Ok so this chapter is meant to speed us along on our journey. I hope you are all enjoying the story. I would also like to thank my reviewers.
I considered quitting on this story but your positive reviews made me hang in there.
I think I have a few good idea's for what's next.
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I left the Head's Dorm with every intention of racing to my friend's and telling them everything that had just happened but the more I calmed
down the more I started to think. What had Draco and Blaise really done that was SO bad ? They were trying to look out for me. Sure they
should have told me but, it didn't seem to have occurred to my dad so maybe it didn't occur to them ether ?
Then there was the matter of the marriage contract .
Well Draco had just wanted out of it and I can understand that, and if he had asked for my help I know without thinking about
it that I would have helped him. Pansy is one nasty piece of work and I wouldn't wish that on anyone not even Malfoy.
So I suppose I can't really be angry about that. The more I started to think about thing's the slower I was walking
until finally I just took a seat near the second floor landing. I just sat there going over things in my mind.
Millicent has been nothing but a good friend and if I thought it over, so had Blaise.
Max is a tattle tale but I have heard a lot of students with sibling's complain about that.
So maybe that's just something that I have to get used to now that I'm no longer an only child ?
Draco was annoying but if a thought about it. I had to grudgingly admit that he did come through
for me when I needed him and as long as I don't have to actually marry the git he isn't THAT bad for an exabishionist perv .
Ok so what am I angry about ? After thinking about it for a while I decided that the thing that was making me the most upset was.
Being kept in the dark. I am used to taking care of myself and making my own decisions.
How can I be expected to do that if I don't have all the fact's ? The other problem as I see it is that I am being stuck in
the middle between to groups of people that hate each other.
I need to find a way to live in the middle. If my friends are really my friends they won't make me choose between them and my family.
Also if I was honest with myself about it. I hadn't been a very good friend's to Millie ,Draco, Blaise or
Max for that matter . I have been to caught up in my own drama the last few day's and avoiding them isn't axactly the act of a friend. Well what now ?
They say if you want friends you have to be a friend. So I guess that's what I need to do.
But I also need to make it clear to them that if they want to be my friend they need to stop keeping secrets from me.
With my thought's finally sorted out and feeling that my head was clearer than it had been in a long time I got up and headed in
to the Great Hall and took my seat between Millie and Draco across from Blaise. No time like the present. I thought.
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I had long talks with both groups of my friends. None of them were happy but they seemed to understand my position .
Some more so than others, but they were willing to work with me and that's all that mattered to me.
I also had a long talk with Max about the tattling and I made it very clear that it had to stop and in exchange.
I would write home more often. This seemed to make him happy and he quit being such a pest. So by extension I was happy to.
Pansy , Greengrass, and Rookwood had detention until winter halls. Any more trouble
from any of them and they were facing expulsion like Marcus Flint. So as a result they were keeping a low profile.
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My life fell into a routine after that. I went to my classes I took turns eating with each group of my friends and all of my free time was spent
ether revising for NEWTS, my extra offensive magic training or working on my secret list of goal's.
I couldn't decide if I should tell anyone about it. I had told Draco, Blaise and Millie about what had happened in the corridor and what
Harry, Ron, Ginny and I were doing about it. The Slytherins had agreed that offensive magic training as well as silent casting practice
was a good idea and had come up with their own list. Defence Againt the Dark Arts, was being taught this year by an Auror, Aron Peirce from the ministry
but I was certain I had seen him at Order meetings. He was a capable instructor but the things he was covering were pretty basic and wouldn't
help someone caught in a serious combat situation. Being best friends with Harry means you have to be better, faster and smarter than the average
student and I'm not saying that to be arrogant. It's just a fact. Death Eaters are vicious they don't care how old you are.
We were going to need more than this class was teaching us if we were going to have any hope of living through the final battle.
I had a feeling that my new mum and dad thought they were going to keep me away from it.
