A/N: Happy Easter to those who celebrate it! Here is the latest installment. Your feedback is more than supportive to me, and I can't thank you enough. I'm editing old chapters with the help of a wonderful beta named Dani, and re-uploading as we go. The main plot is not changed, but she's definitely helping me with grammar, etc. Hopefully we will catch up before I finish this story! I could wait to update until after we have beta'd all the other chapters, but I didn't think that would be fair to those who have been reading with me from the beginning. So keep in mind, these new chapters are not in their final edited form! OK, enough! LOL
SM owns twilight.
Chapter 27 – Convicts and Calls
James' eyes raked across my body in typical fashion. An instant wave of nausea washed over me in return. I was wearing an all black sheath dress and long cardigan that tied in the front. Regardless of my 'Sister Mary' attire, I still felt exposed. Edward's words came back to me from this morning, when he had, once again, assessed my dress and proposed that I wear a parka.
You should have listened.
"James," I responded coolly.
His beady stare never faltered, remaining fixed on me. The orange jumper he wore added to the creepiness factor, not to mention the circumstance of talking to him through the plastic barrier.
If he calls you Clarise, you run like hell.
"I'm glad you came, Bells."
I continued to ignore his shortening my name. "I'm surprised you're still here, James. Why haven't you been released on bail?" Even considering the vandalism and battery charges, I was sure he could afford the fee for release. In addition, he had reported voluntarily, which made things more confusing. My internal cynic wondered if there were other charges that were outstanding.
"I guess I didn't think things through when I chose the Thanksgiving holiday for my repentance. No hearings were held during the weekend. I should be released today, though." James continued to watch me intently. His affect was constricted, and I was unable to surmise whether he was happy, afraid, manipulative, or genuine.
"I see," I answered, showing no emotion in return. "So, is that what this is, repentance?"
"Yes, Bells. It's all I've been thinking about since I sobered up. I'm abhorred by my behavior and especially by the way I've treated you."
"Are you?" I challenged, not buying his remorse.
"Yes. Will you give me that chance, to apologize?"
I sat there quietly, not responding. The fact that he was offering a mere apology for his actions stunned me, but I found myself curious nonetheless.
James finally gathered that I wasn't going to answer him directly. "I guess I'll just start. Many of my behaviors are just defense mechanisms, trying to hide my true problem. I'm sure you've heard that line before, right? " he half-smiled, attempting to charm me.
I sighed in aggravation, but James held up his hand to prevent me from speaking. "I'm sorry. Please, let me continue? My Dad died when I was in high school. When my mom began drinking to hide her pain, I joined her. Once I started, I never wanted to stop. And I didn't. I've been an alcoholic since college, but it was acceptable then. In medical school, I was nearly caught on several occasions. All-night binges were hard to hide. You would think I would have wised up, but instead I worked harder to hide it." He rubbed his hands across his face as if trying to wake up.
"Go on." There seemed no reason to stop him mid confession. I was far too nosey for that.
"Then I switched to vodka. It's much harder to detect since there's no smell. But even that wasn't enough, after a while, so I started abusing prescription benzos. Once I was employed as a locum tenens, I ran into the problem of the random drug screens. And that's when I found my drug of choice. The designer drug, GHB, was perfect. Urine toxicology misses it, unless it's screened separately."
"Right," I agreed. I listened to his words, wondering if they held any true remorse. My mind fought the growing urge to pity him or punch him.
"I continued using, moving place to place, whenever I thought people were beginning to notice my behaviors. I loved to party and to surround myself with women. It made me forget about the fact that I was alone. I've been alone since my life fell apart. My Mom killed herself, two years after my Dad. She couldn't live without him." James started to wipe his face.
Was he crying?
"So, James, what are you saying? You had a tragic life, and that led you to drink? Ok. And your substance use caused you to screw Ramona, vandalize my car, and threaten me?" I was furious. "There are hundreds of people with stories worse than yours, and they aren't criminals."
