Authors notes…..Thanks for you thought's Allen Pitt. I think this whole situation is really messing with her head. You have to figure she was raised by people
who let her do what ever she pleased for the most part. Now she is living with pure bloods and that is a totally different world. Culture shock. Plus people are really affected
by appearance. She looks younger and little and that's how they are treating her. She keeps expecting thing's to be like they were. Plus everyone else is trying to adjust also.
I think she's going through a lot but I am moving her toward being a stronger person. Also you may notice her reaction when Malfoy yells at her. I know that's normal
because that's my reaction to people yelling at me. Oh and Molfoy's prank will come up again. Don't worry.
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I'm not exactly sure how long I stayed in my secret spot down by the lake. A while, Ok Fine ! A long time. I had a bad day ! I just kept going
over everything that had happened in my mind and for the life of me. I just didn't see how this added up to all of my friends just dumping me .
Like I meant nothing to them. What was that ?
Then there was that bit I had over heard between Malfoy and Blaise, and who ever that other person was. What did they mean ? " They have to
keep an eye on me." What am I a puppy or something ? Are they afraid I'm going to wee on the carpet ? I'm not stupid. I can take care of
myself….Mostly. Alright so I have hit a few snag's. I have been under a LOT of pressure. I think I'm holding up fairly well considering. Then
there's the matter of Blaise. One minute I think he like's me, then I find out he's been ordered to baby sit me. Maybe he doesn't even like me ?
What if he's just messing with my head like I thought ? Well, I have had enough of being humiliated and kicked around like some stray no one
wants, and where are all of these dog references coming from ? I thought." Ugg," pull it together Abby. Think ! What do you do now ? So,
That's where I started. It can only go up from here I thought . I will make myself a plan and I will get everything, back under control. I don't
need anyone else I can do it all on my own.
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So it was with determination that I marched myself back into the school. I had to keep my plan in my head even though I was dying to make my
self a list and a progress chart, but every good soldier knows you can't have your plans falling into enemy hands, and right now my enemy was
mostly, everyone. I made it to the library. First thing I needed to do was research. I had decided on three topic's. Fist topic Occlumency. Well I
had already done quite a bit of research on the topic thanks to Harry and I had practiced clearing my mind every night before bed for some time
so that one wouldn't take to much more to polish up. Really if I thought about it, I felt like I was pretty close to mastering it. The problem was I
had no one to practice with to test myself, and I didn't really want people to know I was working on it. My thinking is , That these things I study
on my own are sort of like my secret weapons . Like my own personal little arsenal of mayhem .
Like that saying. For warned is for armed. Well I'm not warning them.
So everything I'm doing needs to stay secret. Second topic wandless magic. I had also studied this one
before but I hadn't had time to really persue it, but I had experienced some minor success with it in the past so I was cautiously optimistic. I feel
that this skill could prove dead useful in a pinch and was there for worth the effort.
Topic three. When all else fails I may need an escape plan. So
Animagus. I had every reason to believe I could do it after all the Marauder's figured it out on their own and so did Rita Skeeter for that matter.
So no reason to think I couldn't figure it out as well. So topic's selected I began collecting books and being a seventh year that meant free
access to the restricted section which would aid my research tremendously. It took me some time to collect all of the books I thought might be
helpful. I skipped over all the books on theory and anything that looked at all fluffy. I don't need flowery thought's written by some powder
puff . If I want people to stop treating me like a child, I need to show everyone once and for all that Whether my name is Hermione or Abigale I
am a force to be reckoned with !
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Once I had all of my books selected I realized two things. First thing. I have no parchment or quill's with me. " Great ! " Second thing I can't sit
in my normal spot I don't want to be found. One look at the books I'm studying and my secret will be out. So first thing. I approached Madam
Pince and asked as nicely as possible if I could borrow some parchment ink and a quill. She had a soft spot for me so she only glared a little
before giving in and letting me have the items I requested. Second matter was a bit more difficult but I finally found a spot at the back of the
restricted section in a corner I stacked all of my books with the title's to the wall and cast a Disillusionment charm on myself. It wasn't nearly as
affective as Harry's cloak and the feeling of a cold egg breaking over my head was revolting , but it would have to do, it's all I knew how to do.
That's something else I should add to my list. Stealth research ! Well, one step at a time I had to master these things first. Then maybe I could
add other things to my list. I lost track of time after a while. I was completely focused on my task.
I had been reading as quickly as possible and trying to cover as much ground as I could this was
NEWT year. I knew I wasn't going to have a lot of time once the homework started coming in as well as my Head Girl duty's. I had patrols
tomorrow night so I had to get as much done tonight as I could. Even if that meant skipping dinner. This was more important. This could save my
life some day. My stomach didn't agree though and was growling angrily at me. I just ignored it. I had learned over the summer of Horcrux
hunting with Harry that it would stop eventually. I have to say though, that I was a bit surprised when the light's went out and I realized everyone
had left. Well I had covered everything new I could find on Occlumency. I had a page of note's on it and it all looked promising . Wandless
magic appeared to be primarily about practice and control. It made me think of Flitwick's class and how we were learning the more controlled
version of Wingardium Leviosa . I would just have to start practicing on everything all the time. That appeared to be the key with mastering it.