But they were just going to have to except that I am a soldier for the light and I have been for a long time. We are the sum of our choices. I chose
to stand with my friends and fight for peace and freedom. Though I see no need in bringing it up to them unless I have to. Why invite trouble ?
After each side had learned the items on their offensive spell list's about fifteen spells for each side I switched there lists.
Nether side wanted to work together but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. I also reasoned it would help them
work together if it came to that. Being in the middle did have it's advantages.
I worked on my wandless magic mostly while I was alone on patrol at night. I didn't have to worry about Pansy because she had lost
her Prefects badge and had been replaced by Blaise. Another consequence of the attack in the corridor.I also noted that Blaise and Draco's patrols were always the same as mine.
They were probably following me, but I had no proof and it did make me feel a little safer so I decided to ignore it.
My birthday came and went and while I had a full day with load's of well wishes and more gifts than I had ever had before.
The thing I noticed most was the fact that I got nothing from the Grangers. Not a gift or a card ,not even a note.
I tried to be happy and smile for everyone but inside I couldn't wait for it to be over, so I could just go back to my room and be alone with
Crookshanks he always seemed to know when I needed him.
I wondered if they were going to forget me on Christmas to.
Was my mum really that mad at me for not sending the sleek easy like she wanted ?
On the upside I had noticed that the busier I was the fewer nightmares I had. So that was all the motivation I needed to work harder than ever.
I'm certain my Occlumency is now up to scratch. My wandless magic is bordering on impressive and I can't help but feel excited about it.
We were supposed to have a Halloween dace this year but it was cancelled due to some troublemakers setting off two cases of dung bombs in
Professor Snapes class room. They never found out who it was but as a consequence we weren't allowed a dance this year. To say Professor
Snape was angry would never begin to cover the black rage that settled over the potions class room. Even after a thorough cleaning both magical
and muggle the potions class room still had a faint odder. The Professor had confronted every single student in every one of his classes looking
for the guilty party. I don't know if he ever found who he believed to be the culprits but I do think he realized I was an Occluminze. He had held my
eyes longer than the others and I don't believe it was my imagination. I'm certain he gave me a look. I can't explain it really . Like a look of
realization maybe, Or was it surprise ,I'm not really sure, but it was definitely a look but it was gone before I could be sure of what it meant.
I also noticed he seemed to start watching me after that. Mostly when he thought I wasn't looking. I couln't help but wonder what he was looking for.
It was a bit creepy to tell you the truth.
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On a lighter note Draco had put himself on a strict regimen of diet and exercise and was forcing Blaise to do it with him.
I had thought this was very funny at first seeing them suffer through sore muscles and skipping desert
but it stopped being quite so funny when the two of them started to look even better than they had before.
Which was making it even harder to ignore them. A fact they seemed to notice much to my immense irritation. It would seem that I have turned
making a fool out of myself into an art form. Stumbling over my words not to mention my own feet.
Blushing like an ugly tomato over every little thing. The only really good thing I can say is that
Blaise didn't seem to think I was stupid and he had held my hand twice and once he even kissed me. On the lips !
It was wonderful I couldn't believe it. He had just walked me back from the library we had
shared some small talk about our classes. He had done a perfect impersonation of Flitwick that made me laugh. We had just gotten to the
portrait of the two lovers when he hesitated for a moment before pulling me to him.
His lips were soft and warm and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I couldn't believe this was actually happening TO ME !
It would have been a perfect moment to, if Draco hadn't come out of the portrait at just the wrong time and seen it.
I can't remember the last time I 'd been THAT embarrassed I ran to my room and locked the door. I couldn't think of a more justified reason
for murder. From that moment on Draco made it his goal in life to tell the world and humiliate me over it every chance he got.
Which also sparked a row with Ron who had it in his head that I was his girl even though we weren't seeing each other. It would seem he was
under the impression that he was aloud to see whom ever he wanted but I was supposed to wait patiently pining away for him until he got around
to coming for me. Well you can bet I ended THAT, little fantasy for him in a rather loud and public fashion. His ears were red for a week.