"It's not like that."
"Then tell me, what is it like?"
"I was angry. If you hadn't walked in with Carlisle that night, everything would have been fine. I could have left the Retreat with a clean record. But when you caught me, I lashed out. I went home with Ramona and got drunk, and high. I wasn't thinking, Bella."
"Everything would have been fine, James? Just how do you figure that? What about the patients you've been caring for? Do you think you have been providing the best care for them?"
"I'm a good doctor." His words were clipped.
"No, a good doctor would have had the insight to know when they have a problem." My tone matched his in intensity.
"You're right."
"You think?" I was beyond irritated.
"Yes. Crap, Bella, I'm still screwed up. When I went to rehab I was in shock. I'm only beginning to make things right. I know I've been an ass, specifically to you."
"Yes, you have."
"I was threatened by you. Because I knew you saw through me," he admitted. His words reminded me of how I had missed his substance addiction. I had recognized his incompetence, but didn't identify the true issue. That fact continued to embarrass me.
"So you decided to terrorize me?"
"I told you I was high that day. I didn't mean the threats. And I'm sorry for the car. Hell, Bella, I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to get to know you. I think we would have been great together."
"So that's why you continued to harass me, then?" I ignored the 'we'd be great together' comment. It was a constant battle not to vomit from the entire conversation, let alone acknowledge such a statement.
"What are you talking about?" James looked confused.
"After you left that day, you couldn't just leave me be?"
"I wanted to, Bella." Well at least he was being honest. "I was scared to death when I realized what I'd done, so I called an old friend to pick me up. He dropped me off at Rehab the next day. I could have left you alone, and tried to move on, but I wanted to set things straight. That's why I turned myself in. I'm trying to work the program, to achieve and maintain recovery."
Now I was the one confused. "That's not what I'm talking about."
"What?" he asked.
"I'm not talking about you turning yourself in. I'm talking about the phone calls, James."
"I tried to call you, yes."
Of course you did, you freak.
"But I only had phone privileges at certain times, and you were never home. I didn't want to risk calling the Retreat and having someone else answer," he clarified.
What?
"And what about my cell phone?"
"Your cell phone? I guess I could have tried that. But I didn't have your number."
He didn't have my number. The words replayed in my head several times. This strange reality set in as James, once again, stared at me.
"You ok, Bells? You never gave me your number, remember? Even though I asked for it many times."
"Yeah," was all I could mutter.
"Did you want me to call your cell?" James asked with hope and flirtation.
"What? No!" His tone woke me from my trance like a bucket of ice water. "Listen, James, I'm glad you're in a rehabilitation program and are working on recovery. But that doesn't mean your actions are forgiven, or that you should avoid the consequences. I'm not dropping the charges. "
"Ok." He sat quietly like a child who was scolded. "But just to be clear, I wasn't asking you to. I know I need to pay for my crimes. I hope that after I prove myself, maybe we could be friends. I'd love to see you again, Bella."
Is he seriously giving me a pick-up line from jail?
'Creepo Convict' – that's a new one for you.
"No, I don't think that's wise. Goodbye, James."
"It's Edward Cullen, isn't it? You're hot for the music teacher?" He baited me as I stood to leave.
"That's none of your business," I countered, whirling around to glare at him.
"You deserve better. You'll never be satisfied with someone who hates himself. And if you're looking for a broken man to fix, I'm available. Forget Edward." James raised his voice in irritation.
Edward.
Broken.
Cell phone.
I turned and hastily left the room, not giving another glance towards James. I had confronted the jerk, and now I needed to find Edward. Rounding the corner, I saw Charlie and Blue Eyes waiting outside the conference room. They were pacing in alternating patterns.
"Hey," I spoke. Their heads shot up in unison as they stood helplessly, waiting for me to reach them.
"Are you ok?" Charlie asked, rubbing my shoulder.
"I'm fine. Can we get out of here?"
