AN – Well this was quicker then usual, Hope you enjoy. Again, thanks for the reviews, always make me happy.
Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight, only the plot.
CHAPTER FIVE
EPOV
I arrived at school a few minutes late, so I didn't have chance to go look for Alice. All I could do was run straight to my class, and grab a few kisses from my current girlfriend, Tanya, before bursting through my English rooms door and apologise for being late. Of course the teacher wasn't happy. This wasn't the first time I was late, and if I was late it was normally for this lesson or biology, which was just after lunch. What can I say? I get distracted easily and seem to miss the bell.
I took my seat at the back of the room, forgetting Bella, as soon as I saw a girl called Katharine bend over to get something out her bag, showing off both her thong, and most of her bare ass. Hmm. The joys of being a horny teenager. Emmett used to laugh at me. Till I pointed out he was just the same, only he stuck with one woman. Me, well I had most of the women here. Again, what can I say? I get bored easily.
English dragged on for a while; I just tuned out the boring voice of Mrs Donavan. She always bored me, as well as most of the other class. There were just an odd one or two people scribbling notes. I sighed and leaned back in my seat just waiting for the bell to ring.
Buzz.
I sat up suddenly, looking around to see everyone packing away. Seems I fell a sleep. I jumped up, grabbing my bag, not having to pack anything away. The sooner I got out of here, the sooner I could find Tanya. She was nice, and was up for anything. The one thing I couldn't stand was her voice, it was so nasal, and annoyed the hell out of me. But like I said, up for anything.
The day dragged on and on, and all I could think about was lunch. I knew it would be terrible. Bella was back today meaning she and Emmett would sit together at lunch. This also meant that everyone else would be sat with her. I had been sitting with them for the past week, partly because I didn't want to listen to Tanya's annoying voice and partly because I wanted to hear if they said anything about bella. Bella probably wouldn't have told Emmett, but I had to make sure. She didn't. But if everyone else was sitting with Bella, it meant I was too, and I was dreading it. I wouldn't be able to even look at her, without feeling sick at the thought I had done that too her. I wasn't raised to be like that. Yet, I still did it. My mother would be so ashamed of me if she ever found out.
Well she's not going to is she? A voice in the back of my head called out.
Well this was just great. I have voices talking to me. But it was right. Mom wasn't going to find out. I wouldn't let her. Again, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. This was becoming a strange habit.
Everytime I thought about what I did to her, all I could picture was her face when she smashed against the concrete at the bottom of the stairs. I could remember what it sounded like. The crack as her leg snapped. The thwack as her head hit the ground. I could still remember the moment of dread I felt when she didn't move. How I thought she might have been dead. I could feel the relief that she was okay and that no one had seen me push her.
I could also see my Mother and Fathers face, as I thought of how they would react if I told them it was my entire fault. I could imagine the shock that I could do this to anyone. I could see the disappointment in her face. I could see the anger in my Fathers face. I could imagine how he would be disappointed as well. It made me feel ashamed.
Then, just like that, I decided I'd lay off of Bella, leave her alone till her leg had healed at least. Maybe lay off her all together. I never really knew why I did things to Bella; I just did really. She came to school one day, and to get a few laughs out of some one the soccer team I tripped her over, and from then on I just went on with it.
In that moment, I decided it had to stop; I would talk to Bella, apologise for my actions, and just hope she could maybe forgive me so I could maybe get over this, and stop moping over what I did to her.
Suddenly I started walking towards the cafeteria with a purpose. I was going to apologise to Bella. Once I walked through the doors I hit a minor complication. Tanya ran up to me and threw her arms around me, asking for me to come sit with her. I really didn't want to. If I had to sit and listen to her and her stupid friends talk about clothes or make up or whatever the hells going on in Heat magazine, I may just punch them all.
I pried Tanya's hands off me, and pushed her away slightly. I hadn't realised until now how much perfume she had on, and it really made me want to throw up.
"I was going to sit with my family today Tanya," I said to her as nicely as I could, but still a frown appeared on her face.
"But Eddie," she wined in her nasal voice. "Last week you promised me you would sit with us. You've been sitting with your family all week, can't you come and sit with your girlfriend?" she pleaded with me taking me hand in hers.
