Blood, beautiful, bold, red blood. Life-giving blood that flows throughout the entire body, pumped by the single heart, which is about the size of a human fist. Blood. He had never really looked at blood, never took the time to examine it closely, to feel it…. It was beautiful, such a deep color, he loved it. It was warm, so very warm, and flowing from his hands to the floor. He looked at all this blood, and he smiled.
So very, very happy.
Blood, sweet, red blood, all over him, warming him. Blood, from the body, still warm, still full of life. Blood staining his clothes, his clothes that were not white. Finally, something unclean, impure, something not perfect, something black, not white. It was silent in these moments as he stared at the blood, and it was perfect.
"Smith." But the moments passed.
Smith looked up to see Brown and Jones still staring at them, but not with their real eyes. Staring at him with big black eyes, but Smith didn't really notice this.
"You dropped this." Brown said, handing him something.
It was gun, still hot from firing it recently. Smith grabbed it slowly, the blood dripping from his hands onto the gun. He slid his hands down the barrel of the thing; it was so smooth, so perfect, and so black. Smith smiled at this gun as well, being as curios as to stare down into the barrel of the gun, even though he knew this was highly dangerous, he didn't care. He held the gun close, to even hold it up to his face so he could feel the heat.
Jones and Brown were smiling at him, with their big black eyes. Jones and Brown…such familiar faces, such familiar names. Smith smiles back at them. This is another sweet moment where it is silent, and the three men in suits just stare at each other. But soon Jones and Brown turned away, and began walking away, it was then Smith noticed he was in a hallway, and Jones and Brown were walking to the other end. Smith watched them leave him again, but this time they stopped at the end, and looked back, waiting for him. Them…waiting for him.
Smith smiled and began to walk towards them, but it trip over something, a sort of tug on his leg. Smith stopped to see what it was. He dropped his gun, and backed into the wall. And Jones and Brown only smiled.
Neo lay on the floor, staining the world with his blood. Lying on his back, looking up with those happy brown eyes. Neo heaved for breath, coughing up blood, as he bled from his neck, his sides, and chest. Smith looked at Neo, and Neo looked back. But there was nothing in those eyes, no happiness or curiosity. They were empty and staring at him, asking him nothing. Just…staring up at him. Neo reached for Smith, grabbing his leg. There were eight holes in Neo's chest.
"He's leaving, you know." Jones said.
"He'll be gone soon." Brown said.
"We better leave, before he comes back."
"Yes, before he comes back."
Smith looked at them, terrified, and they smiled at him. His hands began shaking, and he didn't even know he had fallen to his knees next to Neo. He looked at Neo, searching for the Neo he knew. The Neo with something in his eyes, something he did not possess. But this…this… This was not Neo, this was a shell, an empty shell of himself.
And there was a pool of blood that was spreading towards Smith.
"We should go now." Jones said.
"Yes, we should leave." Brown said.
Neo was dying, right in front of him. Neo was bleeding, his blood on his hands, the warm blood he longed to have. Neo was on him…the life giving blood. Was there any way that this could somehow end? That this could just go away? Was there a way to let Neo live?
"Who did this to you…?" Smith whispered reaching out to Neo, wiping the blood from Neo's mouth.
But the shell of Neo did not respond, and laid there continuing to die.
"Who did this to you?" Smith yelled, grasping Neo's shoulders.
Neo gasped a bit, as the blood still flowed out of him. Neo stared at Smith, and Neo smiled. Smith fell back to the opposite wall of the hallway and stared back at Neo, shaking. He covered his eyes and put his head in his knees, not wanting to even look at Neo.
"Who did this to you?" Smith yelled again. "Did you do this to him?"
Smith grabbed the gun from the floor and pointed it at Jones and Brown. They in returned smiled at him, and Brown tilted his head.
"Did you?" Smith yelled.
"Of course not, Smith." Jones said.
"You did." Brown finished.
Smith lowered his gun as his mouth dropped open. He said nothing, and he expressed nothing as he turned to the dying Neo. He looked at his hands, closing his mouth, seeing the drying blood. Then he looked at Neo, and placed his hand in the little puddle of blood surrounding them. Neo smiled at him.
