A/N: So sorry for the delay. Thanks for all the reviews and support! We're going to enter some creepy territory from this chapter on….but lemons as well…so it should help. *smile*
Chapter 19 – Frustrations and Fear
"Wow." Alice mouthed emphatically across the door. We listened to Charlie give Edward an ultimatum, their voices growing quiet before the rumbling of a car engine signaled his leaving.
Bewildered and speechless, I walked back to the sofa and sat down.
"Can you believe that? Your dad sure knows how to lay down the law, huh?" Lil Firecracker giggled from her own use of pun.
"Yeah, yeah." I grabbed a blanket and rolled my eyes, curling up beside her.
"Ok girly, you start talking… I'll massage." Alice listened intently as I recalled the day's events, rubbing my shoulders like a pro. Her pampering was cathartic, a comfort to me just as Edward's support had been earlier. Both of their friendships were vital, holding unbelievable importance given the fact I had known them for such little time.
"You know, you're like the sister I never had," I admitted.
"Aw. Ditto, Bella." She hugged me tight. "So, enough about work, and Creepo, let's talk turkey!"
I giggled in return. "Ok. Sounds like a plan."
"From what I figure, Carlisle must have invited your dad to Thanksgiving dinner sometime tonight, after you came home with Edward?"
"Yeah, I suppose, but why? Especially with everything else going on…"
She interrupted as usual. "Didn't you say Edward was stuck by your side the entire day? And you just heard Charlie questioning him..."
"Of course I heard, and I can't believe he's meddling in my personal live! I suppose he's never had the opportunity before, but still!" I was shocked at Charlie's behavior.
"Well, they must have talked about the two of you specifically. I'm sure your dad had questions about Edward, and maybe the Cullen's too? Carlisle probably recognized that and extended the invitation for Thanksgiving. It's less than a month away, and it will be the perfect opportunity to meet everyone. Especially the way that Carlisle and Esme always celebrate the holidays. "
Shaking my head, I tried to find the right words.
"Bella? Are you alright? Did you have other plans for Thanksgiving?"
"What? Yes…I mean no…we didn't have plans. I just can't wrap my mind around the past few days. First, Edward comes back totally different, saying he's ready to move on with his life. Next, James fracks Ramona and loses his job, blaming me and behaving like a sociopath. Then, Charlie shows up and sees me with Edward, becoming an overprotective dad-cop with a gun. And now I'm deciphering why we're having Thanksgiving dinner with the Cullens!"
Alice's dark brown eyes mirrored mine in calculation, but her increasing smile was the exact opposite of my frown. "You're right. But isn't this exciting? Besides, we can spend Turkey Day together!"
"Always the optimist," I agreed. "Let's just hope Edward hasn't decided he wants nothing to do with me by then."
"Like that will happen. I'm surprised he hasn't come back over here! It was awesome he was there with you today Bella. Hey! Why was he with you? Were you two going out after work?"
I smiled at her consistent prying. "No, we were discussing Ms. Hiller. Speaking of, did you finish the psychological testing?"
"As a matter of fact I did. I forwarded you the full report. I'm sure you'll see it once you log on." She nodded.
"Great. What did you think overall?"
"It was strange, actually. Her scores for psychotic disorder spectrums were not really high, as you had expected, but her anxiety ratings were through the roof. There was definitely some moderate depression symptomatology too." Alice was in work mode.
"Interesting," I agreed. "I know I didn't ask you this before, but did you happen to screen for PTSD symptoms?"
"Not specifically looking for that, no, but the elevated scores on the anxiety questions could be applicable. I'd need to do some different tests. You think she's been traumatized?"
"Maybe. Let me read over the report in detail to be sure," I noted.
"OK. Just let me know if you want me to perform more detailed tests for PTSD." She grinned.
"I will. Hey, do you mind if I go take a look now?"
"Tonight? It's almost midnight Bella. Don't you need to rest?"