Lastly the one thing I had never studied . Animagus ! Well I had filled all of my parchment in my smallest writing front and back with everything
I could find on accomplishing the task. This was going to be the most difficult thing on my list. Well I'm no shrinking violet I WILL get it. I
thought, and now I have everything I need to know on the matter. Feeling satisfied with myself I packed up. I returned the ink and quill to
Madam Pince's desk and slipped out of the library. Technically being a seventh year and Head Girl I wouldn't get in trouble for being out after
curfew but I saw no point in advertising it ether. I made my way back to my dorm as quickly and quietly as possible. Luck appeared to be on my
Side. I saw no one and had no trouble. Hmm, all the planet's must be aligned or something I'm never that lucky. I thought.
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I shouldn't have said that even if it was only in my head. I walked through the portrait hole and was met with the face of a very angry. Draco
Malfoy, and a less angry looking Blaise Zabini. " Where have you been ! Are you aware that you missed class and you weren't at dinner ! "
Draco said in a dangerous voice. It reminded me a bit of Snape actually . " Your brother owled your parents ! Blaise and I are getting yelled at
by my parent's. Your parents and Blaise's Mother !
We are under order's to find you ! I think Snape has even been ordered to find you !" Draco raged.
" What have you got to say for yourself ! " He yelled. Strangely the more irate he became the calmer I became. This is ridiculous. I
thought. For one thing Draco sound's like my dad back when I was nine and I was late coming home from the library. Who did he think he was ?
He's not even family. Nobody has ever gotten this worked up over my staying out late before.
I looked at him calmly and said. " I will write my parent's right now and we will clear this up. "
" That's it ? Where were you ? Draco continued to rant. " Draco ! " I said. " Why do you even care ? Besides all you had to do is ask
Harry or Ron or Ginny. They would have told you I was just thinking something through or researching or studying
ether way none of them have ever launched an all out search for me. They know I'll turn up when I 'm ready."
Blaise spoke for the first time in a soft shocked voice. " They don't look for you ? " That caught me off
guard. The way he said it . Well, it sounded sort of bad . " No ! They know me. I always turn up eventually.
Anyway, I had a fight with Harry and Ron at lunch today so if you had asked one of them where I was.
They would have told you I was probably just thinking." " What was the fight about. " asked Blaise. Uh oh, I thought .
" Nothing, it was stupid. " I said maybe a little to fast. I was avoiding eye contact just incase. They were both just looking at me. Draco spoke
again this time he was much calmer. " So where were you ? " I didn't see any point in lying so I told them the truth.
" I was at the lake and then I went to the library. " "We checked both and we didn't find you. " Draco said.
" Well I was there I guess you just didn't see me. " I said. " I'm going to send that owl to my parents now. I see Max's Owl is here. "
" Yeah we were supposed to let them know as soon as we found you. They're waiting. " Said Blaise. I ran up to my room and stuck my
notes under my pillow. And grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and penned a quick note. I had left my door open and I could hear Blaise and
Draco down stairs. They were being quiet but I have freakishly good hearing. Blaise was talking. " Did you see her face ? She was genuinely
shocked anyone would look for her . " " Yea I saw. " said Draco.
Well that made me feel sick. Why were they acting like this ? Why were they making such a big deal out of nothing ?
The Grangers were muggles and I was an only child.
So they didn't know what was going on with me when I was at school outside of what I told them. It was sort of like being an
orphan I suppose. Anyway, I am just acting like normal. I am the same person more or less than I was before.
It's all of these new people that are being weird I thought. For one. What is with the stalking ? Also why am I being
tattled on just because I chose not to eat dinner ? I don't think I like this.
Now they're all acting like I'm abused or some rubbish all because I'm not used to being smothered.
I'm going to have to find a way to put a stop to this. Before they can make a habit of it. So to start with. I tried to make my letter as brief and to
the point as possible. I don't want them getting into the habit of expecting novel length letter's every time I stub my toe.
I trotted back down the stairs and handed my letter over to Draco to tie to the bird with the rest. I noticed both Blaise and Draco had also written letter's
He looked at it and then back at me. " This is it ? That's all your telling them ? "
He asked. " Yes ! " I said as if I were speaking to a small child. " It was just a miss understanding. Nothing happened no need for a big
explanation of nothing. " I told him. He still seemed unsure but attached it anyway. I told the boy's goodnight and went to get ready for bed. This
time I shut my door I didn't want to hear any more of their thought's on my tragic upbringing. The whole thing was just being blown out of
proportion and I just wanted to be done with it. So I pulled out my note's and started work on my Animagus transformation.