"This is how you always wanted it to be." Jones said.
"Remember? You wanted him to bleed to death." Brown said.
"Slice his weak flesh away. A slow death."
"Where he could feel it as his life was drained away."
"You wanted it to be raining when it happened."
"So your world could wash him completely away."
"And he would be gone, and it all would be over."
"This image is what kept you going."
"This thought, this dream. In his death, you would be free."
Neo still smiled, as if it was all really okay, lying there, dying. He coughed again, spitting out blood. And Smith…Smith stared at him with a blank expression, witnessing this entire thing. Smith did not scream, or shake, or cry, or fear, or anything at all. Smith just sat there, and watched Neo die.
"I will stay here, with you, Neo, okay?" Smith said, reaching closer to him.
"You shouldn't." Jones said.
"He'll come back." Brown said.
"He'll kill you."
"He always does."
"He never understood you. Not like us."
"He did this to you, leaving you here alone."
"He made you leave us."
"He's not like you, Smith."
"He could never give you what you desire, even if he dies, he'll give you nothing."
Smith still sat next to Neo, holding his bloody hand. He sat there, and sat there, watching as Neo died. And when the heart stopped beating, and Neo was dead, he came back. Jones and Brown ran away, and it was Smith's turn to bleed. And this time he would scream.
-----------
"He'll be asleep for a while you know."
Neo looks up at her.
"They gave him a lot of sedatives…to make him stop shaking."
Neo frowns.
"They said it was a seizure." Neo whispers.
"No! No…it just…they thought it was, it might have been, and if it was it was nothing serious. Just one of those…twenty second things…from some sort of shock." She says.
Neo looks away.
Michelle, Trinity, stands in the doorway of their cell, one armed wrapped around the other. Neo sits on his bed, staring over at Smith, who lies in his covered in blankets and a wet cloth on his head. Neo's hands are shaking as he rubs them together, trying to get them to stop. And Trinity stood beside him, unsure of what she should do. But sooner or later, the insane aren't good with time; she stepped inside the madmen's cell, and sat next to Neo.
The two, sane and insane were confused to what the other was doing. But Neo looked to her, and scooted closer to her.
"You're afraid." She said to him. "It's okay to be afraid."
"I don't understand…why this happened, I don't know what I did wrong." Neo nodded.
"This isn't your fault, Neo."
"No, I mean…I know. But I should have known. He…always takes care of me." Neo told her.
He looks away from her, she wouldn't understand. She doesn't know, she couldn't know. She can't know, he won't let her; he won't let her know what it's like to be sane and thought to be this madman. To only have another madman as the only person you know, to have to piece your own life back together…how could he burden her with such horrible thing?
Michelle, Trinity bit her lower lip.
"When I was little…my father died. And my mother adopted a baby boy. She said they were going to have another child, and well…yeah… His name was Collin, he was a little Asian boy…and he was my brother since I saw him. He always took care of me, always, when we were at school, or anytime…he was my brother…"
Michelle, Trinity is stuttering, she's not sure what she should really say, if she should tell this to this man. Thomas A. Anderson, Neo, a man who mind is sick, and is insane. Would a man that is mad not understand? But…she knew somehow he would. He looked at her, with his brown eyes, staring intently, listening to every single word, always interested in everything she had to say. Why? Because she looked like a woman he had forgotten, or did he really actually like her? Did it all really matter?
"He always took care of me, you know? And then he got sick…and I had to suddenly take care of him. And…he died. I wondered if I hadn't cared for him enough, or if I had somehow done something wrong…but…I know I didn't. I was there for him, and he needed me, and I took care of him, it just wasn't enough…it wasn't my fault, I did all I could… You can take care of Smith now…and it isn't your fault if he's hurt, you just have to stay with him."
The night is eating up the day, and the sun is setting. The light is dimming, and Neo for a second looks back at Smith. Then he looks at Trinity, and he grabs her hand.
"I'm sorry." Neo told her. "You don't deserve to lose someone like that."
Michelle, Trinity smiled, and looked away.
"Now how do you know that, Neo?"
"I just do." Neo replied innocently. "I dream it."