"I can't sleep yet. I'm kind of a night owl."
"Well do you mind if I use your shower then? You can pull it up while I do that, and then we can watch a movie together until you fall asleep!"
"Sounds good," I agreed reluctantly.
The water from the shower started running in the bathroom just as Alice began singing her own rendition of Taylor Swifts' 'You Belong with Me'. I laughed to myself, pulling up Ms. Hillers file on the laptop. Looking over her testing report, the pieces of a complicated PTSD presentation seemed to fit. Having Alice perform a few scales specific to that disorder would be a priority this week.
Before she finished in the shower, my obsession once again got the best of me. I quickly logged on, hoping Edward was waiting.
[E Cullen is online]
[B: You there?]
[E: Yes! I missed you.]
[B: *smile* Thanks. But I can't stay.]
[E: I figured. Where is she?}
[B: She's serenading me in the shower.]
[E: LOL. What's she singing?]
[B: Do you like country music?]
[E: Um, no!]
[B: Haha. Well you don't want to know.]
[E: Gotcha. So...are you gonna be alright tonight?]
[B: Yes...I feel much better. Alice gave me a neck and shoulder massage.]
[E: Hmm. Girl on girl! Why didn't you bang on the wall?]
[B: Very funny. Hey, thank you again for being there today.]
[E: I'm glad I was. I hope I can always be there for you.]
[B: Me too.]
[E: So…your dad's nice.]
[B: LMAO. Um...liar!]
[E: Haha. I can't blame him for protecting you, even if it's from me.]
[B: I don't need protection from you.]
[E: I don't ever want to hurt you, Bella.]
[B: You won't.]
[E: I hope you're right.]
[B: What does that mean?]
[E: Well, I've been wasting life for a while now, but I'm trying to change that, for good reason.]
[B: Oh yeah?]
[E: Yeah. For you. You're the reason, the reason I want to try living again.]
[B: *smile* Well I like that.]
[E: Me too. So how do you suggest we begin?]
[B: Huh?]
[E: Friendship, Dating?]
[B: Good question. We did seem to start backwards, huh?]
[E: Yeah. Instant attraction, profession of love...everything else will be a letdown.]
[B: Not necessarily.]
[E: Naughty, Bella.]
[B: Hahaha. Ugh! Alice is getting out of the shower. I need to go, Edward.]
[E: Wait! So…will you go out with me? Like on a date?]
[B: Hmm. Maybe a double date, or triple even, for starters.]
[E: I'll take it.]
[B: OK. *sigh* Goodnight, Blue Eyes.]
[E: Sigh…Goodnight, Beautiful.]
"…..Why can't you see-e-ee…You belong with me-e-ee? Hey! Who were you talking to?" Alice bounced out of the shower, all five foot one inches of her. I wasn't about to share my private conversations with Edward with her. Those moments were still mine.
"Who were you singing to?" I giggled and ran back into the living room for ice cream and a movie. She kept looking at me with a questioning smile, but amazingly didn't interrogate.
Feeling generous, I gave her something to stew over. "Actually, Chica, I have been thinking about the triple date with you and Jas, and Rose and Emmett."
"And?" She took a deep breath.
"I'm in, if Edward will agree."
Hold your ears.
Alice's shriek made Rio hide his head under the pillows. She hugged me tightly and kept squealing, managing to speak only between fits. "You know he will, B!"
###***###
Numbness awaited me on Tuesday morning, prompting my reluctant agreement to stay home. This was much to the pleasure of my dad, Carlisle, and Edward. The three men in my life who weren't satisfied unless I agreed to 'taking it easy'.
So much for chivalry. This sucks!
Edward brought coffee and croissants over for breakfast, at which time Alice informed him of her plans to coordinate a group outing.
Her lack of subtlety made him smile, brightening my mood immediately. "Sounds like fun, If Bella feels up to it."
Am I hearing this correct?