"Sure. Let's go." Dad led us out the doors of City Hall towards the cruiser. Edward silently held my hand, tracing small circles in my palm with his thumb.
Once we reached the car, he finally spoke. "That was the worst feeling ever, Bella. Not knowing what was happening to you, thinking about you in that room with him, alone."
"I'm fine. He was actually kind of tame, apologetic even. I think he's trying to work through his twelve steps."
"He's a sociopath. Of course he was apologetic; he wants to get out of this so he can wreak havoc somewhere else." Edward gritted his teeth as he started reminding me of James' personality traits.
"Well, he's getting out today," Charlie butted in. "I suppose we'll know if he was serious when the court date arrives. If he is a coward, he may run again."
"I think he'll be there," I answered. "If anything, he gains pleasure from making me uncomfortable."
"Did he threaten you?" Edward grabbed my hand quickly. "Tell me the truth, Bella." The fury in his eyes was frightening.
"No, it's not that. It's just his character, that's how he is."
"And what about the phone calls? Did you tell him you would file separate charges if he continued?"
"Oh my God. I almost forgot. The phone calls! Edward, I need to tell you, they weren't from James." I blurted out the words as Charlie weaved through Seattle traffic.
"What do you mean?" Edward asked in disbelief. "I'm not surprised he would deny that, too. Of course he's been harassing you."
"He said he didn't have my number, and I believe him. He admitted to calling the cottage from Rehab, and that's all," I explained, shaking my head. My determination made Edward drop my hand and run his fingers through his hair. I could tell he was putting the pieces together.
Charlie was already on his phone, speaking with someone animatedly. "You're positive?" he asked. "Ok, thank you for your help."
"Who did you call, Dad?"
"That was the director of the Kirkland Recovery Center. He confirmed that the residents aren't allowed personal phones, and that all such items are kept in secure lockers. The time for phone privileges is always mid-day and late afternoon, never in the evening." Charlie was obviously analyzing the situation as he spoke, trying to decipher what this meant.
"There's no way James made those calls," I confirmed.
"You think it was just coincidence, or someone from Arizona?" Charlie asked.
"No," Edward said. He looked at me blankly and I nodded in agreement. "I know who it is."
"Tanya," I whispered.
"Who's Tanya?" Charlie pulled the car into the nearest gas station. He turned in his seat to face me directly. "What are you two not telling me? Someone better start talking."
I watched as Edward explained his history with Tanya. His face was pale and his mood was somber. The details of Tanya's breakdown and assaults were still painful for him to discuss. I thought back to the day in the meadow, when he had finally told me about his past. The same brokenness remained. He informed Charlie of her disappearance and of his frequent trips to Vancouver to assist the family. Edward finally described his last visit, and his realization that he could no longer be weighed down by the guilt of Tanya's illness, or the fact that she was missing.
"And why do you think this is her? How would she even know about Bella, or how to reach her?"
"His phone," I answered for Edward. "I think she was following him and took his phone."
"It did have your number in it. And some of your IMs I had saved." If it were possible for Edward to look paler, he did.
Wonder which IMs he kept?
"Great." I imagined that my pallor mirrored Edward's at this point.
"When did you lose it?" Charlie asked again.
Edward gave Charlie the information and he jotted it down. Edward had actually waited seventy two hours before cancelling the SIM card. His return to the Retreat had been the night before James was fired. Because of the events that followed, he had forgotten.
"That's good though. It works to our advantage," Charlie added in excitement. "We can have the GPS history pulled. If she took your phone, we should be able to see where she went, at least for those three days."
Blue Eyes nodded and I held his hand tighter. The remainder of the ride home was quiet. I wondered if Tanya had been the one calling me, or if this was really just some strange coincidence. I hadn't had a call since Thanksgiving, which was odd, given that James had turned himself in during that time. Perhaps he was deviant enough to have a disposable phone hidden while in Rehab. I knew he could be conniving, but I also believed he would have admitted to the calls. Or maybe Edward was right, maybe James was a liar above all else. Obtaining the history from Edward's phone would be crucial.