When she looks at him, with all that happiness mixing with all that sadness, she wonders if he can tell the difference between them. Or if he is always the same, if he was always the same even before all this. When she speaks of death, can he understand? Is he nodding blindly, unsure of what she's talking about? But she smiles. She wonders if she should leave now, if this isn't her place. She knows it's not, she's not supposed to form any friendships with these people, they're insane, there needs to be a barrier between the mad and sane. But she won't leave and she justifies this by saying counseling is part of her job, it's not. She just gives out pills.
"What do you dream, Neo? Do you dream your painting?" She asks.
Neo backs away and his eyes widen.
"You saw that? Oh no! No!" Neo yells.
"Sh!" Michelle gestures to Neo, pointing at Smith. Neo frowns and lowers his head.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, I hate that thing. I hate what I put on it. It's horrible, I didn't want to burden you with even the sight of it." Neo looks away.
It was. It was horrible.
"I don't mean to dream that stuff. I just do, and I don't want to anymore. But it keeps coming back! I can't stop it! And…it keeps getting longer, and the dream itself is beginning to change…but that's no excuse, I'm sorry, Trinity." Neo looks up back at her.
"It's okay, Neo…we can't control our dreams. I…didn't mean to upset you."
"Do you forgive me?"
"Of course."
"Then I'm not upset."
Michelle, Trinity smiled at that. And Neo rose up and smiled back at her. All Neo saw was her, and her face, her beautiful face. And he thought in his head over and over again, Neo and Trinity, Neo and Trinity, Neo and Trinity. And he wanted to tell her of all his other dreams where he sees her. All these dreams he has had. Neo, and Trinity, were together again. He wanted to tell her that they have been here before, she and he. He knew it…it had to be. She had to be Trinity…she just had to be… He wanted to ask her again, if she would be Trinity if he stopped being insane. He wasn't sure if he would be able to accomplish this but with her love as a reward he was pretty sure he could.
But Neo bit his lip, and reminded himself what Smith would say to all this. Neo looked over at Smith, still sleeping, still lying down.
"I don't remember my childhood." Neo said, still looking at Smith. "Neither does Smith. I don't remember my mother…or my father. My brothers, my sisters…if I ever had any siblings…"
Neo still smiled, as if none of what he said was sad. And this smile made Michelle believe he didn't know how to be sad, or didn't know what it was. But that was not so. Neo smiled, because he didn't want Michelle to stop smiling.
"That's horrible…" Michelle whispered. "I mean…I knew you had amnesia but not as severe…There's nothing even on your record under relatives…I always assumed you knew though…oh, Neo…"
"Don't be sad, Trinity." Neo said. "I don't like it when you're sad. So don't be sad, okay? Even if this is a sad time, you have to be happy."
Neo bent down and looked up to Michelle's face, and he smiled at her. She backed away and wiped her eyes, sniffing, and smiling at Neo. Neo nodded to her and looked back at Smith.
"I remember Smith, though. Yes, I remember him. As long as I have Smith I'll be okay. As long as you're happy I'll be okay." Neo said, and looked back at Trinity.
"You've always been together?"
Neo nodded.
"Why do you fight each other then?" Michelle asked.
Neo held back a laugh.
"Just because…it's calming, it feels…right. Familiar. And we like anything that feels…familiar."
She felt strange asking Neo all these questions. But these were questions she always asked Aaron, but he could never answer, because well, they didn't seem to trust Aaron, or any of the sane really. Smith didn't trust her. Only Neo trusted her, and that's only because she looks like someone with a biblical reference in her name. But these questions…he'll answer them. And Neo is happy to answer them. If she's curios why not ask him?
She laughed out of nervousness and looked up at Neo.
"Why do you let him call you by your real name?" She asked.
Neo seemed confused by this question, and had to take a moment to consider.
"Oh, you mean Thomas A. Anderson." Neo smiled.
"Yeah, you don't like it when anyone else calls you that."
"Well, for one, it's not my real name. My name is Neo, you know that. But…I let Smith call me that because…it's his way of showing he respects me. And it sounds familiar." Neo smiled.
"And you call him Smith, because you respect him?"
"No…no, no. That's his real name. But he knows how much I respect him…but it means a lot more to me that he respects me."
"Why?"