I thought Draco and Blaise would never quit their crowing about it. Ron finally got over himself and apologized to me
around the second week .Though I think Ginny is the one to thank for that. It's still makes me sick. My first REAL kiss and it's ruined by Muck
it up Malfoy. Prat of the century. He has never apologized to me ether. A fact that I won't be forgetting any time soon.
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The biggest thing on my list was still the Animagus transformation I had memorized the steps and I understood the theory .
I had also put in hours of practice but I was afraid to take the last step. The one that would start the actual transformation.
What if I did something wrong ? What if I got stuck ? What if I was a stupid embarrassing animal? What I had yelled at my dad about becoming
a rat ? Well, I was just angry I hadn't meant it. I don't want to be a rat.
I want to be something amazing but I can't count on being an otter like my Patronise. Because I noticed when I had attempted to cast it last
it had lost it's form.
It had become this indistinct silvery mass I had asked Professor Mcgonagall about it and she said given the events of this summer that it wasn't
surprising and not to worry.
That my mind and my magic had under gone a big change and that once I found my new balance my Patronise would take shape again though I
shouldn't be surprised if it was different. Physical apperance as well as your magic and your personality all play a part and all of those had changed in me.
She said I should also take note of my wand. If it started to become less responsive or unreliable I may need to get a new one.
I hoped that wouldn't happen. I liked my wand but she also said if I hadn't noticed anything yet it was probably fine.
I finally decided that if I was going to get over my fear I would need someone to do the transformation with me , but who ?
Winter hall's were coming up and I wanted to get this by the time we got back to school.
Harry, Ron and Ginny seemed like the one's that could use it the most ,but the problem was I don't think they would be able to grasp it as
quickly as my Slytherin friend's and Malfoy. So finally I settled on rewriting the step by step instructions in the simplest terms I could manage.
I also snuck a very good book on the theory of the Animagus transformation out of the library. I didn't want any record of any of us researching
any of this. Once I was ready I pulled the three of them into an empty class room after dinner.
I had placed a charm on the instructions so that only the four of us could see them. As for the book it would appear to be about quiddich.
I went over all of it with them. Step by step and told them to practice and that when they were ready we would start trying.
They seemed very excited and promised to practice as much as possible. They had seemed genuinely excited to learn it. This was something
Harry had wanted since he found out about the Marauders becoming unregistered Animagus when they were in school.
So I hoped they would be ready soon. I planed to tell Millie about it also maybe she would work with me. I didn't want to wait for the others.
They didn't need to know I was ahead of them they would just think I was better at it than them as per usual. I liked it better that way anyway.
Millie was quite bright and caught on quickly. So I had high hope's that she could do this with me.
The problem with that was, that I had taken her back to the Heads Dorm to tell her about it and I had thought ,not seeing the boy's around
anywhere that just locking my bedroom door would be enough. I failed to account for a nosey Draco and Blaise eavesdropping on us. About half
way through my explanation the two of them came barreling through the door demanding to know. What we thought we were doing ? And how
dare we attempt to leave them out. So it would seem I now have three people to try it with me.
Perfect ! Something difficult that requires lot's of concentration and I have to do it with THEM watching.
What if I'm a duck ? How awful would that be ? What if my clothes don't change with me and I end up starkers ? How am I supposed to do this with Blaise there ?
I was still mortified about our ruined kiss and I was having a hard time looking at him. To make matters worse Draco was still
randomly making fun of me for it . I didn't see how I was going to ever be able to concentrate. I didn't tell them about the three Gryffindors
that were also practicing for the transformation . They didn't need to know that bit.
I should have just kept my big mouth shut! This is going to be a nightmare.
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Alright so the point was to speed us up so yeah the pace was quicker. But I think it was still good though.