Rio bounded onto the foot of the bed and walked in a circle three times before pawing at the duvet and lying down.
"Why does he do that?" Edward teased. "Does he have some form of obsessive compulsive disorder? Maybe he has to count the circles and scratch three times?"
"He's a creature of habit. But speaking of OCD," I laughed, "Please tell me those IMs you saved were innocent, and not…descriptive."
"Why, Bella, are you ashamed of your words to me?"
"Are you going to tell me?" I pinched his arm.
"No." Edward laughed. "I mean, yes, I will tell you. No I did not save anything saucy on my phone."
"Thank you." I let out a huge sigh.
"Now on my home computer," he teased, "I have an entire folder for reptilian discussions. In fact, pythons are worthy of more research in my opinion."
I giggled uncontrollably. "Only you can make me laugh after a day like today."
Blue Eyes kissed me on the back of my neck and cuddled closer. We had been spooning on top of the bedding, debating the pros and cons of socks versus no socks in bed. "You're beautiful when you laugh," he responded with a smile. "Besides, today you confronted Creepo, and I told your Dad about Tanya. Those are big steps."
"I'm sorry you had to do that."
"What? No, baby, I'm glad I did. It was hard, but it was easier than telling you. And if Tanya is in some way involved, in harassing you, I'm sure your Dad will find out." His sincerity and admiration for Charlie made me turn to kiss him again.
His lips were smooth against his growing stubble. I traced his jaw line with my fingers, feeling the scruff as it led down his neck. The contrast of texture made me whimper as he deepened the kiss in return.
"Mmm, It seems like fate doesn't want our path to be easy."
I could feel Edward smile as he answered against my skin. "Well, it's definitely not the traditional relationship, is it?"
"No, it's not."
He stopped, leaving my flesh wanton. "Do you regret it? Us, I mean?" I could see the anxiety in his eyes, even in the dark.
"No. You're just deserving of so much more. I worry that I've caused you more headaches. What if things don't work out? What if you tire of me? Or what if Tanya were to return, and be cured?"
"Bella." He propped himself up on one elbow, pulling my face to look at him directly. "You are more. I can't imagine my life without you in it. Tanya is irrelevant."
"Not if she comes back, she's not."
"Yes, she is. When it comes to my love for you, she is irrelevant. In fact, everything else is. But if you tire of me, and wish to walk away, I understand."
Has he lost his mind?
"I will never tire of you. I can't not love you."
"Is that proper English, Dr. Swan?"
"Shut it, Dr. Cullen. Just the thought of you, not existing in my life, makes me stop breathing. No matter what, Blue Eyes, you own my heart."
"Well I'm keeping it, then. Fate can suck it!"
We both laughed again, causing Rio to jump up and repeat his nighttime ritual on a different spot in the bed. This led to Edward cocking his eyebrow in an 'I told you show' fashion, which resulted in another fit of laughter.
This man completes me.
We drifted to sleep in each others' arms. It took at least thirty minutes for my mind to relax, but my last thoughts were of Tanya as I closed my eyes.
I wonder what she looks like.
In the quiet of the cottage, around three-o-clock in the morning, I heard my cell phone ringing. I woke up and listened, hearing it go to voicemail. Edward was sound asleep beside me with Rio curled up around our feet. Sliding out of bed, I did my best not to wake him.
The tile was cool against my bare feet when I walked, half asleep, into the kitchen. Glancing across the counter, I found my phone beside my car keys and unopened mail. I knew the answer even before looking, but I couldn't resist the lure it held. My hands trembled as I flipped open the phone and scrolled down to see the 'one missed call'. It was no surprise when I read the display.
Unknown Caller.
A/N: Whew! Glad that's over. Many of you have been saying James wasn't making the calls. And you were right! Or….were you? *giggle* Review and I'll tell you.