"Because…um…because…well I don't know, but it does. We both know that. But Smith…you know Smith, he doesn't…express himself as much, so it's the little things that mean a lot more than you'd think."
"Why doesn't he express himself?"
"He doesn't know how. And he doesn't want to. The both sort of…connect somewhere in the middle I guess."
"Why doesn't he want to?"
"He's afraid."
"Of what?"
"I don't know. But I know he's afraid, I dream it."
What else do you dream Neo? Michelle is staring at him in a sort of disbelief. She has so many questions, but the answers go around in circles. She knows they'll all eventually end in "I can't remember," and "I don't know," and Neo would feel bad, and she doesn't want him to feel bad. He seems to have a fragile and strange mind; hurting it any further than it has today would just be a wrong move. Besides…she likes it that he trusts her, and likes her.
"Do you talk about him being afraid?" Michelle asks.
"I haven't even tried. He won't let me. He'll tell me when he's ready, that's how Smith is. He has to figure it out by himself, and if he can't he'll ask me. But I know there's things he doesn't tell me. He thinks I don't know that, but I suppose we both know a lot more about each other than we know ourselves." Neo smiled. "Yes, that sounds right…familiar. That sums it up, don't you think?"
Michelle, Trinity smiled and nodded.
"I'm sorry am I asking too many questions?" Michelle asked, asking another question.
"Of course not. I like talking to you. Smith doesn't, but he's just jealous."
"He doesn't like me, does he?"
"Oh, Smith doesn't like anybody, that's just Smith."
"But…he looks at me differently than you do. I don't like it. He stares at me, with this…blank face…but I know he's angry at me."
"Well…no…I don't think he's angry at you. He's not angry at anyone…he doesn't hate you or anything…He just…um…has to tolerate a lot of things."
Michelle, Trinity smiles.
"Yes, tolerate." She nods.
Neo smiles and looks over back at Smith, and frowns for a moment.
"Neo…what is the Matrix?"
Neo's mouth opens and he tilts his head at her.
"I know…you used to scream that with Smith…and I was just…wondering what you thought it was…" She stutters realizing this is a subject to take lightly.
"The Matrix…" Neo whispered. "The Matrix…I…don't know."
"Oh…."
"But…keep asking that question, Trinity. What is the Matrix? Someday…somebody will know. Just…keep asking." Neo nodded.
The Matrix is something, Trinity, something I'm don't really understand yet. It's like a dream, Trinity, people are dreaming right now, and we're all dreaming the same dream, and we can speak to each other, and touch each other in this dream. You're not supposed to wake up from the dream, why I don't know. Will you help me find out?
He would have given anything to say that to her.
"Can I ask you a question now?" Neo looks over at Michelle, and she nods happily. "What's it like…in the city? I don't remember you know…"
"Oh…well, I live in this little apartment on the outsides of it…but it's loud…and grimy. Not as bad as other places, but you know, still pretty dirty. People are always in a rush, sometimes I think I'm living in New York again, just people in business suits, going around in circles, the same routine over and over again…It's kind of refreshing coming here…away from that." She looks up at Neo.
"Sounds nice."
"It's okay."
Neo smiles.
"Okay…do you…think I'm insane?" Neo smiled at her.
"Neo…"
What does one say to a question like that? She's staring at him, answering with her eyes, but Neo, being the madman he is, is blind to her body language and continue to smile at her, expecting an answer. Michelle looks away for a moment, and then back up at him, where he looks down to the floor.
"It' okay…you don't have to answer that." Neo says.
The day is gone, swallowed up by the night, and only the full moon light up their little cell. Michelle, Trinity stares up at Neo, and then bites her lip.
"I should go…" She says.
She rises to her feet, but Neo grabs her at the wrist, but gently. More gentle than the last time.
"No…please don't go." He grasps onto her and looks at Smith. "I'm not like him…am I? No…I dream that too. I don't know how I can take care of him…what I should do, what I'm supposed to do…He'll start shaking again I know it, and I won't know what to do…"
Neo looks up at her.
"If he has another one we'll have to put him in the hospital we have here…you just have to tell someone, Neo, we can take care of him…" Michelle tells him.
