The very sky bowed to him then as he stood upon the streets. The world's strength yielded to his own. There was nothing that bounded him. There was nothing that he could not do. The world was tucked away safely within the palm of his hand, little force and he could have crushed it. The world was his, and he could feel the surge of power flow through him and out of him. Such power…he didn't know such power ever existed. Such warmth. What could have been love…
He looked down upon the world, and saw and felt its life. And then he looked up to the sky, which bowed its head to him, and picked him up.
The world was but one realm with its boundaries. But to him there were no such boundaries, no such restrictions. He went up into the realm of the sky, and he conquered it as well.
He flew with no wings in perfect and ominous freedom, which bathed him in life. Freedom, true and absolute, loving and giving, warming and protecting. The world around him screamed in the pain he was causing it. Agonizing screams came to him but all was somehow silent. The pain, the blood, the warm blood came again, and bathed him in its life.
The world below screamed in pain, and the sky bowed with thunder. He was above it all, better than it all, where no pain could reach him, no agony, no defeat. He was in the heavens, below was the world, and all it's flaws.
It was beginning to rain.
That's when Jonathon Smith woke up.
--------------------
The day had come sooner than expected, the sun shined into their room, causing Smith to be forced into the waking world. He awoke surprisingly to Neo, who was standing up in his socks, looking down at his book on the floor. Neo began to slowly move while keeping close watch of his book, he moved his arms in a fluid and slow motion.
"What are you doing?" Smith asked.
"It's called Tai Chi. It's in my book!"
"What does it do?"
"It's suppose…" Neo pushed the air. "To push away the bad," then he pulled in the air. "And bring in the good. I think I'm doing it right."
"All you're doing is waving your hands."
"No!" Neo snapped. "I am centralizing my inner power." He said with pride. "And I pushes that which is negative to welcome in the positive. It is a way of meditation, and I implore you to try it."
Smith took a moment to amuse Neo and sat silently as he observed. Smith did admit that Neo was waving his hands in a rather smooth and pleasing motion. He seemed to really be concentrating very hard, and actually trying to achieve something. Despite all this hard work Neo was simply standing in place and waving his arms around.
"No thank you." Smith concluded.
"Do you know anything about Dao…Ta- Taoism, Smith?" Neo asked.
"No."
"It's in my book too!" Neo took a different stance. "It's…this philosophy, but it's hard to explain. It's like…"
Neo looked out into the distance as he moved his hands.
"The Tao is the Way, it's everything, all the good things, all the bad things. Tao is everything, and nothing. Because…it can't be described in words. What I'm telling you, it's not Tao."
"So does that mean what you're saying is Tao, because what you just said means that it isn't true?"
"No! I mean…well, I can't tell you what the Tao is, it just is. It can only be experienced. It's life you know? It's life, and light, and love, and all that stuff."
"Interesting."
"In my opinion you'd be a Confucianism, they liked rules."
Smith gave a small hum to show he was listening, if not only a little interested. Neo continued with his waving hands, this tai chi. Neo bit his lower lip trying to focus on his movements, trying to feel if he really was working a force from within him. All because he didn't want to face Smith. Face him with a truth he's been fearing through a world of dreams. Neo wondered if he could force the knowledge he held out of him. He wondered if he could just push the negative out of him with Tai Chi. He wondered and wondered and somewhat wished he could just push his dreams right out of his head.
But Neo has come to see that he is Neo, the keeper of burdening dreams.
"Smith…I had a dream." Neo pushed his hands and negativity out.
"Me too…" Smith whispered, rubbing his head.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Neo pulled in the good things in the world to him, and into him.
"I was afraid this time." Neo said. "There was no war, there was no blood or screaming, but I was still afraid."
Smith lays back, tired from sneaking around last night. He wanted to sleep again, just another few hours, that's all he needed. He was a battery he needed to recharge. He laid down, covering his eyes with his arm, and allowed the darkness to take hold of his vision. Neo stopped for a moment and looked at him.
"Something's wrong, Smith. I'm sorry."
"What?" Smith looked up.
"Something's wrong. I'm so sorry."
