A/N: Wow, I received lots of comments over the Rehab issue – I love it!

Thanks to those of you who send me support via PMs, it means more than you know!

SM owns Twilight

Chapter 26 – Reality and Rehab

"What is it?" Edward asked.

I hung up the phone and bit my lip, mulling over the words from Charlie. "It was about James, it seems he's been in rehab."

"Rehab, huh? So I guess he'll be sober enough to notice when his ass is rotting in jail, then." Edward swore.

"Yeah, I suppose."

"What do you mean, you suppose? You're not going to let him off, Bella."

"What? No, no. I'm just shocked - I didn't pick up on the substance use. But, it was hard to see past the Creepo factor."

"Well, you can't catch everything, Dr. Swan, even if you are one heck of a shrink." He grinned. "Didn't you tell me that once? Not to hold yourself to such high standards?"

I punched Edward playfully in the arm. "You think I'm a good shrink?" Compliments from him were something I never tired of. An inner part of me continued to struggle with believing them, but I longed for them anyway.

"I think you're more than good! And you're sexy." He winked playfully.

My blush appeared on cue. "Thanks, baby. I can't wait to confront him."

"I know. And I want to come with you," Edward stated for the ninety ninth time.

"I know. But I want to confront him myself," I reiterated for the hundredth.

Seeing James would be difficult in itself. Observing the temper of Blue Eyes over someone as harmless as Tyler made me wary of him tagging along for the confrontation of a true jerk like James.

Edward sighed in disappointment, stroking my leg softly. "Can I at least be there? I don't have to go inside with you, when you meet with him for the confrontation."

His attention to my body was a sneaky tactic, and unfortunately I was completely vulnerable. "Ok, Edward, if it's fine with Dad, you can be there."

His face drooped in response to my acceptance. "Well, I don't want to be there if I'm not wanted."

What?

You've met your match in this one.

"I want you to be there with me. I do want to talk with James on my own, it's something I need to do, but I would love for you to go with me, for support."

Edward smiled in agreement. "Good, I've already taken the day off."

"Of course you have. You're my boy scout – always prepared."

He grinned with genuine enthusiasm. "I have something prepared for you now." His hand stroked higher up my thigh.

"You do?" I shifted in my chair to allow better access.

"Mmm Hmm." Edward continued his progress with meticulous attention to my body. I joined him in the foreplay as we started pulling each other closer, our lips finding their way.

Bzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzz.

The noise stopped any further enjoyment, causing Rio to jump from underneath our feet. He nearly knocked over the table in attempts to get inside the cottage.

"Rio!" I screamed, falling out of my chair. Edward steadied me from his seat and laughed.

"You ok there, grace?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes before turning to Rio. "What's wrong with you?" I continued to scold him for his antics, but he was determined. He remained at the patio door and barked wildly.

"I think someone's at the front door, beautiful," Edward mumbled while releasing me from his grasp.

"Oh now it's beauty? It was grace just a second ago. You're such a player," I taunted back as a shimmied from his embrace to answer the door.

"I only want to play with you, Bella!" Blue Eyes called after me.

That remark made me grin. I could barely contain my giddiness from flirting with Edward. I opened the door, still beaming.

"Hey, Bella. Wow, you look like you're having fun. Enjoying your Saturday?" Tyler stood at the front door.

Oh no.

My smile faded fast. "Oh, Tyler, hello. What's going on?" I glanced nervously around my shoulder, hoping that Edward wouldn't come inside from the patio.

"I just wanted to say thanks, again, and to say goodbye. I'm heading back to Seattle this afternoon."

"Who is it, baby?" Edward asked as he walked into the room with Rio by his side. Rio was raising the hair on his back, facing towards Tyler. He stood firmly in front of Edward.

I guess we know who you prefer Rio, huh?

"It's Tyler," I called out, turning to see Edward's grimace just in time. I tried my best to give him the 'be nice' look I used to receive from Charlie whenever my teenage mouth had been primed for a sarcastic remark. "He's heading back to school today and wanted to say goodbye," I added for clarification.

"I see," Edward responded. "Have a safe trip back."

"Thanks, Edward." Tyler nodded.

"Would you care for something to drink, Tyler? I only have lemonade, water, or beer," I interrupted the awkwardness that was forming.

So much for comfort with silence.

"Lemonade would be great." Tyler walked past Edward to the patio.

Blue Eyes looked at me and rolled his eyes, following Tyler outside. I chuckled because I knew Edward was judging his choice of beverage. He was adorable when he was arrogant.