"No you can't…No one can but me…and I don't know what to do…" Neo shakes his head. "I know, I've dreamed this, Trinity, he dies, I know he does he dies because of me…I kill him…"
"Oh, Neo…"
"Please…Michelle…will you stay here with us…with me?"
Trinity…Michelle in the dark of the night nodded to Neo, and sat at the foot of his bed, as Neo lied down, facing Smith, watching him, making sure he was okay. And Neo soon fell asleep, and when this happened, Michelle, Trinity, left to go home.
And when she was gone, and all that were left were only them…Smith's hands began shaking, and so did Neo's. For they dreamt as One, and heard each other's screams.
---------------
Perhaps it was the drugs that made it so difficult to open his eyes, or maybe it was his own fear of what he would see when he did. He was at first unsure if he was awake yet…or still dreaming. Perhaps the entire Asylum was just a dream, and he would wake up somewhere else, somewhere different, far away. Yes…perhaps everything is just a dream. Neo, Michelle, Jones, Brown, the entire thing. He would wake up completely alone, but at least he wouldn't be in an Asylum.
Being drugged…it was a not a new sensation for him. It dulls the mind. One wants to think, one wants to imagine something, or go over what's happening to them. Wanting to think…unable to though. Unable to form a thought, a single word inside your head…you only go on…existing. A living corpse, lying there, trying to get better.
His vision was blurry from the drugs, and he laid in bed for nearly half an hour waking up. His eyes began to hurt from all the white lights around him on the white walls. He shook his head, and laid underneath his sheets. And Smith slowly came to the inevitable truth.
His name was Smith, he was insane, he was in an Asylum. He had started shaking and fainted.
He laid another ten minutes sulking on this truth. Soon he decided to see if Neo was up, peering through the covers. But he saw across the room, Neo was not in his bed. The morning sun shined through, and Smith retreated back into his sheets. He was alone now. All alone. Neo had left him… Neo had left him for Trinity!
No, no, no, this isn't right, this can't be right.
Smith stumbled out of bed, losing his balance. He looked down the hallways, looking for Neo, but didn't see him. Smith frowned, leaning on the hallway walls as he walked towards the center room. And even then he felt dizzy, and thought for a moment that he was dreaming again. He finally found the center room, somehow navigating his way through people and dizziness. He stood and looked for Neo, but could not find him.
He needed to find Neo, he knew this, drugged and jaded he still knew. But no where could he find the man who the sane called Thomas A. Anderson. He was really, truly alone…abandoned. Left behind for something better. Left behind by everyone…
"Hey, pal."
Smith jumps as he turns around, and there behind him stand two men whose souls belong to a Frenchman. The taller one nods, and it is the shorter one that is speaking and smiling at Smith. Smith stares at them, and the smaller one scans him up and down.
"We've been watching you. You okay?" The shorter one asks.
Smith, drugged, not thinking clearly stares at the shorter one.
"Heh, my name's Enosh and this here is Enoch." The shorter one says, and the taller one nods.
Smith stares.
"Yeah, funny names huh? Parents were really catholic back home." Enosh goes on.
"We couldn't get out of there soon enough." Enoch adds.
The two laugh, with their slight French accents, and Smith only stares.
"Hey, pal, you're Smith right? Friend of that Neo guy?" Enosh goes on.
"Now those are interesting names."
And Smith manages to nod, looking on at these strange men.
"Hey, Smith. We've been watching you…with that Neo guy. You're pals with him huh?" Enosh says.
Smith nods.
"He hasn't been treating you right has he?"
Smith nods.
"No way, we saw that the other day. He ditched you didn't he?" Enosh says.
"Left you for that woman." Enoch adds.
"Yeah, what a bitch, she treats us like shit. She treats you that way too? She's afraid of you, and yet there she goes…flaunting all over Neo like that."
"Where is the love?"
"So unfair, just isn't right."
Yes…yes it isn't right.
"You deserve better, Mr. Smith. We've seen it, we know it. All you want is something so very small, and yet he neglects it from you." The brothers continue.
"We were deprived of the same thing before."
"Yes, but it was finally given to us."
"Neo…" Smith whispers.
"Forget him, he's betraying you. Leaving you for that bitch."