Neo had taken a seriousness to his face, it was stern and he was really trying to get a point across to Smith. For once, Neo held no smile or frown, his face was focused, emotionless, even cold. He stared at Smith, without words trying to say this was important.
"What are you talking about?"
"I dreamt it, I'm so sorry."
He just wanted to push away the bad, to remain only pure and good. To be free of these dreams of burden, free from the haunting blood cries. He wanted to be free from the plugs that pierced his skin and bound him to the ground. Push out all that was bad, and bring in only the good. All the hurt, leaving only joy. All the despair, to leave only love. It wasn't working.
"I got in a fight with her." Neo said.
"With who?"
"The Oracle in my dreams. We had a fight."
Smith sat up, tilting his head.
"Fight about what?" Smith asked.
Out with the bad, in with the good. Good cannot exist without bad, and bad cannot exist without good. They hate each other, and yet they need each other. Neo was out to prove this philosophy wrong. He would be good, he would only be good, somehow, some way he'd remain only pure and perfect. He would be the Tao, the Life, the Way, whatever one wanted to call it. He just wanted to be rid of all these things, all these emotions that stilled him to the ground.
He thought that he could simply fly away from them.
"She was talking about you. I didn't like it…" Neo said.
"What did she say?"
"I didn't like it."
"What was it, Mr. Anderson?"
Neo shook his head.
"What was it?"
Neo completely stopped and went over to the window. He could hear the chirping of the birds as he pressed his head against the window, and the dulled out noises of the rest of the world through it. This way it seemed like the world was far away, and he was trapped…somehow trapped away from it.
"There is no choice for him." Neo said, quoting his Oracle. "There is no choice because he chooses that there be no choice. He cannot see, for he believes there is nothing to see. He cannot know, for he believes he knows everything. He does not believe, because there is nothing to believe for him."
Smith's anger faded.
"Because of these things, he cannot change, trapped within his own boundaries within boundaries. Where you lead he cannot follow. Where you preach he cannot hear. Your strength cannot be given to him, your love cannot be felt by him." Neo looked at Smith. "She said…something was going to happen, and it has to happen, not even I can stop it…She said…that I have to go on, but I didn't want to. I told her she didn't know you, like I knew you, but she said knowing me, she knew you, and I said that didn't make any god damn sense…"
Neo, not one to bring bad news forced himself to smile and give a weak laugh. He squinted his eyes bowing his head to Smith, who remained unmoving, frozen in these moments where words were said that he knew he had to hear.
"I started to yell at her Smith, she didn't know anything, I told her. But…she said you wouldn't be able…to like…I don't know, adapt to what was about to happen…and I told her you were strong, stronger than me and you could handle anything. It was I who needed you, you don't need me."
Smith shakes his head in disagreement, but is unable to speak. If he speaks the words will stop coming, and he won't hear them, and all will be lost.
"But she said…she said that I only needed you because I chose that I needed you. It's all about choice, Smith, this whole thing, how we choose to live, and think."
"Choice is an illusion!" Smith screamed, quickly covering his mouth.
"And…she told me, I needed to stop yelling, I needed to understand, to get a grip on myself, this was the way it had to be, it couldn't be changed, one cannot make white black or black white she told me…I told her not to simplify us into mere colors, there is gray between white and black isn't there? But she said things like this needed to be simplified… You cannot change, and I asked her why, why couldn't we change?"
Neo stopped.
"I need to tell you something, Smith, and you can hit me afterwards if you want, because…because I know you won't like it."
"What is it, Neo?"
Neo bit his lip.
"WHAT IS IT?"
"It is his purpose that he cannot change." Neo quoted his Oracle. "The human mind can adapt, it can be twisted and formed into something new, you can change Neo, but he cannot. Why I asked her. He has no flesh, he has no blood, he cannot change, it isn't within him to change, his creators never meant him for such a thing."