I poured the lemonade and grabbed Edward a beer. I could hear them talking outside. Of course, my curiosity got the best of me, and I started adding the ice as quietly as possible. Their words drifted inside from the French door which was left slightly ajar.

"So, Tyler, you think you've made any headway in your career decision?" Edward's voice was tense.

"Maybe. I'm going to do another month in Neurology next semester, and then I'll choose. I just don't want to make the wrong decision." Tyler remained as polite as ever.

"Good idea," Edward responded. His attempt at polite conversation was true to form.

Less is more.

"I can't think of much worse than picking the wrong field of medicine and going to work unhappy every day," Tyler continued.

"I can," Edward responded dryly.

By this time I was at the door with the drinks. The confusion on Tyler's face mirrored the confusion in my mind.

What is Edward talking about?

"Great, thanks, Bella!" Tyler stood and grabbed his glass.

I sat beside Edward as the conversation moved on to lighter topics such as the upcoming baseball season. Tyler was a talkative guy, and 'sports' was such a universal theme, so I didn't have to add much to the discussion. Instead, my mind was working overtime. I knew Edward had told me there was more to his past when he first opened up to me. But the issues with James had taken over all of our attention. Plus, the intimacy between us was growing. I had felt no reason to push him before, or to elaborate, until now. Now I was intrigued. The look on his face when he had answered Tyler was one of true regret. He seemed to be remembering something a million miles away, or maybe just a few hours.

Was he thinking about Tanya?

Did he regret his decision to move on?

Think logically, Bella. Maybe he realized he was unhappy in his job.

After thirty minutes, Tyler stood to leave. "I guess I'm going to head out, guys. Thanks again for being so wonderful to my Dad, Bella, and for helping me."

"Anytime. I'll be sure to follow-up with your Dad once he's discharged." I walked him to the door and returned to the patio.

Edward was leaning back on the two rear legs of his chair, nursing a beer. The scene reminded me of the night I had first watched him through the window. "Should I drop my water all over the floor again?" I joked, watching him from the doorway.

"Hmm. If you'd like. But this time I won't leave you to run away and hide." He patted the seat beside him. "Come, sit by me."

I joined him once again and sat in silence while we looked out over the lake. The sounds of nature surrounded us. Our comfort in being alone together, saying nothing, was natural. It felt as if we had known each other for years, even though we hadn't. That was the strange reality. There were still so many things I didn't know about him, and vice versa.

"Edward, you know I love you, right?"

He brought his chair back down onto all four legs, leaning toward me with his elbows on his knees. His chin rested on his hands while he seemed to give the question deep thought.

Ugh!

"Edward…" I pleaded.

Finally, he smirked, flashing me his wicked grin. "Yes, I do." With those words, he pulled me over onto his lap in one move. He tangled his hands in my hair before pressing my head against his chest. "And I love you, beautiful, forever."

The sound of his heart beat was hypnotic. His heart was mine.

Was it?

"Good." I sighed. "I heard you talking with Tyler earlier, when I was inside. Thank you for being civil."

"Yep, that's me, the winner for Mr. Congeniality."

I smiled and giggled against his neck. "You'd win more than that in a contest, Blue Eyes."

"Like?" His ego sounded interested.

"Your happy trail alone should clench the swim suit contest for ya." My index finger traced against his tee, following the path that covered the skin I loved so much.

"Mmm…" Edward squeezed me tighter.

"So, when you told Tyler that you could think of worse things than choosing the wrong specialty, what did you mean?" I asked the question tentatively, hoping he wouldn't be angry.

Please open up to me.

"Ah, that," he answered, but didn't continue.

I propped myself up off of his chest in order to make eye contact. "Yes, that. Are you unhappy as a music therapist?"

A huge sigh came from Edward as he stared at me in return. He suddenly looked so vulnerable. "I love music, Bella. It's the one thing that I have always felt connected to, even during the ordeal with Tanya."

I sense a 'but,' here.

I continued to watch him, hoping he would continue on his own. The fact that he didn't caused my impatience to surface. "But you didn't answer my question. You're not 'happy' as a music therapist, are you?"

He looked at me in surrender. "I guess you could say that."

"Well, I did say it. But I'm more interested in what you would say," I countered.

"I wasn't happy, in general, until I met you." His resistance continued.

"You're such a hedger! That still doesn't answer the question." His lack of details drove me gradually insane.

"It's my past. You're my future. I'm happy now, so why discuss it?" he argued.