"The bitch who won't let us play with the 'sane' pin ball machine in their lobby. Pft."
"He'll leave you soon. Leave you all alone like people did with us."
"You don't want to be all alone do ya, Smith?"
Smith shakes his head.
"When you're ready, Smith, you come find us." Enosh says.
"We can get you want you want." Enoch adds.
Enosh smiles and takes a step closer to Smith.
"We can give you a home. We can give you purpose. To become part of something far greater than you. To act as one in perfect unionson. It's quite lovely actually." Enosh said.
The French brothers smiled at each other, and began walking away, down to the criminally insane hallways. And Smith watched them…watch them leave, their words still echoing inside his head. How did they know…to say all the right things? How did they know that that is all he's ever wanted.
And the brothers laughed to each other, returning back to Armel, the King.
"You make it sound so happy." Enoch said.
"It is. You get chicks, booze, sex, money, and guns. What more would you want out of life?"
"It's true, the life of the mob."
"Yeah whatever, if you call us a mob in an insane asylum."
"Yeah at least we avoided prison. You wouldn't have survived a day in prison. The first night you'd wake up married to some guy named Jim, getting his named tattooed on your ass."
"Oh, that's encouraging dear brother, mother always told you to be good to me. Fuck you."
"I'm gonna try and play pinball again."
Smith stood there, wondering, wondering if that's exactly what he wants. To feel a purpose, to feel something more than this pain. Neo is leaving him, already he knows it, he's seen it. Why would Neo do that? What's wrong with him? He doesn't want to be one with them, he wants to be one with Neo. But Neo…doesn't even think about this does he?
"Smith!" the voice of Neo calls.
Smith turns again, and Neo comes running towards him.
"They said you shouldn't be out of bed!" Neo yelled.
"…Who…?" Smith whispered.
"The doctors! You need to rest, that's what they told me, you should sleep some more. I got you food, see?"
Neo held within his hand a cafeteria tray, of something that looked remotely like oatmeal, some juice, and some apples. Neo held it tightly, and smiled at Smith.
It hurt when he dreamed. When he saw Neo lying on the floor dying, and when Neo came back and started choking him to death. Was this what he had been wondering about all this time? Is that what he wanted? To dream that? To dream in pain? To dream…and only see his own suffering? Was that it?
Neo…smiling the same smile he did when he died.
He can't feel the pain anymore, and everything seems just a little more distant than it already was. He can't feel the bruises that he had in the dream, or the blood he had to spit out of his mouth. His own blood was actually very cold, unlike the other blood, Neo's blood. He can't feel it anymore, nothing anymore.
He wants to again. Feel anything, even that pain again.
Neo's still smiling, and Smith steps towards. Neo who kills him in his dreams, Neo who dies in his dreams, and Neo who leaves him when he is awake. Neo who loves Trinity, Neo who will leave him for Trinity. Everything, it's all for Trinity isn't it?
And Smith falls onto Neo's shoulder, and Neo almost drops the food. Can't stand anymore…getting dizzy. The world is falling away.
Everything is slipping away. The white is blending together, the details are getting lost. Everyone is faceless, and silent, and they're all looking at him. It's so far away, so very far away.
"Smith? Hey, it's okay, come on…let's go back to the room. You can rest and eat okay?" Neo smiles, and drags Smith back to the cell.
He can't really hear Neo, or anyone else for that matter. As if he were separate from the surrounding world. This had to be another dream, this couldn't be real, everything is so far away, so two dimensional, so artificial. Nothing is real anymore. None of this seems real anymore, was it ever real? He's dreaming, he knows he's dreaming. He feels nothing here again, and everything is gone now. This has to be dream, this can't be real. This can't be real, none of this can be real. It's all so fake, he can't feel anything here.
Feel something, anything. Pain, again, he'll settle to feel that again. Punch me, Neo. Kick me, choke me, stab me, cut me. Make me feel something Neo…Neo…
He can't talk anymore, maybe that's because of the drugs.
But the rest…no, this isn't real, please don't let this be real.
It can't be like this, this isn't it, this isn't his. This world it isn't his. Just before all this, before Jones and Brown ever crossed his mind it was all so real, it was what it was. And now…it's like he's awakened to it all, and now none of it seems real anymore. But…it can't be like this again…not again. He can't feel nothing again!