The words were daggers that Hamlet had once promised not to use. The words flew just the way Neo could not, and they grabbed onto him, and started suffocating him. The words, screaming inside his head until he could no longer hear. Stuffing themselves down his throat until he could no longer speak. Infesting his lungs until he could no longer breath. Daggers flew, and they pierced his flesh that they said was not there. They stabbed him, and stabbed him, and finally he realized what they meant, but denied that he did.
That is around the time, Smith punched Neo in the stomach, and Neo fell off the table, and Smith carried him over to his bed.
He has no flesh, he has no blood. There is no flesh, there is no blood. Then what was his face? What were his hands? What was filling the veins beneath the flesh of his arms? What did his heart pump if there was no blood?
Neo laid on the floor, clutching his stomach, and Smith sat down on his bed. Smith said nothing to Neo as he crept over into the corner of his bed, and put his face in his knees.
"What are you saying, Mr. Anderson?"
"She's saying it…" Neo gasped between the pains.
"Your Oracle is but an illusion, a hiccup from your subconscious from our past. She is but a memory personified. Her words are your words. What are you trying to say, what are you telling me, Neo? Neo with all your memories, what are you saying?" Smith asked.
"It's not me!" Neo yelled. "It's not me! It's not me! It's her, Smith! I wouldn't say those things! I wouldn't! I wouldn't!"
Smith stayed silent.
"I have flesh…I have blood. I have a mind. I can change." Smith looked upon his hands, and touched his face. "I'm real, I'm real, I'm real, I'm real, I'm real, I'm real."
"Smith…she's lying, she has to be! She has to be lying Smith!"
"I'M REAL!"
Smith stood up, and kicked the curled up Neo in the chest. Neo bit his tongue and took it, as Smith kicked him again and again and again. Anger manifested, panic and fear claimed him. This accusations, why was it always Neo making the accusations? Wasn't there anything wrong with him? Why doesn't he accuse himself? Is he not flawed? Why was it always Smith? Why was there always something wrong with Smith?
Why wouldn't Neo ever answer?
--------------------
There was screaming coming from their cell. Screaming as if it were months ago, as if they were back in their straight jackets, screaming for anyone willing to listen. Singing a song that only the mad ever bothered to hear, and not even they could truly decipher it. Familiar words put in a jumbled up sentence. What was the Matrix, they called, but never told. Guards came with straight jackets and sedatives in their hands, opening their door only to find them resting on their opposite beds.
Neo was however shaking, and had bruises on his sides.
It was decided that there had been a violent act, as if they were their old selves again, though they both denied it.
Sedatives were given. Smith who once again put little resistance laid down on his bed, and didn't move as they lifted him and stuck a pill down his throat. He swallowed it with no regret, longing for it to give its affects on him, he needed them this time, he needed them this time, he wanted them this time, of all times he knew the drugs of a clouded mind would help him just this once, that's all just this once. But Neo put them in his mouth and when the guards left, spitted them out, hiding them in his pocket.
Neo could not be the victim of pills, no not today, not tonight, not ever again.
He walked over to Smith who was at that point taken by the affects of the pills, he had given into drunken sleep, Smith was gone. Neo kneeled to him, lying his knees on the floor and his head on Smith's bedside.
"I'm sorry." Neo told him. "I never meant it to be this hard for you."
Neo blew his black hair out of his eyes.
"I don't know what I'm saying anymore Smith…" Neo confessed, and Smith did not hear. "I feel like I'm just a vessel for all these people to speak through. These words…they're not my words…I deny them, I deny them truth and I deny them my memory. But the Oracle Smith…I trust her, and I don't know what she's trying to say… You have no flesh, you have no blood…she kept saying…I denied it, Smith, really I did. But denial is a sign of a weak mind I guess…"
Neo buried his face in Smith's sheets.
"Smith…you're not real. That's what she said. That's what that means. You own no flesh and no blood like this Matrix owns no mass. You're just part of it I guess…or a manifestation of it. I don't know. I never know. I don't want to know anymore…"
The dream he dreamt he fought with the Oracle. He threw away the cookies, and ran out of the kitchen. He slammed himself into the wall, and said she was lying. He shook his head like madmen do, and he kicked away her coffee table. He broke a vase, and said she lied. She did not know what he knew about Smith. She could never know, how could she? She was just a memory now. A memory Neo couldn't even recall. In his dream, Neo was afraid, and he fell to the floor like he imagined his seven year old self did with his mother. And the Oracle told him, and said he had to get up.