"I want to know you, Edward. And if things in your past made you unhappy, I'd like to know why. We can't move on together if we're not starting out together. Tell me, please."

"I should have told you before," he admitted.

"So tell me now."

Several minutes went by as I could see him debate within himself. When he lifted his face, his blue eyes were serene. There was a determination in them which I recognized. I knew he was going to tell me his secrets, and I hoped I could prove worthy of hearing them.

"I'm not a music therapist."

Huh?

"What?" I asked, confused. That was not what I expected to hear.

"I mean, I'm not only a music therapist. I have a license for music therapy, but that's not what I originally trained to do."

"Okay." I waited. My stomach was tied in knots.

"I'm…" he stalled. His brow furrowed, and I wondered if he was going to back away from the confession.

"You're…" I pressed.

"I'm a doctor, Bella."

"You're a doctor?" I repeated. His words echoed off of my own tongue while I processed the information.

"Yes."

Wow.

His intellect and ability to discuss the patients had always seemed too advanced for his education level. Now things made more sense. However, this was not the horrible revelation I was waiting for, or was it?

"Ok. You're a doctor. That explains a lot, you're ego aside." I tried to lighten the mood. "So why are you not practicing? Did something happen, causing you to lose your license? Is that why you're doing music therapy instead? Is that what you meant when you said things could be worse?"

Edward laughed uncomfortably. "No, it was nothing like that. I chose not to practice."

"What? Why?"

"You know why."

Tanya?

"You've got to be kidding. Please don't tell me you stopped pursuing your career over her."

"I didn't stop. I'm just not using it. I completed medical school, and residency. Dad insisted that I finish, even though my view of medicine had grown cynical and resentful. He developed his vision for the Retreat because of me, Bella. He wanted to show me that individuals could be treated and healed without the bureaucracy or the pharmaceutical owned medical facilities."

"Wait." I stopped him as the pieces fell into place. "You're a… psychiatrist?"

"Yes," he admitted bashfully.

I started rambling out loud, my thoughts spilling over. "You're the chief psychiatrist he planned on hiring to work here. The reason only locum tenens have been used. Carlisle has been waiting on you to change your mind. That's why everyone cringes whenever you're credentials are questioned. This is the huge family secret?"

"Yes." His eyes searched mine. I recognized that this was the last burden he had been hiding. And he wanted me to know. Now he was waiting on my reaction.

"What about all the shrink jokes, Edward?" It was my next thought, unsure of what else to say.

That made him smile. "Well, I've always believed in the saying – 'It takes one to know one'."

I punched him playfully in the arm once again. "I see."

We both smiled hesitantly, waiting on the other to speak.

"But you never took the job." I was incapable of winning the silence game with this man.

"No. I visited often, and continued to explain to Dad that I needed to be available for Tanya. He continued to insist he would wait. We finally came to the music therapy compromise, but it wasn't until you that he truly recruited for a full time psychiatrist. And I'm glad, because I can't be a psychiatrist, Bella."

"You are a psychiatrist, Edward."

"I can't function as one."

"And why is that?" I knew the answer he was going to give me, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"I couldn't even save my own girlfriend. Or get her the help when she needed it, before things went downhill. I may be many things, but I'm not a hypocrite."

"So when you talked with me about Tanya's de-compensation, that had all occurred during your medical school and residency?"

"Yes."

"And yet, with over ninety hour work weeks being the norm, not including studying, testing, and sleep deprivation, you didn't notice your girlfriend was having mood changes?" My words dripped with sarcasm.

"It doesn't matter. I should have seen it." He wasn't budging. The stubbornness in this man rivaled any jackass I'd ever read about.

"Really? Are you sure you're not a surgeon? Because your 'God complex' is one to be admired. What happened to the 'not holding ourselves to higher standards', Edward?"

That comment managed to strike a nerve. Edward untangled himself from me and stood. He had his back turned, staring into the night. "I stopped the futility of looking for her, Bella. I let it go. What more do you want from me?"

"Me? I don't want anything from you, Edward. I want something for you – happiness."

"I am happy."

"I saw your face today, when you told Tyler there were worse things than practicing in the wrong field. You meant your situation – not practicing at all. Your face was full of regret, Edward. If you're truly happy, then I wouldn't have seen that."

Edward turned to glare at me. He was irritated with the conversation now, but I couldn't stop.