What does he mean if I feel up to it?
My irritation was mounting. "Sure, once I'm free of this incapacitating illness I've apparently been infected with, although unbeknownst to me." I frowned, hopefully making my point. "I refuse to play the victim in this you guys."
"You're right, because you're not," Edward apologized. "So, when would you like to go, Bella?" Edward leaned on his elbows across the counter with his head down, looking under his lashes in a flirtatious gesture.
My heart fluttered from the proximity, causing me to stutter. "I…uh…I'll leave that up to the social events diva herself."
"Very funny," Alice chirped. "Soon! But let me ask Rose and Emmett, and I'll get back to ya."
"And what about Jas?" I asked.
"I'll work on him too." She winked.
"Oh I'm sure you will, Shorty." Edward grinned, finishing off his croissant. He took the last bite while giving me a 'I know you're turned on' look, just before walking out the door.
###***###
Carlisle called mid-morning, checking on my state of mind. He had increased security throughout the facilities and grounds, even having an officer attend the front gate entrance. I thanked him for his concern and sternly held my position that I would be returning to my duties the next day. Mike had agreed to check-in on my patients, as well as Alice, so one day without rounds wasn't too hard for me to endure. Even with that knowledge, I felt guilty. Carlisle had received a call back from James' residency program and had contacted his medical school. Initially they had seemed hesitant to talk, but when Dr. Cullen elaborated on the situation, the medical school finally divulged some pertinent information regarding his training. Apparently Creepo had been in some conflict with a female medical student during his pre-clinical years. She had threatened harassment and James was brought before the academic review committee and the ombudsmen. The good news was that he complied with their boundaries and instructions, finishing the clinical years without further problems.
So at least he responded to authority in the past.
###***###
Charlie pulled onto the drive, bringing a sub sandwich for lunch and dog biscuits for Rio. The look on his face revealed more concern, with dark circles surrounding his bloodshot eyes. This, combined with the snacks for Rio, signaled that his news wasn't good.
"Dad, you look awful."
"Thanks, baby."
"Just sayin'," I added.
"I'll be fine, Bella. How are you?"
"I'm ok. I feel much better today. So, what's the news?"
His frown made my anxiety spike again. "He wasn't at his apartment. In fact, most of his things were gone. His car was left at the complex, so we have no idea what he's driving," Charlie explained.
"Wow. I can't believe this is happening. Did Carlisle tell you about the girl from his medical school class?"
"Yeah, I spoke with him first thing. Listen, Forks and Port Angeles are not that big, if he's around here, we'll find him."
Nodding my head in confidence, I mustered a smile. "Thanks, Dad, for everything."
"It's my job, to take care of you. And to catch criminals. This time I plan to do both. I'll be honest, when I was worried over you taking this job it was because of the crazies. I never thought about co-workers being a problem. Well, not like that anyway."
His tone implied more than just James, and I knew he meant Blue Eyes.
"Me either, but most of my co-workers have been great. Some of them have been more than great."
"I bet." He frowned.
Did he just raise one eyebrow at me? That's my move!
"Are we going to talk about it?" I finally broke.
"About what?" Charlie was always better at the silent treatment, and I was usually great at it.
"Hmm, I don't know, maybe about us going to the Cullen's for Thanksgiving. Or about you talking to Edward last night, or about you pushing him to explain our relationship?"
"Hmm, no, I wasn't planning on talking about that."
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, crossing my arms in the most stubborn Swan posture which had been passed down for generations.
"Fine. You explain it then, Bella."
"Explain what?"
"You're relationship with the Cullen boy."
"You mean Edward. I don't feel like there's anything to explain, yet. "
"That's what he said."
"Well it's true. We're just friends, and we're coworkers," I explained.
"But you care about him?"
I looked in my dad's eyes, seeing the love I've always been able to count on. How could I explain to him the feelings I instantly felt when I had met Edward? Emotions which even I didn't quite comprehend?
