel. Wormtail followed him, and the branches of the wild tree began moving again. James lit up the tip of his wand again, watching the map. At the most, this would take twenty minutes. James usually stood watch because it wasn't that easy for Prongs to move through the tunnel. And Sirius always insisted on going down the tunnel.

James walked around to stay warm, whistling, thinking about Lily. He pulled the map out every few minutes. About the third time, he noticed some people in Dumbledore's office who hadn't been there before. Alastor Moody and Frank Longbottom. He wondered what Frank was doing here. He saw Hagrid and Moody leave the office, then move for the stairs. His heart sunk as he realized they were coming outside. He licked his lips, turning towards the Whomping Willow. It had been ten minutes. They would be coming in five minutes, at the most ten. James swore under his breath, watching Moody and Hagrid moved closer to the entrance doors. Shit, Moody had that stupid blue eye, too. But the signal they had agreed on was if Peter didn't see Prongs, then it wasn't safe. He didn't want Moody to think he was doing something funny, not after his dad had told him how much Moody liked him and Sirius.

After trying to figure out what to do, James wiped the map clean. He took off the cloak and casually walked towards the entrance door, timing it so that he ran into Moody and Hagrid the same time they came out. They seemed to be in a heated discussion, and stopped talking abruptly when they saw James.

"James!" Hagrid said, trying to sound casual. "How're you doin?"

"Great," James said. "Just enjoying a cold December night. How are you men?"

"Could be better," Moody grunted. He limped past James. "Constant vigilance, Potter."

James nodded. "Constantly."

Hagrid gave him a small smile as they passed him, walking to his hut. Damn. James walked inside, wondering how long Moody planned on staying. Moony wouldn't want to wait around in a tunnel, but a wolf coming out of the Whomping Willow with a large dog and a rat wouldn't look good. They couldn't be found out by Dumbledore, not now, after they'd done this so long.

James stood at in the corner of the entrance hall, revealing the map. Moody and Hagrid had settled themselves in Hagrid's hut. He kept his eyes on the Whomping Willow. He could begin to see the tunnel about two meters away from the opening of it. His eyes traveled over the rest of the map; Alice Hodge was now in Dumbledore's office. How romantic, Dumbledore was making sure they got to see each other. Moody paced around in Hagrid's hut.

A few moments later, he saw three names appear on the map. Peter Pettigrew led Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. James straightened up, watching them creep closer to the Whomping Willow.

There was the chance that Moody wouldn't look over there, but James wasn't willing to take it.

His friends reached the tree. Moody was still pacing around. Suddenly, a voice made James jump.

Lily was walking towards him. James hid the map behind his back. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Uh," James said. "Just . . . waiting for Sirius and Peter to get out of the kitchens."

"Oh, that's where I was headed," Lily said with a blush.

"Oh, really?" James said. "Sneaking into the kitchens?"

Lily smiled. "What are you guys doing?"

James shrugged. "Nothing."

Lily gave him a confused look. "Mind if I run down there?" she asked.

"Yes," James said.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Is there any way you can just come back in twenty minutes?" James asked.

Lily gave him a slightly annoyed look. "I just want some pie," she said. She paused. "Do you want to get it for me?"

"I'm - I can't," James said. He racked his mind for a quick lie. "They said I couldn't go down there. I'm keeping watch. I can't let you go down there, either."

Crossing her arms, Lily narrowed her eyes, "Why do I get the idea that you're lying to me?"

"Because I am," James blurted out. "Look, Lily, I can't explain this right now. But later, okay? I just - I'm really . . . busy."

"You're standing there looking at a piece of parchment," Lily said.

"Please," James said. "Please, just trust me. I . . . this is important. There's -"

"Maybe I can help," Lily offered.

"Sirius will kill me."

Lily sighed. "Okay," she said. "Tomorrow you're getting me some pie."

"Okay," James said, nodding. "Goodnight."

Lily gave him an unenthusiastic look, turning and walking back towards the marble staircase that led to the first floor. James winced, knowing that he was treating her like dragon dung, but the other situation was a bit more important. He turned around, looking at the map. Things were as he had last seen it. Moody paced around Hagrid's hut, and his friends waited at the mouth of the tunnel. He didn't want Moony getting restless . . . he had to do something. Something soon. Sirius and Peter were there with Remus.

Tell Moody Dumbledore wanted him? Just Morph and lead them into the Forbidden Forest, hoping Moody didn't see them? He may have been seen in Liverpool, anyway. And what if Dumbledore found out? They could be expelled. Hell, maybe it was better to be expelled than to have Remus end up biting Sirius or Peter.

James wiped the map clean, tucking it in his back pocket. He jogged out of the entrance hall, and Morphed into Animagus form halfway towards the Whomping Willow.

The tree suddenly stilled, and two large creatures jumped out. The wolf rolled over the large black dog, the two of them growling. Moony's teeth bared; he went for Padfoot's throat. Padfoot pawed him off, barking. Prongs saw Wormtail shoot towards him, then he heard Hagrid's voice. They had to get to the Forest now.