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It was late when I finally went to sleep. So when morning arrived all to soon I was not happy. Never the less I was up and ready to leave for
breakfast on time. Draco was again waiting for me. I had thought this walking me to breakfast was a Head student thing, but now I was realizing
this was part of the whole, stalk Abby plan and I didn't like it. So I ditched him as soon as possible. I admit it had been kind of endearing at first
it sort of made me feel wanted, but it's different when you know they're only doing it because they were told to. Beside's this is just more of
them treating me like I'm a stupid baby. Which just reinforces my opinion that I need to get tougher or meaner or something. So they will back
off. Nobody outside of Molly Weasley had ever treated Hermione Granger like this. I made it to the Slytherin table and sat next to Millie. I
didn't even spare the Gryffindor table a glance. They weren't worth it. Max was in front of me in a flash. " Where were you yesterday everyone
was looking for you mum and dad were worried ! " He demanded. When would this end ? " Morning Max sleep well ? " I asked cheerfully
ignoring his questions completely as I filled my plate. The whole table was listening. Then it got worse Snape snuck up behind me and spoke in his deep silky voice.
" Miss Loyce ! Perhaps you could explain to me why I am hearing rumors about a student in MY house. The Head Girl no less hanging by her
fingers from a seventh story window ledge yesterday ? " I felt all the color drain out of my face my mouth went dry. I took a deep breath and
remembered my Occlumency. If he looked me in the eyes I didn't want him seeing anything. I don't know what your talking about Professor. Anyway you
know how rumors are. " I said in a calm even voice. I thought for a moment he was going to let it go but then he lunged forward lightning fast
and grabbing my hand. My fingertips were all scrapped up where they had bled after my near fall the day before. " Miss Loyce if you insist on
behaving like an idiotic Gryffindor. Then by all means keep lying to me, but let me warn you, Slytherin or not. I have no problem punishing you
like the foolish Gryffindor we both know you still are." With that he swooped away in one fluid swish of black fabric, and took his place at the
head table. Max tried to jump my case again. I guess this is the first the Slytherin table had heard of my little mishap. They were all whispering
like a swarm of locusts. Inside I was seething. I knew who's big mouth was to blame for this . Lavender Brown was one of the biggest gossips in
the whole school . This was her big mouth at work . I wonder if I could get away with hexing her hair off ? I bet I could even make it permanent.
Max was really starting to get on my nerves he was threatening to tell mum and dad on me. " Max ! " It's just a stupid rumor. Lavender Brown
hates me . She's making a big deal out of nothing ! She's trying to get me in trouble and your helping her ! " I lied . Well mostly, part of it was
true. She did hate me and he was helping her. Everyone seemed to be thinking this over. Professor Snape had said it was only a rumor after all.
I was saved as the morning post arrived. Max handed me my letter from home. I was a little nervous about opening it. When another owl landed
beside me. I didn't recognize this one. I took my letter and gave the owl a treat off my plate and looked at the letter. It was from mummy ! I mean
Mrs. Granger. Maybe she finally realized what she did ? Maybe she was sorry ? I was so excited I tore it open immediately.
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Dear Hermione
I hope it's alright if I still call you Hermione because to me that's who you will always be. Well I hope that we didn't leave off on a sour note after my last letter .
Well I just want you to know that I have moved on with my life and I am very happy. I know that you will be happy to know that and would want the best for me.
So that's why I know that you wouldn't mind doing me a small favor. I noticed when you left you took the jar of Sleek Easy hair straightener and as you know I can't buy magical products
and well. I have to let you in on my little secret. I have met a wonderful man and I have a date. Now I know you, and I know that you would want me to look my best .
So if you could just send me a jar before this Saturday I would appreciate it sweetie.
Jean Granger
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I just stared at the letter in front of me I wasn't even seeing it anymore. She signed it Jean Granger . She never once asked how I was or said she
loved me. Or anything ! She just want's hair products for her date with some strange man ! I jumped up from the table I wasn't hungry anymore.
I was trying not to cry. I ran to the ladies where I could lock myself in a stall and cry like a baby in peace.
Why was this happening ? Why doe's everyone hate me ?
I was in there for only a few minutes when Ginny came in. " Abby ? What's wrong ? Let me in. " She said. I let Ginny in she was
one person I could talk to about almost anything. " What's wrong ? Why are you crying ? " She ask in her best Molly voice. I thrust the letter at her.
Her face got hard. " You don't need her Abby! You have me and Harry and Ron and a whole lot of other people. Better people ! " She said.
"Don't you remember, Ron and Harry told me they were done with me just yesterday. " I cryed " They were just upset yesterday. You scared them.
Ron told Lavender off for blabbing to Snape about yesterday. They had a huge row right in the middle of the common room last night." She said " Really ? " I
asked " REALLY ! " I'm surprised the whole castle didn't hear .I couldn't help a watery chuckle That made me feel better. " Anyway we saw you run out of the Great
hall and we followed you. The boys are waiting outside the door. It's going to be alright. Come on you don't want to miss class." she said. We
walked out and I washed my hands and face. And walked out to find a worried Harry and Ron just like Ginny said. Maybe thing's weren't as bad as I had thought. Though I did still have one letter to open.
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Ok so that was getting to be a really long chapter. I hope you liked it. I think Allen is right she's really confused .