"I do, very much."
"What about the rumors, the fact that people are scared of him?" he asked.
"Since when do you listen to gossip, Dad?"
"Since it might affect my daughter." His tone was sharp.
"Edward does have a history. Don't we all? But it's something he's trying to put behind him. He's a good person, not someone for you to worry over."
Charlie grunted under his breath, noticeably frustrated. "Anyone who my daughter is in love with is someone to worry over."
I choked on a gulp of water, having a coughing spell. "What? What did you just say?"
"I saw the way you looked at him Bella. I've seen your eyes and watched your smile since the day you were born. I think I know love when it's written all over your face."
My blush deepened. "I don't know how to describe what I feel, but love works I suppose. I am sorry I haven't told you about him. I just don't know what's going to happen, and I didn't want to jinx it."
"Well, if you care that much about him, he must have some good qualities."
I laughed nervously. Charlie walked over and wrapped his arm around me, whispering in my ear. "He's an idiot if he doesn't love you back, sweetheart. And if he hurts you, I have plans for that too."
Rolling my eyes, I hugged him. "Speaking of plans, what about Thanksgiving dinner?"
"Oh, that. Yeah, well, Carlisle felt like we needed to get to know each other, especially since his son is in love with my daughter."
Another fit of coughing and sputtering erupted.
"Bella, I hope you're able to handle your water better in front of Edmund."
My deadly stare caused Charlie to grin, just like the tease he was.
At least he doesn't look scared anymore.
"Carlisle said that?" I probed.
"Not in exact words, but yes. Do you have a problem going there for the holidays? I know we usually do something together."
"No, It's good. I think it's a great idea. If you can call Edward by his right name!"
"Ok, ok. Edward it is."
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome, baby. Now, let's go over a few things. "
Charlie opened a bag full of self defense items, dumping them out onto the dining room table.
Here we go.
"Great, this is just like me leaving for college all over again."
"Yeah, and where are all the things I gave you now?" he countered.
"Um…"
"Exactly. Now…this is a screecher alarm, you just push the button, and it can be heard a ¼ mile away. You'd have to keep it in your bag or the car. Here is pepper spray, which I know we've went over before, but this one looks like a pager, so you can wear it on you."
"Uh-huh."
"Bella, I'm serious. Until we know how crazy this James is, I want you to wear it."
"Fine, I'll wear it."
"Thank you. And keep your cell phone with you at all times. I'll check in with you when I have more news, baby. I also have the official police report for you to sign, but I'll bring that over later."
Charlie left, and I managed to take Rio for a walk along the lake without too much angst. The fresh air was invigorating, bringing back my determination to not let James ruin my life. I was going to press charges against him and move on. Hopefully he would do the same.
###***###
The rest of the week was busy with work and hovering from the three men in my life. Make that five, since Jasper and Emmett joined in the festivities during the day. Jasper insisted on walking me to my office after lunch, and Emmett would check in several times before leaving. Rose and Alice just smiled at the behavior, knowing the extra attention was slowly driving me batty.
Edward couldn't have been more doting, more understanding, or more thoughtful. I hated it. Despite my desire to move on with my life, and with him, fate had other plans. The events from the week had transfigured him into an excellent caretaker, but a horrible boyfriend. He never argued with me or provided sarcastic remarks. He even went out of his way to allow me every concession. Our nighttime chats followed suit, the most intriguing topics being that of Rio or what the weather would be like the next day. A few times I tried to initiate touching his arm or holding his hand, but even his reaction was more paternalistic than romantic.
By the middle of week two I had reached my limit. I stopped chatting with Edward at night, which seemed to bother him mildly from his reactions in the mornings. He still met me outside everyday with a hot cup of coffee. But instead of questioning me, he would bring up subjects to make me laugh, or talk about work. The more this continued, the more I felt like our relationship was nothing more than superficial. I no longer had the energy to sustain faux conversations, and my responses to him became robotic.