Padfoot seemed to read his mind. He started running for the trees. Moony took off after him. Prongs and Wormtail followed, just as the two men came out of Hagrid's hut. Prongs looked over his shoulder, the outline of the huge groundskeeper evident against the dark night.

Soon, Padfoot and Moony were playing. Padfoot barked playfully, rolling around with Moony. Wormtail ran around the forest ground, enjoying what food he could find. Soon the four of them weren't seventeen-year-old boys trying to figure out their world, but they were playful animals in the Forbidden Forest, having adventures, exploring, meeting new creatures.

Lily came back from lunch, trying to listen as Marlene ranted on about her dad, who had decided to keep his daughter in the dark. Marlene usually got more inside information than she wanted, but now, she knew nothing more than the rest of the students.

"I mean, he never wrote anything important because Death Eater's intercept owls," Marlene said. "But I feel like . . . I don't know, he's never treated me like a kid. He's always wanted me to enjoy life, yeah, but. . ."

They walked into the Gryffindor common room. Lily glanced around. She didn't see the boys in her year. "Have you seen James?" she asked Marlene.

"I think he's still sleeping," Marlene said. "Is Remus still in the infirmary?"

"I don't know," Lily said as they sat down by Mary. Lily felt slightly guilt for knowing more about Remus than his girlfriend - who happened to be one of her best friends. But it wasn't her place to tell Marlene about Remus. She didn't know if Remus would ever tell her, really.

Candace suddenly rushed over to them. "You guys," she said, dropping her voice. "I just heard that Jewel wants to break up with Sirius."

"What?" Mary asked.

"Who'd you hear that from?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Juniper," Candace said. "She said they never talk. He's not looking for a serious relationship, and she is."

Marlene rolled her eyes at Lily. "Jewel and Sirius talk a lot," she said. "They write each other notes at least once a week."

"Notes?" Candace repeated.

"Like letters," Marlene said. "And they're always snogging."

"Yeah, but come on," Mary said, rolling her eyes. "It's Sirius."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Marlene asked.

Mary let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, we all know you adore him," she said.

Marlene made a face. "Someone give me a vomit-flavored bean."

"What about that party at the Tonks's house?" Mary asked. "You spent all night with him."

"We were just drinking," Marlene said, shrugging.

"Like you were just drinking with his brother?" Mary asked, a smirk on her face.

"Are you kidding me?" Marlene exclaimed. "You were there! You know it was nothing!"

"All right," Lily said. "Marlene doesn't have it for either Black. She's going out with Remus. And I don't think Jewel's going to break up with Sirius."

Candace looked skeptical. She paused, as though considering whether to say what she was about to say. "I saw Jewel kissing Kingsley Shacklebolt last night," Candace admitted. "I mean, it was under the mistletoe -"

"Everyone kisses under the mistletoe," Lily said offhandedly.

"Lily kissed James last year under the mistletoe!" Mary exclaimed, laughing. She looked at Marlene. "Look, there's your lover now."

Lily saw James and Sirius at the foot of the spiral staircase, walking towards the portrait hole. They both looked like they had just woken up. "I'll see you guys later," she said.

She caught up with the two of them. "Hey, James," she said.

They look exhausted. There was a pink crease on the side of James's face. Lily held back a smile. "Hey," James said. He motioned to Sirius to go on. "I'll catch up with you."

Sirius smirked, shaking his head, and left. James smiled at Lily. "You want to walk with me?" he asked.

They left the common room. "So, I'm sorry about last night," James said, his hands in his pockets.

Lily pursed her lips, nodding. "I just . . . I don't want to keep secrets from each other," she said. She had been thinking about this since she had seen him last night. She didn't want anything to come between them.

James nodded. "I know," he said. "But, I mean - it's not just my secret. I would tell you, honestly. I want to. It's just - well - Sirius and Peter aren't dating you. I am."

"Yeah," Lily said. It was an interesting thing, dating James. It was like she got all four boys for the price of one. Jewel agreed with her. A few days ago, they were talking, and Jewel had told her about when all four of them visited for Christmas, and both Sirius and James pranked her on her birthday.

"I'm going to talk to Sirius, though," James said. "I want us to be able to talk about anything."

"Me, too," Lily agreed.

"You can tell me anything, you know," James said. "I don't care how much you talk my ear off. I like it when we get to know each other."

Lily gave him a grateful smile. "I like it, too," she said. "Hey, you know the thing you can't tell me?"

"Yeah."

"It's not dangerous, is it?"

James paused, biting his lips. "Well, when you say dangerous. . ."

Lily grabbed his arm, stopping in her tracks. "James," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"What do you mean by dangerous?" James asked.

"I mean you're going to get hurt or killed."

"Well, it's dangerous just walking around," James said. "You could trip and fall."

"Do you think it's dangerous?"

"Yes," James admitted. "But that's half the fun of it."

Lily tilted her head, frowning. James put an arm on her shoulder. "Now, now," he said. "Fear not, Lily. I don't know if you've heard, but I'm actually immortal."

"Oh, really?"

A/N: The Slug Club Christmas party, Lily comes to James' house for dinner over Christmas break, and someone takes a ride on Sirius' motorbike.