Neo did not get up. Neo only woke up with another piece of the truth.
"That doesn't mean I can't free you, though, right? No…I'm gonna get us out of here, you'll see, I'll get us out, and we can go find a way out of the Matrix."
Neo leaned towards Smith.
"Tonight, I will find you a choice, and we will prove her wrong."
---------------------
Now it was but a waiting game, a few hours to entertain himself, which came easily with Neo, reverting back to old tactics from when he was locked up in a straight jacket. At least now Neo could move. When the sun was high Neo did a few hours of Tai Chi, then read some of his Yin Yang Book, then went on to draw his Oracle, and then wondered how long he could stay up side down on his head. He found out about twenty-eight minutes. Neo meditated, or what he thought was meditation, he couldn't be sure he had no Master.
All the while he was making himself pure for his journey. He pushed and pushed and pushed all that he could, he pushed as much bad as he could out of him. The fear the hate, all the negative emotions that were given to him as gifts from Yin, so that he may enjoy love with Yang. So that he could continue to love Trinity.
A couple of the times the guards came in, and even once Michelle, but Neo had to lie to them, pretend that the drugs had a hold of him and he was still asleep from them.
But soon the time came, the hours passed as hours always do, and the time came. The sun set, the night came as Neo's shield. It was time, in the dark of the night, he could do it. He snuck over to Smith's bed, lifting the mattress to take the Master Key, and unlock himself out his cell.
"I'll be back." Neo said.
He shut the door, and in the now practiced method snuck around the Asylum, alone. It was large and desolate, perhaps eerie how quiet it was. But Neo went on, passed the cameras and sleeping guards, passed the screaming halls that called his name in agony, passed Miho, passed Armel, and passed Joshua Daniels. He snuck to a place where the insane were not meant to go, and what was up there Neo hadn't a clue. It didn't matter, none of it mattered, he only wanted to go there for one reason.
And while he finally found the stairs, his heartbeat grew in excitement, Smith's heart grew in excitement. Neo's fear grew, Smith's fear grew. Neo opened a door yet to be opened by the mad, and Smith woke up.
Neo entered the second story of the asylum, where the mad were forbidden for they could jump and commit suicide. Smith noticed he was gone, and peaked out through the door window looking for him.
Neo looked around the second floor, it wasn't much. It apparently was where the medical supplies were kept, he saw machines he saw at the hospital, and there were rooms where he assumed pills were kept. He didn't really care, he just was looking for something, something he needed to find a choice. The room was completely dark, but by then his brown eyes had shifted and could sort of see. The moon's light shined in through the very large windows. It was a bluish light, and Neo liked the atmosphere, he felt comfortable in the coldness of it all, it felt somehow familiar. He quickly snapped out of it, focusing on what he had come here to do.
Neo was going to fly.
It was easy. Men can fly. The only thing stopping them is themselves. The belief that they can not fly. But they could! Men can fly! It was so simple! It was just walking, but not walking on the ground!
He jumped to a fairly large window, opening it up with ease, and quickly climbing out to its ledge…
-----------
"Mr. Anderson!" Smith yelled within their cell. "Neo, WHERE ARE YOU?"
Smith could feel a sudden cold chill down his spine. He didn't like this, he didn't like this at all.
------------
There wasn't much of a wind once Neo stood on the window's ledge. He had expected there to be more, but he guessed that it was a summer night, where it was warm. Neo could see the outside area, and that damn tree he could never climb, he was now high above it, and felt some sort of victory over it.
Neo snapped out of it, coming back to himself, he looked at the ground beneath, waving it hello. He smiled, and closed his eyes.
"Just like in your dreams." He told himself.