Eventually, by some miracle, BlueEyes finally snapped on Thursday night. I was sitting in my living room watching TV when my cell rang. I thought it was Charlie calling for his nightly check-in, but the screen flashed with a text from Edward.
'Why won't you IM with me?'
The anger and frustration from the past two weeks boiled over.
I typed back, 'Why aren't you man enough to come over and ask me in person?'
Don't hold your breath on that one.
Three light knocks sounded at the door.
Oh my God.
Walking over with my cell phone, I opened it with the safety chain in place. An angry Edward glared back at me. Closing the door again, I quickly unfastened the latch and prompted him to enter.
"What the hell, Bella?"
Unngh. He's hot when he's angry. I missed that.
"What are you talking about, Edward?"
He slammed the door, walking into the room with both hands in his pockets.
"What am I talking about? You have barely spoken to me all week, and you haven't been on the IM in five days. Are you mad at me? What did I do?"
"Nothing, Edward, you haven't done anything."
"That doesn't sound like it. You sound pissed. Haven't I been here for you? Is there something else you want me to do?"
"No! I don't want you to do anything! I already have a dad, Edward, and tons of friends."
"Huh? What is that supposed to mean?"
"I thought you were going to move on with your life? I thought we were going to try and move on, but you've been treating me like I'm some fragile child! I'm sick of it."
"You're sick of me?" He looked dejected and placating, just as he had looked for most of the week.
"Maybe. I'm sick of this! And you! Just go, get out!" I pushed him in the chest towards the door. I was angry at him, at the situation, and at myself.
"No." Edward stood his ground, his blue eyes now angry and sparkling with silver.
"Yes!" I pushed him again, but he grabbed my arms and spun me around in response. Pinning me against the door instead, he raised both of my wrists helplessly.
His body pressed into mine while I struggled against the grasp he held, our breathing was labored. I was staring at his neck, afraid to look up. My arousal for him caused me to hate myself more. I couldn't even be angry without wanting him.
"Bella," he whispered under his breath, the warm air hitting my ear and my neck. His lips touched my forehead, placing a light kiss in surrender.
I stopped struggling, feeling the heat radiate between our bodies. Finally looking up, the pent up desire in his eyes met my own. Raw, unbridled lust emanated from their depths. He released my hands as they fell slowly around his shoulders and neck. Pulling him to me, I tasted his lips between mine.
Like honey.
Our mouths teased each other. The irritation, fear, and annoyance from the past two weeks melted away with each second. Edward bit my bottom lip, causing me to gasp in response. His tongue licked the damage, which I gladly offered. We deepened the kiss, my hands pulling his hair as his fingers made their way down my body. He grabbed my thigh and raised it against his hip, moaning into my mouth from the deeper contact it provided our bodies.
Buzz. Buzz.
Ignore it.
Edward stopped to listen, and I took advantage by licking his neck, devouring the soft skin just behind his ear.
.
Frack!
"Is that your phone?" he asked.
"Huh?" I tried once more to ignore it.
"Your phone, Bella. It's on the floor."
.
Fine! Ugh!
"It's probably Charlie," I groaned.
Edward released me from the door, my body going cold in rebellion. I whined in agony as I bent down to pick it up, giggling when Edward reached around me from behind to hold me while I answered. His head rested against my shoulder, his hands brushing my hair to the side for more access.
That's better.
"Hello?" I spoke lightly.
No answer.
"Hello? Dad?" I asked again.
Silence.
In the middle of all the enjoyment I had forgotten to check the screen for the ID. Turning it over, I read the words 'Unknown Caller'.
I was about to hang up when heavy breathing ensued on the other end. I froze as it grew louder and louder, turning to look at Edward in fear.
I mouthed the words slowly, handing him the phone with care. "I think it's him!"
A/N: Review please? I'll have Edward throw you against the door and thank you personally!