I quickly removed my hand I backed away a little. "Sorry Tanya, but I'm sitting with my family," and hopefully, getting the chance to talk to Bella. She huffed and walked away, but not before I heard her mutter 'stupid Eddie' under her breath. I chuckled at her foolishness and rushed off to sit at out usual table, only to realise I was the first there.
I slumped down into my chair, waiting for them to arrive. I was starting to get impatient when eventually Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Bella walked through the door. Emmett was helping Bella, and I could see how much it was annoying her. I almost wanted to laugh at her expression, if not for the look of pain in her face. I cause that pain. I suddenly felt even worse then I had ten minutes ago. How could I talk to her now? Especially since there were four other people here. I chickened out. I couldn't do this. I couldn't admit to her that I had no real reason for doing all those things. Sure I could come up with some lame excuse for myself, but I couldn't for Bella. If I was going to apologise I was going to do it properly.
They all sat down all greeting me apart from Bella. Emmett asked if anyone wanted anything to eat, and surprisingly, Bella asked for a burger and fries. I never would have thought she could eat so much, she was so tiny, but Emmett just laughed at her and agreed. I said I'd go with him to help get other peoples food.
"So, em, how's Bella?" I asked Emmett rather awkwardly as we stood in the que. He had been silent for a few minutes and it was starting to become awkward, and that was just the first thing that popped into my head.
He gave me a sad smile. "She's okay, but I can see it still hurts. I really don't think she should be at school, but Charlie won't let her stay home alone, and I'm not aloud to stay with her, so this is the best way I can keep an eye on her. I really worry about her. She's always in and out of the hospital, but the other times were usually minor things. Like she'd sprain her wrist, or need a few stitches in her arm, but she's never broken a major bone. The fact that there is ice all over the school just makes it worse, and I can't keep a eye on her all the time. What if she slips on the ice? She could hurt her leg, and make it harder for it to heal. Luckily, the doctor said it was a clean break, so that will make it easier for the bone to heal."
I was shocked. Emmett was always the big strong type, and yet here he had just laid out all his fears for his sister, who may have been older then him, was still like his little sister. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to make sure she was safe, and now that something serious had happen, he felt weak at the fact he didn't do his job properly.
Suddenly I had an idea. I had biology next, and so did Bella. I could offer to walk her to biology. One, so I could get Bella alone, and maybe work up the courage to talk to her, and two so Emmett would feel a bit better.
I smiled at him. "Do you want me to walk Bella to biology? I could make sure she's okay and doesn't fall?"
This seemed to make Emmett happy. He smiled back at me.
"Thank you," he said, just as the line started to move.
We grabbed the food quickly and walked back to the table. Bella seemed to be laughing with Alice about something, but she soon stopped when she saw me. That made me frown. Why would she feel like she couldn't even so much as laugh or even smile in my presence. She soon brightened up slightly though, she turned to Emmett and picked up the big burger and fries off the tray, earning laughs from everyone.
Lunch went by slowly, nothing much happened. I sat and picked at my pizza and fires, whilst listening to other people's conversation. I barley ate anything, and was extremely happy once the bell rang. I got up to help Bella, just as Emmett was telling her he couldn't go with her.
"Sorry Bells, but my lessons on the opposite side of the school, so Edward sad he would help you, and make sure you get to your lesson properly," Emmett told her. She didn't look happy with that, although she quickly covered it up by giving him a sweet smile.
"Oh no, that's okay, I will be fine Emmett. I can walk 10 metres by myself," she said to him.
"Yes you may, but that's when both your legs are in one piece, and the floors not covered with ice," he smiled down at her, knowing he was right. Everyone knew that even then Bella was never the most stable person. She huffed and agreed, with an irritated look on her face, and all Emmett did was chuckle at her foolishness. He handed me her bag and we set off, me walking slightly behind her to make sure she didn't fall. I never would have thought I'd be doing anything like this. Just last week I would have rather been caught dead then be seen walking with Bella to her lesson, let alone carrying her bag.
This was it; I had to tell her. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I couldn't do it. I don't know why, I just couldn't. I wanted to apologise, I just couldn't admit to what I had done. So I shut my mouth and carried on walking, both Bella and I ignoring each other.
We reached the biology lab pretty quick, thankfully without Bella falling over. I handed her, her bag and just sat down, putting my head in my hands and sighing, thinking about how much of a coward I could be.
Thanks for reading,
DestroyTheStorm