"Furthermore, you have not 'let it go', because if you had, you wouldn't still be crucifying yourself over this woman! You can be a psychiatrist if you want to. And if you don't, then that's fine. But don't dare tell me that the reason you're not one is because you couldn't save her. It's not our jobs to save everyone. You know that. I had more patients die during my intern year than I care to remember. I'm sure, in some instances, my ignorance even assisted in their demise. But I continue to do my best to provide excellent care, and to learn from my mistakes."

"I'm sorry, Edward. But your future needs to be about what you want. Not what you think you deserve. Your self-deprecation is worse than my own."

Edward walked over to me and leaned down. Ever so gently, he kissed my forehead. "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For loving me," he answered.

"I'll always love you. No matter what you do. Your job is not who you are." We kissed softly, and I knew the conversation was over, for now. He had opened his heart to me, and I embraced it.

Walking into the building of City Hall, and the Kirkland Police Department, I could feel my pulse ringing in my ears. James had been in an adult inpatient recovery center in Kirkland since leaving the Retreat. During one of his therapy sessions, or maybe as one of his twelve steps, James had decided to come clean about his recent behavior. The series of events that followed had included him turning himself into the police officers of Kirkland.

Dad had explained this, which was all that he knew of the details, as we travelled. The two men I loved most in my life now flanked me on each side as we walked across the cool ceramic tiles.

Edward and Charlie had been amazingly supportive during the drive into the city. The thought of Edward's face when my Dad cut on the country music in the cruiser made me smile. Despite the fact that I'm sure his ears were bleeding internally, Blue Eyes never said a word. But now they were both very quiet, our footsteps echoing off the walls. My anxiety mounted.

After being processed and searched, the primary investigator asked me for a statement. We sat down in a small conference room, in front of an old desk with wooden veneer peeling off of the sides. Officer Todd was a balding, overweight gentleman with Coke-bottle glasses, but he was thorough. He took down every detail, including my conversations with James, the pictures, the video of the vandalism, and the phone call records. With each incident he noted the dates and times, never looking up from his notepad. Corroborations from Charlie or Edward were also taken when needed.

"Thank you, Ms. Swan," Officer Todd noted.

"It's Dr. Swan," Edward corrected him on my behalf.

And you wonder why I won't let you come in with James?

"I apologize, Dr. Swan, this has been most helpful." The officer was quite humble.

"No, thank you, Officer Todd. I'm so happy to be putting this behind me."

"Well, unfortunately, it won't be completely behind you, until after the hearing, and court dates. You are willing to testify, correct?"

"Of course she is," Edward and Charlie answered in unison. They stopped to look at each other before glancing in my direction. My glare must have been threatening, because they both diverted their eyes in response.

"Yes," I answered firmly, "I'm willing to testify. And I'm also willing to speak for myself."

The remainder of the report was uneventful. Officer Todd was hesitant to allow me to meet with James, but Charlie intervened. After twenty minutes outside the room, both of them returned. Charlie nodded without speaking, but I knew it meant he had won. We were left in the conference room alone for another few minutes.

"What's happening now?" Edward asked impatiently.

"They've agreed to let Bella talk with James, but only if James agrees to her visit," Dad answered matter-of-factly.

"He will," I responded in kind.

"How can you be sure?" Edward wondered. I could tell by his tone that a part of him didn't want me to meet with him.

"Because it's James."

Before I needed to explain further, Officer Todd returned to the door. "Dr. Swan?"

"Yes?"

"He's agreed to see you. His attorney advised against it, and insisted on being present."

"That's fine. Do we need to wait?" I didn't want to wait, but I would.

"No, um, he said that he preferred to meet with you alone – without representation." The officer was obviously uncomfortable with James' request.

"I see."

"We will of course have security and cameras running," he added for reassurance.

"Lead the way," I answered despondently. I wanted to get this over with. The mere thought of him waiting for me in anticipation sent chills down my spine.

Edward and Charlie hugged me before I left them behind, following Officer Todd down the corridor.

We entered the visitation room at the far end of the hall. There were three areas for visitors, with clear plastic windows between the inmates and the visitor's side. Each area had a conversation vent for talking. The first two chairs were empty when I glanced across the room. An officer stood in the corner, motioning towards the third chair which was designated for me. Across from the chair, smiling through the plastic barrier, I saw James.

I slowly walked over to the window and sat down.

"Hello, Bells."

A/N: I hope you guys aren't too angry for the delay in Creepo's Confrontation. BlueEyes had to reveal his final secret, and it was a biggie! Reviews are like kisses - I'm puckered up and waiting!