Neo said something as he laid Smith in bed, something about shaking a lot. Smith couldn't hear, wasn't listening. And as he laid down, he wasn't able to move. Neo sat on the floor next to him, and spoke to him, none of which Smith understood. And Neo looked at him, with those happy eyes.
And for a time Michelle, Trinity came by, and Smith's hands began shaking.
This isn't how it's supposed to be, no, he can't feel anymore, it wasn't like this before. If he was One…if they were One, this wouldn't be happening, no he would be able to feel with Neo! He would be able to see! That's all he needs, to be One. To feel. To act and see, and feel as One. To know as One. Give him that, if nothing give him that….
Smith would not sleep. He would just lie in his bed, with Neo sitting across the way. Just lie there, looking up at the ceiling. No, not even when the sun was gone, and it was night. When Neo himself went to sleep, no, Smith did not sleep. Smith knew what would happen, he dream again.
And again he would die, and perhaps waken even more distant from this world than he is now, until finally he would just fade away.
---------------
Next Chapter: Numb Again (might change)
A little rant from the author, you don't have to read, it's just me talking about the story, because I felt like talking about it to you guys:
A bit of Smith theme, but I did enjoy writing the little conversation with Neo and Michelle. I love writing Neo, he's always so…innocent in this, and now apparently wiser than Smith has assumed. I actually had a story in my mind about a duo in an insane asylum that was actually based on the idea of what would happen if both Neo and Smith were in an asylum. But then I started writing this story and here we are. Neo I try to make as innocent as possible, as I thought he should have been made in the movies, just a scared man up against something he has no full idea of. Neo I write…like I imagine a ten year old Neo to be, still just a kid, innocent and everything is fine. He's just older, and understands a lot more, but still is…open and happy about his life even the parts he doesn't remember.
Smith in this, well I wrote Smith how I thought the real Agent Smith would be, with a tad of emotion with Neo. But now, well now…it's what Areie said. Yes, Areie, that's exactly it, the "saner" Smith is actually the one that is more "insane." Just like in the movies, as Agent Smith is awakened to something "better" he actually…well you've all seen the movie, remember the evil, crazy laugh he had? I'm trying to keep Smith in the same pattern he had in the movies. Like fine as he is, wondering what he was or could be, being pushed over the edge by his questions, lost in his questions, rejects everything, becomes hateful and vengeful. And well I can't tell you the end now can I? But I really enjoy writing Smith, even though Neo is a little more new to me, and fun. Smith's mine, I've always done Smith, and it's just fun taking this part of him.
Now, the most difficult thing was…the outside characters. Deciding who to put in, and how. Armel, Merovingian, aw man, when that came up I had this huge grin on my face, it was just so perfect. Armel (who is also the name of the bad guy in my script, and yes he is French too), was just so perfect. I always wanted to do a Merovingian story where he's just doing drugs, having sex, and is completely insane, and well…if I go any further I'll reveal more of this story, so I won't. There was another one I've sort of abandoned where he speaks to Smith before Smith well takes him over. Showing they both have an…equal hatred for Neo, but for entirely different reasons.
Enosh, and Enoch are supposed to be Cain and Abel. Enosh was the first son of Seth, the third son of Adam and Eve. And Enoch is the first son of Cain, so I tried to keep the namesake of Cain and Abel in Enosh and Enoch. I was very excited when I found the names actually, when I was at first looking up other French names.
Oh and if anyone is still wondering what the three spirals are that Smith painted, go watch the first Matrix, look for some spirals near the end.
Oh, and you'll still have to read to see if they're really insane or if it all happened, I won't tell.
Don't worry everyone it's all up there, in my little head. Got it all sorted out more or less.
Go google IMPS: THE RELENTLESS and find out what it is. And visit the Hatchet movie website (not based on the book).
The Chapters might come in a bit slower, with High school starting to give out heavier loads of homework. But do not worry, I am devoted to this story like no other story before! This will be done, and it will probably be my favorite. I do so enjoy the aspects of insanity and sanity. Check out a man named Renfield that I quite love.
Now please Review, they make me so happy!
Love, Shadow.