The Ones That Got Away

(I'm just doing both Tamaki and Kaoru in the same chapter to make it longer and this whole scene go by faster. I don't like writing this and I doubt you guys like reading this unless you're into this stuff, which isn't a problem. Anyway, to the story.)

Ricko's POV

Tears prick the corners of my eyes as I sit across from Kaoru in that same waiting room as I waited with all of the rest of the guys and Haruhi. I suck in a shaky breath and blink away the tears.

"Are you okay?" Kaoru asks me softly and I look up at him with huge eyes.

"No, I'm not. Kaoru, how can I be? I've already lost four of you and now I'm going to loose you in a few minutes, then Tamaki tomorrow. Then I'm going to be sent back to that awful place again and I probably won't see the light of day for years to come." I cry with my hand covering my mouth. I look up at him with wide eyes, "Kaoru, I'm scared. I am completely scared. I am going to be all alone and, and," I let out a fearful noise and hunch foreword in my seat. I wrap my arms around myself and shake violently in dread and fear of what awaits in a few days.

Kaoru's warm hand envelopes mine, "I won't tell you that you'll be okay." I look into his honest hazel eyes, "But, when this is over, you can come and find me. I will help you pick back up the pieces of yourself and we can move on together. All of the pieces, not just the ones that will be broken off in the next years. All the one's that have fallen throughout your life." His hazel eyes are so sincere and caring. I find myself falling into their depths and believing everything he is saying.

I'm not sure at all what to say at this point, but I manage to say something that would just barely suffice, "Thank you, Kaoru."

I hear steps walk up behind me, "I'm sorry, but it's time now." Hatori walks in with another solemn expression as he had with all the others.

Kaoru looks down at me with a pained expression, "Ricko, when you're at your worst, just remember we're all waiting for you."

A shock runs through me when he leans down and kisses my forehead. Hatori and Kaoru leave me alone in the room in deep shock, confusion, and so many other emotions rippling through my head that I cannot control to piece it all together.

I fall out of my chair and just lay on the ground with a horrified expression until the familiar white flash runs through the room. I curl up in a ball and close my eyes and everything is gone.

The Next Day

Now it is the last day until I go back to the estate.

It is Tamaki's turn.

I sit across from him in the same chair as every other single time. I stare at him and think of all the other guys and Haruhi who had to sit in the chair he is sitting in.

"I don't understand why you have let this happen." Tamaki mutters in a emotion I dare not say, but you can guess.

I continue to stare at him with emotion filled eyes, "I had to." I find the need to explain everything to him. I continue, "Once any member of the Sohma family is given an order by Akito-sama, that is final. We have no other choice." I put on a bitter smile, "It is like if your Grandmother would order you to do something, you cannot get out of it or disobey her."

Tamaki is shocked, "How did you know about my Grandmother?" His voice is nervous and a bit shaky as mine was yesterday speaking with Kaoru.

My throat tightens and I swallow.

"Akito-sama told me. He told me about all of all of your families' faults and problems to further agitate me on agreeing to erase your memories. It didn't partially work though, I don't care what's wrong with you guys or your families, I just worry about mine." I bury my face in my hands. "But soon I won't have to. I'll be trapped in that dark room by myself. I probably won't see anyone but Akito-sama for a few years." My body begins to tremble and I hunch down in my seat again.

"The life of a member of the zodiac is an alone, and tortured one. None of us have it easy." I whisper now, afraid everything will disappear now, but I still continue to speak, "Hatori, Shigure, Ayame, Yuki, Kyo, Kisa, Haru, Momeji, Kagura, myself, and the others whom I haven't met are all members of the zodiac. Akito-sama is the head of our cursed family. He has it the worst. From the moment he was born, he was fated to die. It was decided and he has tortured the rest of us for it. His chronic illness keeps him from leaving the estate for too long, let alone his room, and he has terrible, horrible outbursts of rages." My eyes darken and I wrap my arms tighter around my head as I would if Akito were attacking me right this second. "Yuki and I were the main targets of these rages. Both of us were trapped at the Sohma house for most of our childhood. Yuki got away a couple years ago, but I had only recently moved in with Shigure." I let out a sharp breath and pause for a minute. The room is completely silent except for Tamaki and I's labored breathing.

"Kyo is an outsider like me. At least he isn't allowed inside the gate where the members of the zodiac live. I have lived there all my life up until last year, but up until last year, no-one outside of the zodiac had known of my existence." I keep my hand under my arms.

"What about your parents?" Tamaki's voice is unsteady. I lift my head to bore my dark eyes into his soft, saddened, violet ones.

"They're dead." Grief strikes across his face and I hold up my hand to stop him from speaking or making any abrupt assumptions. "They're dead because of me." My voice is cold and detached.

"The day I turned five, they both committed suicide together in the house we had in the estate. Up until then, they had been wary and nervous around me for my whole life and avoided me as much as they could as I became older and able to take care of myself." My voice cuts off in a clip and bitter tone, "You see, my presence alone is something to drive a person mad after a long time of being with a person. That was what made me the outcast of the zodiac. I learned shortly after they died that it was usually only the mother that would reject her child, but in my case it was both of my parents. Hatori was going to erase their minds of me being their child that day, but they just couldn't bear it anymore." I choke on the tears that are now heavily falling down onto my face and dripping onto my thighs.

"I walked into the prep room, the same room that we are sitting in right now, to see my father slumped against the wall with a needle in his arm and my mother giving herself a needle." I grip my hair tightly and my voice is strained and tight when I speak next. "Right before before my mother died, she told me that I will never find happiness with what I am. I will never have long lasting hope and joy. And she was right." I lift up my head again with puffy eyes and a broken heart. I barely have enough time to prepare myself when Tamaki's lips are on mine. Tears fall down my face as I feel the kindness and empathy in his kiss.

He breaks away and stares deep into my eyes with each of his hands placed on my cheeks, "Ricko, I believe everyone will have happiness, if they choose to. You have chosen a life of sorrow and pain and you can overcome that." He lays his hand on my cheek, "Everyone in the host club all spoke together the day before Haruhi came here and we all agreed that we wanted to see you again." I stare into his compassionate beautiful violet eyes in disbelief while he has a weak smile gracing his face. "Please fight Ricko, if you fight and make it out, then find us once you do. Make us remember you, we will all be together again." Hatori walks into the room but doesn't speak, he lets Tamaki say one last thing.

"There is one last thing I want to tell you, something I want you to remember. I love you." My mid completely freezes and Tamaki kisses me one last time softly on the lips before Hatori silently takes him to the next room.

My mind in a jumble, but after a moment, I collect my thoughts and bolt out of my chair. 'I have to stop them! I can't let his memory be erased, not his!' I barge into the room and just get a glimpse of Tamaki's beautiful violet eyes and smile as his eyes connect with mine that are filled with desperate tears.

"I'll see you again, Ricko." I faintly hear him murmur before the white flash and he falls back with a peaceful expression.

Like he knows everything will be alright and turn out okay in the end. But what he doesn't know is, that he was wrong.

"TAMAKI!" I scream and race towards him but Hatori catches me midway. I reach my arm out towards his still form while sobbing my heart out and struggling in Hatori's strong arms.

Soon my mind comes to the conclusion that he will not remember me now and there is nothing I can do about it. I collapse in Hatori's arms and continue to to cry and cry and cry until I run dry from tears and I become exhausted. Eventually I loose consciousness from overexerted energy from all the stress I have had for the past week.

'Why?'

Please keep reading and review!

Now I'm finally done with those depressing chapters and I'll move on to better parts of the story! Yay! Thank you to all the readers who have kept reading this story and all my others, I love you guys! XD