He opened his eyes and looked straight on. It was simple really, the idea of flying. It was as simple as walking on water, which was as simple as walking on the ground. Nothing stopped him here, he tried to realize that. Air could be as solid as ground, he knew that. Nothing stopped him now, it was so easy. He just had to push himself off the ground, that's all, it was just like walking. He just had to choose to walk on air this time, not ground, but air. The bad, as much bas as there could be, was out of him. He was good, he was pure, he had the strength and the belief to do it. He simple had to extend his strength to touch the ground, and walk.
There was silence inside and outside Neo. One last breathe.
Neo stepped off the ledge.
Neo stood on the air for a moment.
Neo was on the ground the next moment.
-------------
"NEO!" Smith screamed.
-------------
She was called in, because he was screaming her name, he wouldn't take any of the pills or let anyone help him until she came. It was three in the morning, and she came to him. He called and she came, just like in his dreams. She walked through the halls of the sane, down and down to the back of asylum where few ever go to the hospital within it. The hospital only had a few rooms, most were for treating small sicknesses or little pains. There was only about two rooms for critical things, which had been recently used by both Smith and Neo now. This hospital was no place for surgery however, that was something they could not do.
She hated it, the hospital, she had been visiting one every day for the last three years to go and see her brother. She hated them, down to their smell. The pure whiteness of it all, as if were all okay, the purity it tried to convey, between the cries of the dying. She hated it. She hated it so much.
And she finally came to the room with him inside it. She opened the door, and he smiled at her, that hopeful, loving smile he always smiled just for her.
"I'm so glad you came." Neo said.
"I had to." Michelle, Trinity replies. "You weren't taking your medicine."
"Do I ever?" Neo joked.
"These are different, these help you with the pain."
"But I want to feel the pain, it let's me know I did it."
"Oh Neo…"
She sat next to him, as he lied helpless on those damn hospital beds, as her Collin had for three years. IV was stuck in his hands, and there was a constant beeping of the machine presenting his beating heart. She sat next to him, and held his hand, and he smiled at her. He smiled and seemed alive, small bags forming under his eyes from lack of sleep. He seemed strong for one in a hospital and that was a nice sight for her.
"I wanted to share this moment with you." Neo said. "That's why I made them get you, I hope you're not upset."
"Not at all."
"Do you think I'm crazy, Trinity?"
"Neo…you jumped out of the second story window."
"Do you think I'm crazy?"
"…You're only sick, Neo, we can make you better."
"Trinity, I'm not sick, if anything I'm the only one that's well. Me and Smith, but we've sort of discovered recently he's not what he seems to be. Appearances can be deceiving." Neo frowned.
"Neo…can't you just try and get better?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you want to get out of this place? You have to get better, Neo, and they'll let you go. You got to stop this, Neo, or else they'll never let you go. You have to stop, you have to get better, I want you to."
"I am better, Trinity…"
"Neo, you don't understand."
"No, Trin, you don't understand. I'm fine, Trin, trust me I'm fine, you're not ready, I'll tell you when you're ready okay? I promise I'll tell you everything about everything, and then…then everything will be okay. I promise."
The two found themselves trying to free one another from what they thought was a prison. Michelle truly did want Neo out of the Asylum. She did want him to be better. She did want to show him the city, and teach him how to drive. He had the curiosity that she just wanted to fill. He was so sweet, so innocent, this place, this horrible place she forced herself to go to everyday was not worthy of him. The sane Michelle called out for the sane Thomas A. Anderson, believing with all her being that he was in that confused Neo.
She wanted him to get better, this with all sincerity was true.
And he just wanted her to be free.
"Neo…I don't know if I can keep being this person you want me to be…"
"What are you talking about, Trin?"
"I don't know if I am this Trinity, Neo, I'm just Michelle. You're going to have to accept that."
"Michelle…be who you are…and I'll be me, and we'll see okay?"
Neo believed and believed that Michelle, the one and only Michelle was his Trinity. The Trinity who kept him company when he was alone with just his cold and empty mind. Newly reborn with only the empty Smith for company. All that Neo had was the memory of her face, the memory of her touch and her warmth.
Michelle was Trinity, Neo believed, there was nothing she could do that would stop that. It was only a matter of time now. Neo knew that now, he knew, he knew, he knew, and he accepted it.
"Neo…"
"Everything is going to work out, I have seen it."
The door swung open.
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything." Smith said at the door.
Michelle wiped her eyes and said not at all, and left.
"I must be more careful with her. She's afraid." Neo says. "Hey, how'd you get here!" Neo beamed at Smith.
Smith sat next to him and raised his hand. There a deep and long cut went down his center of his palm. It was wrapped up in bandages and covered in stitches.
"I broke our window, and cut myself. They had to take me here. They gave me stitches and I asked if I could see you now." Smith explained.
"That was smart of you." Neo said. "But now they'll have to get us a new window."
"Sacrifices, Mr. Anderson. Sometimes they are necessary."
But Smith held up his hand again and pushed it towards Neo.
"She was wrong." Smith said. "Your Oracle. See? I have blood."
"Smith…" Neo grabbed Smith's hand.
"Is it not enough proof?"
Neo rubbed Smith's wound, sort of peering at it, as if he could see more now than the doctors could.
"We cannot deny the truth." Neo said.
"There just dreams." Smith frowned.
"But it is my dreams that have told us that this place is not real, and you believe those ones…"
"I have blood, I have flesh."
"Do you?"
"Do YOU?"
Neo held Smith's hand tighter.
"I'm afraid, Smith. I'm afraid of all this."
"I'm real, I'm real. See? Flesh, and blood. She said I didn't have these things."
Neo nodded, he couldn't deny it.
"But what could you be if you are not human?"
"I am."
Neo sighed.
"Changing the subject," Smith took his had away from Neo, "What were you doing jumping off the second story window!" Smith punched Neo in the head, with his healthy hand. "We are already in enough trouble as it is!"
"I had to! And I didn't fall for your information! I flew!"
"Then why did you hit the ground!"
"I flew, Smith I flew!" Neo yelled. "I stood in the air, and I was flying, but then I stopped believing, for that one second I questioned what I was doing, that made me fall! But now I won't question, I know I can fly, I know! I did it Smith, I flew! Oh…and I kept the key from them, see it's in my sock, I was able to hide it before they found me!"
"Mr. Anderson…"
"I did! I can teach you!"
"Teach me?"
"Of course!" Neo said as if it were obvious. "It's easy!"
"You're just lucky it was only the second story. All you did was hurt your back. It could have been worse."
"Duh." Neo said. "That's why I did it from the second story!"
"Duh?" Smith asked.
"Oh, it's a new word, Miho taught it to me."
Smith blinked for a moment, not knowing this Miho, he shook his head.
"Don't do it again!" Smith said.
"But if I practice, I can fly us out of here!"
"You didn't fly, you FELL!"
"How would you know, you weren't there!"
"If you really did fly, we wouldn't be here!"
"I lost my concentration!"
"Don't do it again! Or else they'll put us back in the straight jackets!"
"Oh, and cutting yourself is a much better idea?"
"I wouldn't have cut myself if you hadn't jumped out of a window!"
"I can't win with you, can I?"
"It's just that I'm right!"
"At least I'm real!"
"I'M REAL!"
"At least I accept the truth!"
Smith paused, and stared a deathly stare at Neo. He looked away, and held up his hand.
"I am here." Smith said. "I have a mind. I think with it. I am real. If what you say is true, if I have no flesh and no blood, I have a mind. I am real."
-------------------
"Further analysis shows that the jump was not suicidal, but delirious." The doctor says to the others.
"Smith's show of violence on himself has been determined to be a tactic only to meet with Neo."
"They want to see each other."
"They can still see each other and be separated in different rooms."
"They seem to be becoming increasingly violent towards each other."
"They need to be reminded that there are rules and boundaries here."
"Separation is inevitable."
"Do it now."
-----------------------
Next Chapter: Two Paths
Sorry it took so long everyone, with the upcoming of V for Vendetta I felt particularly Smith loving, and had to finish this. I'm going to see V this Friday with all my friends, who couldn't make it with me to see Revolutions opening day. I have faith in this movie, I truly utterly do.
Freedom! Forever!